Novels2Search
Bakemono-ni! How NOT to become a god!
Chapter 8: A convenient setup

Chapter 8: A convenient setup

Well, well, would you look at that? I'm already in, and I think I already see people in front of the door to the big mansion; getting through the gate was pretty simple; now I must just go past these guys. The old guy's garden felt huge, and it took me a long time to arrive near the house's door.

The garden had lots of flowers and other plants that all looked a little too lively for my taste, but not my house, so I must just keep those opinions to myself. There's also a water fountain right in the middle of the walk between the house doors and the gate, which is kind of cool.

I mean, look at this place; even the walkway is better built than the roads in town. It's kind of unfair if I say so myself. As I look around and slowly walk toward the entrance of the mansion, I hear the sudden movement of leaves near me to my right, so I obviously turn around in the direction of the sound.

{Ambush noises}

"AHAHA! YOU'RE DEAD!" Says a very faint yet feminine voice coming from behind me at a breakneck speed, still not fast enough to warrant the use of Oni's fury. The girl was simply too slow, so I caught her right arm before she could manage to punch me.

The punch barely makes my hand move back in the slightest, so I simply look surprised at whoever this mischievous and daring girl is. Maybe she was the daughter of the old man? Or perhaps a grandchild? Anyway, I should probably say something as the girl looks distressed. I caught her punch with such ease.

{Suika just wants to help - Tatsuya Kato (加藤達也)}

"And who are you?" I finally say something to the girl as she tries to kick me in the jewels right after I finish my question; luckily for me, I've seen that move one too many times, so it's super easy to dodge. I did have to let go of the girl's hand, however.

"How dare you not let me punch you! I'll Tell my dad! WAHAHAH!" Her dad? Suddenly, the little gears in my head slowly turn into a theory of whom the child must be with that simple phrase, don't tell me this was the brat I was supposed to look after?! {Cymbal-banging monkey toy noises}

Still, why would she be mad that I didn't let her hit me or whatever? I'm not anyone's punching bag, do you know? No matter how much you pay me, I will not be someone's punching bag. You could pay my entire life salary daga kotowaru! [I haven't finished sketching this bit; I'm SORRY! +Head banging against the ground while asking for forgiveness+]

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"Was I supposed to let you hit me?"

"YES! You should never avoid a hit from me! I need to discipline you better!" As the girl speaks, I can already tell why nobody else was down to fulfill the old guy's commission. If this is how this little girl always acted, no wonder everyone refused and called a suicide mission! Damn, you all!

To the girl's defense, she looked pretty big for the cute little face she had, so she was probably two or three years younger than me. It's not like I can ask a girl their age; that's a cardinal sin. In any case, by the looks of her fancy dress and her fancy sword in her hip, I could tell she was someone important at the very least, still kind of annoying.

"Listen, pal, I don't know who you are, but I'll make something very clear right now. I'm nobody's punching bag, you hear?" The girl looked surprised with her crying eyes at the fact that I didn't a damn about her fake crocodile tears, nor did I care if her father was super-mega wealthy or whatever.

To put it in other words, she was left speechless, not knowing how to respond, perhaps for the first time in her whole life, probably because nobody had ever talked back to her in the way I had. I mean, come on, some ass-kissing is nice and all, but everything has its limits.

"Uh! UHH! I! UHH!"

"Did the cat eat your tongue? Hey there?" By the looks of it, the little girl had something I like to call a "seizure." It's basically when someone who's always used to getting everything and anything they want does not go their way; she's just standing there frozen, not knowing what to do with the denial information I just gave her, which is concerning.

"Oh! There you are, my little angel Pista!" A sudden familiar voice comes from behind us, and it's none other than the little brat's parent. Or my employer, in other words.

"Hey, there, mister! I got everything I needed to get for the trip and, uh. I think I met your granddaughter." The lord of the house looks at me and then at the frozen 'little angel' with a weird look. He is also surprised she's just standing there and not saying anything back to him.

"What happened?" Now, Mister Money Man slowly makes his way toward us with the help of his nearby guards. He gets close in no time.

"I think I broke her. All I said to her is no, and she just froze like this."

{Sigh}

"I knew this would happen, but that's also why I chose you. You don't look like any of the others who allow themselves to be pushed over by anyone; you're the perfect one for the job." Said the old man in a surprisingly calm tone, like I passed some kind of test on him or whatever.

"So, tell me. Was it all a setup to test me or something? Did I pass or what?"

"Uh? It gets even better! You're correct! I was the one who instigated my little angel to try and take you out so she could keep making excuses not to take her magical test. I'm surprised you figured so much with very little; how do you do it?"

"I use my brain, I suppose. To be honest, it was way too convenient, and your timing was also too perfect not to be a setup." Soon, we even forget that the girl is still just there processing as her Windows 98 had crashed with the blue screen of death.

"Come in, come in. I'll show you the horses and stuff you'll need to take with you. As for her, let's just give her some time to process her feelings alone for a little bit."