Okay now. I want you to start off real easy. Remember what you learned this morning. Yep. Look back when you’re backing up. That’s rule one. You have to look back when you’re backing up so you don’t run anything or anybody over. No, don’t apologize, just use it as a learning experience. That’s what this is all about. Don’t worry about it. Damn if it ain’t a nice day out!

Let’s go. Let’s ease out. Okay. Keep your hands at ten and two. Like this. Like on a clock. Yep. That’s right. There we go. Remember which pedal’s which. There we go. Doing good. See! Didn’t even come close to hitting the mailbox this time. Every time a little bit better. I’m telling you. This is the best way to learn. Throw you in the deep end. Exactly.

Let’s head on down to the end of the road here and turn right. Well, there’s not really a speed limit out here, but I like to not really go over ten miles per hour. You want to go slower on gravel than on pavement, because there’s always a risk of sliding or slinging stones. So take it real easy. There we go. Just keep her straight.

That was a rolling stop. That’s okay out here, but if you try that at a stop sign and a cop sees you, he’ll pull you over for sure. Yep, you want to come to a complete stop. That’s rule one. Nope, not that. That’s probably rule eight or none. Nope, rule one is never let a cop catch you doing anything illegal. That’s rule one.

Go to the end of this road here and turn left. She’s pretty quick. Look at that. Full stop. Good job. Now left. Okay, keep going to the end of this road here. Yep we’re going past the pool. We’re going over the levee. Okay, left at the pool. Ease on over. Okay. Keep your eyes on the road, Becky-girl. That pool isn’t going anywhere. I guarantee it.

Go on over the cattle gap. Ease on over. Yeah, it’s bumpy. It keeps the cows from crossing over. They try to walk over it and their legs fall through the bars. Keeps them on the outside. Some people call it a Texas gate. Yep. That’s right, it’s so you don’t have to get out of your truck to get through a fence. Naw, there ain’t nothing down there it’s just a hole. Keep on going.

This next part is going to be a little rough for you. Nobody likes going up and down the levee at first. Yeah, it can be scary. I was scared the first time I drove up the levee. All you’ve got to do is stay on the road and go slow. It ain’t as steep as it feels. Just keep going steady. We ain’t going to tip over. Don’t worry. Yeah. I’ve done it a thousand and one times.

You can do it. Okay. Ease on up. Follow the road. There we go. Nope, you’re good. You’re good. You’re good. You’re good. You’re getting there. You’re good. Keep on going. Stop squealing. Keep going. You’re good. There! Whoop! Keep on the road. Hold it up here for a second. Whew. No, that was good. That was real good. Only about tipped over three times. I’m kidding! I’m kidding!

Ok, now just like before. Ease on down the road. Stay up here. Keep your eyes on the road. Cross over that cattle gap up ahead and we’re going to veer to the right and down the levee. You’ll see where. Well, if someone comes we’ll just pull over as far over as we can and let them pass. I’ll keep my eyes on the edge on this side. I won’t let us roll over. Don’t worry. Ease on down the road.

Get on down the road, Becky-girl. Get on past the cattle gap. We won’t fall through. Come on. Huh? Do you have your foot on the brake? Hold on a second. Put her in park. Yeah. Okay. Put her in drive. Give her some gas. Huh. That’s weird. Put her back in park. Kill the engine. Okay, sit tight. Oof. That smarts. Hmm. Doesn’t feel hot. No knocking. Scoot over.

Hmmm. It’s doing something. Are we caught on something. Becky hop on out. Look under the truck for me. See if we’re hung up on something or dragging. Feels like the truck’s trying to go, but something’s holding it back. I don’t see anything either. Thought we might be trailing a fence. Okay, let’s try this. Hop back in the truck. Nope, you’re driving.

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Ok, throw her in reverse. Don’t run me over. Just try to keep her straight and go real slow. Don’t worry. I’m watching you like a hawk. Just get clear of where you were sitting. I don’t know what it might have been. I don’t know. Just weird. Everything looks good. Nothing on the road here. Oof. Oof. Oof. Dang ankle. Alright come on up again.

Okay, so it’s not the transmission. It’ll go. Here we go. Shit. Why is that happening? Give it some more gas! Give it all the gas! Put the pedal to the metal, Becky-girl! That’s a bit dangerous, but no need to tell her that. Son of a bitch. What the hell is going on here? That is weird. What am I not seeing here? This is really weird. Why won’t you go, old girl? What’s the holdup?

Hop on out. Something weird is going on. It’s almost like we’re running into something. You didn’t see nothing when you checked? Well I can’t get down there. Let me walk a ways down so I can see underneath. Stay here. Son of a bitch. Wanted to teach the girl so I wouldn’t have to do to much on my foot, now I got to march down the damn levee. Well, that’s just the way it goes, I guess.

I don’t know if I can maneuver over that cattle gap. Can’t see shit from here. I guess I can get down there on the ground and look under if I absolutely have to. I’ll need the girl’s help to get back up. Damn. I don’t get it. Maybe somebody buried a big magnet in the road and it’s grabbing hold of us. Might be some college kid shit. Huh?

What are you talking about? What’s wrong? Hey! Hey! What’s wrong!? Why? Why!? What!? Whoa! Shit! Hold on, girl! Jesus. I’m coming. Shit. Shit. Shit. God. Damn. Foot. What’s wrong! Hey? Are you okay? Shit! Fuck! Is she breathing? Sweet Jesus. Come on. Becky. Hey! Hey Becky! Come on girl! I can’t carry you. Shit!

Come on! Let’s go! Up we go. Come on. Okay, Becky-girl. Watch your head. There you go! Hold on. There we go. There we go. Okay. Shit. Come on. Come on. Let’s go. Stay with me Becky. Come on. What the fuck is going on here? Jesus. Did she get too hot? What the hell? Okay, stay with me. We’re going to do your favorite thing here. We’re backing up all the way down. Let’s go!

I’m driving down the road and I’m flirting with disaster! Come on, Becky. Becky! Can you hear me? Becky? Sweet Jesus. You okay? Jesus, girl. You about gave me a heart attack. You’re grandma would skin me alive if I let anything happen to you. Jesus. You fell right out. You started screaming and carrying on and then you fell right out. I don’t know. Do you feel alright?

What do you mean? Why? I don’t get it. Why, though? I’m going to take you home anyway. Something is wrong here. She’s talking nonsense. I think she had a heat stroke, except it ain’t even hot. Shit what if this is some kind of teenager brain thing that’s happening? Shit. No, no, you’re right. We’re going home. I’ll drive. We’re going to back all the way up.

Nope, we’re not going down the way we came up. We’re going the other way. Here. If I keep backing up, I can… see? Throw her in drive and go straight down. And it’s not as bad going down as it is coming up see? You’ll see next time you drive. We’ll figure out what went wrong and hit it again tomorrow. Don’t you fret.

Jesus. She seems okay now. What the hell was that all about? What went on back there? Do you think that was all just an act? Was she scared of driving on the levee? But how would she have stopped the truck? That can’t be it. What was it though? I don’t get it. Could a giant magnet pull a truck to a stop and make a girl start acting crazy? What the hell’s going on here?

Okay, over the cattle gap again. That’s what she was screaming about. That cattle gap. I don’t get it. Who would put a giant magnet in the levee? Do you think it was that damn Grimmett boy? Was that some kind of fancy college art thing? Was he filming all that? I don’t think so. He’s odd, but he ain’t a bad kid. He just likes to smoke grass and make scary statues. He’s not trouble.

Could it have been the government? Shit, Jud. What are you even thinking? You don’t even know if it was a magnet or not. You sound like Hershel. Don’t be a damn fool. You don’t know what it was. You’ll figure it out. Let’s get this girl home. Okay. How you holding up, Becky-girl? Yeah? That’s good. You want some ice cream or something from the bait shop? My treat?

Okay then. I was going to have us run over to Benoit to see if anybody had some Key lime pie for Jean. Well shit. There goes that plan. Maybe I should have taken Becky to the doctor or something? She seems okay now. I’ll ask Jean. Maybe she’ll know. Falling out like that might just be a teenage girl thing. I don’t know. I don’t think so, though. I don’t know. Something ain’t right.