Mississippi is terrible. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! It’s so fucking boring! I am literally sitting here in the woods with nothing to do. There’s no Internet, there’s no cell signal, there’s nothing. I’m going to go crazy here. I know I am. God. My stupid parents. What do they think is going to happen? Do they think Granny Jean is going to do what? What is she going to do? She lives out here in the woods with her fucking boyfriend. She’s an old lady and she’s not even married. What is that supposed to teach me? That you can just fuck off into the country with whatever dirty old hillbilly? That’s awful.

I wish Granny Jean had moved to a city. Why did she have to move out here to this damn country “Outing Club” or whatever? Why couldn’t she bring her hick boyfriend up to us? Why did she move down here? The people here are so fucking dumb. Like, there’s cities and stuff? Why don’t they just move to Atlanta, at least? That’s close, I think? I asked Granny Jean and she said people like the peace and quiet. Well fuck that! There’s nothing to do out here! God help me I’m going to kill myself.

God I miss Jodi. God I miss Lindsey. I wish I could check Tumblr. God!

There’s this weird guy that lives next door to us. His house is a plane. Like an airplane. It doesn’t have any wings, but it’s obviously an airplane. I wonder how they got it out here? Like maybe it crashed and they just left it here and built a house out of it? I asked Granny Jean when we pulled up to the house the first time. She said it’d always been there, the plane house. Whatever! That doesn’t make sense. Whatever.

Anyway there’s this weird guy that lives in the plane house next door. He’s like an artist or something? He builds these weird statues? Like out of metal? They’re pretty cool I guess but he’s pretty weird. He smokes clove cigarettes like that makes him cool. We haven’t smoked cloves in like years, so…. Whatever. He’s old. Like everybody vapes now?

Anyway.

I don’t know why my stupid mom and my stupid dad sent me down here. I love Granny Jean, but I don’t know why they wanted me to spend the whole summer with her and her stupid boyfriend down in fucking Mississippi of all places. God! Even the fucking drive down here! All these fun mountains and hills and then you get to Tennessee and it’s a flat nothing all the rest of the way. When I saw that stupid “Welcome to Mississippi!” sign I thought I was going to die! Dammit Granny Jean! Why did you have to fall in love with some hillbilly? Like, why couldn’t she fall in love with one of the big boating club guys back home? Their boats are bigger. Jud’s boat is stupid. Like it barely has any room to even walk around on. It doesn’t even look like a real boat. He’s says it’s a “pontoon boat” or whatever. Whatever!

God!

I miss Jodi. I want to talk to him so bad. I’ve been trying to get him to text me, but he’s so shit at texting. How is that possible? Just fucking respond to my fucking texts, Jodi! Dammit. He’s always been like that. He always responds with like a “Cool,” or an “OK,” or “LOL”! Put some fucking effort into it! Like, it’s me, Jodi! I’m not one of your idiot friend. I’m your fucking girlfriend, so put some effort into your fucking texts! God!

But like I can’t be mad, because I’m not even sure he’s getting my texts at all because I’m out here in the fucking woods! Lindsey hasn’t been responding to my texts at all. God please Lindsey. I need to talk to you so bad. Everyone here is so weird. They all wear camouflage and they all drive trucks. Like all of them. Even the women. It’s so weird. Like the women wear pink camouflage. What?!

Granny Jean’s boyfriend Jud said he was going to take me hunting. Like whatever. Like I’d ever try to shoot an animal. That’s awful. Granny Jean said we’d go into town and go shopping, but I saw the town while we were driving in, and there is literally nothing there. All I saw were a bunch of old worn out houses. That’s Benoit. But they don’t pronounce it right. They say it like it’s Benoyt. Even Granny Jean says it like that. It’s so ignorant.

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Maybe she’s talking about a different town? Like Mississippi has a capital? I bet that’s nicer. How far away is that? I’d like to go there and see what they have. I bet they’ve got like at least a mall or something. Maybe a strip mall?

God I am so bored!

The guy next door, in the plane house, his name is Jon. He’s like a pedophile I think? Or whatever the word is for older guys who like teenagers? I’ve caught him looking at me at the pool, and I’m like, as if! He’s like thirty! Gross.

The good thing about Granny Jean’s boyfriend Jud is that he’s not a perv. He looks at me like I’m a boy or something. I’ve even tried to get his attention a couple times just to make sure he’s not all pervy. I can walk around the house in a bikini or in my underwear and he just looks at me like he’s confused. Like he’s not used to having a teenager around he doesn’t know what to say to me? I think that Granny Jean walks around in her underwear a lot when I’m not here, and maybe he’s used to it? Which is gross, but whatever. At least he’s not a perv.

I was worried that when I went to swim at the pool here at the “Outing Club” that someone would perv out on me. And like, this Jon guy from next door, he’s looked at me, but he hasn’t said anything or anything like that. There’s this cool lifeguard girl at the pool, and I think she’s kind of straightened out the normal perv problem. She says her name is Pocahontas, but I don’t think that’s her real name, even though she looks like an Indian. Or a Native American, I mean. She’s pretty cool. She told me she’s going to college to get her Nursing degree. She’s pretty cool.

You know what I want to do? I want to find an old fashioned land line phone and call Jodi. He’ll be able to hear me and I’ll be able to hear him and we can talk finally. Or I’ll call Lindsey! I’ve got so much to tell her. I’ve only been here for a week, but it feels like I’ve been here for years. I want to tell her about Granny Jean. She has this garden in the front yard and she got a tattoo! What!? I don’t think my parents even know about Granny Jean’s tattoo. It’s a tramp stamp! I don’t think they would have sent me down here if they knew about her tramp stamp! It’s like a heart with swirly things around it. Like a heart with wings? Like a tribal tattoo like older guys like to get? Jud has that kind of tattoo on his arms.

Oh my God do you think that’s some kind of sex thing for Granny Jean and Jud? Oh my God! On the one hand, yay Granny Jean you do you, but on the other hand, GROSS GROSS GROSS! I don’t ever want to think about Granny Jean fucking, and Jud? He’s like a raisin man. Gross!

O God Lindsey I’m going to find a phone and call you. I think they’ve got to have one at the pool, right? It’s like the law? Or maybe at that restaurant there next to the lake? Someone’s bound to have a phone here somewhere. I’m going to call Lindsey, God, maybe tomorrow. I’ll ask Pocahontas when I go to the pool tomorrow. I’ll ask the guy at the bait shop and I’ll ask the lady at the restaurant. Somebody’ bound to have a phone.

You know what? Maybe my cell phone plan doesn’t work very well in Mississippi? Maybe it’s like an Ohio only plan and it’s barely getting any signal at all down here? That might be it. I’ll ask Granny Jean? I haven’t heard her complain about her cell phone signal at all. Maybe I can talk her into adding me onto her plan for while I’m down here.

Then I can talk to Jodi.

Fucking Jodi! It’s his fault I’m down here. I told him I wanted to use a condom, but no! He didn’t want to. And even though I wasn’t pregnant my stupid parents freak the fuck out and have to send me to stay with Granny Jean in stupid Mississippi. God!

God Jodi. If I asked him do you think he’d come down here to see me? He’s got his summer job up at the park, but I bet he’d come see me. I’d love it If he’d just come down here and show up outside my window one night.

God damn it! Why do my stupid parents want me to stay down here all summer? Why can’t I be at home? Why can’t I hang out with my friend and Jodi? I would have even gotten a summer job if they’d wanted me to. I could work at Starbucks! I’m only going to be sixteen one time, and that means I’m only going to have one summer when I’m sixteen years old, and instead of spending that one special summer at home with my friends I have to spend it here alone in fucking damn Mississippi in the middle of the fucking woods with my grandmother and her fucking stupid hillbilly boyfriend in this fucking stupid Outing Club.

I hate my life. Somebody save me. Please.