I ran out into a large chamber. It was hard to see at first what I was looking at, as the view was obscured by coiling clouds of steam.
Before us was a wide, flat cavern, shaped like a semi-circle with the “zenith” of the room being where we had come in. Butted up against the far wall, and taking up about half of the space, was a pool of water, longer than a football field. It was fed by a stream, which meandered over an outcropping of rock wedged almost dead center, the stream splitting into two smaller waterfalls, the stone face dividing the water into two halves, like a kidney-shaped swimming pool but more exaggerated.
There had to have been some kind of geothermal activity beneath our feet, because a thin steam filled the space, and became thicker as you approached the water. It was humid and warm, and before long I felt my clothes begin stick to my skin.
“Water!” Naomi shouted. “And warm!” She ran to the water’s edge and held her hand over it, testing the heat. Cadoc was wandering around already, seemingly checking the perimeter for other paths, while Amaia made motions to try to stop or warn Naomi, who ignored her and stuck her hand in the water. She didn’t recoil in pain, so I guessed it wasn’t boiling hot or anything.
I approached to stand beside Amaia, and Naomi looked up at us from where she had knelt by the pool. One hand was still in the water, the other wrapped around her staff, using it as support. “The temperature is perfect,” she said. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“What?” I asked.
“I don’t know about you,” she said. “But I haven’t bathed in…you don’t even want to know how long.”
“I noticed,” Amaia responded.
Naomi splashed water up at Amaia. “You’re not exactly smelling like flowers yourself, y’know? I vote we take a break.”
“Naomi,” I said, while Amaia shook her head. “We only just left. We can fill up our canteens, but now isn’t the time for a rest stop.”
“Just left? We’ve been walking for hours.”
I checked my watch. I wasn’t sure exactly when we had departed, but she had to have been right. Wow. I really spaced out, I thought.
“Dangerous,” Amaia said. “Could be ambushed.”
“Oh, lighten up!” Naomi said. “Your magic still works while wet, doesn’t it? And my staff is waterproof. We won’t be any less safe than normal.
“Besides,” she said, pointing her staff at Amaia, “Aren’t you the maniacs wanting to find the Kalamuzi’s home? You care about safety all of a sudden?”
“I’m with Amaia,” I said. “We don’t have the time to spare, not on something so unimportant. It’s a luxury we can’t afford.”
“Unimportant?” Naomi responded. “Luxury? Didn’t you pay attention in demigod school? We’re dealing with Kalamuzi. They’re like big walking diseases. You don’t think we might want to, like, wash up, occasionally? Personally, I’d like to not catch rat’s cough, thank you.”
I scratched my head. I’d never even thought of that. It had never crossed my mind that diseases existed in that dimension. Although in most ways I was treating it like reality - I thought - in other ways, that world still felt like a fantasy, like I was in a film. I struggled to recall the last fantasy movie I had watched that featured a character getting seriously ill - from something other than a curse, or poison.
I had been spending an inordinate amount of time around corpses, rats, and just general filth. And as for bathing… had I taken a single bath the entire time since I had arrived? I couldn’t recall. Maybe once, at the inn in Dross, but I wasn’t sure.
I was suddenly aware of just how crazy my personal hygiene had been. There was always something more important to attend to - living another day, for example, or not getting my life repossessed. I had done some personal grooming, in order to keep myself up to a Tom-standard, but in other ways, I was filthier than anyone I’d ever met on Earth. The more I thought about it, the more gross I felt. I thought about how long it had been since I had run out of MRE toilet paper, and the compromises I had had to make on that front. A bath sounded like a great idea, actually.
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“You make a fair point,” I conceded. “But we ought to take turns, at least. So that someone can stand guard while the others are in the water.”
Naomi looked offended. “Well, yeah. Obviously. We’re not getting in together. The men are going to stay WAY on the other side of the room, while the girls-“
She was interrupted by a splash, the sound of something falling into the water. We all turned - I thought it must have been a falling rock or something, and was already rethinking how safe this idea was.
It was Cadoc. He had jumped him. He rose to the surface, spit a stream of water from his mouth like a fountain, and then waved, his chest bare.
“The water is safe,” he said. “No need to fear.”
And so the men ended up bathing first. Naomi and Amaia retreated to the opposite side of the pool, Naomi grumbling all the while, and Amaia shooting furtive glances back at us. I didn’t undress until they were out of sight.
Not that I felt particularly comfortable undressing in front of Cadoc, either. I knew that there were places and cultures, even on Earth, which found it perfectly normal to be naked in front of members of the same sex, but the United States of America was not one of those places, Americans not, generally, one of those cultures. Even if we were, I still would have found it uncomfortable, personally, if for no other reason than that it was exceedingly difficult to make the lower part of your body match someone else’s. That hadn’t stopped me, of course, because I was willing to do whatever it took - and let me tell you, for as much as women complain about getting dick pics all the time, getting a good reference image was much harder than it looked. Couldn’t just walk up to Tom and ask for a photo shoot.
And then, the actual process of changing the appearance - I shuddered even thinking about it. I had still been perfecting it when I had entered that new dimension, considering some kind of elective surgery - when I had the money, or could secure the right loan - and so the work was unfinished, a block of marble only half carved. Now that I had the theory that anger was what I had been missing, it almost felt silly, but I had legitimately thought that, perhaps, every single part of my body needed to match Tom’s in order to be successful. The reason it was silly, of course, is that no one ever saw that detail, so it wouldn’t, obviously, have had any effect on how people interacted with me. But I had been trying to prepare for exactly this kind of situation - unexpected nudity. A part of me worried that, if Cadoc saw, he would know that I was an impostor, just from that detail. I hurriedly undressed and stepped in, letting the steam and water restore my privacy.
The water felt amazing. I dipped my head under it once, to wash my hair, and I felt like a snake sloughing off a layer of old skin. The warm water soothed my weary muscles. I immediately wanted to take a nap.
I hadn’t noticed it before, but the falling water was noisy. Cadoc tried to shout something at me from the other side of the half-pool, and while I could hear it, I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Eventually he drifted over - I was sitting on a little ledge, and he sat on another running perpendicular to that one, probably six feet away or so.
“Are you really a demigod?” he asked, half yelling before realizing I could hear him fine at this distance. This question again, I thought. I had no real problem with lying, but I only hoped I wasn’t digging myself into a hole.
“It’s complicated,” I said again. Being vague was a classic strategy. Special people are often mysterious as well, so it also served as camouflage.
“You said there is violence in your country, yes? Even without magic, there are wars. Fighting. Struggle.”
“There is.”
Cadoc was looking off at the waterfall. “But there are no duels in the heavens, are there?” he asked. He sounded almost disappointed.
I shook my head. “I can only say that there are no duels where I come from. Not formal duels, anyway.”
He smiled a bitter smile. “That is a shame, but I suppose I could have guessed at the truth.” He lowered his gaze. “I have been a fool.”
He turned to me and bent his head down in a bow, his nose touching the surface of the water. “Forgive me, friend. I have treated you dishonorably. You knew nothing of our customs here below. Only say the word, and I will end my own life, in compensation.”
“What?!” I shouted. “No! What the hell are you talking about? I forgive you. Whatever, dude, it’s fine.”
He lifted his head, smiling. “I am happy to hear it. You are a boon companion.” He extended his hand.
I took it, and we shook. “Don’t just fucking threaten suicide over a disagreement,” I said. “It makes you look like a maniac. I’d rather we prove Naomi wrong, occasionally.”
“It is the way of my people,” he said. “When a man reaches a point of cowardice he cannot recover from, the only solution is to take his own life. I was a coward for doubting my friend.”
I shook my head. Cadoc continues to shock me with how fucking insane he is. “It’s fine. I was being an asshole, too. Let’s just get back to being friends, alright?”
He nodded. The he motioned with his head to something over my right shoulder. “I believe we have company, Miles.”
I turned, and a shock of black hair disappeared behind the stone wall. Amaia was slower - I got a solid look before she blushed and disappeared, too.
“Like what you see?!” I yelled, mocking Naomi in particular. You would think I would be mortified, but honestly, it was hard to stay stressed about much of anything in that water. Besides, the water and steam had to have obscured everything anyway.
“I can’t hear you!” Naomi yelled back.
After that, I simply relaxed into the water, letting the heat unknot my back, letting the steam clear out my sinuses, letting myself relax for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Amaia and Naomi would fend off anything that tried to attack us - Amaia could disarm them, and Naomi could cut them in half. If anything, I was more worried for when it was Cadoc and I’s turn to guard.
I drifted into a thoughtless sleep. I didn’t dream at all. No voices, no Mom, no Tom. Just pure, thoughtless bliss.
I awoke violently.
“Wake up, Miles!” Cadoc yelled, shaking me awake. I blinked, looking around drowsily.
“What’s going on,” I yawned. “Is it time to switch?”
“I heard the sound of shouting,” Cadoc said. He was already throwing his clothes on, still wet. “They must be in combat even now. Come, quickly!”
I was honestly quite surprised that Cadoc hadn’t simply run off to join the battle naked. But my mind caught up with the reality, and I grabbed my clothes, dressing as quickly as I could and regretting the soaking wet armor. It was humid enough in that room that I would have sweat through them anyway, but that didn’t make it any more comfortable.
I was moving fast, but I wasn’t as worried as Cadoc seemed to be. We were the vulnerable ones, after all. Really it was lucky that we’d been attacked from that direction, and not the other, if we even were attacked. Amaia and Naomi weren’t disarmed and naked.
Or so I thought.