I explained this all before...
Pawn Military companies move forward one and attack diagonally, cause they suck.
Model sevens move in an L shape and take over any piece they capture, except samurai
Skyscrapers increase movement and attack by one square but don't move because, you know, they're buildings.
And samurai move anywhere and kill anything except for hives and other samurai in a single shot...
Whats so hard about that?
-Isabelle Claire explaining V.7.563 of chessers
There was no solution to the problem in front of her that would not end up with someone dead. It was truly a conundrum that was vexing poor Cassy to no end. “But no matter what piece I move, you are going to end up killing them… I hate chess.” She pouted.
The elegant woman sitting across the chessboard in the park from Cassy, let out a throaty good natured laugh. “Oh my dear, that’s the way of life isn’t it? We can’t save everyone, sacrifices must be made to move forward, no?”
“I refuse to sacrifice my friends!” Cassy crowed as she plucked her pawn off the board. “This is Tim, he’s just a young man, with hopes and dreams. He curls with his high school buddies every weekend. He’s got his eyes set on someone special, he’s thinking of asking them out. I can’t sacrifice him! He’s got so much to live for!”
As Cassy set down the pawn and reached for another piece, the woman across from her reached out and lightly touched her hand, a gentle smile still on her face, and laughter in her voice. “Perhaps chess is not the game for you.”
“But, I promised I’d play a game with you. You won our wager fare and square. You manage to raise more funds than me, I play a game of your choice, and you chose chess. These pieces are just so cute though! How can you bear to hurt them?” Cassy replied, a mix of emotions warring on her face.
The woman sat in thoughtful silence for a brief moment, trying to compare the sweet innocence in front of her with the stalwart general of clowny chaos she’d just fought a horde beside. “Hmmm, you are right, and promises should be kept. Here, let's try this. We’ll reset the board and set some different rules ok?”
“Ok, no more sacrifices though.”
“I promise, no more sacrifices. We’ll just let them go play in the ball pit when their roles are done in the game” She replied gently as the beautifully hand crafted chess pieces reset themselves at her whim.
“Oooh, I should totally incorporate a ball pit into my act, how about we…”
*****
Slightly over 24 hours previously.
They weren’t going to be able to hold out. The Mistress of Games looked around the battlefield, her few allies still standing, and the unceasing horde before them.
When she’d been sent with a handful of rookies to the area north of Saskatoon in the Canadian prairies to handle a small hive, none of her predictions showed any possibility of a disaster such as this. Two hives had already been taken care of in the area in the last week, it was supposed to be a babysitting job, getting some fresh faces a bit of experience and helping them narrow down a role or specialisation.
The antithesis it seemed had been playing their own sort of game. The two hives previously taken out were either decoys, or were completely unrelated to the mess she had found.
Saskatchewan was flat, she’d heard the jokes about her home province since she was a child. It held true for the most part, but even this flat place held its share of secrets, small clusters of hills sheltering hidden groves and trees, and valleys carved into the bedrock by aeons of flowing rivers. It was in the latter they had found the first traces of the infestation that was currently bearing down on them.
Two of her 5 charges were already on their way back to the city, having received injuries they lacked the ability to heal rapidly in the field with their current catalogues. MoG had spared the funds for a pair of Bishops with stasis chambers to carry them to safety.
The rest of her current forces were doing what they could to help the three remaining youngsters hold the line. Knights, rooks, and pawns all pushed to their limits in the absence of her heavy hitting king and queen, that she’d sent to help with another problem down below the border. She’d left all her other game sets at home, tucked neatly away. Her chess set, even missing a pair of pieces, should have been enough.
The Mistress of Games cursed her lack of foresight, she usually played better than this. As much as she hated relying on esoteric things like luck and hope, they were all she had left. Her distress call had been answered, help was on the way. A thin thread, but one she clung to nonetheless.
*****
“I know you can go fast Bike, you are the best bike in the world! But we need to get there faster than your poor wheels can manage.” A bit of Bike’s shine seemed to fade as Cassy patted its handlebars softly. “Once we get there though, I’m sure there will be lots for you to do. It’s a distress call after all, there will be all sorts of things that need done.”
We are going to have to dip into the moon-shoe budget a bit, but I do have something we can pick up to get us there faster, it can even carry Bike attached below.
“I trust your judgement, tour manager Barty, show me our new transport!”
The parking lot in front of Cassy glowed with a rainbow of light, sparkling confetti bursting high into the sky accompanied by a cacophony of kazoos. As the lights faded and the confetti fluttered to the ground, revealed in front of Cassy was a very large, multi hued, crystal faced watch. The band stretched out to the sides and curled under to hold it high enough for Bike to drive under.
May I present to you, oh queen among clowns, Time Flies! It can get you anywhere you want to go, within the earth's atmosphere. Interstellar travel mode is, as yet, beyond our purchasing power.
“She’s amazing Barty! I’m in awe. Are they a she? I’d hate to get off on the wrong foot with a misgender right away…”
The rounded crystal top of Time Flies flashed through a rainbow of colours, as she trilled cheerily.
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Time Flies says, yes, she is a lovely lady, and is ready to fly. She also says, time is of the essence, we should really be on our way.
“Right, she is Barty. Bike, get clipped in, we’ve got colleagues to save!” With a click of her heels to add a bit of spring to her step, Cassy crouched, and jumped up high, landing on the top of her new flying watch. She sank rapidly through the crystal canopy and plopped firmly into an overstuffed bean bag chair that wrapped itself cosily around her.
“To somewhere in Saskatchewen Time Flies! Away we go!”
Time Flies trilled with determination, curling her bands under her, and pushing off to launch into the air. A soft shimmering bubble enveloped Bike as it was held firmly to her underside. Spreading her wrist band out like a pair of wings she surged forward, leaving a trail of drifting soap bubbles in her wake across the skies.
The ground blurred beneath them as they streaked cross country. “Alright Barty, are we topped up on fundraising supplies? Oooh! Is Time Flies, hmmmm I’ll call her TF for short. Is that ok TF?” The flying watch trilled happily and wobbled her wings in the affirmative.
“Right, TF; Are you more of a strafe the enemy with sugar shells sorta girl, or a drop big ol’ jaw-breakers from up high kinda girl?”
In response to her query an old fashioned black and white highly curved tv screen folded out of the floor by her feet. It flickered to life and a cartoon reminiscent of a rat in a steamboat began to play. It showed a grinning clown sitting happily in a smiling watch flying through giggling clouds.
The scene shifted to show adorable renditions of the Samurai, and cutesy versions of antithesis locked in battle. As they neared, a stream of bubbles bobbled forth from TF’s front facing winder, while larger ones dropped from below her. When they hit the battlefield they wrapped around individual enemies, pulling them to float just above the heads of the swarm, spinning in place, as it spun the antithesis grew a beard, and was given glasses, and then a cane, before X’s covered it’s eyes and it fell over to become a grave with a cross.
One larger bubble floated down to wrap itself around a samurai with bandages around their head. Cartoon ice covered their body, freezing them, as the bubble wobbled back from the lines, toward a tent with a cross on its roof with a clown dressed in doctors scrubs waiting nearby.
“Barty, did you give TF time powers? Of course you did. You’re the best AI a girl could get stuck into her head, ever! And TF, you are perfect! You’ll be able to keep all the ice cream at the perfect temperature!”
She doesn’t just keep things cold, she temporarily slows time in the bubbles to almost nothing, she can keep all your favourite hot treats as if they were fresh out of the fryer too!
Approaching designated fundraising partners in distress. Mistress of Games’ AI is sending a message through. She would like to offer a wager, whoever gets fewer points has to play a game of the winners choosing with them.
“Hmmmm, I don’t usually like gambling, that’s why all my carnival games are free, and you can have the prizes just by asking. Buuuut, playing a game with someone who loves games that much… Tell her I’m in. It’s win win anyway! I can’t imagine a game I wouldn’t enjoy playing.”
“Bike, Barty, Trashy, Sgt. Fluffles, Balloon’s animal and boney alike, prepare for full scale fundraising! Take us in Time Flies, let's save some new friends!
***
Mistress of Games had received an affirmative response on her wager from the incoming Samurai. Carrys, her AI, had not told her who the responding Samurai was, insisting she try to guess, two more little games to keep her mind focused. Life wasn’t a game, and the stakes were often high enough just making it day to day, but she could never resist adding just a little more to those stakes.
She heard something on the wind, coming from the far side of the seething swarm. It sounded like it might be The Ride of the Valkyries, but what were those instruments? “Carrys I can’t quite pin down what that sound is? Some sort of battle music?”
Indeed Mistress, that would be a custom composition of The Ride of the Valkyries. Using primarily xylophones and kazoos. Which means by the way, as you have failed to guess who is coming before their arrival, that I have won our wager.
“Yes, fine, you win. I will add twister to my game chest. In fact, we might as well bring it out now. As much as I hate mixing games together, I would rather that, than lose a second wager in one day. Have the youngsters pull back, no telling how good our new friend is at avoiding friendly fire.”
Oh, I’m fairly certain this young lady tries to keep everything in her life as friendly as possible.
The music had grown in volume, to almost deafening levels. As it reached the crescendo a massive flying watch appeared as if from inside the sun. It strafed the enemy from their rear lines to where they met MoG’s own forces. Leaving clusters of floating bubbles full of withering antithesis.
As it flew, the crystal top beaded and bubbled like caramel in a hot pan, the little globules then burst from the top to rain down like so much popcorn into the horde. Each blob burst to release a different group of carnival madness. Squads of balloon animals that hugged and clung like glue, balloon skeletons wielding steaming paint brushes with caustic paint. Great gobs of whipped cream cascaded across the field, mixing with bursts of deadly confetti, and clouds of stinging glitter.
Giant plastic lapel flowers burst from the ground. They sprayed smoking chemicals, or hardening rainbow strings into their surroundings. Tin toy soldiers swarmed and stabbed with tiny bayonets. There were more, other things lost in the chaos of the single pass, but the beleaguered Samurai were distracted as a riot of colour stood up from inside the strange flying time piece.
Cassy the Clown leapt high in the air, allowing Time Flies to pass beneath her, as she let go of Bike’s bubble from below. As Cassy began to fall back down a grinning googly eyed black plastic bag burst from behind her, silly string forming a harness so Trashy could act as her parachute.
Bike, landed not far from MoG with a bobble, as his bubble burst, Cassy landing neatly on his seat a moment later. The string harness dissolved as Trashy the Bag charged eagerly into the fray.
“I heard you needed a hand? I’ve got a few dozen if you like, some even come with joy buzzers.” Cassy spoke with enthusiasm, and ended with an exaggerated conspiratorial wink. She pulled two plastic forearms with gloved hands from Bike’s basket, one of which did have a brass joy buzzer in its palm.
Mistress of Games cleared her throat, adjusting to the surprising nature of Cassy’s arrival. “A wonderful display Ms. Er, Clown. Now allow me to join the game. Carrys if you would, stratagem TC08 please.”
King's Knight right hand Red, confirmed.
Two rows of 16 large silver boxes appeared in front of the Mistress, they opened with a hiss of steam to reveal a full set of chess pieces. Unlike the others on the field, these stood on two legs, with a buff arm coming from each side. Each palm and sole with a red, blue or yellow dot in their centre.
“This is why I hate mixing games, everything always ends up ridiculous.” With a sigh, she ordered her troops forward, determined to not lose a second wager in one day, She saw motion to her left and instinctively turned.
Her three young charges were drifting past, encapsulated in large iridescent bubbles. Each was stock still, looking like they’d been running from something in terror. They slowly spun inside the bubbles carrying them to safety.
“Charge!” Two voices called out together. One woman watched as her preposterous pieces rushed into battle. The other put shiny shoes to pedals and rode her friend Bike along side them. Classical music played by children's instruments rising to echo off the valleys walls.
***
“Pawn to right hand kings red!” Cassy’s voice cried loudly.
The two women were contorted together on a familiar white game mat with coloured circles. Superimposed over and around them was a holographic chess board. As Mistress moved her right hand from a yellow circle to red, one of her pawns moved on the board.
“This is all your fault Carrys” She subvocalized to her AI. “I forbid you from conspiring against me with other Protectorate AI ever again”
Oh shush, your brain chemistry is calling you a liar. You are having fun.
MoG grumbled under her breath at her companion before continuing the game. “Blue foot Knight to Queen's Yellow”
Cassy stretched her leg, pointing her oversized shoe, to reach out and try to intercept the blue polka dot knight hologram, strain evident on her face. With a giggling gasp her hand slipped out from under her and she collapsed into a heap, bringing the Mistress of Games down with her.
“I win again.” Said the Mistress of Games, trying to hide her broad grin from the laughing woman laying next to her in the park.