Cover story 31: Too much sound too little sleep
As the cops one by one sleep at home, daze alongside the stupidity in their closed reality. Some lay awake thinking and others drunk so bad a dumbster smells better than them. The man who was walking before has a theory for tomorrow, even if it doesn't matter because who'd care, all this build up and there's no punchline. All there was, was a man under his blanky working and playing all night long. He either loves his job or hates loosing.
Who am I kidding he probably has his rent due
--
Today was not today for me, my today never started, I know I sound dumb but it hurts knowing today was not today and what I want is only left there in the past. I was just young and then I ran. I was also reminded the none eternity of my existence due to clocks and mirrors. As you can guess I was a moody kid, if you asked the past me what the meaning of life was? I would just respond, a cup of nothingness. I don’t even know if I knew what words were half of the time I just said them as it came through my mind, I was the definition of a vampire in those books that girls read but instead of being mysterious I ended up murdering when I grew up, me recalling this from the future sucks but the past me wouldn't get it a year from now. I was an idiot in short. But something had to come my way, maybe it did but I never cared to look at the grass on my side of the field so I never saw it. I mean I was homeless in the streets and even then I could find a way of enclosing myself from the outside world. I WAS AN IDIOT in short. But I sure did not have an ego as big as Malfonz, he could fill a room with it and even then someone found a way of opening the door and making him feel insignificant. He was the idiot and I was an idiot. I guess I just got tagged and here I am with my knee scraped and a booboo on me.
But I was brought to a family, the family with Sakura in it. My home life never felt like a home life, but I never knew what a true home life was back then either, everybody were secretive, and the worst case was Ichika. My mother figure was sweet and nice, but I never knew who she was, but she was nice, she was like food. You eat it, you never ask what it is I ate? Turns out it was a mush of mixed ingredients like a hot dog, I never had memories with my parental figures, they just kept me, I was cared for but I only digested their love and they never tried to make me ask myself was I happy, until I found the time to ask was I sad and why? I was bound to always turn out this way, a murderer and a bad guy a kind of hobby that makes my world spin, everything turns out gray...
I had to put the pen down for once and reflect. I was awestruck a bit, I was doing all this and yet right now I was sitting like a duck in a room all alone pondering to myself where I went wrong in my life for once. I am still gonna make mistakes you know but the bell chimes get louder and louder and almost like I will be the death of me. All this work just to avoid death then the one chance I get I end up loosing everything because of boredom, and then theres the side that asks how truly bad was death if all it is, is a selfless act to yourself. To die isn't bad, to choose to die isn't bad, but it feels bad, that means everybody sins because that greed makes death look worse than it is a choice, but people rush into it. The me now retired years ago from that business, same man I was back then even now, but knowing I will be dead tomorrow isn't scary if it's not by force. I can't speak to them anymore, but I found new people, lost some people, and now both of us don't attack anymore, when we recieved that one more chance we had been asking, you know I hate myself knowing I never truly suffered, not everything is equal, maybe that suffering is still suffering even if it doesn't hurt as bad. It lingered.
--
Back then, I had...
Siblings under me who I could not relate to were probably feeling the same way as the me in the now, I found a twin sister in my younger sister because she lost hers so I became hers and the two brothers younger than me were very affectionate. I even had a brother in Sakura, he was less secretive, we were like friends. He was a family man, and knew us all pretty well. But he was a heart guy. He was more emotional and affectionate than me, I was jealous of him for it, and some days I wanted to kill him for it. But that would be too much of a hassle. Being jealous would mean I felt something, but that was just a thing I told myself. As you can see all my colors were always there in the form of siblinghood, I don’t know what I felt, I had the urge to kill him because he had something I did not, could be a killer’s instinct or jealousy. But I did feel more emotion back then compared to now. Everyday was same, it went by like a…
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
"Hey that’s dangerous, is it poisonous", said Sakura as he snatched away Neova’s knife colored in blood after Neova stabbed his own arm.
"Hey give me that back idiot", said Neova. Sakura hinting at Neova being such a jerk his blood itself was toxic like him.
"Stand up then instead of sitting all day, i’mma tell granny", as he made a quick exit.
"Eeh take it", said Neova. Neova begins to lay down and gaze at the ceiling, with his arms spread out beginning to doze off. Right before that happens Sakura wakes him up by tapping Neova’s left shoulder.
"You wanna gaze on the grass instead, or do you wanna explore", listed Sakura as a way to annoy Neova.
"You ever feel like you know nobody here, granny barely remembers me and gramps barely spends time with us except the other children", said Neova.
"But he spent time with me yesterday", said Sakura in a confused look.
"Yeah you proved my point idiot", said Neova.
"If you say that again I will throw you down a river, hope that small brain has enough room for survival when I'm done GET UP", said Sakura.
"What I say Idiot", asked Neova.
cut
"Wait wait I asked I didn’t call you an idiot I asked if the word was idiot when I teased you that ended up making you mad", said Neova,
"No chance", said Sakura.
Sploosh.
"I am gonna get sick because of you, and if I do", said Neova.
"Why don’t I get sick as well then, is that it", said Sakura.
Wait wait,
Sploosh.
"Why did you come up with such a bad idea man", said Sakura.
"I can’t get back home now", said Sakura as he has a bad sense of direction as well as bad attempts at humor.
One joke of his is what water would respond to as a condescending response. The answer is water of it mate. I remembered that even if it served no purpose.
--
I never understood of Neova, he’s always grumpy and whenever I spend time with him he seems to be less hostile but still annoyed, which motivates me to do more. I never got around to his mindset, but I heard points throughout my life of the life Neova had, of what he lost. But it is not like that changed much about him, I bet he would be just as gloomy even with his parents, he has described the feelings he can not feel. Like sadness so he stays up alone, and the stabbing due to experimentation sake. He has a knack for killing ants, I bet he will be some big murderer when he grows up. So I always found his feelings and his thoughts conflicting, he wants to know more about Ichika but was annoyed when someone gave that to him. I bet he likes me, not because I gave him information about Ichika I barely know her, but because I cared enough to give him a piece of me. That day I made him sick and stopped him, that was because it was one of my attempts to change him, to make him see that at least he has my love, so this was like a letter, I regretted my actions of making you sick and got in trouble. Maybe one day my love can change him, maybe it can’t but always remember this.
...
...
...
Neova if you read this on the piece of paper I hid,
I am not your brother because I condone your actions but because I wanted to give you a taste of something that your actions wanted but never could strive to achieve, a home. But this is my send off, to you Neova, I have written this type of letter to many people but yours is only meant to be from me to you. But if you did commit murder I could never forgive you, because you took a life, a life of maybe another brother who made their sibling sad. Not like us adopted siblings. Hope you die soon, because I miss you and hope we can meet if possible.
Kind regards.
A letter for you underneath our house, so that if you find it, it will be a gift from me to you after my death. I bet all you wanted from my life was my love younger brother. Fin.