In which independent choices collectively make one big mess.

By all accounts it was a day like any other, fulfill the same necessary activities for the continual existence of the crew, get a shipment of supplies so nobody starves for long, and repair Station #DX192 so things could move forward at last. All normal stuff you would see on any other working ship out there in the field. However, as some poor delivery people would witness, the crew of Starbinder were not normal that day. No, sir.

Let’s imagine it from the perspective of an outsider: you arrive to supply a government ship in the middle of nowhere, next to some kind of derelict station being encased in a “safety net”, and you are met by a fellow Karnakian officer who runs the standard paperwork of the trade. You are tired and overworked, so you don’t mind that the (cute) raptor in front of you has a vacant stare and their body language is devoid of life. “She’s probably tired like me.” You think.

Then, you notice that every crewmember from this ship has that same energy (or lack of energy), and they keep whispering “what have we done…” as they work with the effectiveness and organization of high quality drones. That’s when your brain sets foot on the uncanny valley and you start to question if your exhaustion is playing tricks on you. But, just when you believe it’s all in your head, your crewmates drag you aside and tell you they are seeing the exact same thing.

Now you start getting nervous, hoping you and your crew didn’t stumble upon some kind of secret cult or something else (like an eldritch being…). But you dare not question it, since you don’t have to stick around for long, and you have the gut feeling that if you do, you will end up like them or worse.

Praise the Gods! The final paperwork is signed! So you and your crew book it out of there like you left your stove on and your house is on the other end of the galaxy, burying the whole encounter in a collective secret, lest it haunts you ‘till you die.

That was the impression others had of the current Starbinder, as it carried on living without living, trapped in its own episode of the Twilight Zone.

Indeed.

Though the crew had rejoiced that the Potatoes had been rescued before being claimed by the Beast called Research Station #DX192 Titanic (MCMLIV), the whole affair had only reminded everyone of a universal truth: everyone is stupid.

Hundreds of thousands of years of space culture and technology mean little when everybody has to go through the same learning curve and, thereby, commit the same mistakes. Mistakes that can prove fatal when done within an unforgiving environment (or lack thereof) such as space.

At first, the crew were (rightously) mad at their leaders for not ensuring the safety of the Potatoes before things got out of hand, and Captain Arasha’Ssabi and the Elite Four of Starbinder (The Doctor, COREMASTER, Kr’Re’Ki and Mk’Kre) acknowledged their responsibility and sincerely apologized to the crew for their fuck up. But, before a mutiny could change the political climate within the ship, the Captain presented evidence that at every point in the chain of action (from the intern to the Captain herself) a single act of gross negligence occurred.

You see, the interns and researchers were tasked with moving the scientific equipment and stuff, which included the Potatoes themselves. But they said “Leave the Potatoes for last, we cannot move them until the crew gets their room ready within Starbinder.”, so they all focused on just moving everything else.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

The Doctor and his medical team were tasked with moving all medical equipment and stuff, which included part of the training equipment within Potato Zone. But Doc said “Leave that equipment for last because the Potatoes are resting and we still need to confirm where we are going to store all this.”, so they all focused on just moving everything else.

The warehouse foremaster and her crew were tasked with moving all the non-medical and non-scientific equipment that was not nailed down, which included part of the stuff within Potato Zone. But they said “Leave that stuff for last, we already got too many smol things to store or recycle and engineering still has to break some equipment free for us.”, so they all focused on just moving everything else.

Mk’Kre and the engineering team were tasked with dismantling any valuable equipment that could be damaged in-route so warehouse could store it aboard Starbinder, and everything else would be secured instead, which included part of the equipment inside Potato Zone. But Mk’Kre said “Leave that equipment for last because this smol tech is too fragile and its going to take more time.”, so they all focused on just dismantling and securing everything else.

COREMASTER and the security team were tasked with ensuring everybody followed safety protocols and to watch for emergencies, which included the Potatoes themselves. But COREMASTER said “Focus on the crew and the danger zones, the Potatoes are safe in their den, so we don’t have to worry about them until they are moved to the ship.”, so they all focused on just watching over everyone else.

Meanwhile, on the ship, the rest of the crew were tasked with making space for all the stuff coming in since the warehouse foremaster was busy in the station, which included preparing the Potatoes’ new den. But they said “Leave their room for last, we still got to figure out where to put all this stuff and we haven’t been told which room we should prepare anyway.”, so they all just focused on organizing everything else.

Kr’Re’Ki and the comm-squad were tasked with keeping everyone communicated and following objectives, which included the Potatoes themselves. But Kr’Re’Ki said “Everyone is fulfilling their duties at record speed, so let’s relay the news that are popping up right now and leave the Potatoes for when they are moved.”, so they all focused on just the activities being completed first.

And, finally, the Captain had the task of supervising the whole ordeal, which included the Potatoes themselves and their new den. But she said to herself “The crew is working so fast, if I don’t keep tract of their activities they will clash with one another. I can leave the room designation for last and worry about the Potatoes until then.”, so she focused on her crew’s other activities.

Add to it all the time factor of we want to get the fuck outta here now, and every single crewmember completed their tasks in record time, going to their limits until they forgot a common objective they all put aside: The Potatoes themselves. And why? Because midway, they all entered a neat little state of mind known as “fuck it, its good enough” which is highly dependent on normal work routine, and their normal work routine, as it turns out, included leaving the Potatoes in Potato Zone because that’s their “home”.

Only three individuals aboard Starbinder had been immune to this collective effect, The Bean Squad, and only because their own fuck up had excluded them from the whole ordeal (an irony that did not escape COREMASTER, but that’s a story for later). So, it was a blessing they had the will and skill to pull off a rescue on behalf of everyone else, balancing their karma in the eyes of the crew (though it did not lift their punishment).

And with this evidence in the open for everyone to see, Captain Arasha’Ssabi and the Elite Four of Starbinder prevented a mutiny that would surely bring the attention of the higher-ups even faster, as the whole crew fell into a state of guilt and shame that prompted them to git gud from now on.

Thus, Starbinder transformed for a time into a copy of a smol film called Equilibrium, with its denizens fulfilling their work with high efficiency, but devoid of emotion and passion.