Alex shook his axe, what looked like half a burnt rat was stubbornly refusing to be dislodged. Eventually he placed the head of the axe on the still burning ground and pressed down on the chest and arm with his boot. With a wet sticky noise that caused the professor to make a retching noise the body part was removed. It fell into the fire and was quickly consumed.
“What a waste of time.”
“At least it was quick.”
“Quick? That took… 5 minutes? How would I feel if I got to Viracocha and he had just died?”
“You can’t carry that.”
Alex spun to look at the professor.
“I can’t… are you saying that the fate of the Multiverse isn’t riding on my shoulders? You’re saying that I can stop what I’m doing and someone else will stop the Trono?”
“Till, you-”
“Really professor, who else will do this? Who would accept a Pantheon, get connected to a God but get no Chosen benefit for it? Then get given a Quest that results in constant obstructions just to potentially get the chance to go to the UnderVerse, a place that by all accounts is where the biggest pricks reside, a place I'll remind you, where I’ve been tortured already, all to try and save a God who just so happens to be the bloke who built the Earth’s the System uses. All while getting hounded by fucking rats!” Alex swung down with his axe, splitting a dead rat in half and causing a Firestrom to spring up which scattered the dead and spread fire over a larger area. “Shit, that wasn’t… shit.”
Alex spent the next 10 minutes making sure the fire didn’t spread while gradually calming down.
“Feel better?”
“No!” Alex grimaced then held a hand up and sat on a partially burned tree that had been knocked over by the Firestorm. “Sorry. I don’t feel better but I’m dealing with it.”
“This is dealing?”
“I’m functioning, I can’t promise more than that.”
The professor smiled then nodded slowly, seemingly accepting the situation.
“What now?”
“Now we find this Outpost. Recover the,” Alex looked around with both a distinct lack of subtlety and continued in a hushed tone, “the item.”
The professor looked at him and shook her head.
“You’re so weird.”
“Agreed.”
They started moving and the professor fired off the occassional pulse until Alex stopped.
“Can you do any System mumbo jumbo and show me what the terrain looked like when the Scouts came through?”
The professor grimaced and shook her head.
“The records from the 15th Century aren't detailed enoigh for that. I can potentially… with a little…”
Alex watched as the area around them shimmered then it was like dust was floating up from the ground until it formed a ghostly diorama.
“Amazing.”
“Thankfully the original professor had extensive records on this area and a number of palaeontological digs took place in Nevada, otherwise,” she waved her hand through the diorama, “this wouldn't be possible.”
Alex walked up to the floating shoreline and walked around it, then out at the present day river behind him.
“This section here,” he indicated an area roughly halfway between the dam and Lake Mohave, “it came further to the west when the Scouts were making their way up the river, we start there.”
“Why?”
“Based on your projection the river ran up against those hills,” he pointed south, “they would've considered them to be more defensible than open terrain. Can you pull up the area where we found the… cave drawings?”
The diorama shimmered then was replaced with another projection.
“Based on this… this is where we found them?” The professor nodded at where Alex indicated. “That area was similar. A defensible cave in an area with multiple caves, close to the water for food, high enough to watch if anyone was approaching, either by land or water. These guys were experienced Scouts, they’d select a place that they could defend if necessary but more than likely a place they could escape from quickly to avoid combat.”
“This is why you were second in my class, you see things a lot of people don't. That and your incessant need to read everything you could find on Incan society”
“I just try to think like Maddy would've. She'd be far better at this than me.”
With that they took off at a fast run, Alex being eager to keep moving.
Archaeology Site Located
Quest - Earth 0 | Incan Outpost Archaeology Site
Find all of Historical Significance at the Site
“That still feels like cheating.”
The professor fired off a pulse, this time the ring of light curled back on itself when it detected the Outpost then sank into the ground leaving a hazy blue outline visible underground.
“We’ve talked about this, we can go back to the old way, I can just deactivate-”
“No, no. It’s very useful.”
“I do what I can.”
“Thanks professor. This'll speed everything up.”
A grid pattern shimmered into existence over the subterranean Outpost and Alex caught the thrown shovel.
The midday heat was diffused slightly by the breeze coming off the river when Alex threw the shovel back to the professor.
“I took the liberty of-”
Alex jumped into the hole as the professor withdrew a ladder she'd liberated from the Station House. With a shrug the ladder edge returned to her Inventory and she phased through the ground until she stood in a remarkably large cave that was clear of loose dirt.
“Till?”
A mumbled reply came from behind a wall and was quickly followed by a fist, then a knee, then another fist, then an Alex.
“That's one way in. Honestly though, I expected you to dig right in.”
Alex looked appalled.
“Right into an archaeological site? Not on your life. I dug down to the entrance so when I finally entered-”
“That's what we’re calling you going all ‘Hulk Smash’ on the… boulder covering the entrance?”
“Who? I still had some anger to work off. It was the only way to ensure I didn't damage anything.”
Alex withdrew his axe and allowed the last of his anger to trickle through his connection to the weapon causing it to light with an inner fire. The professor nodded then not to be outdone, increased her luminance to fill the chamber with a soft blue light.
“Handy.”
Returning the axe to his Inventory he paced around the cavern,
“There's no niche.”
“Yes there is, take a minute Till and look.”
Alex closed his eyes and counted to 5, then took a deep breath and slowly released it. Then after stretching his back he walked back to where the professor was standing and looked around, then down.
“How?”
“Viracocha sent them on this mission. Presumably because he didn't want to create any more Earths. Is it too surprising that he gave his Followers something to aid them?”
“This was before the Integration though. Centuries before.”
“The Onix Trono managed to send a group of Adventurers after them.”
“I guess dad decided not to play fair, when his opponent wasn't. There are stories…”
“Dad?”
“What? I did it again?” The professor nodded. “Odd. Anyway, there have always been those stories, the Incas receiving knowledge, even technology from…” Alex waved towards the ceiling.
Alex walked forwards then knelt in the middle of the cavern. He bowed his head and didn't move, even when the professor gasped. His Incan armour flowed over his body before setting in place, then it began glowing, projecting tiny lights on the walls, floor and ceiling.
“Yaykuy.”
The word flowed into Alex's mind, much like how the armour had flowed over his body and seemed to flow into the rock causing it to shimmer and pulse. As he uttered the word, ‘rise’, the glass floor that had been caked in mud and small rocks seemed to liquefy, revealing a pillar of stone that rose before him. The pillar spun when it reached a certain height displaying a hollow interior. It was Alex's turn to gasp. Within the pillar was a set of robes that seemed to be woven with the light from the very stars.
“Incredible.”
“Agreed.”
Alex reached out and brushed a finger over the garment.
“They're metal. It's like they've been woven and forged. Incredible.”
Qallariy (Beginning), Viracocha's Robes of Creation
Celestial Robes
(Viracocha's Regalia of Creation 2/11)
The Robes worn by the Incan God of the Cosmos while creating Earths
Celestial Grade Armour
Armour Stats:
Resistance: High
Durability: n/a
Weight: Medium
+100 Intelligence
+100 Wisdom
+100 Charisma
You are of insufficient level to wield the armour
You are not a God
“Well, at least we know that hasn't changed.”
“You not being a God?”
“Yeah.”
“Was there any doubt?”
“No. I mean, I did come back to life.”
“The System, or some God's, I'm still unsure on the specifics, resurrected you.”
“Well, let's Scan the rest of this cavern and keep moving.”
“Should we just leave the other pillar?”
“The other…?”
Alex looked to where the professor was pointing and hurried over.
“Bloody hell, that would've been embarrassing.”
“Would've been…”
“Yeah, yeah.”
The Professor snorted and walked away releasing a pulse of light at a wall covered in faint drawings. Alex looked into the niche and smiled before reaching in and extracted two items, a thick golden bracer and an ornate silver headband.
Quest Updated
The Quest:
Recover all 11 pieces of Viracocha's Regalia of Creation
(4/11)
“Why do I feel like leaving 3 items at one location wasn't what Viracocha would've wanted?”
The professor looked over and scanned the items Alex was holding then shrugged.
“As long as they were spread out I don't see it being an issue. Whatever he gave the Scouts to hide them should've been enough. They've stayed hidden for this long.”
“I guess.”
Looking down Alex took the time to Scan the items himself.
Ch'aski (Dawn), Viracocha's Left Bracer of Creation
Celestial Grade Jewellery
(Viracocha's Regalia of Creation 4/11)
(Viracocha's Bracers of Life 1/2)
A bracer infused with the Essence of Creation, containing the blueprints of life
The Bracer is part of a Set
+50 Intellect
+50 Constitution
+50 Wisdom
Allows the Wearer to remove a harmful debuff or heal 50% of their total health. If a debuff is removed no healing is possible for the time remaining on the removed debuff. Must be in contact with the Earth.
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
You are not a God
Quyllur Llautu (Star Band), Viracocha's Headband of Creation
Celestial Grade Armour
(Viracocha's Regalia of Creation 4/11)
A headband containing a complete record of every Earth created or to be created by Viracocha. The wearer of this headband is bestowed with great knowledge and wisdom
Yachaypaq kay Pachamama pachapi, kay willaymanta qhaway
"Knowledge holds weight on every Earth, shining brighter than the stars."
+500 Intellect
+500 Wisdom
You are of insufficient level to wield the item
You are not a God
“Honestly, I feel like the System is just rubbing it in…” Alex looked up to see the professor staring at the bracer in Alex's hand, “Professor?”
“Till, put that Bracer on. Right now.”
“Ha ha, professor. I know I'm not a God.”
“Till! Read the item description!”
Alex pulled up the screen he had waved away and his jaw dropped.
“Holy shit. Surely that's a mistake.”
“Put the fucking Bracer on, Till.”
The professor's voice came out as a hiss and Alex hurried to equip the Bracer, then held it up in front of his face.
“It isn't armour.”
“That could be why… Celestial Grade, that shouldn't be possible. Maybe…”
“Maybe?”
“Viracocha is no longer on this Multiversal Plane, he chose you, albeit in his weakened state, beating out the others of the Coricancha. Mama wanted you as her Chosen, but he chose you. That connection, admittedly tenuous, must, by its very nature in the System, be-”
The professor broke off as the golden Bracer lit with a bright white light which slowly faded into the white of his Incan armour then flowed around his jacket sleeve before forming against his skin shining white with constellations formed of silver and gold. Sliding his jacket sleeve back revealed the Bracer, which had once been the length of his wrist, thick and golden was now sleek and white. It also extended up his forearm only stopping just short of his elbow.
“Well, that happened.”
“It isn't meant to. Till, this isn't right.”
“What do you mean?”
The professor leaned closer to the new Bracer while frowning.
“Your Incan armour, the Coricancha have Celestial Armour, their Chosen don't. I've searched all the records, all those I have access to and there is no record of an Adventurer having Incan armour. Something isn't right.”
“I'm not complaining.”
“Neither am I, Till, don’t misunderstand me. Anything that keeps you alive, well, I’m overjoyed with something like that. But I don't understand it. Viracocha seems to have some sway over the System.”
Alex looked around the cavern and shrugged.
“Did you record all of this?”
“Of course.”
“Then we keep going.”
With that he walked to the hole he'd made, crouched slightly then jumped straight up, leaving the professor shaking her head.
“He says he's never watched any superhero movies. Till, if you jumped from a high height, how would you land? With one leg extended? A classic three-point landing?”
The professor floated up through the ground above the cave until she joined her companion as he swung down with his axe generating a Firestorm on the surface, pushing all the dirt back into the hole.
“I'd probably land and roll, or crouch. Honestly, I’d more than likely break an ankle. Why?”
The professor shook her head and started walking, following the river south before calling over her shoulder.
“I don't believe you. You’d definitely land like Black Widow.”
Alex shook his head, visibly confused.
“Black Widow? Who? What are you talking about?”
Current Dig Site
Completion - 100%
All Artefacts Recovered
Bonus Archaeology Quest
Quest - Earth 0 | Incan Outpost Archaeology Site
Find all of Historical Significance at the Site
This quest is only accessible for 24 Earth 0 hours due to the proximity of an Adventurer/Archaeologist who has completed previous parts of The Quest
This area contains a site where an Incan Scouting party initially made camp then set up an Outpost after being forced to divert down an unknown river while evading a highly aggressive Onix Trono Raiding party from another Earth
Site Accessible: 23:59:58
23:59:57
23:59:56
Quest Complete
Quest Rewards
500 A-Grade Credits
2000 B-Grade Credits
5000 C-Grade Credits
97,000 Experience
Level Up
Level 60 Reached
Display Compact Adventurer Description?
Yes/No
“Yes… I guess.”
Name: Alex Till
Race: Human (Earth 0)
Class: Fire Warrior
Level: 60
Strength: 338
Inner Fire: 232
Constitution: 202
“Oh, that’s better. Reading through everything every level was a lot.”
----------------------------------------
“I really should keep an eye on my Map.”
Alex ducked as a large sword swung over his head before dropping to the ground and rolling away as a second sword swung in from behind. Kicking out while lying prone on the ground he sent a half melted sword skittering away and over the bank into the Colorado below.
“I did warn you.”
“You said, and I'll quote,” Alex sprung to his feet, narrowly avoiding an overhead swing that left the tip of a large glittering red sword partially impaled in the ground, “looks like there's something up ahead.”
“I wasn't wrong.”
Alex spun to see a sword swinging at his face and without thinking he moved his arm up to block. The sword stopped suddenly leaving Alex and the unannounced swordsman making unexpectedly close eye contact. The jubilant look on his attacker’s face was replaced with shock when Alex didn't cry out, instead saying one word and smiling as he felt a raging inferno stir within, something reflected by the fact that his eyes were suddenly lit with their inner fire.
“Oops.”
The swordsman's eyes went wide as Alex extended his right arm to the side calling the Volcanic Axe back from the quietly burning body of the first sword wielder whose sword was now rapidly sinking in the Colorado below.
“Guess that means it's my turn.”
Alex shoved with his left arm, pushing the sword away violently before swinging his axe horizontally until it slammed into his attackers chest armour, after taking his arm off. With a second attacker down, Alex spun to lock weapons with the third Warrior, smiling as the man behind him fell to the ground beside his now detached arm all while screaming in pain.
“Your turn. Head or legs?”
The woman in front of him grimaced then attacked. Swinging wildly with her large weapon she attempted to force Alex back.”
“You could… at least… tell me who… you are… and why… you’re here.”
“You’re just a job.”
“This again. Church of Morris or… the Onix Trono?”
The swordswoman rocked back, visibly surprised.
“The Church. How?”
Alex kicked out, created some space then Scanned his opponent.
Name: Cordelia Penelope Sinclair
Race: Human (Earth 51)
Class: Titanic Warbringer
Title: Weapon Master
Pantheon: Church of Morris
Level: 62
“Bloody hell, Titanic Warbringer? That sounds awesome.” Then looked at her armour. “I thought you’d be bigger.”
“I am.”
“It’s an Ability isn’t it?”
The Titanic Warbringer looked up and smiled.
“Might of Titans.”
Alex watched fascinated as the swordswoman seemed to swell, her muscles expanded and she grew significantly. Throughout the entire process the grin stayed fixed on her face though the pain was evident.
Alex looked up at the woman who was now closer to 7 feet, well over a foot taller than her previous height. Her armour had grown with her, expanding to contain her impressive musculature. Then she replaced what had been a large sword with a truly massive war hammer.
“Impressive.”
The grin was now more of a grimace and her veins were significantly more pronounced and an unpleasant combination of grey and black. Waving at the change Alex took a step forward.
“Is that because of Morris?”
Cordelia Penelope Sinclair lifted a large hand, removed an even larger gauntlet and surveyed the veins, her eyes widened slightly.
“Our God Morris provides us with the tools needed for every task.”
“So he gave you some of his Necro-fuckery to… kill me?”
“My task was not to ask, but to comply.”
“Good, good. You're fully brainwashed, that's good.”
"Till, maybe don't provoke the gigantic woman with the massive hammer?"
Alex looked at his companion then back at the Titanic Warbringer and shrugged.
"I think I can talk her down, deep down she knows that Morris is a colossal fuckwit. Surely."
"Till... really?"
Cordelia Penelope Sinclair growled then hefted her war hammer and advanced then stopped suddenly, looking down at her now one armed accomplice, then at the pile of ashes that had been the third member of her group.
“Weakness!”
With that she stamped the head of her hammer down on the Adventurer’s head, which burst like a grape being hit by a hammer.
“Wow. I'll admit, I did not expect you to do that. Professor?”
“No. That was unexpected. You did provoke her. I did warn-”
“Weakness is filth.”
“Well you have some of his… ah, head filth on your boots now.”
Alex helpfully indicated the combined blood, brain and bone that coated her boots and greaves.
“Your fires will burn away any contamination.”
“Nice to know you're prepa-”
Alex barely had time to move, Cordelia Penelope Sinclair swung at his head with her hammer.
“Bloody hell, the shaft extended.”
Putting his axe away Alex crouched slightly then as the hammer swung again he moved to catch the head. It worked, but he was driven to the ground and was kicked hard in the side of the head. For the first time he noticed the spikes at the toe of her metal boots, spikes that penetrated his cheek and left him spitting blood.
“Volcanic Fury.”
Alex ducked the next swing then jumped off the hammers head as it hit the ground, launching himself into the air and punching the Titanic Warbringer in the face. The two combatants stood staring at each until Alex looked at his fist then back at Cordelia Penelope Sinclair's face.
Launching himself off her hammer had embedded the head deeply in the ground so Alex took advantage by swinging repetitively at the only exposed area of her body. Landing punches and reversed elbows on her face. Eventually the skin cracked, blood spilled and he heard the sound of her nose or cheek breaking.
“Titanic Onslaught!”
She spat blood at Alex as she called on her next Ability, then the grey colour in her veins spread covering most of her face and the black colour stayed as it was.
“Apocalyptic Sundering!”
Alex took a small step back as Cordelia Penelope Sinclair's weapon glowed with a sickly yellow and the ground around it blackened, as she tore the weapon free Alex saw the grass and soil in the area start to wither and die.
Then his HUD helpfully started flashing, flicking his eyes to the right he saw “Radiation Warning” blinking below the image that represented him.
“Till, I think her hammer is also a nuke.”
“That makes no sense.”
Alex dove to the side as an enraged Titanic Warbringer swung at the area where he had been standing. The resulting explosion blew him further away.
“Her hammer is a baby nuke! What the actual fuck?”
Looking up Alex saw cold eyes staring at him. With a deep breath Alex jumped to his feet and rushed forwards.
“Die.”
“Not today lady.”
Ducking under another swing Alex jumped left, grabbed the hammer’s shaft and swung himself behind Cordelia Penelope Sinclair.
“Primal Fury.”
Alex clenched his fists, jumped onto her back then looped then fiery chains around her neck then allowed himself to fall backwards. Smoldering Embers sprung up below them, fuelling Alex's fire damage and reducing her movement speed. The Titanic Warbringer dropped her massive hammer which fell on the headless corpse with a heavy squishing noise, she then dug her gauntleted hands into the chain trying to pull them away. Volcanic Essence coursed into her body, eating away at her flesh and armour.
Alex started dragging her, slowly but surely he pulled her huge armoured body towards the bank. Cordelia Penelope Sinclair kicked and fought the whole way.
With a sigh Alex pulled her closer then with a roar he spun her so she faced the river then shoved her over the edge.
“Last Stand Obliteration.”
Her voice came out more like a wheeze, but it was followed by spikes that shot from her armour and impaled Alex in multiple places, then dragged him over the edge with her.
“Till!!”
The professor’s voice was the last sound he heard before Cordelia Penelope Sinclair hit the water, which resulted in Alex slamming into her back, which resulted in the spikes, which pulsed with the same sickly yellow as her hammer, being driven deeper into his body.
Critical Hit: Volcanic Essence. Alex Till lands Killing Blow on Cordelia Penelope Sinclair (Level 62).
32,000 experience gained.
You have Radiation Poisoning
You are Drowning
Looking at his HUD Alex saw that the radiation warning was now an ominous red colour and there were multiple areas of his body affected. He was also bleeding from multiple spike wounds, wounds that still had spikes in them and his grand plan of forcing the Titanic Warbringer to drown due to her immense weight was now an issue. The spikes tethered him to her lifeless corpse which was being dragged down to the depths of the river.
With a jolt Cordelia Penelope Sinclair settled on the river floor.
Loot Received:
15 x A-Grade Credits
1x Attribute Token (A-Grade)
Alex braced himself, squeezed his eyes shit and grit his teeth then gripped the spike that had slammed into the left side of his chest and tore it from his body. His vision darkened and he floated free for a moment. Gritting his teeth again he tore another 4 spikes free leaving them to sink and nestle against the Titanic Warbringer's body which was slowly shrinking back to its original size.
Alex clenched up as the lack of oxygen and blood joined forces with the radiation coursing through his ravaged body. With all that remained of his strength he stroked up to the surface trailing blood from his wounds as well as his eyes, nose and ears.
“Till, are you…”
The professor trailed off when she saw her young companion. She floated above the river nervously wringing her hands.
“I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do. I can't interfere in your fights, definitely not to the level where I'd be saving you from an Adventurer’s Abilities.”
Alex coughed weakly as he floated along, thankfully heading south.
----------------------------------------
Alex resurfaced from oblivion a husk of his former self, shivering and depleted of energy washed up on the bank of the Colorado. Rolling to the side he ran his tongue over his teeth and spat blood, then slumped back.
Radiation Poisoning - 2:32:17
Debilitated - 4:32:17
Digging deeper revealed that the Radiation Poisoning would drain his Strength and Constitution while, similar to a Bleeding Debuff, slowly ebb away at his heath.
Debilitated however was just how it sounded. While he hadn't lost any Attribute Points, they were all reduced to 5 while he was Debilitated. Something that explained his current situation, he hadn't felt this useless since the Integration.
With a sigh he closed his eyes and counted to 5, desperate to slow his rapidly bearing heart and try to wrestle back any amount of control he could.
“Professor?”
His voice came out similar to how an old man on his deathbed would sound… or someone with severe radiation poisoning. A wet chuckle tore its way violently up his throat and between his ragged lips.
“I'm here.”
The soft, almost fearful response came from behind him. Alex's eyes snapped open and he strained to move, quickly tiring himself.
“No, Till. Please.” The professor's voice broke. “Please don't move. I'm here.”
The professor moved closer until he could see her without moving and he felt himself relax. It was like a physical weight, one he hadn't even been conscious off, was lifted off his chest and he could breathe slightly easier. His lips cracked and bled profusely as he smiled which made the professor cry softly.
“I'm sorry.”
Her voice came out barely above a whisper.
“Nothing. For you. To. Be. Sorry. For.”
Alex started coughing and felt like his axe was buried deep in his own chest.
“Please Till, don't speak.”
The professor buried her face in her hands and wept.
“Why… why are you crying?”
“You have Radiation sickness and you're… you're…”
“Not going-" Alex coughed blood all over himself. "to die.”
"That wasn't reassuring at all."
With a weak wave Alex displayed his debuffs between them which oddly made the situation worse.
"See?"
“With your Attributes reduced, how long can you keep yourself alive?”
Alex looked back at the debuffs, then at the rest of his HUD, then gulped painfully. With Constitution reduced he'd die from the health drain from Radiation Poisoning long before either debuff faded.
“Well, that-” Alex was interrupted by a violent fit of coughing which left his face and chest even more splattered with his own blood, “sucks.”
“Activate your Bracer.”
Alex looked at the professor uncomprehendingly before remembering the newest addition to his gear.
“Ch'aski.”
Alex spoke softly through scabbed and bleeding lips, before he lost consciousness, skin and hair flaking off his body as he thrashed on the ground.
Choose Debuff to remove
“Ra… Radiation-”
Radiation Poisoning removed
Healing blocked for 2:31:11
2:32:10
2:31:09
Half of your Credits have been taxed by your Faction, The Clark County Resistance
“What the fuck?”
Alex's subsequent coughing was interrupted by the next System announcement.
Your Faction, The Clark County Resistance has purchased a Multiversal Communication Array
“That'll… that'll probably help.”
Alex slumped back on the ground completely spent.
“Till, are you…”
“OK? Not even close. Will I survive? For now. What a fight though. Titanic Warbringer… awesome. Not totally sold on the nuclear fuc… hey! You swore, back in the Incan cave.”
“It was a tense moment, mistakes were made.”
Alex laughed then winced as a spikes of pain drove through his entire body, from multiple directions, repetitively and aggressively.
“Shit, the sucks. Radiation is a prick.”
“That Bracer, the debuff cleanse doesn't match up with what I'd expect from Viracocha.”
“You think it was altered?”
“I think it should've been a burst heal. That would've been great until you had to contend with the two debuffs which should've killed you.”
“Lucky I guess?”
“Very.”
“If Viracocha is making changes I'm glad he didn't go with your suggestion. Now, the tax situation. How do I get in contact with the Captain?”