The Conquistador expected a lot from the blacksmiths and the woodworkers. He had given them all some rather specific instructions on what he had expected. In fact, he even had to dumb it down for them to understand exactly what a crossbow even was.
As he described, the crossbow was similar to that of a handheld ballista. Light enough that any normal person could maneuver and operate without any issues at all. A necessary firing mechanism that would shoot out the bolt and a winch to rear back the string so that another shot could be loaded. Last but not least, a sight and balancing that would allow the weapon to be accurate with each of its shots without fail.
All of this wasn’t too demanding. These people have talked about ballistas existing, so there had to be crossbows invented by this point. All of that should have been explained even further after he gave a clear explanation of what exactly the weapon was as well as how it looked and felt. With all of that, there should have been no problem at all to create this weapon. Logic and reason demanded that things should work out as expected.
So what was this abomination in front of him right now?
This thing, this sheer ridiculous weapon in front of him, was an absolute sham of a crossbow. If they were going to say that this device in front of him was their magnum opus and one that was made for the purpose of utilization, he was going to beat each and every single one of them with his bare hands.
The device in front of him simply could not be called a crossbow. That would be a grave mistake, as this was nothing more than a giant slab of wood. No, that wasn’t quite right, as there were fundamental pieces of a crossbow: a trigger guard that for some reason laid on top of the entire foundation, the aiming reticle that seemed to be some mashed up pieces of metal to form a circle with an x within, and last but not least, the string that had to be pulled back manually with direct force. No winch, only the pure strength of someone that had the power of an angel to achieve such a task.
Which made him even more perplexed on how the hell all of this even came to fruit. He certainly knew that none of these parameters were in his descriptions, almost as if they had all decided to ignore his requests and make whatever they wanted. This all seemed outrageous, almost insulting. What was going through their minds when they decided this was the best they could provide?
“Who designed this?” He snapped as he looked over this monstrosity, “Who was the person who allowed this to be the final build? I want answers yesterday, tell me right now before I have to go out and question each and every single last one of you for a response.”
“M-m-m-my lord, I… I am the designer.”
The Conquistador turned rapidly towards the source of that pathetic voice, only to come face to face with a short man with a tall beard, his blue eyes quivering in fear. His brown-white busy hair started to quiver from the constant shaking, one that was most likely caused by the absolute rage he was emanating.
Well, that was fine. This bastard needed to know where he stood on this social ladder. He wasn’t someone that could make calls or even decide to change things on a whim. Why, this bastard wasn’t even worth the dirt he stood on at this time.
“Well? Explain why you designed this absolute freakish device. If you don’t have a reasonable explanation, then there will be blood. Understand?”
“My lord…” The designer took a moment to take a deep breath, before grimacing, “My lord, this is all just a big misunderstanding. This isn’t the final build, this is just a prototype!”
“A prototype.”
“Y-yes!” The designer thrust his hand towards the abomination, “W–why, this is merely the foundation for what is to come. This is nothing more than an attempt to make the ballista… smaller…”
“This.” He deadpanned, “This is all an attempt to get the ballista to be handheld?”
“Yes!” The designer seemed to have found his voice as he wheezed before continuing, “Yes, that is all this is! We are trying to do what you requested: making the ballista smaller and handheld! While this seems awful, I can assure you that this works as intended! The design is rather weak, but it is all meant to be a proof of concept!”
“So it works.”
“Yes! It works absolutely well, exactly as you–”
“So if it works,” he drawled slowly, dragging out each word for emphasis, “Why did you not try to, say, replicate the aesthetics of the ballista, and go for this wacky set-up?”
At that, the designer shut his mouth. He opened it to try to respond, before closing it once more. Sweat poured down his brow in droves as he clearly tried to come up with an explanation frantically, but it was clear that it was a losing battle. At which point he turned towards Mandeline, hoping for some salvation and even a way out.
All she could do was give him a look, one that simply stated ‘what do you want me to do?’, before gesturing for him to continue. The designer could do nothing, only swallow audibly and get ready to try to explain the discrepancy.
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“We-well, we started out with the original design of a ballista. We ended up facing several problems with the structural integrity, so we had to set this up as the form. The winch wouldn’t fit with the design request, and we weren’t certain how to set it up, so we had to make do with the pulley system. Last but not least, the trigger system wouldn’t really work with this new set-up, so we had to… put it on top.”
The Conquistador took that moment to look at the designer with a stink eye. He kept that glare for a while, before palming his face and taking a deep breath.
In and out. He had to calm down. This was something these incompetent morons had spent so long working, and it was made clear that this was nothing more than a prototype design for the future device. Even if the designer chose to ignore the very basics of following through with the set-up of a ballista and giving up on even trying to get anything working as intended, he at least managed to produce a working crossbow. One that was misshapen, nowhere near similar to the design of the ballista, and something that definitely could not be wielded by the average person.
This wasn’t too bad. As long as this worked… as long as this worked…
“Alright. Show me how this crossbow works and we’ll just get on with it.”
The designer seemed to pause, before taking a deep breath. He raised a finger to say something, at least until the Conquistador growled and gave him a death glare.
“I swear to the Holy Spirit, if you are about to tell me that this is not usable by any normal people…”
“No, no! This is totally usable, I swear!” The designer waved his hands nervously, before swallowing, “Though, it may take two men? Maybe one of the monsters could use it if we… demonstrated how it goes.”
“You utter bastard!”
The Conquistador slammed his boot on the ground, causing the designer to cower in absolute fear, “You had one job! How the hell could you have failed in this single request?! I gave you everything that you would need to get all of this done and laid out all the parameters quite cut and dry! How are you so incompetent that you are unable to carry out even the most basic of requests?!”
“My-my lord!” Just before he could do something to this useless whelp in front of him, she came in front with her arms raised, “Pe–perhaps this is a boon! If this works as they explained, then that could all be useful in the future, right? We have a working prototype that could be used by the soldiers now, and we could have a small but dedicated team working on perfecting the design you requested! Wouldn’t that be a win-win?”
“A win-win would be if this buffoon could follow basic orders!” He roared, “I have half the mind to chop his head off as a demonstration of what disobedience and attempts to subvert our cause will result! He clearly doesn’t take anything seriously, especially with the Usurper’s forces coming in to kill all of us!”
The designer opened his mouth to say something, whether that be to complain or say something even stupider. Any attempts of speaking were shut down as Mandeline quickly swerved around and slammed her hands against his lips.
“S–so, my lord, I think we should have one of your soldiers test the prototype! I–If it works out, then we could do as I suggested, right?”
“Do you really think this incompetent buffoon could even carry out such basic requests?” He asked harshly as he looked her down, “Tell me. Look at that thing he had built with everyone’s help and tell me if that looks even close to the ballista you are familiar with. I can wait.”
“No, no! I can tell rather quickly that it isn’t what you specified.” She took a while to close her eyes and breathe, before speaking out once more, “But perhaps this might be a system of the problems that comes with the fact that we don’t really have a weapons designer on the team?”
He opened his mouth to retort, only to come to a halt. He looked at the small group of blacksmiths, then to the woodworkers, before back towards Mandeline.
She did have a small point. In a way, none of these people were used to creating siege weapons. Though, the blacksmith was most likely far more capable of creating weapons and knowing how to create them. The woodworkers most definitely have learned how to make bows considering every single last bit of knowledge had regarding the importance of ranged combat. Thus, this all led to the fact that they should have been able to achieve his desired request.
Though, maybe it was because they did not have a weapons designer that the end result was this abomination. He doubted it, but at this point, what could he really do?
He couldn’t necessarily convert every single last one of the failures here, as that would result in having no professionals to work on his projects. No, he had to keep every single last one of these morons alive and cognizant, which was something he wasn’t really too keen on at this time. In any case, why not try out her suggestion? If this worked, then everything would be fine. If not, well, he had an idea of what to do.
“Alright.” With that, he snapped his finger and one of his soldiers walked up, before looking towards the abomination. He gave them the order and without further ado, they picked up the thing. From the first attempt, it was clear that this thing was clunky and hard to use. However, eventually the monster was able to figure out how to hold the weapon in a way to fire.
He didn’t bother giving it a target to shoot, he just gave the order. With that, they opened fire, which resulted in the weapon actually firing. Granted, there were no bolts or projectiles loaded within to launch, but that did not matter: the string still shot forward.
So the bare minimum was achieved. Big deal.
He waved his hand and with that, the monster started to pull back the string. That took a lot longer than he expected as this monster had to struggle with the mechanism, but it did eventually achieve its task.
Well, it worked. There was that. With that, he couldn’t help but groan before turning towards the designer and Mandeline.
“Get a good amount of these things made. We’ll replace them when you get the actual working crossbow done and prepared. Understand?!”
“Yes, my lord! I’ll get on it right away!” The designer shouted, before rushing to his station. Mandolin took a deep breath of relief, all while the Conquistador couldn’t help but groan.
His only hope now was getting the snow powder to save him now.