As it turns out, I never in a thousand years would have guessed the contents of the next test. Upon arriving, I actually received some direction. It appears in another of those popups that I had seen in the void.

Mission Objective Received

Find the master of Fitridete, the Third Floating Castle of the Ankrutian Kingdom and seduce him so that his wife may enact the divorce proceedings and, through the local laws of the morality clause, she may depose him in favor of her son.

I was dumbfounded. I was actually struck dumb for a time at the audacity of the test. It was great to see the blue box say something different but, really? It wanted me to sleep with a dude for political sabotage? Would that make me an assassin or a hooker?

Needless to say I was pissed, who did this system think it was, no who did it think I was? I started to walk out of the closet I spawned in and remembered what the voice had said about some tests being forfeitable. ‘It would only take verbalization it had said, right?’ As I came to the decision that this whole scenario was scuffed to all hell, a series of trumpets went off in the next room. I was curious so I took a peek around the corner and changed my mind, probably nothing wrong with having a little fun and saving a territory.

The lord of the castle was introduced and walked to the center of his dais in view of all. He was a solid six foot two inches of eight percent body fat. With a chiseled jaw that could block a baseball swing cold and hair of golden thread he looked like he had hit the gym every day since he was five. I decided there may not be any harm in taking the floating text box up on its suggestion, at least a token effort, like the voice had said, quitting would negatively affect my tests. For progress of course.

Now, I’m a lady and a lady doesn’t kiss and tell so that’s all you get from me. No sordid details about flirty conversations over a glass of wine, or intense looks of passion, and certainly nothing to say about endless stamina or satisfaction. Nope, I went about my business securing the future of a nation until the test was done and the pull took me away.

“Wow!” The voice exclaimed. “You took that one on with such gusto, there’s the commitment. Not many have…”

‘Nope!’ I interrupted. ‘You will not be going any further with that line of conversation Mr. WhateverIcallyou. That test was insulting and bullshit. And why did I get a notification this time anyway’

The voice sent the sensation of zipping lips straight to my mind. “Fair enough, I understand you Earthlings can get a bit touchy about privacy, even though it is my job to witness and document the whole thing anyway. I’m your Beta Tester Administrator, your use of ‘the voice’ has been entertaining though, and I can see the practicality fading. Technically it doesn’t matter since I will know when you are referring to me by your thoughts. You can call me what you like. As far as the prompt, the other tests have been either straightforward or just an opportunity to collect data so you didn’t need one.”

I thought briefly before deciding that made sense. ‘Fair enough, guess that means I may or may not get another one. Missed opportunity to call it a quest though. Now for a name since I think I’ll be hearing more of you as I continue. If you’re an administrator, how about Trice? Like amministratrice, the Italian version.’

“Ooh, that sounds nice! Very pretty sounding.” The voice, or rather Trice, said with a giddiness to its voice. “Any questions before the next test?”

‘Am I going to die in the next one again?’ I thought in a deadpan tone.

“I don’t know. Let’s find out what’s next.” And that stupid tug pulled me into another stupid test before I could object.

And so, the tests continued. I quickly lost track of how many I was thrown into, though I will say that one with the orc army wasn’t even a contender for five worst. More than a few of them had me hunted like I was in some horror movie with a monster. Others had me some fantastical or sci-fi worlds, like that one test where I was a detective on a train that flew through the air on a cloud of lightning. Not sure if it was magnetism or just discharge but it reminded me of a mix between steampunk and the way the ships in The Matrix while I had to investigate a series of missing passengers. Turns out there was a war and members of both factions acting as spies were trying to get a secret memory stick with documents that could end the war, except the drive were fighting over just had a few recipes from someone’s grandma. Having seen Fullmetal Alchemist I thought there might be a code hidden inside but it looked like they had received bad intel which was pretty funny at the end of it.

I took Trice’s advice to heart and got in the flow of the tests. You’d be surprised how quickly you get used to something after a bit of time. I sped through test after test, I only had to beg for a break a few times after the rough ones. Trice was very accommodating, which I had thought was weird but then it had slipped and informed me, “Yeah these are to help you out. It’s only in your best interest to be prepared for whatever comes, sending you in as a husk would skew the results. Yours have been so good so far, why would I put my bonus in danger like that? Wait, you didn’t hear that!”

So, I learned that Trice had a stake in my success, and that somehow my unique results and experiences would lead to a boon for the both of us. It just made me feel bad for the people who couldn’t handle the tests enough to ask and were just thrown into the grinder, or those who didn’t have anything to hold onto a part of themselves. Trice informed me that such cases would sort themselves out soon enough and that they’d be a bad investment so they got the minimum number of tests and were pushed through the system.

‘Minimum number of tests?’ I had asked

“Oh yeah, we have a lot of freedom as admins to run the initiation tests, naturally the more you run the better the collection of data. We have a minimum to go through, any more up to the maximum we have created are up to us based on what we see. I recommend doing them all, and I in no way have a vested interest or personal bias in such course. If you’re worried about others getting a head start, don't bother. Time dilation remember? Your whole ‘generation’ of testers will arrive around the same time globally and the ones who rushed, or were rushed, will have a rough go. Besides, there are already very strong prior generations already on world, the world has been an ongoing project. You’ll want the best bet you can get so, next test!” Trice exposited a lot of concerning info before that scenario.

Shame my head was worried for that one, I was placed in what seemed to be a college auditorium in the middle of a lecture. I missed the entire first portion inside my own head and was lost for the second half. After two hours of the most boring lecture I had ever heard on the history of tax codes for some world, either alien or fantasy that I’d never heard of. I tried to retain as much as I could but almost fell asleep at least five times. When the lecture concluded the teacher announced a pop quiz and another text box appeared.

Quest Received

Take the pop quiz administered by Dr. Poplygorach and score at least 60%

I sighed in defeat; I had never cheated on a test before and didn’t want to start now, but I wasn’t seeing much choice if I didn’t want to fail the scenario. I did take note that the text of the prompt changed though, where it previously said ‘Mission Objective’ it now said ‘Quest’. It seemed my passing complaint was taken seriously and the system in charge acted appropriately. I wondered if that was something I might be able to use later.

After a moral dilemma I figured I should look at the test before deciding anything. I flipped the paper to be face up and saw only one question about how the teacher could improve his teaching and a note saying that a few of these were dropped in the pile of tests, if I remained quiet, I would get credit if he liked my answer. I giggled to myself and choosing to appreciate my luck and not assume this was the point of the test from that start, I went full force on this review. Apparently I hit the threshold as I was pulled out mid-sentence.

“How were you able to get so judgy in so little time? That was an essay you were writing.” Trice said in a teasing tone. “Still, good job not making up your mind on that one, it was a bit of a trick test.”

Finding myself caught in a friendly banter after the hundreds of tests and feedback I replied, ‘Oh don’t start with that now. You make a janky test, or a lecture no one is paying attention too, and you’re going to hear about it, especially if you ask for feedback. Good trick on the test though, almost got me there.’ After so many tests I had begun putting more stock into intent, both my own and that of the goal of the test. I wasn’t sure if the tests were designed to reorganize my thinking to prepare me for this new world but I was taking the opportunity to get used to the odd rules for this system.

I found myself getting closer to Trice as the tests continued. I began to worry about what will happen after the tests, I’d be losing another friend for a harsh and unknown reality. I felt a pang at the memory of Cyrus once more, it had felt like years since the last time I had thought about him, and I once more affirmed my convictions to save my family so they wouldn’t fall to the same fate.

It became clear that I was better at some tests than others. The puzzles were my favorite by far, there was one that revolved around spell circles. There was a series of circles coating an entire log cabin with a table in the main room. On that table was a series of five overlapping circles of spinning runes and lines in mesmerizing formations. Several circles around the room seemed to be connected to others while also in a synchronous orbit with others still. Initially looking at it made me dizzy and my head started to scratch at the base of my skull in the beginnings of a migraine.

No two circles were the same size or color, but when viewed from a distance, through the corner of my eye, or just out of focus they seemed so similar to the ones around them. The incongruity of each one forced me to look and take mental notes one at a time. With intense focus the details became clear and were easy to handle. As I approached the first so I might get started, the room activated. A hum grew in intensity and every step created faint ripples that swam through the room and changed some of the circles as it passed through, colors, sigils, and patterns; nothing was safe. The circles around me had a similar feel to those strands in my earlier test, which made me associate them with mana the more I thought about it.

I continued my observations for a while which proved to be my strongest tool in the tests. Each of the five main circles seemed to relate to the eastern five elements: fire, earth, air, water, and wood, though wood seemed to be more focused on life as a fundamental aspect. Each one had a similar feel to one of the strands that I had gotten intimately familiar with in the prior mana tests. By narrowing down their field of influence I was able to notice symbols shared and connections to other circles in the room. Thankfully there was a fully stocked pantry, as this was one of the tests where I actually had physical needs, so I could track my time here by my eating and sleeping cycle. I figured out that manipulation of the outer circles would interact with one of the main ones, which made me think of a combination lock.

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“Some of these ‘tests’ are feeling less like I am being examined and more like I’m in a tutorial.” I said to myself during one of my breaks. I had been in the cabin for about a week and got the water and most of the air circle unlocked. Some needed a flow of energy, others to understand runes and tap in a certain order, and the big ones seemed to need an act associated with its element, like spitting on the circle once all connected ones had been activated in the right sequence.

The final ruled I discovered was how certain rings would diminish each other when active, so a delicate balance was required. If an active water circle or rune touched one of fire, they would dim and even expired. The circles were movable with some care and intent, so they could be spaced out in the three dimensions of the room and have more to work with, the five in the middle had to rotate about each other in a delicate balance.

After a few weeks I had learned a lot. I only hoped that this knowledge might have some use in this new world, though given the difference between mechanics in the tests, at most I was hoping to be familiar with the broad strokes. The final spirit circle gave me the most trouble trying to think of an act that would satisfy the connection requirement. That was an element that I could see many people having low affinity with, it required empathy and compassion. I thought of my brother and how whether he might connect with the element. He was kind and saw the best in people, even if he didn't associate with them often.

“You’d love this magic shit Franco. I’ll get a head start so I can show it to you.”

At my absentminded words the circle glowed brighter. Then the other four joined and spun even faster. The whirlwind grew and knocked me on my ass before exploding in a radiant flash. My senses were so overwhelmed that they began bleeding into each other, I actually tasted the brightness. When I came back to myself, I was presented with the fruits of my labor. An intricate display of all elements in harmony played out before me. I could feel enlightenment pressing against my soul, as though I could become greater than everything and nothing at the same time if I just let it in. It was only for a moment and fled from me before I could answer the door.

Trice applauded my diligence and stubbornness once more after that and tried to give me similar tests when available. I still remember that one test where I was just placed in front a silent monk. There was no prompt or any indication as to what I should do. I was atop a mountain coated in cherry blossoms; a warm spring breeze blew through my hair carrying the delicate aroma. Behind the monk lay an ornate temple where his fellows presumably were, unless he was one of those monks in isolation aside from those seeking their wisdom.

A view down the mountain showed a scene of the renewal of spring, lush, green foliage was replacing stark and dry limbs. The warmth soaked my skin from the sun overhead, the horizon swirling in gorgeous hues of warm reds and yellows to remind me how far from home I was. With this reminder I looked on the animals and saw beings I could only have dreamed of. There were monkeys the size of squirrels with antlers on their heads and large, many-legged creatures that resembled the dragon costume from Chinese New Year festivals back home, with the tarp over a crew of people, and the head of bison. The bison creatures wound through the forest like a game of centipede, every so often they would dip their head to snatch some insect from the ground. The monkeys jumped from tree-to-tree collecting some leaves or fruit before jumping onto the backs of the bison to make a nest and eat lice or ticks from their backs.

Enraptured as I was by the scenery, I was equally homesick once more. The only familiarity I could see was the, presumably, human monk sitting nearby. He had yet to say anything or acknowledge me in any form. The situation reminded me of the first test in the field. Trice had said my tack, if you could call it that, would yield interesting results so I decided not to venture into the unknown where I may not be able to eat anything and instead, sit with the monk and enjoy the chance to take a break.

I found myself falling into a similar rhythm to the monk next to me. In and out in a gentle cadence, the tension I had been carrying eased from my muscles. I closed my eyes, a bit more comfortable in the dark than I ever thought I could be. I breathed and felt a true calm, focus on the felling within I thought I felt a stirring, a methodical beat. I focused on the feeling and a wave of warmth surged through me as I felt true calm. Time flew by without me realizing and a couple hours after I arrived, the monk finally spoke.

“The world is so busy around us, so much action and yet so little conflict. You seem active as well, are you also without conflict?” I heard the monk’s robes rubbing as he turned towards me. I refused to open my eyes, mostly out of stubbornness that he made me wait that long to acknowledge me and a bit to see where this would go. Who doesn’t need a little enlightenment in their lives?

I let his musing envelop my mind and fell into a rhythm as he guided the way. He led me down a path of review for my recent actions. I had been moving fairly rapidly, one test after another. Every time I was terrified of another shit scenario. There were more than a few where I was just placed in dire straits, the middle of a jungle or desert and a lone popup as warning.

Quest Received

Survive the hunt

This popup never helped me to understand what or who was hunting. I had assumed the first time that it had made me the hunter, I was wrong. After 4 hours trekking through some tropical jungle I heard a trumpet and a braying dog. At first I thought that it was a competition and that was my competitor but that delusion was quickly forced from my mind. A thunderous crack shook the air around me before the ground four feet from me erupted in a cloud of dust.

“Drat! Reginald my sight has been misaligned, release the hound to flush her out.”

“Right you are sir. Allow me to correct that for you right away, for now why not switch to the birdshot?”

“Excellent idea Reginald! See her run from that eh?”

Ice ran through my veins as I heard two voices through the brush, ‘Oh God! That was a gunshot wasn’t it? I don’t wanna die again. Please no.’ I thought to myself as my body refused to move. I was frozen, my eyes fixed on the small glob of lead within the hole. Fear gripped me once again as the memories of the orc chieftess returned to me. ‘Are these hunters the sporting or the torturous sort?’

I heard the dog getting closer. In a panic resembling that of a deer when confronted with a predator, I fled in a random direction. My legs moved on their own, unfortunately they had separate plans than each other and I found myself tripping on the nearby root. I collapsed to the ground in a tangle of my own limbs as the nearby bushes rustled and speeding thuds of paws in dirt got ever closer.

In my frantic attempts to untangle myself I finally got my legs underneath me when a form sprung from the nearby foliage. A dog exploded into view without any hesitation. It stood around two feet tall with black fur along its back and a white chest. Its yellow eyes locked onto me and it corrected its course. I turned to run as fast I could, I managed a solid step before the dog closed the distance. It latched itself onto my calf, teeth piercing my flesh easily and grasping mightily as it began to shake its head violently. I collapsed to the ground as a burning pain shot through my leg and I lost all control of the limb. Every thrash eliciting a new scream from my throat, giving away my position even more.

I searched around frantically for something, anything, to use against the dog. My hands finally landed on a rock the size of my fist in the dirt. I grasped the rock and raised it up into the air before crashing it down with all the might I could muster. The dog was thrashing about so much that I’d be more likely to hit myself than it if I aimed for its head, so I swung for a rib near its shoulder.

My aim, while not true, was good enough to make solid contact with the beast’s flesh. It yelped long enough for me to free my leg from its jaws without tearing my flesh. Having gained some distance, the dog began to circle around me, more wary of me than before. While maintaining eye contact in challenge, a lesson from Cesar Millan the Dog Whisperer, I was able to rise to my feet, or foot since only one was holding my weight. Every time I shifted my weight as though to flee, the dog would move to get in my way while still maintaining its distance.

I could hear the voices getting closer, “It sounds he’s cornered her. Reginald, remind me later to treat him to a nice reward.” The voice had an elderly tinge to it as though the speaker had been smoking a pipe for the last 30 years.

“Of course sir. Shall you be preferring the shotgun still or, with the chase mitigated, shall you be switching to your pistol?” The second voice, Reginald’s presumably, was very proper even in the extreme environment. His voice reeked of competence and my fear solidified further.

As I heard them approach I threw the rock at the dog to try and buy some time to flee. I watched the rock fly through the air and I watched the dog try to dodge. The rock missed its mark but was able to clip the dogs back leg and catch it by surprise. I pushed off as hard as I could with my good leg and limped with the other in a pitiful gait. Only a few seconds passed before the dog was back on my heel. I tripped on my bad leg at the sight as it jumped toward me to bite. A loud “Heel!” resounded from behind a nearby tree. An older man in an old style safari outfit straight from the 1920s. His face held some wrinkles and his white hair curled out from underneath his large, green fedora. He rounded the tree with an intimidating double barrel shotgun aimed toward me.

“I think you are quite done. With the birdshot you will not get very far at this range. It will only hurt a hell of a lot and that ruins the sport. I believe the hunt is done, have you any last words?” As he asked, the other man came up to him with a pistol offering. It was a classic revolver style and clearly well-maintained. The elderly man said, “Thank you Reginald.” As he traded the shotgun for the revolver.

Reginald merely nodded as he took the shotgun in hand. He was wearing an old British hunting jacket in plaid. He carried a large bag that he placed the shotgun into. It reminded me of an odd golf bag for weapons. I clutched the dirt in my hands, my mind racing for a way out of this. After a moment I realized that I was out of options and let out a disheartened sigh.

“Please just make it quick. It hurts a lot.”

“Right you are miss. I’d be happy to oblige”

He calmly raised the gun toward me. Tears welled in my eyes and obscured my vision before another loud rapport assaulted my ears and everything went black.

My eyes flashed open, my heart racing, to once more see the view of the valley with the bison and the monkeys. It had felt so real, as though I were back in the jungle once again. I could taste the humidity and dirt from when I fell. I looked at the monk who smiled serenely at me.

“You carry a heavy burden of experience. Let it guide you but do not let it control you. If it has such a hold on your mind then you must let go. Every memory has a message and a role, do not focus on one alone.” The monk said nothing else, he only nodded once with a gentle smile and sat in his resting position once more.

As he spoke, my hyperventilating slowly returned to a calm cycle. I had other experiences like those in these tests, in a city, hunted by beasts or monsters, even a cult in one of them. So far each had added a level of fear that slowed me down. I realized that the monk was right and that I needed to shift my view. I should take these tests as an opportunity, I have the experience of dying that no one else has. Sure it sucked in the moment but, I should be using the experiences to strengthen my will. I have seen the worst case scenarios, I have died. If I know the worst that could happen, then I can be prepared for anything. I can kick some serious ass and I should be able to keep a calm head.

As soon as I had this realization the world around me began to fade once more. I felt the tug in my chest as the void enveloped me and my body slowly disappeared. Trice made themselves known once more with congratulations and praise.

“That was awesome! You really took some lesson to heart back there didn’t you? Not sure what you saw but the readings speak for themselves. You’ve grown a lot during your scenarios, I am so proud and lucky to be your administrator! There is only one test left, do you have any questions or need some time to get in the right headspace? The system helped determine this test might be the most important for you so consider carefully.” Trice’s tone was deadly serious with a hint of a somber aspect to it.

I was a bit surprised at the tone in Trice’s voice, it almost had a hint of remorse or regret. Was Trice sad that the tests were coming to an end or just trying to let me know just how important this next one would be? Assuming the latter I thought, ‘Is there anything you can tell me about this next test? Anything I should be aware of before getting started?’ I didn’t want to waste my last opportunity to earn some sort of starting advantage.

“I had mentioned it a bit, but the last test is usually the most important. All the others are about collecting data on your physiology and mind for incorporation with the system afterwards, or about testing you as an individual for specific starting aspects. The last test is made by the system so I don’t know any specifics just that it will pin down the specific options from the list that was generated from all the prior tests. Some testers only do the minimum and end up with less tailored options, not that that’s wrong but the more tailored the results, the more unique a path you might follow which can give a leg up. Please take this seriously. For you, and for your family back home once the system makes its way to them, the better you do here, the better you and they get which will get you farther still.”

That was a lot of explanation from Trice which showed just how important it was. I know Trice’s view was skewed to get me surviving so that more credit and a higher bonus would head its way, but that still meant my success was in everyone’s best interest. With an imaginary inhale I sent a mental nod into the void and prepared for the last test as I felt the spiritual tug once more.