We went back to the Manawanui as soon as the Ensign returned from delivering the corpses. We were not staying on the barge any longer than necessary. Carla spent her time with Soph. Soph could be dead a few days from now. The difference between them was apparent. On Carla’s last night, she wanted to fuck. Soph just wanted to spend time and talk. I stayed out of the way. Soph didn’t know me well; I was just a confusing mess to her.

I had some thinking to do. There would be no Dogbreath if we couldn’t keep Soph alive. I reviewed what we knew and what we had been through. Especially Carla and me. We were both unconscious when we mutated. I didn’t know how or when the link had formed. It was primarily a link between our essence cores. The emotions seem to be along for the ride, a by-product. Or maybe that was the direction I forced it into to save Carla’s life. So many unknowns.

The link was connected to the essence core when I first found it. I think that is its primary function. That brings the next question: how do emotions affect essence? If emotions are flowing down the essence link, then emotions must affect the essence.

This is not my fucking area. Sophia should be asking the emotional questions. Bloody hell, I’ll be angry if I suddenly burst into tears. Fuck, anger is an emotion too.

Emotions and Essence. These were knocking around in my empty head. I was floating in that water, watching Carla on the rock casting her net, when I realised I cared for her. Emotions and essence. There is definitely a link.

I block, reject, and suppress emotions. I drive people away. I am self-aware enough to see that. It is how I am used to living. I am OK with that. I was OK with that. Carla is different, and I can also sense Soph worming her way in over time. Usually, I would drive her away, but I can’t. I can’t because Carla is already in with her hooks buried deeper than I ever imagined, and Soph is with Carla. Soph will worm her way in and bury her own hooks, and that is how emotional attachment works.

I am fucking no good at this. Why the hell do I have to think about bloody emotions?

However, that is not how emotional attachment works. That is only one half of the story. Somehow, my hooks have gotten into Carla. How, when? She said I was her hero because I didn’t get emotional with her. What the fuck?

I don’t know. I can’t deal with this. I am also getting sidetracked. It doesn’t matter how it happened. It happened.

The hooks were already sunk deep when I looked at her and realised I cared. Is that what directed the mutation to form a link? The emotion that I cared and she cared. That seems to feel more along the right lines than just sharing blood like some old-fashioned blood sacrifice or vampire ritual. It is also obvious that is not all there is to it.

Emotions and Essence.

There is definitely a lot of emotional connection between Carla and Soph. Enough to form a link? How would you use emotion to direct essence mutation? I was fighting to save Carla’s life from the shark, and my own, of course. She fought to save mine. She didn’t have to offer to be bait for it. She could have left me to the shark and swam for shore. She didn’t have to jump back in from the semi-safe rock to knife it. She was fighting for me as much as I was for her.

We do not want to recreate that.

Fuck, I don’t know.

Think. Fuck, there are too many distractions on this ship. Fuck.

Essence and Emotions and Mutations.

Obviously, there are more things involved than just emotions. I got poison from the jellyfish and then breathable skin. Why Poison? Was that the jellyfish? The skin might be because partly because of my love for swimming. What other factors are involved? My senses came from the shark. I am certainly more emotionally attached to my eyes, being able to ogle women in the dark rather than to smell them. Yet, smell greatly outstripped my night vision in the boost it got.

There is another factor. What about the anomaly itself? Why blue? Why that shade of blue? It is a bright, almost fluorescent blue. Blue, meaning it is associated with water, is far too simplistic. This is the real world, not some watered-down fantasy novel. Fuck there are so many unknowns. I wish I was transported to another world and had nice little blue boxes explaining everything to me. I wait expectantly.

Come on, take me!

I wait some more.

Get on with it, super being. I want to leave this place.

No?

No. I am stuck in the real world, and the real world is going to shit.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Right, back to it. I can’t account for the Anomalies essence because I have no fucking idea what it is. I can only see its effects. It is based in the ocean but has no problem mutating land creatures, plants and birds. I can’t see any patterns in the mutations. I am assuming the science geeks will figure that out in due course. Some mutations are apparent, and some are not. The three dogs will have mutated, but we don’t know how.

That is, except that emotions MAY influence it, or maybe it influences emotions. Maybe I have the anomaly to blame for my starting to care for Carla. That is a thought. Would it create emotions or maybe enhance emotions? How can something without emotion that we know of create emotion? It is more likely an emotional enhancer. One big emotion-enhancing drug.

I think back to the barge. Did the mutated creatures display enhanced emotions? Was it an emotional cannibal sheep, or was it just grazing on the corpses of its fellows? How the fuck would I know? Nothing stood out to me, but animals were not my thing, just like people weren't.

Fuck.

How can this help Soph live out her dream as a were-dog?

Essence, Mutations and Emotions.

Ensign Jeong. I need to find Ensign Jeong.

I tracked her down and cut off her verbose and enthusiastic greeting with, “Why the fish eyes? Why not the whole fish or some other part like the gills.”

“Well, we were talking the night before with you, and Carla was describing how she went for everything she could, and it went badly, and you talked about the jellyfish and the skin, and you mentioned you loved swimming, so I thought to reduce the risk I needed to narrow the focus. I didn’t get much sleep that night thinking, and what it came back to was me as a young girl watching my grandfather cook in his small restaurant. He would use fisheyes in his broths and soups, and I would get to taste them. Sometimes, he baked them as a delicacy. It was a good memory, and I was happy then. So I thought, if I am going for one thing, I will go for the fisheyes.”

Fucking hell. Emotion does play a part.

I need to find Carla and Soph.

Carla and Soph had retired to the cabin for the night. They were both squeezed together on the same bunk. They weren’t fucking. They were just … just cuddling. I can’t remember the last time I cuddled something. Or someone. I felt…

I interrupted, “Soph, I need you to tell me more about these dogs you grew up with.”

“What?”

“It is important. Was there one in particular you were attached to?”

Carla interrupted me, “Bob, slow down. Please explain why it is important.”

I took a deep breath and sat on the bunk opposite them as they sat up on their bunk. So, I explained my thinking and reasoning. That took some time, and they had questions, especially about the anomaly being a potential emotionally enhancing drug. Were their emotions real?

How the fuck would I know? What was important was not if they were real but how we could use them to help Soph live.

Apparently, they disagreed that it wasn’t important. Fuck, that discussion went on too long. Fuck emotions in general.

Eventually, we got back to the dogs. Seriously, I could have just fast-forwarded the last hour. I am pretty sure I zoned out, so I wasn’t paying attention anyway.

Dogs, and Carla and Soph’s emotional connection were now the main topic. How do we use that to form a link and smooth the mutation? Ensign Jeong had the smoothest mutation yet. How much of that was due to the emotional connection? We don’t know, but it is worth trying.

To do that, Soph would concentrate on the dog that seemed the closest to her dog when she was growing up.

She still wanted to try forming a link, especially with Carla, but Carla had mostly talked her out of it. I was afraid she would grow envious of our link and become bitter. That needed to be raised, so I blurted it out.

“Shit,” Carla said, “it might happen.”

“If I am honest, I am a bit envious now,” Soph said.

“You know he ignores or suppresses most of his emotions, so most don’t come through the link. Being able to read his strong emotions means I can manipulate him better,”

“I am right here,” I reminded them.

“But… I want to show you so bad how much I care,” Soph said.

“You do, my love. You already do. It takes more work, but that is how I like you showing me. Through the things you do.”

“But you can just sense his emotions.”

“Darling, he is an emotional Neanderthal. It took a fucking anomaly even to get him to think outside his cave, let alone actually take a step,” Caral said.

“Hey, I am right here!” I said.

They ignored me. Carla continued, “We, my love, are the Mozart compared to his caveman smash. I love the little things you do that are just for me. They show me your love. Our symphony does not need the emotional crutch the Neanderthal needs. We know how to communicate beautifully.”

“You’re sure?”

“Very, but it is you that needs to be sure.”

Soph looked into Carla’s face for a long time. Eventually, she said, “It is you I trust.”

I decided the Neanderthal needed to have a say, so I said, “Ooh, Ooh, grunt, grunt, smash, smash.”

They threw things at me. How the hell did I end up in this situation? The world has already gone to shit.

When the discussion wound down, it was very late, early, in fact. Before we went to bed, I was surprised by two big thank-you hugs from the ladies. That was … nice.

Apparently, I had given them hope and clarified a way forward. I am just hoping there was some truth to it and that it helps. Damn it. Sophia is worming her way in already.