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24. Cooking & Romance

The Brazen Couple began their most cherished routine every day off, a routine that nearly killed one of General Theo’s supreme chefs from the sweet, heavenly aroma of their kitchen alone. But tonight was different.

With only the two of them together, their actions ushered in the more intimate side of teamwork. Even as Haruto reached for an adequate knife to slice the potato carrots, his cheeks bloomed in a rose tint once Tokiwa’s fingers connected with his.

Haruto knew what face Tokiwa had shown him in more ways than one. It was the same mischievous look he saw at a party, revealing that she had already foreseen his next move. He wasn’t sure if it made things slightly more adorable between them, but given the versatility of her [Essence of Time], perhaps she had her sights set on doing another “accident” at the right moment.

It didn’t stop there with the potato carrots. Just as Haruto tried reaching for a box of white, leafy vegetables resembling celery, his hand grabbed a heaping load of nothing instead. Meanwhile, his fiance had already minced three to four of them like a roadrunner on speed, glancing at him with the same face. Yet, no sliver of annoyance crept through his thoughts. If anything, he returned her joy with a quick snatch of a single potato carrot. It was a hard-won battle, to be sure.

Haruto twirled the tuberous crop not too dissimilar with his pistols. “I don’t mind if I only handle the meat again if that’s what you’re getting at,” he said before tossing it back to her hand in perfect accuracy.

“Oh, no, honey. That wasn’t my intention,” giggled Tokiwa. “I just missed the old days, that’s all. When I didn’t train my guts out for the next championship, I’d be at home nuzzling at your back as you whisked your worries away by cooking dinner for me. Then, you showed me how fun it was to do it together.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so? All we need now is more green onions, and I’ll be your precious pookie bear whipping you up a damn good meal after a hard day’s work.”

“…really?”

“Yup. It makes my heart bounce anyway.”

To some, love was confusing; to others, it made sense. And sometimes, you needed a degree in rocket science to figure out the secret dynamic between a proud marksman and a headstrong swordswoman. All the tabloids in Coelestis would never believe it for a second, and Haruto preferred that. It was a million times better than how their old friend perceived their relationship, always at the expense of a tired joke.

And so, they began to search for the best recipes for mammoth meat through a series of cookbooks, which didn’t so much as collect dust from the rims compared to even the novel section in their library. With Tokiwa choosing a hefty serving of mammoth casserole that could feed a city, they washed any leafy greens the recipe had called for within seconds, including the white celery. Their sink always proved big enough for four hands at a time.

Then, they moved on with the sauce at a similar pace. For once, Haruto found a use for their tub of [Bicorn] milk that didn’t involve Tokiwa’s second job, with their combined strength pouring half of it in a bowl on the count of three. He gladly allowed her to taste the rich, ivory mixture of salt, pepper, and many otherworldly spices at their disposal. Amidst the choreographed symphony of their teamwork, his screen began setting the mood even further:

Soul Melody Activated Lucky - Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

It wouldn’t be dinner at the HaruToki Residence if they didn’t add many more dishes. Luckily, it was time for their skillet to shine, with Haruto flipping bite-sized cubes of the softest parts of the meat, sizzling in a rhythm that only his nose could hear. On the other hand, Tokiwa began to engage the one thing promised to her—a faint, delicate, heart-thumping nuzzle behind his back. Rest assured, he prepared for the hickeys.

Out of the many things to know about cooking mammoth was that other parts could take a century to be palatable. As such, Tokiwa snapped her fingers at the rest of the meat lying on the chopping boards, ushering in a marshmallow softness in their texture with the slightest touch. The nuzzling had yet to stop, and it hopefully wouldn’t be their last.

“You know I can feel you sneaking a nibble in my neck, right?” said Haruto, preparing the final dish: mammoth stew.

Tokiwa opened her eyes, gripping more firmly with a smile. “Yeah… what about it? No matter where you go, you smell like roses and lilacs.” She took another whiff of his scent, her breath reeling into a realm of ecstasy and excitement. “Oh, babe, marry me!”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Well, we are getting married. I wouldn’t trade this life for all the gold in this world or the one we left. Or, if you want me to be more blunt and risque, I wouldn’t trade it for your hair and thighs.”

“Ahem! I’d worship the hell out of them, too, if I cloned myself. Now that you mention it, I wouldn’t trade this life for all the gems in this world or the one we left. Or, if you want me to cut to the chase, I wouldn’t trade it for your cute little butt. You better work it real hard next time.”

“Okay. I haven’t found the right shorts yet, but I’ll make you happy, somehow.”

“I’m sure you will.” Tokiwa opened her eyes again, spotting what her grandmother would consider a fatal flaw in making a stew. “Honey, you forgot the wine! It looks pale and awful.”

“Oh, shit. I knew this would happen. Hold on a sec—” Beyond any form of bewilderment, Haruto couldn’t find even a trace of the bottle of pinot noir he had placed on the table behind them. Searching around the balcony didn’t help much to the point that they might need to go full-on Sherlock Holmes with every nook and cranny.

It didn’t take long for Tokiwa to have a better solution. “Don’t worry. I got this,” she said with unbridled confidence. She raised her hands, and several ghostly apparitions appeared in the kitchen, but there was no need for alarm. Nearly all of Swordland had witnessed at least one instance of her [Essence of Time] creating playable memories, not unlike a tape recording. She even patented the word herself for better clarity.

Finally, after discerning only a few minutes into the past, the Brazen Couple caught a glimpse of the culprit. It was no stealthy burglar, however. In a millionth of a billionth of a second, the playable memory showed a hand shrouded in electricity swiping the bottle, which proved more difficult for her concentration to capture. Either way, they couldn’t mistake the telltale signs of scarring around the knuckles or the amount of veins pulsating from the muscular grip.

Just as they planned to investigate their old friend, who seemed to have enjoyed himself downstairs, the [Soul Melody] of their love had ceased. What came in its place was an energetic pop song that sold like hotcakes in their home country.

Soul Melody Activated Hai Yorokonde - Kocchi no Kento

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Indeed, Hajime would be the first to admit he enjoyed being the life of the party, even in his alone time. If only there were a party to speak of instead of stomping on the floorboards with the same finesse as a 1970s disco animal. All those years of ridicule for his two left feet had paid off. His fingers went up, his fingers went down, and his feet were a machine of pure funk. The groovy antics escalated as the chorus played louder than the rest of the music.

“Get it, get it down! Get it, get it down! Odore!” Hajime continued his servitude to the beat, caring less that his two best friends stood before him in sheer confusion. He didn’t know what to explain besides that his body was also confused at his newfound ability to perform an actual dance where he didn’t fall face-first once. He just did.

Haruto raised a finger, cautiously advancing closer. “Um, Hajime… can you… umm…”

The melody was relentless, drowning any other attempt to catch his attention, but as a wise man once said, all good things must end. That notion couldn’t be far more literal as the last chorus played, leaving him panting like a lost traveler in the Mojave Desert. “Sorry, Light Novel Boy. I didn’t mean to shake up the neighbors.”

“We don’t have neighbors,” Haruto revealed.

“I’m talking about the fish folk beneath the waves… if you have any.” Hajime gave him a hearty laugh, walking toward the nearest sofa for his couch potato phase. “Anyway, is dinner ready? Mammoths don’t seem chewy to eat, so take your time.”

“Actually, we’re almost done. We only need more of the wine you’re drinking right now back at the cellar.”

“No problemo, José. I can do that for you lickety-split. Watch.” His mind decided that playing genie wouldn’t hurt for tonight, with a fresh new bottle materializing out of his hand.

The most remarkable reaction Hajime got was a Tokiwa with eyes lit up in extreme delight, rambling about how blessed he was to have multiple [Essences]. It was a neat name for the unique abilities of every treader in Swordland, but that only meant her patience in fighting him to get stronger had lessened. He couldn’t blame her since the word fun never understood patience either.

Surprisingly, Tokiwa was willing to wait a month until he was ready for a challenge of the ages, following her fiance back to the kitchen. Now that his alone time had returned, he couldn’t say he had the heart to reveal to them his true ambitions in a world where he didn’t belong. No one could. Their friendship might have been thicker than water, but it was all for the sake of the mission, and he had two more friends to worry about.

Summoning his virtual phone, he waited for the other line to pick up a familiar voice. The ringing ceased quicker than expected, and he sighed with every sense of relief in his heart. “Farkas, is that you?”

“Yeah, dude, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m still in Swordland. So far, nobody has noticed where I come from. I wish y’all were here, honestly. I got to meet my school buddies again before I died.”

“Wow, that’s great! What are they like?”

“It’s pretty hard to explain,” Hajime continued in a tone close to a whisper. “Let’s just say they’re shorter than Paulie, shorter than you, and shorter than me kneeling for a prayer.”

Farkas howled in amusement, carried by the semi-grainy reception. “Okay, whatever you say, dude. By the way, Paulie and I are back here in Agrima. I gotta admit, Our Majesty didn’t want us to stay any longer from where we ended up.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Harald never told us. It was a very barren land, as far as I knew. But if you wanna know more about the horde, I’ve got an excellent story to tell just between you and me.”

Hajime chuckled, shining another pearly white grin in a world where he still didn’t belong, now itching for a tale close to home. “Lay it on me, man. Tell me how ‘excellent’ it truly is.”