5. FUCKED.

My apartment is only one block from the beach, which is why I live there despite the cost. I slipped on my trunks, a shirt and some jandels. I grabbed a towel and walked to the beach. It was about half four in the morning, still dark. The streets were empty. It was the best time of day.

The street lights didn’t extend far onto the dark beach. The tide was out. I dumped the towel, shirt and jandels above the high tide mark and walked to the gentle surf. These east coast beaches are so tame. I had to wade a fair way before I was deep enough to swim. The water was nice and cool.

I turned parallel to the beach and set out with an easy breaststroke, just letting my mind settle after all the information that was swirling around in there. This is good.

Some small sprats dart away from me in the water. It occurs to me that if I could catch them, I could try out my poison touch. The trouble is they are too fast. Should I get an aquarium and some fish to test on?

My mind wanders. Even sticking to the more scientific sites, you can’t avoid the crackpot theories. Portals from aliens. Judgement from God. A lot of end of the world stuff. I am in agreement. I think it is the end of the world as we know it. Who cares whether it is aliens, God’s judgement or God correcting his mistakes? The end result is the same.

The main question is, do I want to stick around for it? And the answer is, I don’t know. I have survived one mutation. There is no guarantee I would survive another. Not surviving doesn't worry me, but what if I am permanently crippled and in pain all the time? There are worse things than death, like company bloody fishing trips.

I should have told everybody to fuck off.

I stretched out into a full freestyle stroke. This was good. I turned around and headed back. I switched to a butterfly stroke to use some energy for a while. It wasn’t my best stroke, but I liked it, and it tired me out quicker.

The world is going to go to shit, and a lot of people are going to die. Do I care? Partially. Maple would be a loss. Not many others would be.

The trouble is that infrastructure would break down. I am a civil engineer. Infrastructure is kind of my thing. I guess I would get the beaches to myself. I might have to learn to fish.

I flip over and float on my back for a while, kicking with my feet. I do an occasion backstroke with an arm. The sky is getting lighter. Dawn is coming.

Do I want to live through this? I don’t know.

I chuckle. Things could be worse. It could be like that harem apocalypse book I never finished. I couldn’t stand one woman around all the time, let alone a dozen. That would be a nightmare. I would definitely find a use for my poison touch.

Time to head back to shore. I see some early-morning joggers are out.

I have time. I don’t have to decide now.

I have two weeks off. More if the world goes to shit in that time. I was going to spend a few days camping at Piha on the west coast. Maybe I should go to Waiheke instead. If I die, then I die. Game over, and I am done.

Waiheke does sound more interesting right now. Maybe I could figure out how fast it is spreading. I have a wetsuit to protect me from the jellyfish. They have no protection from me. I could be the Great Jellyfish Hunter.

Now, I am getting silly. I think I need some sleep.

I towel myself down, slip on my jandels and head back. That jogger is worth ogling.

I shower and have a piece of fruit. I am never going to eat all that fruit. A few hours of sleep will do me good. Before I do that, I fire off a text to see what Carla is up to. I don’t want to head into the end of the world horney.

I woke up after lunch and checked my phone. Carla is keen to come around after work today but then has to rush off to spend the holidays with her family. I know she is as thrilled about that as I would be. I never knew my mother and my father was a drunken asshole, so I am not about to rush off anywhere. At least I avoided inheriting the drunken part of that.

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I pulled up the info for the vehicle ferry to Waiheke. It is summer and the major holidays. There are more available sailings than I thought there would be. I book myself and my bike in on one. Should I book a return sailing? What is the likelihood of me coming back? Probably less than 50/50. With this number of available spaces, I will find a spot if I return.

I check the accommodation availability on Waiheke. As expected, it is slim pickings. I am probably better off camping anyway. I was planning to camp at Piha. They get grumpy at freedom campers these days. They want you to be at a campground. I shrug. I did inherit the asshole part from my father. There are plenty of shops in the town, so it is not like I will have to live off my nonexistent fishing skills. Those wineries also provide high-class meals, although I will probably stick with takeaways.

My biggest problem right now, though, is how to make sure I don’t poison Carla when my control loosens later. Looks like the fruit might come in handy after all.

When I opened my door at 5:30, Carla greeted me with, “Hello, asshole. No one knocked you off yet?” as she bounced into the apartment.

“Not yet, although the boss tried a couple of days ago. I guess she is not very good at her job.”

“End of year company do, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Carla is of medium height and slim. Small breasts, bronze skin, black hair. She’s Samoan. See, I can learn something about someone. Eventually. She is also very fit. Running fitness classes at one of those high-intensity gyms for a living will do that for you.

“I told you that you should quit. Go into business for yourself.”

“Can you really see me dealing with clients?”

“Good point.” Carla threw her gym bag on the couch. “I want a shower. Shall we start there?”

“Absolutely.”

It was over four hours later when we finished our second shower. I followed her naked butt out to the living room. We were both comfortable naked.

She grabbed a piece of fruit from the bowl. Then she noticed the discoloured fruit in the waste, “Did you buy a bad batch or something?” she asked, indicating the waste.

“Something like that.” At least she wasn’t poisoned.

She sauntered over to the couch and perched on the edge, one leg on the floor and the other on the couch. It was a good view. I didn’t miss her smirk. She knew what she was doing.

“Hey, can I ask you a favour?” She asked.

My look changed.

“Don’t give me that look, you selfish bastard. It’s nothing onerous.”

“What then?” She knew she had me.

“I just want an excuse to get away from my folks early. Are you going to be at Piha?”

“Actually, I just booked a ferry to Waiheke. And since when do you need an excuse?”

“Really? Waiheke?”

“If I get bored, I can catch the ferry back and go to Piha.”

“Can I join you in a couple of days?”

“That might be dangerous. Since when do you need an excuse to duck out on your folks? You have never needed one before.”

“My sister-in-law is hosting her cousin from the Islands, and they all think it is a good idea for us to meet.”

I just laughed.

“Shut up, you asshole,” she said while smiling with me. “I turned thirty this year, and they all think I am getting past it and need to settle down.”

I raised an eyebrow as I let my eyes wander over that fantastic body.

“Oh shut up,” she said again, even though I hadn’t said anything. “There are a lot of cultural expectations in the mix. So how about it?” She let her eyes roam over my body, “I can make it worth your while.”

“In my tiny pop-up tent?” I said.

“It wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, I don’t mind putting on a show if you don’t.”

I sighed, “I suppose I can take the spare helmet for the bike.”

She smiled brightly, “Thanks. I will message you when I am coming.” She gave me a peck on the cheek. “Be careful, though. There might be some cracks in that hard heart of yours.”

“Well, don’t go telling your folks I’m your boyfriend or anything.”

“Heaven forbid,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “If I did that, they would want to meet you.” Then, a small mischievous smile crept onto her face.

“No. Don’t even think about it.”

She grinned, “I won't, don’t worry.” She checked her phone. “I need to get going. I won’t get there till after midnight as it is.”

“You had better get dressed first, or everyone will see how much of an old maid you are.”

She just gave me the finger as she disappeared into my room to find her clothes.

I’m well and truly fucked.