Dinner at the HaruToki Residence was enough to satiate Hajime’s protein-crazed appetite. The rich, succulent texture of their mammoth hors d’oeuvres proved a savory wonder for his taste buds without any trace of lacking seasoning. It was perfect. He might not have been the kind to understand the first thing about culinary finesse and design, but he could tell they were superior to his filet mignon from the garnish alone.
Mammoth onion soup was next on the table, and upon his first spoonful, his expectations heightened. It reached a level where he could become a heartless food critic in a poorly scripted cooking show.
Luckily, fun wasn’t about having no heart, especially when made with all the love and kindness from his two dearest friends. The second spoonful put him on the verge of tears, recalling the days when his stomach refused to digest their war crime of a bowl of clam chowder.
The main course didn’t disappoint either. If Hajime were a heartless critic, their mammoth lasagna would reignite his soul and bask in the delicious harmony of a good time. Yet, even in Swordland, they were no strangers to salt and pepper, further enhancing his will to wolf everything down the hatch.
Life had been kind to him, and the Brazen Couple made it even brighter with a toast of their surprisingly sweet cocktail of potato carrot wine mixed with a strange fruit resembling a cheese wheel.
“Here’s to Hajime, still being the same, just the way we like him!” said Tokiwa, smiling with her other hand pressed against her chest. “And here’s to my lovely husband, whom I’ll never get tired of carrying to our bed after a rowdy drinking game of who can name the most spell attacks!”
Haruto cleared his throat immediately after the one discrepancy in her statement. “Umm, technically, I’m still not your husband.”
“Just roll with it, babe, or I’ll be milking your ‘P-spot’ double time tonight,” Tokiwa retorted, eyes closed with a pout on her cheeks.
“Well, I’m the one who took both your virginities first, so that means I’m the strongest in that field.”
“Nuh-uh! I went full animal with your happy place for ten minutes before we did the deed. I’ll always surpass you in every field!”
“That doesn’t count, and besides, you should’ve—”
Little did they know that Hajime would give his throat the loudest call for attention in the room. He’d do it again until the heat death of the universe if he must. “Could you guys please take all these tensions back to the sheets? I feel like beating your heads with a wooden bat.”
Tokiwa returned to her seat, placing the glass on its designated coaster. “My apologies, Orca. We didn’t mean anything by it, but I must say, I thought you were the last person to complain about such things. Remember what you did during our summer break?”
Hajime predicted she’d move to the one subject that plunged their school to an endless shock. He wanted to experience a different kind of fun in what started out as a non-risque awareness stream for people like him—people who didn’t care whether the backsides and knockers they got to enjoy came from the metaphysical Mars or Venus. He never regretted setting it to private except for his most loyal followers, having everything to do with shameless pleasure.
Despite the sensation returning to him like an orgasmic bullet train, the idea of three former delinquents who came out of the closet offering him a “spit roast” before the ladies joined in was admittedly too spicy for his budding exploration. Perhaps it wasn’t just the lightning coursing through his veins that wanted things to speed up. Even the noisy springs of his mattress remained in his memories with each admittedly semi-decent thrust.
“That was for charity,” said Hajime, hunched over his chair with a shrug. “I paid them all 5,000 yen at the end of the week. It was time for our aging, decrepit, small-minded ‘leaders’ to see the bigger picture and hear our voices. They never cared about us, but we stood loud and proud.”
Tokiwa nodded as she took a sip of her own cocktail recipe. “Oh, I feel you. This new world we’re living in is rife with creeps who don’t know an engagement ring when they see it, and no one bats an eye. Then again, so was my old life. But thanks to the shows we watched together, I realized anything was worth fighting for, even if they had tasteless scenes left to be desired.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
Hajime shared the laughter with the Brazen Couple before continuing their heavenly banquet with another toast. He knew they wouldn’t just leave the table with a single course, as Haruto exclaimed of recollection for his mammoth pot roast still simmering to delicate perfection in the kitchen. It succeeded in its promising aroma once he dug his fork into its juicy interior with little to no resistance. There was nothing better he could ask for, or maybe there was.
In a miraculous twist, the two immediately surpassed his expectations with their joint effort: mammoth tartare topped with a raw «Cockatrice» egg. Although the yolk had the color of a rotting green apple, he wasn’t ashamed to yell out his joy that it gave his palette a limousine ride to Flavortown. Their drastic improvement nearly made him forget their previous mishaps of turning pots and pans into a charred heap of misery beyond repair.
Hajime helped himself with another plate, foregoing the need for utensils as he leaned the whole dish directly to his mouth. “Gotta hand it to you, Kendo Girl, this is the best dinner I’ve had. You, too, Light Novel Boy. Here’s hoping you’ll surprise me again in the future.”
“Thanks,” said Haruto, finishing his meal earlier than the two. “You should try the Whetstones’ cooking. Not even we can compare.”
“Then, I hope you’re telling the truth because meeting the general tomorrow might give me some fun. What do you think, Kendo Girl?”
Tokiwa could no longer wait to gorge herself like a starved whale in the middle of the Sahara after all the presentations they had done for him. The chaos in her diet almost had her swallowing a toothpick. “You bet. General Theo hated conies throughout his life, but they gave him a new outlook in less than five seconds!”
“I see.” Hajime caressed his chin, his attention now fixed on what he could only guess was their equivalent of a top monarch. “Tell me, what is this Theo like?”
“A lot more compassionate than the rumors make him out to be. I assume you helped the Green Wolves escape, am I wrong?”
“Nah, you’re more than right.”
“Okay,” Tokiwa continued. “Regarding Theo, he didn’t mean to abandon them in the «Starting Forest». Sad as it is, the real power in this world is a bunch of glorified priests who’d rather chew their legs off than admit incompetence. They’ll deem you missing forever once you’re gone more than a week.”
“Sheesh, that’s cruel. Anything else?”
“Honestly, not much. Theo loves going places, which makes him the ultimate treader when you think about it. He also loves his entrances like some Hollywood bigshot. You should’ve seen him going to…”
Hajime listened with full intent, never noticing that Haruto had taken their plates from their hands. What he once thought was a stone-cold dictator who didn’t know the word fun unraveled countless stories in and out of the battlefield. The more he listened, the less his ears discerned the world around him, thrust into tales of pragmatic leadership and heartbreaking decisions with a straight face.
“So, wanna see who can eat the most before we get some shut-eye?” said Tokiwa, cracking her knuckles one finger at a time. “We’ll save our sparring next time. I can’t wait to get started!”
He chuckled at the notion that such childish endeavors were more important than combat. For the sake of having fun and perhaps the mission, he gave his neck a stretch of pure satisfaction. “You know, I just realized what made us different. You love a good challenge because it helps you get stronger. I love a good challenge because it excites my nerves. Game on.”
There were no second thoughts between the two once they grabbed the plates nearest to them. Hajime would’ve loved to claim he had no trouble thanks to his electrifying prowess, but Tokiwa intercepted his moves half the time before he could even twitch another finger. Still, the fun only doubled, and fun was the most phenomenal dish in all creation.
Soul Melody Activated Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
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Many miles east of the HaruToki Residence, the ancient Castle Brand—nestled in the heart of Coelestis—continued to shine under the moonlight with its marble walls and emerald tiles. A hundred guards armed with spears littered the winding entrance, diligent in their oath to a man who returned from a successful raid on a «Greater Goblin» hideout.
“Come forth, Zuriel. I seek your reports in my absence,” the man beckoned, his silver armor showing an equal luster alongside his cape swaying with each step.
“Yes, sir. At your service.”
“You’re looking quite pale tonight, Zuriel. Did you have another run-in with the Brazen Couple and their unruly antics? Or is it because the Green Wolves have returned?”
“N-no, sir. Not at all. It’s about the recent warrior of light.”
“Ah, yes. Hajime, I believe. Ms. Whetstone and her father were kind enough to tell me all about him. So, what troubles you in this fine evening?”
“It’s his power, sir. Maki told me he possesses a fierce control over lightning. No two «Essences» can exist simultaneously, and, as you know, I’m still alive.”
“…oh. That is troubling. Let’s hope and pray that disaster won’t happen again while we can.”