Cadoc was walking towards the monster, sword drawn in an instant, before I had even finished lamenting.

The monster stood at least ten feet tall. It was clearly, I thought, a construct of Berenguer’s, made to defend his home. Why it had taken so long to appear, I still had no idea.

It was a massive rock shaped like a man, made of what looked to be hardened clay, but not quite. It had no eyes, no nostrils, and no mouth. That is how I knew it must have been made and controlled by magic. It apparently didn’t need to see, to breath, and certainly not to speak.

It didn’t hold a weapon of any kind, nor was it clothed. But it was clear it wouldn’t need a weapon. Its fists were like boulders, curled into rock-hard bludgeons at its sides. If there was an obvious weak point of the monster, I didn’t see it. I saw the face of a cliff, a moving mountain. I saw our impending deaths.

Cadoc was still laughing.

I looked around desperately for another way out, but I already knew it was hopeless. The walls were all featureless, having smoothed out when I wasn’t looking, smooth like the unmarked face of this new enemy. The only door was behind the monster.

“It was a pleasure traveling with you, Miles,” Cadoc said, loud enough to project through the hallway. The hallway which had, at some point, widened, so that we now stood in a large arena of a room, empty. The only point of interest were the segments of walls that glowed red with heat, and other spots where the flames had begun to encroach, licking at the edges of our coffin.

The monster simply stood as Cadoc approached. Part of me almost dared to believe it was mindless, a statue.

But then a fist swung out. Cadoc tried to block with his sword, but was unable. The hit took him square in the stomach, and he was launched backwards as if out of a cannon, landing with a sickening sound against the outer wall.

In a moment, my despair became anger. My blood ran hot, and I drew the antisword from my side. I had my mace, but I needed speed. I couldn’t compete with this monster in raw strength. I took my backpack off, and set it beside me. I gripped my weapon harder until my knuckles turned white.

“I’m done,” I said to the monster. To Berenguer, if he was listening, which I suspected he was. And to the world. “I’m absolutely done.

“I refuse to accept that I die here. Tom wouldn’t die here, and who the fuck do you think I am? Did I not do my hair just right, today? Did I not smile enough?” I pointed the end of the antisword at the monster, which stood dumbly across the room.

“Tell me. Tell me what I did wrong. Tell me what little fucking detail I messed up, what gives you the right to attack me here.”

The monster didn’t say anything. It just waited. It didn’t even have ears.

“That’s what I thought. You aren’t playing by the rules!” I yelled. “This isn’t the way it works.

“If I’m taking a test,” I said. “And I see a smart man put down “C” as the answer, then if I put down “C,” too, we both get the answer right.”

I was talking to a giant rock, but I didn’t care. It stood there as if waiting for me to finish, though of course I knew it was only waiting for me to approach so that it could knock me out. It’s job was to guard the exit - it wouldn’t walk away from it and risk letting one of us sneak through.

I saw movement where Cadoc lay, so at least he was alive. He was even starting to get up, slowly, dazed. The blow must not have been as bad as it had looked.

“That’s the way this is supposed to work,” I said. “I do what successful people do, or would do, and then I succeed. That’s how this is supposed to work!

“Instead, I do every little fucking thing right, every little thing, and what? If Tom gets into a boxing ring, he wins. If I train exactly the same as he does, and get into the same ring, against the same opponent, I lose. Why? Confidence? Genetics? Luck? What could I possibly be doing wrong?!”

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I shook my head. “So I’m done. I’m done letting you fucking people break the rules. I’m going to do what Tom would do, and then I’m going to win. And if you break the rules again, and you don’t let me win, like I deserve, I don’t fucking care anymore. I’m going to win.

“I know what you’re thinking,” I continued. “I’ll knock this dude out. Who cares about the rules? When he’s on the ground, a pile of broken bones, what’s he going to do about it?

“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do about it: I’m going to fucking kill you. That’s what has changed here.

“Before, if I lost where Tom had won, I would doubt myself. I would wonder where I went wrong, what little thing I missed. I’m done doing that. I am Tom! I didn’t fucking miss anything. So if I lose a fight in the ring that I should have won, then I don’t go home sulking, not any more. I go to the other guy. I follow him home. I slash his tires. I steal his wallet. I hide rotten fish in his walls, drop laxatives into his protein shake, fill his shampoo bottles with gasoline.

“And then, we fight again. And again. And again. Until he realizes his fucking place. Until he realizes that he is an NPC, and he has no fucking right to win against me.”

Suddenly, I had a better idea, as if I had told the universe I was going to win, and it relented, and told me exactly how I could do it. I squatted down, sticking my hand into my backpack, and pulled out a potion at random. I sheathed my antisword again, and pulled out another potion.

“And you,” I said, while uncorking the potions. “You are not even a human being. You are a brainless, sparkless, worthless machine.” I dropped nails into both of the potions.

“And that means I win.”

I looked to Cadoc. In the time I was talking, he had gotten to his feet, sword in hand again. He looked to me, and nodded.

We both took off.

We came at the monster from both flanks, like a pincer. Cadoc came first, and the monster turned to strike him again. But the monster’s movements were slow and predictable, and Cadoc knew what to do, this time. He sidestepped the fist, letting it crash down beside him. I saw that he winced when he did so, though, one hand holding his side. He must have broken a rib, I thought, but was pushing through it. He was too slow to follow up the dodge with an attack. He scrambled to get out of the way.

But that didn’t matter. He had distracted it.

I threw a potion at the face of the monster. Then I threw the other immediately after, before the first had even shattered. I lit them both with my nails, pulling that invisible string.

The first one did nothing, but the second one exploded into flames. The fire stuck to the monster like napalm, and the creature reeled, silently contorting, unable to scream.

The monster stumbled, holding its head, trying to smother the flames with its hands as its blank face slowly melted.

“The sticks!” I yelled.

Cadoc understood. He held out his hands and summoned sticks, with rounded edges, below the feet of the giant. It worked. The giant stepped on a few, and they rolled out from underneath it. The monster lost its footing, slipped, and crashed to the ground. The impact shook the mansion like an earthquake.

Both of our tricks were old, techniques we had used once before. Why mess with what works? But this was the first time we had used them together, like a team. Despite the danger, Cadoc took a moment to shoot a glance at me, smile, and give me a thumbs up.

But I was already moving. Turns out I didn’t need the antisword at all. I took the mace from my back while running to the downed enemy. It tried to stand back up, but its face still burned. Cadoc was stabbing it, as well, his sword piercing the thing’s head like soft, wet clay. The monster flailed wildly, but didn’t die. A sword wasn’t the right weapon for the job.

I swung the mace down, screaming, on the monster’s head. The head caved in with a sound like punching meat.

I swung again. And again. And again. Bits of rock splattered out with each blow.

Cadoc stood aside. There was no need for him, anymore. Not in that battle. I continued to pound the monster’s head, to pulp its skull until it was nothing but an unrecognizable pancake of hot earth.

Even then, I kept swinging. “I win!” I yelled at the lifeless rock. “Do you understand? Do you get it? I. WIN.”

Eventually - I couldn’t tell you how long - I stopped, exhausted. I fell to my knees, breathing heavy and sweating. The room was quiet now, the only noise the flickering of flames at the walls. But the fire hadn’t spread, for whatever reason, like it was being held back.

Cadoc walked over to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. I could see it hurt him to move around, though he was still much better off than I would have expected. His leather armor was visibly beaten and bruised, so I couldn’t imagine what his body must have looked like, underneath.

“Well done,” he said. “I really didn’t think we were getting out of that one.”

I smiled back at him. “You always think we’re going to die.”

“Can you blame me, friend?” he replied. “All the same, well done.”

A sudden noise echoed in the room. And then another. Like the sound of someone clapping.

It was someone clapping.

“Well done, indeed,” a voice said. The voice seemed to come from everywhere, from every direction. “I am impressed by you little thieves, truly. I haven’t had such a show in ages.”

A man appeared out of thin air. He was walking towards us, clapping.

He was tall and imposing, built like a soldier, but wore loose robes of purple and black which seemed to move on their own. He had a goatee, and short hair. He looked like a security guard who went as a wizard for Halloween.

But I couldn’t help but take him seriously. He exuded a sense of power, and I had just seen him appear out of nowhere.

“Berenguer,” I said under my breath.

“So you know me?” he said, laughing. “That makes things easier, doesn’t it? No need for long introductions. I am Berenguer, and you are Rat A, and Rat B. I’ve been looking for you. It’s a pleasure, I’m sure.”

Cadoc and I simply stared, though Cadoc gripped his sword tightly, and I knew he was waiting for an opportunity to strike.

“I have to hand it to you,” Berenguer continued. “I really did not see this one coming. I knew I would catch you eventually, but I really, truly, did not expect you to walk right into my home and try to rob me. It is perhaps the most foolish plan I have ever heard of, and yet, so admirably brave in its own right, wouldn’t you say?”

I couldn’t wait any longer. It would be best to attack during his monologue, while he was still off guard.

I ran at him, drawing my antisword in one swift motion. Cadoc ran as well.

Then Berenguer disappeared. Simply vanished.

The voice of Berenguer came from everywhere again. Cadoc and I looked all around, but couldn’t see him. He made a tutting noise. “Tch. A little violent, aren’t we?

“No matter. Let us end this charade, yes? We have business to discuss.”

The moment the last word was spoken, the room darkened to pitch blackness. Then, only a moment later, light returned, but we were somewhere completely different, though my backpack still lay beside me.

It was a cell.