Congratulations!!!

You have been selected to participate in Beta Test: 21623811 of System V: 21546.25

Please wait while calibration is completed, you will be placed into your trials and tested for viability and optimal test path shortly.

Thank you for your cooperation and do your best!

‘What…the…fuck?’

It was quite literally everything I was, everything I could think and everything I could be. Just a floating concept of confusion in a void, the only thing not consisting of pure darkness was that damn screen. I don’t even know how much time had passed, it could have been days or weeks. I had enough time to cry my heart out for Cyrus, blame myself for his fate, rage against the light that I had thought would bring salvation but brought torture instead, and I had time to realize that it was Hell and I deserved to be there.

Hopefully that means Cyrus got to go to the other place, I doubt he racked up any vehicular manslaughters or was responsible for any tragedies. At least there was hope in that thought. I know people think the worst part of Hell is fire and pain, but it was definitely the isolation. To be truly alone without any stimulation at all. Truly the stuff of nightmares, and it had become my every waking second. I’d almost say I would be willing to sell my soul but who would want a damned soul anyway. Talk about lowering property values.

My soul had wept and my heart had raged until I had nothing left but despair … and truckloads of annoyance at that screen. Taunting me with its intractability. Nothing I did changed it at all. I couldn’t even get it to move to a different spot or change my view, given I technically didn’t have a view. Oh, did I forget to mention I couldn’t even feel my body. Pretty sure I didn’t have one so I couldn’t even pinch myself to test if I was dreaming, or feel something different at least. The most stimulation I got was switching my attention from void, screen, void, screen, void, and so on. I changed my mind about the loneliness, the worst part was the taunting that screen represented.

If my mind was all I had left, then my mind is what I would use. I went through memories, did math problems and tried to graph them in my head. I even resorted to making my own spoken word poetry! Eventually I was just scraping the bottom of the barrel, running out of new things to think of. How could this be getting even wors-

“Hi Talia! Thank you for waiting. I know it wasn’t actually that long, but thank you all the same. We have been dealing with longer than usual wait times this initiation. Your cooperation is very helpful and will help get everything sorted quickly so we can get you taken care of and on your way. To start do you have any questions?”

My ramblings in the dark were interrupted by a voice. It was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. ‘How did it do that? How did I hear that? Pretty sure I don’t have a body or sensory organs anymore.’ On one hand I was ecstatic at something happening, anything really, while on the other hand this had to be someone representing my new eternal home and they would likely be wanting to make things worse. The two options weighed themselves for a moment in my head before I decided it couldn’t get much worse, and I would be powerless to prevent it any way. I tried to respond and ask my question when I realized, I didn’t know how to speak here.

I tried talking, or at least trying to talk as best I remembered. I don’t care how fast this new voice said the wait went, it was long enough for me to lose it and as such I hadn’t tried using my old mouth for a long time. After a few attempts of hearing nothing and getting no response from the voce I tried thinking really hard. Like REALLY hard at it. Maybe this place was mental or like a soul place and just wanting to speak would do it. But nope, nothing there either.

“Wow! That is super handy. Most people are really confused or try to yell at us when they get initiated. But you are taking this whole thing in stride, honestly it is very refreshing. I don’t know if you have any customer service experience but soooooooooo many people think they know how to do my job better than I can. They don’t even have the slightest idea what is going on half the time but there they go with the whole, ‘You’ve made a mistake! I shouldn’t be here, send me back home!’ yada yada. But you, so strong and resolute with the quiet acceptance? You’re going to do great here.” The voice began to rant and complain.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

This went on for some time and all I could think was, ‘I don’t care, where am I and what is going on?’ Nothing I did seemed to get the being’s attention. Everything from thoughts, to words, to throwing imaginary tomatoes. I was in Hell, and this must be my demon to make it worse. But joke’s on them, it was still better than floating alone. It didn’t matter how chipper or annoying this voice was, at least it was some form of stimulation.

I tuned back in to hear the voice still droning on, “One of my friends was telling me about this one tester in particular that just gave up at one point. It was their last test, super important which made it extra messed up. I guess he was supposed to show critical thinking and adequate dexterity by placing blocks in matching holes. It was supposed to get faster and harder over multiple rounds but he just pressed them all into the square hole. Like every one for the whole first round. He actually scored so poorly and bugged his admin so much she called it there. He got such a low score that it definitely affected his overall grade and his placement.”

The voice was using me as a sounding board to unload all of their stress. And it was the most inane bullshit! I remember that video from the internet. It was pretty funny and if they couldn’t find humor in that then they’re boring. My opinion was rapidly changing and I was getting desperate for the voice to stop. I started ramming my head against the figurative wall and screaming in my thoughts. Praying that eventually they might get the message.

The voice continued, seemingly oblivious to my attempts at intervention, “And then there was this one guy who kept swearing at me! Like how is that appropriate at all? I even had to tell him that by policy if he didn’t keep those thoughts to himself I would have to mute him, pause his tests, and cycle him to the end of the line to cool off.” There was a fairly pregnant pause before the voice finally returned, “Hahaha so you’re going to think this is funny, because I think we know each other pretty well now, but that guy was right before you in line and, well, apparently when I muted him it was on my system, not his, and I never unmuted. Have you been saying anything?”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” was all the voice found in response on flipping the switch. They immediately turn it back off and waited a few moments before trying again, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” I continued without any actual indication they could hear me know.

The voice chimed back in, “Oh, it seems there’s an issue with your setup. All I‘m getting is some existential dread and a scream, I think. Yeah that’s not right. I’m going to keep you muted for a bit while I submit an IT ticket.”

At that point a new screen popped up in front of me. However I was not paying attention and it flew away so fast, all I could get from it was the words “ear piercing” and “I think she’s broken”. I realized that if they have an IT department and if it was worried I was broken, maybe they weren’t here to torture me further. I decided to pay a bit more attention to the voice, just in time too apparently.

“Well, while we wait for that to get taken care of,” the voice started in a voice that clearly seemed to be trying to change the subject, “why don’t I explain a little bit? You have been selected to be a part of the initiation for the 21623811st round of beta testing for the system version 21546.25. This is a very expansive update and we have encountered many bugs. That is where you come in, you will be placed in a new world run by this system and granted a skill that new initiates wouldn’t have access to normally.”

At this point I was a little confused. I mean there’s no way such an isekai trope could be real, but the voice rattled on, “You are encouraged to explore and try new things. Actually we encourage you to try and break the system. For every bug you submit you earn credit for your race, and usually a reward or two for you directly. You see, eventually your planet and people, and several others, will be integrated into the overall system of unified beings. This is a great honor and will propel your species into a new age. Where you come in as a beta tester, you will help us see any issues your race may have when being integrated as well as any issues you may have using the abilities and skills available. As I said, for every bug you find you will earn credits for your race that will make their transition easier and provide them more benefits.”

There was a brief pause allowing the gravity of the situation to weigh on Talia’s ethereal shoulders. Just as she started to wrap her mind around the concept and fearing the pressure, the voice dropped another bomb. “As for the short term, you will soon be run through a series of tests to determine your aptitudes and placement in the world of the beta test. There are no right or wrong answers here and we are just only trying to acclimate our records while matching you with a path that will both be successful for you and also encourage you to test your bounds. We have had great success in the past and look forward to analyzing your results, in the trials so far you humans have yielded the most varied results. It always seems to be entertaining, that said I do hope you take it seriously. The results of these tests will determine the rest of your life, and with magic and other paths, that could be thousands of years. So please do your best. Does that make sense to you? Let me unmute you again.”

If I had eyes they would be wide as saucers. Not only a test I was unprepared for, a student’s worst fear, but one that would determine the rest of my life. Wait did they say thousands? ‘Oh Jesus!’ The panic finally wore me down and all either I or the voice could hear was a renewed scream, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”