Carla was awake and on the warpath. I think the hospital staff might be wishing she wasn’t. I had no problem hearing her through the wall, and I didn’t need my super-hearing for most of it. She wanted four things: A phone, a laptop, Sophia Hardcastle, who could bring both of the above and then, finally, she wanted to talk to me. I made the list, which is awesome, even though I was last. I even heard her threaten them with me, which I thought was hilarious. She is much scarier than I am.

When the nurses came to see me, I started making the same demand to see her, as I could clearly hear her through the wall.

Carla got a visit from the doctor, while I got a visit from Commander Lewis. He had a confidentiality Document for me to sign, and I figured I needed to read it through. I needed to know what things would break it, and what the penalties were. I was pretty sure I would end up breaking it at some point. There were a range of penalties all the way up to indefinite incarceration. It also included me giving consent to having my communications monitored. What I objected to was that there was no end date specified. I argued for six months, and he had other vague triggers he would accept. We had a vigorous debate. In my mind, the world was going to shit in the next six to twelve months anyway, so it didn’t really matter. What I wanted was for Commander Lewis to take me seriously. It was part of my plan for extracting us from the lab without killing anyone. It was laying the groundwork.

The consequence of debating with Lewis was that I didn’t overhear Carla’s doctor’s examination. That was all right, I would see her soon.

Then it was my turn with Doctor Mohan, and Lewis went to get Carla to sign his precious document. Lewis had a much shorter time with Carla, and then I heard her talking to a female I assume was Sophia. There was crying and other emotional shit I tuned out as the doctor needed my attention.

“Did the blood and flesh sample show any changes after yesterday, doc?”

“No, but I am sure you can shed some light on the situation for me, as it was too much of a coincidence.”

“Yes, I could, but I am not going to until I have talked to Carla, as this affects her as well as me.”

“That is pretty much what Carla just told me. There is some sort of bond or link between you, isn’t there?”

“That is a pretty obvious deduction to make.”

“I know you helped her, essentially broke her out of her nightmare loop. You certainly have earned some respect and space, but I am not sure Commander Lewis will think the same.”

I am aware everything is being recorded. Without our permission. I didn’t say that, as I only overheard it with super-hearing. Without permission.

The Doc continued, “When you see her, there will be some obvious deformities from her mutations. Try not to be shocked or stare too much. It can be hard for people to have physical deformities suddenly.”

Fuck, the universe kicked back didn’t it?

They wanted me to wear one of the contamination suits for the meeting. I dutifully put it on. As I was led out of the room, I snagged the TV and wheeled it with me.

“Why are you bringing that?” The nurse asked.

“So we can watch our favourite program together,” I replied.

I got some funny looks, including from Carla and Sophia.

Sophia was in a contamination suit like me, so I could only see a very pretty face and long blond locks of hair.

Carla. Carla was sitting up in bed in a hospital gown. She had lost all the hair on her head, including her eyebrows, and she was covered in fish scales instead of skin. Her mouth looked human, and what I could see of her teeth was human. She still had ears.

Her neck was different. There were six slits on each side of the neck. It took me a moment to click.

“Holy fucking shit, you have gills, that is awesome.”

I moved closer and took off the helmet of my contamination suit. I never had any intention of wearing the thing the whole time, regardless of instructions.

“Aren't you supposed to keep that on?” Sophia said.

“Yep,” I replied, stripping off the rest of it, revealing my stylish hospital gown. “God, that was annoying to wear.” I could see Carla’s smile. “So, fish scales, huh?” I said.

“It is more complicated than that,” she replied.

“I figured,” I said, “Just a minute while I get the TV set up for our favourite program.”

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Carla knew I was talking bullshit, obviously. Sophia went to say something, and I saw Carla’s hand stop her, and she shook her head.

Meanwhile, I did a circuit of the room with my electro-sensors-thingies and found the camera. I plugged the TV in, found a channel with children's cartoons and set it at a good volume, facing the camera. I hope they like Sponge Bob. Now, there is a mutant sea creature if there ever was one.

“OK,” I said. “The room is monitored, and they will still see us, but if we talk low and do not face the camera, we should be able to talk without being recorded.”

“They can’t do that!” Sophia exclaimed.

“How well did you read that document you just signed,” I asked. “‘Monitor our communications’ was pretty broad, so as of when you signed, yes, they can as they have our permission.” I looked at Carla, “How much do you trust her?”

“With everything.”

“Shit, that is pretty heavy,” I said.

“Bob, please meet Sophia Hardcastle. Sophia, or Soph for short, is my girlfriend. We are in love, have been living together for the last two years, and are discussing marriage. Soph, this is Robert Wilkinson or Bob, my casual hook-up and fuck toy.”

Well, that is going to take a bit to get my head around.

Carla continued, “Give Bob a minute, Soph. He probably never considered I might have a life outside the occasional times we hooked up.”

“That is certainly true,” I said. I looked at Soph, “If she hasn’t told you, you will find out soon enough. I am not good at relationships, and I don’t like people.”

“He is a selfish bastard, but we seem to get along,” Carla said.

Then things clicked into place. “Oooh,” I said to Carla, “You are an evil conniving witch.”

“You can’t say that to her!” Sophia said in protest.

Carla interrupted her before she got going, “No, no, that's fine, Soph. He has just put two and two together. That was a compliment.”

“That is not a compliment!”

“Yes, for Bob, that is a high compliment.”

“Because you are an evil, conniving bloody witch.” I inserted. “The reason you wanted to use me as an excuse to your family wasn’t to escape their matchmaking, or at least not only that. It was to protect her,” I pointed at Sophia. “I am guessing they are not accepting of same-sex relationships.”

“There are a lot of traditional cultural issues in the mix,” Carla admitted. “Besides, you don’t care, whereas Soph does care, and I need that. Desperately.” She reached out and grabbed Sophia’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I didn’t care, but I am starting to think I should have.”

“Oh?”

“I am having visions of a bunch of huge hulking Samoans turning up at my door to beat me to a pulp. A bloody Samoan Hit Squad.”

“There is no Samoan Hit Squad out to get you. My brother sorted them out.”

“What! Was that the brother whose wife was going to marry you off to her cossie?”

“No, that is another brother. I meant my twin.”

“How many fucking brothers… no! I can’t deal with this. It is too much.”

“Bob, look at me, Bob.” She reached over to me with a scaled hand, “You don’t have to deal with this. It is my life and my family, and it is what I deal with. You gave me an easier way to get them off our backs, especially Soph’s back. Thank you. There is nothing else for you to do. You would never have known about this and probably never even met Soph, but the world has changed. I have changed. This is what we now need to deal with.”

Right. Focus. “Thank you. Yes, we need to refocus on the mutations.” I could see Soph watching me closely. She probably thinks I am weird. Well, she is right.

Then the next thing clicked, “Oh, you fucking mad woman. You crazy bitch.”

“Don’t Soph. It is a compliment.” Carla whispered.

“That is the reason you stayed so long on that rock, doing everything you could to get as many mutations as possible, nearly getting us killed by that shark. You probably would also have died over the last three days. You did it all for her,” I pointed at Soph.

“Yes, Bob, I did it for her. When you told me what was coming, I knew I had to be strong for Soph. So, I took crazy risks to be as strong as I could. And you know what, Bob? I would have died twice without you. I rolled the dice, and I would have lost that roll without you. You killed that shark, and you saved me. Then yesterday, I was drowning. The mutations were killing me. I couldn’t keep going. I literally did not have the essence to do what the mutations needed to do, and I was in so, so much pain. But then you came and blasted your essence through it all. You blasted that link wide open and washed me with so much essence the Mutation could finish what it needed. It is not perfect, but I am alive, and there is power there. It is because of you, Bob. We have a chance only because of you.”

I sat back and looked at them both. Soph obviously didn’t know the whole story yet, but Carla must have been talking me up to her.

“Shit,” I said.

I saw Carla put up a hand to stop Soph, “Just let him process.”

“Fuck,” I expanded.

Then it dawned on me. “This is my worst fucking nightmare. I am in a Harem Apocalyse.”

Soph objected, “There's not a harem. There is no way I am in your harem.”

“It is not my harem,” I said, “it is hers,” I pointed to Carla, “She’s the one we are both fucking.”

“Bob, there is no harem,” Carla said sternly. “This is not one of your stupid fantasy books. There are only the three of us. She is the love of my life. You are the fuck toy. You are wrong anyway. We,” she indicates Soph and her, “are not fucking. She is A-sexual. Sex doesn’t interest her much.”

“Right, well, that explains a lot. And I am not just the fuck toy! I am also the bloody lifesaver,” I said

“Yes, you are definitely the lifesaver. A lifesaving fuck toy. You are a man of many talents.” Carla said.

“Oh, fuck off,” I said.