My ear hurts.

It was a dull, throbbing pain which got worse when I lied down. Only my left ear. There was a feeling like my ear was blocked as well, but that wasn’t much different from normal, since the communicator was always stuck inside, just out of sight. Maybe that’s why I hadn’t noticed it, at first, until the pain started.

I was in a room the family had given me after our talks. Gad hadn’t said much more of value, only that he would put together a list of what he needed and that we’d be making a lot of money together.

“And health potions?” I had asked him. “How easy are those to make?”

He had looked at me credulously. “Health potions? Why?”

“If I’m going to be going out into the wild looking for ingredients, I’m going to want a stock of them, just in case,” I lied. Well, not entirely a lie - the best lies have some kernel truth in them.

“Ah,” he had said. “I understand. Yes, they are quite easy to produce. I could show you myself, sometime, or else I can assign you a servant who can make you what you need.”

“I’ll get back to you on that,” I had said. “But find me that servant, just in case.”

In my room with my aching ear, I wished I really had a health potion on hand - and for personal use, like I’d led Gad to believe.

The suite was small, but decadent, every wall papered and every piece of furniture ornate. I realized upon entering how long it had been since I had seen cushions, or nice carpeting, or even a bathroom with a toilet more sophisticated than a hole in the ground - though I still suspected it simply dumped waste out the side of the hill, or something.

The bedroom didn’t have a bed, as such, but rather the entire floor was cushioned, thick cushions which felt better than any bed I’d ever slept in. The walls were cushioned as well, and while that gave me the impression of being an insane man trapped in a padded room, it was undoubtedly comfortable.

There was also a large mirror in the ceiling, and that creeped me out more.

The main room - off which was the simple bathroom with a soaking tub - was sparsely furnished. A carved desk, a fainting couch, and a coffee table. A small fireplace as well, built into the innermost wall. One of the walls was draped, obscuring glass which could be opened to access the balcony, a small table with two chairs sitting there in case one wanted to look over the city and enjoy the sunlight.

I was sitting on the couch, sitting up to avoid any further pain, hoping the servant who had shown me to my room would be back soon with that potion.

A fucking ear infection, I thought to myself. Just my luck.

I’d always gotten ear infections as a kid. No matter what I did, my ears simply wouldn’t drain correctly, so every time I went swimming there was a high likelihood I’d end up in pain. I avoided swimming once I figured out that connection, as you might imagine.

Must have been from jumping into that fucking river, I thought. The water has been sitting in my ear this entire time, I guess.

The servant still wasn’t back - what’s taking him so long? - so I figured I’d check in on my slave-driver of an employer and see if my plan could work.

“RENA,” I said, and braced myself to hear that often-grating voice piped into my head.

No answer.

“RENA? Hello? I know you can hear me. Didn’t you have questions for me, anyway? Here’s your chance. Answer me.”

Still nothing.

The water.

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Panic shot up my body like the ignition of lighter fluid. I’m stuck here. I’m fucked. I’m completely fucked.

No. Calm down. The thing is waterproof. They told you about this. Calm down, Miles.

I tried to breath and steady myself. I was overreacting.

Just then the servant knocked at the door.

I rose, tried to put on a normal face, and answered the door. I took the potion - in a corked bottle like an Erlenmeyer flask - said thanks, and shut the door.

“OK,” I said to myself, pacing around the room. “They prepared you for this. What did they say again… ‘In the event of contact with water, the device will allow the water to pass through unimpeded, and the device will not be effected unless it is submerged for a period of time much longer than you could hold your breath. However, in the unlikely event that the water becomes stuck inside the device, it will automatically shut itself off as not to damage the electronics. In this case, you will have to remove the device and let it dry. Do NOT use rice to dry the device. If rice or rice dust becomes stuck in the device, your chances of repair drop to near zero.’

“It’s a good thing they said that about the rice,” I said. “Because I definitely would have tried that. If they even have rice here.”

I hope nothing fried, I thought. Or else I really am fucked. I just have to pray that the engineers at Dimen-X knew what they were doing.

“I wonder if Tom helped make it. He hand a hand in just about everything else going on with this project.”

A thought hit me. “Maybe Tom’s communicator got wet!” I said. “That would explain everything. He’s not dead, he just got transported into a lake or something.

“Except, why did he never dry it out and come back online?”

I shook my head. One problem at a time.

I brought my left hand up to my ear and tried to pinch the communicator to pull it out. But it was impossible to get a grip on - obviously they had put it pretty deep inside, so as not to be discovered, or lost. Even with perpetually-long nails like mine, it was unreachable.

“Nice fucking job, guys. What do you expect me to do? Ask one of the locals to use some tweezers? Well, if I had tweezers in the first place, maybe I could do it myself. But I don’t. So what, get someone to pry it out with some chopsticks or something, then? There goes the secrecy. You really thought this one through, huh?”

Sometimes I wondered if Dimen-X was run by people who were actually mentally challenged. They could make billions of dollars, discover another dimension, and create advanced AI, but they couldn’t make a decent plan for an unexpected swim.

Then again, they had sent two of us. Maybe they had just expected Tom to pull it out for me, if this came up.

“Fucking Dimen-X,” I said, realizing suddenly that, since they couldn’t hear me, I could say whatever I wanted. “Fuck you, Rhett, rich sonofabitch. I hate this fucking company, and it feels so good to be able to say that out loud.”

Still, I needed them to get home.

“Do I trust anyone enough?” I asked myself. “Do I really want to reveal to Cadoc or Amaia that I’m not from the heavens? I’ve never outright lied to them, but I doubt they’ll see it that way. But maybe they’d understand. Or maybe I could just lie more, say it’s some heavenly artifact stuck in my ear. Would they believe me?”

I thought for a long time about it, ear throbbing all the while. “No,” I finally decided. “I can’t trust anyone at that level. Can’t take that risk.”

Unfortunately, I only had one other idea for how to remove the device.

“You fuckers are lucky I got this power,” I muttered. “Or else you’d lose your fucking guinea pig.”

I’d have to get the timing just right, or else I could end up melting the communicator, liquid plastic seeping into my ear canal. Which meant I had to practice.

I tried my best to muffle my screams, but I locked the door first, just in case. Someone might hear, and I didn’t want to be interrupted.

By the time I was confident in my abilities, every one of my fingers was terribly burnt, and the pain stung fiercely. On the plus side, I didn’t notice the ear pain anymore. There were also a few cushions - all I could find in short notice - with scorch marks, and others which had melted through. I’d make up some excuse for that later. And although pillows were a lot different from that thing in my ear, I figured the timing would be more or less the same no matter what it was.

I was tempted beyond belief to gulp down the health potion, but I knew I needed to save it for when I was finished. And I didn’t want to call for another so soon, and draw some sort of suspicion. Call me paranoid if you want, but paranoia had kept me alive thus far.

“Alright,” I said to myself. It was hard to keep a clear mind with the pain, but I had no choice. “Here goes nothing.”

I melted the nail on my left index finger. The already-burnt fingertip erupted into a new dimension of pain, but I’d prepared myself. A leather belt was in my mouth, and I bit down hard on it. I’d seen that in a movie before. I wasn’t sure that it helped, but it kept me from screaming again.

I counted down internally, bearing the pain as best as I could until the appointed time. Then, with one swift movement, I stuck the finger into my ear, holding the melted nail up against the surface of the communicator.

I waited. I could feel the nail-substance cool, though the pain in no way subsided. Still I waited. If I pulled too early, I’d have to do it again. But that wasn’t as bad as the opposite - if I hadn’t waited long enough, the device would be toast.

Finally, I pulled.

The device felt so deep. Pulling it out felt like removing an eyeball, the optic nerve trailing behind. The more I pulled the more came out, and it kept going and going - or at least, that’s the way it felt.

For a moment there was a tug, and my heart skipped a beat. But I pulled a little more, praying and cursing, and it came loose.

That done, I immediately peeled the dried nail off of my finger, and almost simultaneously uncorked and chugged the potion. A tingling sensation began in my fingertips, and then a cooling sensation like menthol. The pain didn’t go away immediately, but was smothered and lessened right away. A higher quality potion than whatever I’d used before.

I took awhile to steady myself, eyes closed. Finally, I took a look at the device, afraid I may have melted it.

It was shaped like the inside of the ear, and was no wider than a pinky finger, no longer than an inch. The inside was partially hollow, and apparently the electronics were held within that outer ring. If I was in a better mood, I might have marveled at how small the thing was, when you considered all of its functions - but it didn’t seem particularly small at that moment.

There was a redish-brown residue on it, and that must have been the clay from the water. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wiped it off as best as I could. Then I took the table from the balcony, brought it just inside, and laid the device on it, door still open to the outside, so that air and sunshine could reach it, but the roof would protect it from any unexpected rain.

I collapsed on the couch, exhausted. But it wasn’t long before another thought hit me, and I sat bolt upright once again.

“This is my chance,” I said. “They can’t hear me, and they can’t see what I’m seeing. This is the only true privacy I’ve had in months.”

Not that a lack of privacy has stopped me from doing some very questionable things, I thought. But still.

I grabbed a piece of paper from the desk - the best thing I could find, unless I wanted to use a towel, which I considered - and took it with me into the bedroom.