"Nyx! Spooky just did an inventory and told me half a dozen bears and squirrels are missing. How is that possible?"
“They're not missing, I know exactly where they are.”
“And that is…”
“They ran away to join the circus.”
“If you're not going to take this seriously I'll just find them myself.”
Conversation “overheard” by Issi.
*****
Tin toy Tom was in over his little metal head. It had started off so simply, and so innocently. On some forgotten battlefield, when he was a shiny new tin toy soldier in the great circus of the amazing Cassy, the most stupendous clown to ever clown.
Tin toy Tom had found a broken member of another Samurai’s fundraising team. Something called a tripod 50mm autocannon. One of its legs was broken, and its shiny barrel was bent. It was hurting, and sad, and alone’ its master had left it for scrap, deeming it useless.
This just wouldn't do! Cassy never left anyone that could be saved behind! That's not what family did, and the circus was the best family ever!
Tom had sent out the call to the family, tin and rubber alike, together they had fixed up the auto cannon as best they could. The bent metal leg was replaced with a much nicer, and bouncier, balloon leg. The crew didn't have access to the ammunition that the broken barrel was designed for, so it was removed, and a new much brighter one was fabricated from empty cans of whipped cream and silly string, which also became its new ammunition.
Happy with their work, the crew of tin toys and toddling balloons had given the turret one last hug and toddled off, thinking they would never see it again.
They were wrong.
***
Later that day, the incursion was still going strong. Tin Toy Tom and his platoon were hard pressed, holding the line atop a candy floss rampart. If the brussel sprout baddies made it past them, it was barely a few blocks to the entrance of a badly built corpo sponsored shelter. Each and every tin toy and bouncy balloon knew that human lives depended on them, they shared nods to one another, their painted on smiles, and googly eyes, managed to pass along so much more.
“It’s been an honour to shred lettuce beside you.”
“Tin never gives in!”
“Balloons always bounce back!”
“For Bike!”
“For Trashy!”
“FOR CASSY!”
As Tom’s platoon readied themselves to join the carnival in the sky, the ground shook, and the air shuddered with a wumph; once, twice, three times. Familiar Clown branded canisters crashed upon the herbaceous horde, exploding in great waves of alabaster whipped cream, and writhing nets of rainbow hued sticky silly string.
In the shocked silence that followed, a new sound was heard, coming from the left flank. “Thump, thump, boing, thump, thump, boing” The 50mm Auto cannon came skidding around a corner, barely managing to stop its slide into a nearby store front, before gambolling eagerly toward the candy floss rampart.
“5mac! You’re a lifesaver!” Tin Toy Tom called out cheerfully. “Back to work soldiers! Somebody get 5mac some more ammo, we’ve got funds to raise!”
The newly dubbed 5mac wagged their rear leg, much like the tail of an excited puppy, and planted himself firmly to restart the barrage. Tin toys and members of the balloon crew scrambled up his sides, and hopped to, with renewed vigour to fight and keep smiles safe.
***
When the incursion ended, 5mac was not the only new recruit to the carnival. A few other smaller turrets, each with their own ad-hoc circus style repairs had joined him. Along with a smattering of nearly scuttled scout drones another samurai had left behind.
Barty dubbed them “The Menagerie” and put Tin Toy Tom and his platoon in charge of them. Tom thought it a bit overkill, giving such a small group of unique recruits so much consideration, they were just allies helping each other out, it wasn’t like there were hundreds of them or anything.
***
In the coming months Tom realised Barty was much smarter, and far better at predicting the future than he was. Everywhere they went, every incursion entered, every call for help answered, every carnival thrown, and even the simple social calls Cassy loved to make, saw The Menagerie grow and grow.
Some were like 5mac, broken and discarded minds and machines that the carnival repaired in the field, others wandered in of their own accord, filled with a new buzz of joy, and desire to live new lives, and spread happiness around the world.
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
In Toronto, they picked up a baker's dozen of walking bombs. The battle had ended before they could fulfil their purpose, to run at the plants and sacrifice their lives, like batch after batch of their brethren had done. Left abandoned, with their purpose gone, they joined the menagerie, craving something more.
Their new friends helped them become more than disposable death. Shrapnel shells were replaced with mirrors and prisms, detonation circuits with bright lights that shone through, high explosives were replaced with highly compressed glitter. Now when they exploded it was to dazzle and delight the masses, or sew confusion and chaos among the enemy.
When passing through the honeyed fields of Wisconsin, they had a brush with the great samurai queen of bees, Bee-Dazzler. She and Cassy had traded tips on sweeteners, and the best way to light a stage. In their distraction, both failed to notice a happy queen building a nest in 5mac’s oversized ammo box.
5mac was overjoyed at becoming a co-parent to a swarm of sparkling honey makers that doubled as close range support. Not to mention the new honeycomb shells, and sticky honey coated rounds that were added to his repertoire. Mostly though, it was Ammo-Bee-Queen’s companionship that brought the simple cannon joy.
While Cassy played holographic twister chess with Mistress of Games in Humboldt Saskatchewan, half of a chess set, 5 red checkers, and a couple, consisting of a cuddly snake and a wooden ladder, slipped in among them. The entire menagerie worked on new game ideas for them all to play together, Issi was consulted frequently.
After a chaotic day with Issi in Calgary, several of Teddy’s bears, and a cluster of squirrels snuck off to join the circus, wyth Nyx’s permission of course. Teddy’s brigade were loyal to a fault, but when the Clown calls to you deep down inside, you just have to listen. One particularly inventive squirrel even built a cosy nest in a corner of Time Flies round cockpit, that Cassy has yet to notice.
Cats from Quebec.
Potato vending machines from L.A.
A swarm of moths from Vancouver.
Mobile smart tents from Hamburg.
Hard light dancing holograms from Brazil.
A massive blue mechanical bull from somewhere in the middle of what was the USA.
A never ending multitude of weapons built for extermination and war, still willing and eager to fight the good fight, and keep the world safe, but who wanted just a little more from life. Mobile weapons platforms that thought, maybe I can spread more than death and destruction, maybe I could ignite a little spark of joy in people too. Not just saving their lives, but helping make their lives a bit more worth living.
Tin Toy Tom’s little act of mechanical kindness had taken root, and refused to stop growing. Who knew a little kindness could cause such wonderful problems?
***
Tom slumped down on to his cold metal bottom atop 5mac’s turret, he peered out a bit forlornly at the hodge podge horde surrounding them. “5mac, I think I’m in over my tinny head. This is too much! How is one tin toy supposed to keep this from spiralling out of control? Or more out of control I guess… Did you see that big walking robot? A Goodam, or something? It flew itself here from Japan! We’ve never even been to Japan!”
5mac squeaked his new rubber bone barrel in commiseration, and tried to make comforting sounds with the panflute of kazoo’s stuck with honey to his exhaust port.
“I know buddy, we couldn’t stop it if we wanted to, and Cassy knows I would never want to. Gotta spread the joy, can’t limit it because it’s too much for us to handle. But we’re so big, and so slow! The main stage moves so quick, we just can’t keep up. I know TF, bless her ticking heart, tries not to outpace us, but she can’t risk being late either…”
As Tom spoke, a very large mechanical bee had landed in front of him and began dancing. “OH, hey Queeny. What brings you out here? What’s got you so excited? You gotta slow down, I’m a bit rusty at translating bee-anese waltz.”
Queeny hung her wings in exasperation, waggling her antennae with disappointment. She repeated her dance, slower, and with fewer steps.
Tom watched her closely, straining his painted on eyes, and scratching his tin hat. “Barty, can you give me a hand here? Bee-anese waltzing makes me dizzy.”
One of Drone Drone’s drones, that had been following since the fridge incident, flew down to hover nearby, Barty’s voice chimed from a speaker stuck to the drone with silly string. “Hmmmmm, I think, what she’s trying to say is “When a hive gets too big, it makes more queens, and they split the hive. Also something about different types of bees… workers work, soldiers fight, queens look fabulous”
“Oooooh, now I get it! Not all of us should try to keep up with Cassy. Maybe some of us, those not suited for chasing after our amazing leader, could split off and start a separate hive, er, carnival! That’s an amazing idea Queeny. You’re the best bee ever!”
Queeny danced happily, and allowed Tin Toy Tom to give her a gentle scritch behind her antennae.
“Signal a full stop 5mac, and convene the Misfit Menagerie Moot, we’ve got decisions to think about”
5mac tilted back his turret, Tom just managing to grasp hold and not slide off, and whumphed 2 firework rounds into the sky. The mass around them ground to a halt, and silence settled over them, as Tin Toy Tom began the discussion that would last for days.
***
Cassy sat cross legged in Time Flies cockpit, a still damp popsicle stick hanging loosely from her lips. “Hey Barty, two questions. First, why does it feel like I'm earning points somewhere, and second, why does the crayon positioning system show half of the menagerie out in the middle of the ocean? Also, third question, why aren't we splashing in the ocean too?”
“Oh! I knew I was pretending to forget something. The Misfits Menagerie was feeling a bit bloated, so they decided to split up. The faster ones, that enjoy the chase, will keep following us around. The rest decided they'd rather the carnival moved for them. They headed out to the great plastic zone in the ocean, to clean it up, and use it as building material for a floating carnival! It appears that the silly plants are trying to contest their ownership of the plastic.” Barty replied through the sound system.
“Neat! Good for them. Do they need any help? We could totally zip over there and drop a few bubbles in the water.”
“We could, but we might miss the cheesy potato festival.”
“True…”
“I hate making hard decisions!..”
“I'm sure they'll be fine, I'll keep a close watch.”
“Alright, cheesy potatoes first, help building the moving island of Misfit Menagerie later. Thanks Barty, you're the best brain buddy a Clown could ask for.”
Cassy relaxed back into her bean bag chair and stared out the top of Time Flies clear dome.“Hey Barty. What do you think the cheesy potato situation is like in Japan? Think it's worth a visit?”