In which irony saves the day.
(And the writer struggles with the plausibility of his silly fanfic. We do it live!)
Wednesday: 7 minutes after The Realization.
“[…DEPLOY R.A.F.T. TO #DX192 AT ONCE.]” Commanded COREMASTER to the crew. “[THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT. NOT. A DRILL.]”
“
“[WHAT]” Said COREMASTER confounded, immediately moving to the station of the officer relying the information. “[How!? This should have raised an alarm during the meeting! Who’s out there?]”
“
“The Beans? Why?” Thought COREMASTER in silent bewilderment, staring at the video feedback of three particular officers…
Tuesday: 18 hours before The Realization.
“
“[So?]” Said an old Karnakian sitting down at the office of the Recycling Sector of Starbinder, paying little mind to his current serpentine visitor as he idly filed some forms.
“
“[They are not coming down here, that’s fact.]” The feathered raptor gave him a dismissive look. “[Now, go back to work. Once your shift is over you can inquiry all you want about it.]”
“[Yes, sir…]”
LANCER exited the small office to slither back to the main hub of the Recycling Sector, where a myriad of workstations for breaking apart items and scrap of different shapes, forms and materials, where lined up in a grid. He was a bit miffled that he didn’t get his answer, though he admitted the foreman could just as well know nothing; however, it was his attitude he didn’t like. Granted, the foreman was like that because LANCER and his friends fucked up, but the old Karnakian didn’t need to be so rude about everything now, did he?
“[Got news?]” Said ARCHER, his dark-grey Karnakian battle buddy, upon seeing him return to their designated work area. His feathers had subtly puffed to attention at his presence.
“
“[That’s neat.]” Said MACER, their reddish-brown Dorarizin battle buddy, without looking up from her machine, tail wagging a bit in acknowledgement of LANCER’s return. “[So when they inevitable show up, we can just throw up our claws and go “Well, shit. How where we supposed to know?”.]”
“
“[Do they really think this ship is big enough to stay away from them?]” Said ARCHER.
“[Can they even convince the Potatoes on getting in the ship?]” MACER chuckled out loud.
“[Hey, you right.]” ARCHER chuckled too. “[How are they getting them out? Are they gonna put them inside a stroller and take them away?]” The three shared a few chuckles.
“[Oh! I know!]” Said MACER. “[They’ll take away their ball and go all “Here, poto~ poto~, come fetch it!”]”
The three laughed, much to the chagrin (but also amusement) of the full-time workers of Recycling (who did share a few chuckles). The comments themselves were born from an innocent insensitivity everyone in the crew shared to some degree, since in their social context, the Potatoes were funny savages that would either act cute and childlike half the time or surprisingly mature and cunning the other half (which isn’t saying much, to be honest), so it was a natural reaction to think the Potatoes could be lead into compliance with child-distraction tactics.
Then, a thought crossed LANCER’s mind, stopping him cold. “
“[Of course they won’t.]” ARCHER chuckled confounded, looking at his buddy. “[As if they would fall for that trick anyway.]”
“
“[Uh, why would the crew do that?]” Said MACER a little unnerved by the serious implication (and the look on LANCERS’ eyes).
“
ARCHER and MACER nodded. In that particular experience they also spent a lot of time in-mission due to an engineering issue that prevented the ship from jumping long distances in hyperspace, and by the time they got to their destination, the crew was so fed up with it, they collectively entered drone mode and completed the job without thinking much of things. The end result was a container of Aluminium that someone wrongfully put with the current delivery, and nobody thought of rectifying because “it wasn’t their job” (even though it was at the time). The natural attitude of a frustrated crew doing missions out of their career expectations, and the best(worse) part? It wasn’t the only time they did it.
Everyone listening realized the possibility of it happening again was real and could be worse.
“[But.]” ARCHER chuckled anxious, fidgeting with his feathers. “[They wouldn’t let that happen with living people. That would be beyond idiocy.]”
“[Yeah.]” MACER was getting worried of LANCER’s intent, ears and tail tucked away trying to shrink her presence. “[What makes you think it could happen this time?]”
“
There was an awkward pause.
“[Oy!]” Said a random Dorarizin worker. “[Stop your depressing babble and get back to work, mate! We don’t need more dark shit around here!]”
The three turned around to see the other workers were giving them an unapproving look. They exchanged brief glances amongst themselves, then got back to work in silence.
Wednesday: 5:38 hours before The Realization.
LANCER was disgruntled, staring at the ceiling of their room thinking about nothing as he laid on his (not big enough) heatpad. The chaos outside was sending noise and vibrations from everywhere, as the crew of Starbinder continued their express evacuation of station #DX192 in light of the completion of the safety transport net by engineering, which was getting annoying now that he didn’t have something to do.
Normally the crew’s activity would be good news for him, as it meant they were about to depart and (with any luck) finish their mission soon, which meant they could finally reach a port and take a few days off ship. Not this time, though. They have been left on house arrest since their superiors refused to reveal the location of the Potatoes, and since they were not supposed to cross paths with them, that means they were not allowed to go to the mess hall to eat until things got under control, which means starving for who knows how long before they fix a new schedule.
LANCER’s belly growled.
“[You ever wonder why stomachs shiver to let you know you are hungry?]” Said ARCHER, his dark claw poised on his chin in philosophical thought as he sat on his bed (also staring at the ceiling).
“ Said LANCER, his tail's tip flipping intermittently to force his blood to carry heat to it (as it couldn’t fit on the heatpad).
“[What if it’s the other organs pocking at it like “hey, give us something”?]”
“
Goreep The door opened.
“[‘Sup, uglies. I’m back!]” Said MACER upon entering their room, carrying a grey sack in her fluffy shoulder. Geerop The door closed.
“[Welcome back, butterface.]” Said ARCHER from his nest on the wall.
“[Thanks.]” MACER sat down on the center of the room and put the sack down, grinning. “[I’m glad you think I’m hot.]”
“[Only ‘cuz you train your body, butterface.]” Said ARCHER smug.
“[Too bad you don’t train yours, lardtart.]” MACER chuckled, rummaging in her grey sack and pulling out some snacks. “[Now, guess what I got.]”
ARCHER and LANCER sprung from their spots upon seeing the shiny bags and moved to sat down near their wolf battle buddy, closing a circle. “
“[I just asked a pack friend if they could get me something from the mess hall.]” Said MACER, handing ARCHER a bag of Ohoho’s Tasty Rings*.
The dark Karnakian squealed in delight. “[You magnificent bastard! How many did you get?]”
“[Eh, just a handful.]” MACER shrugged, opening a bag of Meateors* to eat. “[My friend didn’t want to get me too much either.]”
“
“[No probs.]”
There was a pause as the three subdued their hunger with (unhealthy) snacks.
“[So.]” MACER broke the silence. “[I asked around and I have a pretty good guess the Potatoes are still inside the station.]”
“
“[Why are we even stuck here then?]” Said ARCHER, a few rings getting stuck in his teeth. “[It’s not like they are going to pass through the barracks.]”
“
“[Yep.]” MACER nodded, chewing some snacks.
There was another pause for snacks.
Their insistence on knowing the location of the Potatoes wasn’t just because of their punishment, but because they felt a kind of rivalry between them, a “connection” if you will, since the two groups had a suspicious similarity in their dynamic that was a bit uncanny. They were a group of three, with each member a sample of each specie, each fulfilling a specific role (brains, spirit and muscle) and all seemingly young adults in the spring of their lives. Really, had MACER been male, they would have been mirror images of each other since there was no other group in the crew like them. Which is why the “Bean Squad”, as the three young officers had been baptised by the security team, attempted to do The Boot on them in the first place.
It was a mix of envy and jealousy, for sure, but there was also a sense of admiration because of the Potatoes’ exotic brand of shenanigans, which made the dull life of space travel much more tolerable. The Bean Squad knew those three were always up to something because of their “smolness” (as the users of the GalNet would call humanity’s many quirks). How did they get that “smolness”? Hell if they knew. But it reminded everyone of the simple things in life and that parties need no reason to happen (especially naked parties). And that alone was reason to ensure their preservation.
On the other claw, the Beans were also fond of pranks and fun stunts, so they saw in the Potatoes a prime opportunity to try new things. Once they get the chance.
“[Are we still challenging the Potatoes down the line?]” Said MACER, licking a loose tooth she just found because of the snacks.
“
“[Yew bet yer fluff.]” Said ARCHER calm, teeth now full of misshapen candy he was trying to lick away.
“[Good, so we all agree.]”
“
His battle buddies had been aware of his melancholic mood and had a good internal guess about what it was, as the seeds of worry had already bloomed into a beautiful flower of concern inside their minds as well. So they decided to break out a card game to pass the time and help distract their snake pal (and themselves) from everything.
“[Alright, switch unevens…]” Said MACER as the three got immersed in their game.
And the hours flew by once again…
Wednesday: 37 minutes before The Realization.
“[I managed to catch a good glimpse of the party upstairs.]” Said ARCHER, reporting back on the Bean Nest after visiting the lobby, where a couple of officers were “attending” the ship-wide party (called by the Captain herself) through a projection on the wall. “[No sign of the Potatoes in the Bridge.]”
“
For the past two hours or so, his concern about the Potatoes’ ultimate fate had grown to the point he couldn’t ignore it anymore, and his squadmates shared his sentiment. It wasn’t just a random feeling now, it was an honest-to-goodness gut feeling, and they needed to act on it somehow, because nobody deserved to die a slow hopeless dead aboard a derelict space station in the middle of nowhere.
Unfortunately, everybody still refused to tell them anything about the Potatoes, and they also ignored their warning because they thought it was a prank (which LANCER thought fair, actually). So, they resorted to (little by little) venture to the edge of their “zone” to eavesdrop on conversations and ask “innocent” questions about the current status of the evacuation, from which they would gather the locations that did not have the Potatoes. Which turned out to be all of them, since there where zero potato commotion anywhere (and the Potatoes where incapable of staying still).
Now, I know what you are thinking, how could they know if the Potatoes didn’t enter the ship after they had already discarded a given location?
For one, there was only one entrance to the ship, which MACER was in charge of watching by asking her Dorarizin pack friends about it once in a while (as it turns out, Dorarizin are more open to share some information if you are still considered part of the pack, regardless of punishment). On second, about an hour ago, the ship separated from the station and word of mouth had confirmed that engineering had closed the station’s port (the last part to be sealed by the net), so their search tactic had become their present “discard within the ship” method. And it was also about this time, when they confirmed that the crew had entered that sweet zone called “somebody else is dealing with that”, as everybody’s refusal to answer their main question had boiled down to “I don’t know anyway, go bother someone else”.
“
“[Ready.]” Said his battle buddies, finishing fixing the last parts of their basic equipment.
“
The three exited Bean Nest acting like it was just another day, fully aware that their plan was hinging on a fragile straw that at any point could break apart, so they relied on raw confidence to pull it off. It was all going to be more than just putting cream on a fellow officer’s gun barrel or making a jam grenade, after all.
“[Where are you guys going?]” Said a Dorarizin officer upon seeing them pass through the lobby of the barracks, bringing their presence to the attention of his partner, a Karnakian.
“
“[COREMASTER is busy right now, you know.]” Said the Karnakian.
“[We can do the training and then send the metrics to him, you know.]” Said ARCHER without missing a beat.
“[Ah, right.]” The officers knew that was true -in non-obligatory training, that is. But as long as they were fulfilling their punishment, they were not going to question it. So they returned to celebrating as the Bean Squad exited the barracks towards their goal.
You would think the crew would be more uptight about their actions, but in truth, the crew didn’t care much as the Beans were smart enough to not push their tolerance limit, so only their superiors were keeping track of their moves for the sake of their punishment. Besides, everyone was busy celebrating their (hopefully faster now) progress, so it was easy to pass unnoticed straight to the R.A.F.T. quarters below the “neck” of the ship’s Bridge, where nobody was present to interrupt the next step of the plan.
The R.A.F.T. quarters were no more than a hangar housing two ambulance ships and a couple of rooms fitted with the necessary equipment for rescue missions, given that Starbinder only qualified for the most basic of safety utilities. Upon entering, the Beans headed to the nearest console.
“
There was an exchange of smugness amongst themselves, as they loved whenever a plan ran smoothly (as their plans were always flimsy as fuck). Although, in reality it was to hide their tension and uncertainty about what had to be done.
“
ARCHER and MACER exchanged looks.
Before today, the few rescue missions they had done were under “controlled” conditions, with veterans taking the lead and comm-officers relying vital information from the mothership, leaving them with only the most basic things to do. And now, they were jumping straight to the fray, with no backup or intel whatsoever, following their guts.
“[Pfft! So, what?]” ARCHER shrugged after an awkward moment, acting tough to reassure himself. “[Fledglings must shed their down feathers at some point.]”
“[Yeah, let’s take this hunt right to the prey’s den.]” Said MACER, reassuring herself by bumping her clenched fists.
“
Basic rescue training was an obligatory part of military training, so every officer could be eligible for the R.A.F.T. if needed. Those who took the advance training where defaulted as team leaders during missions, and in the case of the Beans, LANCER was the only one certified to deploy their R.A.F.T. unit, which he did under the pretense of a “training exercise”. (They did say they were going to do their obligatory training, after all.)
Somewhere in the Bridge, a console issued a silent alert that a R.A.F.T. unit was preparing for deployment, but it was duly ignored in favor of an on-going party.
It took the three rogue officers only a handful of minutes to be fully geared, exo-suits sealed and ready to go. Then, ARCHER (their de-facto pilot), got onboard an ambulance ship in the hangar, started its engine, and felt a surge of adrenaline pass through his body as soon as he felt the engine hum. “We are really doing this.” Thought the dark feathered raptor, tensed with a mix of fear and excitement.
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“[Ambulance seems to be in order.]” Said MACER, elated by the bittersweet taste of forbidden action, done checking the ship’s status in coordination with ARCHER while LANCER finished loading for their mission.
“
“[Roger.]” Said the raptor, working the ship’s controls and closing all its doors. “[Automatic deployment initiated.]”
The hangar flared with emergency lights and a warning siren begun to let anyone around (if there was any) know not to step in front of the ambulance, as it was pushed forward by a set of rails leading to the airlock chamber that separated the hangar from space. Yet another alert was sent to the Bridge, but it was ignored in favor of the Captain’s speech.
BREEOONK The chamber’s inner door closed to seal Starbinder’s atmosphere, initiating the decompression process, both around and inside the ambulance (which was connected to a special hose), to later open the outer door to the great void.
And the stillness of space beckoned them.
“
“[Yes, sir.]”
The ambulance was released from its umbilical cord to its mothership, which reeled back into a “piston” on the ceiling before the ship was ejected from its rails and sheepishly made its way out in search of its target, outer door closing behind.
The three tensed up, as they were now on their way to face oblivion in all its forms.
And there, about a mile away from their current position, enclosed in a huge safety net made of metal and other materials, awaited the dreaded smol deathtrap #DX192.
“[I found the port.]” Said ARCHER with a sense of relief that immediately turned to a scowl. “[Ah shit, guys, we forgot about the shield! How are we supposed to disable this thing?]” ARCHER entered a staring contest with the energy shield filling the gaps in the structural net, the ethereal thing mocking his puny ambulance.
FUCK was their shared sentiment as the three realized they have reached the breaking point in their straw-grade plan. LANCER gave himself a facepalm for not considering this important issue, while MACER clutched her forehead in impotent frustration. It was the second time they had failed so hard, and of course it had to be when the Potatoes where involved…
“[R.A.F.T. B.]” Said a male voice in their comm-beads, surprising them. “[Remain in position on standby.]”
The three tensed up once again upon identifying COREMASTER’s voice. They knew they would be found out eventually, but they were hoping it would be after they had rescued the Potatoes. Or, at the very least, after they had thoroughly confirmed they were wrong and the Potatoes were never in danger.
“
“[No.]” Said COREMASTER stoic. “[Save it for after the “exercise”.]”
Then, the shield “panel” blocking the station’s port door was disabled.
“[Engineering has given you access to the station.]” COREMASTER’s tone carried a hint of relief and faith. “[Carry on with the “exercise”, R.A.F.T. B. We’ll keep an eye for you.]”
“[Yes, sir!]” The three collectively responded, regaining some confidence as their superior’s brief interference confirmed two things simultaneously: 1) they were right and the Potatoes were in the station, and 2) they now had official permission and backup to rescue them.
“
“[Yes, sir.]” ARCHER turned the ship around to position it a yard away from the port’s door, backdoor facing it, then worked a few keys in his controls. “[Distance parameters calculated and set, automatic pilot engaged.]”
“
There were more keystrokes and command inputs, then the ambulance shot a series of “chains” from six points around its backdoor that physically anchored themselves to the station’s hull, surrounding the port’s door and forming a “hexagonal bell” bridge.
“[PAS parameters ready. On standby.]”
LANCER and MACER released themselves from their seats and floated to the door to wait. “
ARCHER activated the ambulance’s Portable Atmosphere System, sealing the bridge that connected them to the station. “SEAL SUCCESSFUL” Said the computer. “PROCEED TO NEXT STAGE?” “[Ready for second stage!]” Said the Karnakian.
Then, LANCER opened the backdoor.
PWEESH Escaped what little pressure had remained inside the ambulance post-decompression, trying to fill the new vacuum size.
“
BWOOOH Air began to fill the vacuum from a pair of compressors carried within the ambulance’s structure.
It seemed a bit excessive, as the ship could have carried the same air pressure from Starbinder and save itself some of that air, but given that gases trying to fill a vacuum could exert quite the punch (depending on the opening), it was decided that protocol should be to de-compress the inside of the ship before deployment to prevent its inner pressure from “sucker punching” the occupants whenever they open the door during a mission. Besides, de-compressing in-route was not as quick as on the mothership, and given that some missions may not even need to use PAS, having the R.A.F.T. deal with de-compression in the field everytime they exit the ship was deemed a hassle.
“STANDARD PRESSURE LEVEL REACHED.” Said the computer after a few seconds, stopping the compressors. “COMPRESSORS AT 73% CAPACITY.”
“[We are set.]” Said ARCHER, leaving the cockpit to join his squadmates at the open backdoor, the three exchanging brief looks of determination (and a hint of fear) before nodding in silence.
“
“[Found it!]” Said MACER, jumping (gently) from the ambulance to float towards a small lever near the port door surrounded by yellow/black stripes. She landed on all-fours and immediately felt a magnetic sensation reaching out to her exo-suit. “[Hey! Gravity is still on in this thing! Mind your step.]”
“
MACER broke the lever with a single pull of her (enhanced) claws. “[GAH! I’m so sorry!]”
“
“[Roger that.]” The armored wolf arched back with bloodlust, presenting her enhanced claws. “[HERE WE GO.]”
CLANK She stabbed her claw through the hull like butter, telling her all she needed to know about its resistance as the force sent a shiver through the station. And knowing that… CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK She proceeded to open #DX192 like a can of tuna.
“
KOREEEK MACER pulled away the hull piece in the shape of a rectangle, and the air pressure punched them, rocking the three and the ambulance for a brief moment before everything quickly stabilized on its own.
“[UGH, didn’t you say the parameters were set?]” Said MACER, who got hit full force by the annoying pressure shift.
“[They were. But that’s no guarantee in this godforsaken thing.]” ARCHER frowned, getting some of his wits back.
“
The armored wolf did as told, swinging inside the clawed hole to land on her boots with subdued metallic noise, as the swing’s arc left her neatly standing on the port’s hallway. Then, as soon as she turned around to face the ambulance, she was met by her serpentine squadmate, who had anchored his tail so he could stretch across to hand her their equipment, repeating the process until they had everything needed on board.
Afterwards, the others boarded #DX192.
“
“[Loud and clear, R.A.F.T. B.]” Said a female voice on the other side.
“
“[Negative.]” The voice hid a trace of guilt behind professionalism. “[We are sending you a map of the station.]” The station’s hallways were highlighted with colored lines as a 3d map was superimpossed on their exo-suit’s visors. “[Follow the blue highlight to reach [Potato Den] in the shortest route. Good luck, R.A.F.T. B.]”
“
They sped up their pace to follow their new objective, but their added layers of volume clashed with the already crammed hallways, forcing them to walk in a line and preventing them from moving faster than a brisk walk. In fact, walking faster felt like a terrible idea, as the floor whined under their weight as soon as they tried, despite the floor being reinforced aproximate to their standards (one of the first “upgrades” done by engineering after the humans left the station). If it wasn’t for their map telling them there were more rooms in every direction, they would be paranoid about breaching the station’s hull just by touching on it.
It also didn’t help ease their minds hearing the droning noise of the remaining electricity, or the eeriness of the flashing emergency lights, or the “foggy” stillness in the air, all of which gave the place a sense of claustrophobia that felt as if the station was going to implode at any moment.
“[GAH!]” ARCHER broke the silence from behind their convoy after accidentally hitting a door frame while passing through a bottleneck corner. “[Goddamnit. I hate this place.]”
“[Heh. Told ya you should train some more, lardtart.]” MACER chuckled nervous, taking the moment to vent a bit.
“
Rescue missions were never a fun affair, but there was just something about the station that felt off and made their (first exclusive) mission all the more stressing. As if the station itself was haunted and now they were walking into the beast’s-
GRAAAAWR!
A guttural howl of defiance boomed through the station, catching them off guard and putting them on high alert, back to back, staring at each end around them in search for its source.
Oh, how they wished they had guns.
“[THE FUCK WAS THAT?]” Said ARCHER, clutching a box like a weapon.
“
But MACER recognized the source after her initial spook was gone. “[That was [Alistair]!]” She perked up. “[It came from that hallway!]” And pointed at a fork in their path up ahead.
“
“[Yeah, who else could it be?]” She tried to nudge him forward without damaging their equipment.
“[The eldritch abomination that made up this bizarre station?]” ARCHER gave the hallway behind them the stink eyes.
“[Come on!]” MACER got pushy now. “[Hurry!]”
“
“[Understood, R.A.F.T. B.]” Said the female on the other side. “[We are sending you a possible location and route based on its analysis.]” And their 3d map was updated.
The Beans got a slight morale boost upon seeing their new objective closer than before, and they discarded their fear in favor of walking faster (so they could get out faster).
“[[Alistair]!]” Howled MACER with a mix of urgency and hope. “[[Paul]! [Cecil]!]”
A short and bittersweet awoo answered her howl, and the three made haste now. They were closer than the projected location.
“
There were some faint cheers resonating from Starbinder, but they died quickly as everyone stared in horror at the video feed of the Bean Squad, where the Potatoes could be seen laying in a body pile, motionless (and it was all because of their collective negligence).
The Beans reached their location and got to work as fast as they could, struggling with their equipment due to the crammed space and their own nervousness. It was clear they needed a better place to do their preparations if they wanted to be swift. If only the hallway was a part of the storage room by its left…
“
“[Roger that.]” The Dorarizin interrupted her own struggle with the equipment and proceeded to cut down the wall with her claws. CLANK CLANK CLANK Groaned the structure in pain (And the engineering team aboard Starbinder winced at the sight). BRONK Fell a rectangle chunk of wall due to the remaining gravity onboard, dispersing the still air in the empty room.
“[R.A.F.T. B.]” Said COREMASTER on their comm-beads as MACER removed the debri from their way. “[Keep destruction of property to a minimum. You do not want to expose yourselves to danger due to structural failure!]”
“
“[Roger that.]”
The dark-grey Karnakian moved to the now open room and layed three white “boxes” on the floor, pressing a few buttons on them to activate their function. The boxes awoke with blue light and lifted themselves with anti-gravity, transforming into elongated shapes with a soft material in their middle end-to-end. Then, he synchronized the stretchers’ simple app with his exo-suit’s integrated digital interface and set the necessary parameters to “push” the floating devices with his mind. “[Stretchers ready!]” Said ARCHER.
Meanwhile, LANCER and MACER had fitted the Potatoes with oxygen masks, confirming to their (and everyone’s) relief that they still breathed -if barely-. They noticed Cecil Noodle’s temperature was dangerously low, and thus decided to move him first, carefully removing Paul to the side so they could drag the ruby-red snakeman away from the body pile.
“
“[I am being careful.]” The reddish-brown wolfgirl complained, as she was their main muscle in the operation. And being the strongest also meant being the most destructive, so a part of her always felt overtly conscious about messing up delicate jobs (like moving people), and his comments were perceived as condescending.
“
“[I know.]” She frowned.
LANCER did not pursue the matter further for there was no time for discord and he did not want an angry Dorarizin on his neck later on. “
“[On it.]” The dark-grey raptor tried to remove the white jumpsuit from the unconscious Jornissian while his squadmates gently held his body, failed to do it properly, then proceeded to rip it to shreds instead. “[It’s not like he needs it right now.]” ARCHER chuckled nervous, “nonchalantly” discarding the piece of clothing before fitting Cecil with a thick green vest that covered his entire torso.
LANCER was feeling the weight of every little setback, but he kept quiet. It was their first “unattended” mission, he reminded himself.
ARCHER activated the vest’s integrated life support system and a warm sensation hit Cecil in seconds, eliciting an instinctual shiver from his body. It was brief but palpable, as the Beans positioned him over his stretcher, tail curled over his body to fit before being gently restrained with soft straps.
“[One set, two more to go.]” Said ARCHER.
“<[Paul] is next.>” LANCER confirmed, knowing from their brief inspection that the emerald-green Karnakian was colder than the silver-blue Dorarizin next to him, and, based on the howl that led them there, probably had been unconscious for longer as well.
“[Why don’t we take both now?]” Said MACER, her own interest surfacing in a mix of worry and need, as she went for Alistair’s body instead, clogging the remaining crammed space in which the two Potatoes layed still. “[I can handle [Alistair] by myself while yo-]” The cold angry glare of her snake leader let her know he wouldn’t take that kind of shit right now. “[Roger, sir.]” She picked the green raptor as intended.
And the previous process was repeated, with ARCHER ripping the clothes (after failing again) to put the life vest on his unconscious parallel, Paul’s body reacting to the sudden presence of heat and other good stuff, and LANCER and MACER strapping him to his own stretcher.
“
“[Right.]” MACER tried to shrink her presence, embarrassed, and yet elated at the idea of handling the local “popstar” (on her first true rescue no less!). So she went straight for Alistair and lifted his body with the gentlest hug she could muster, feeling through the exo-suit the softness of his fluff and mane. Oh~ What a comforting sensation~ It was like hugging a life-sized (and handsome) teddy bear.
“
“[Right. Yes. On it.]” She began to follow his lead towards the stretcher, holding Alistair by her lonesome (much to LANCER’s chagrin). And yet again, the vest process was repeated. Ripped jumpsuit, vest on, strap on stretcher.
Alistair seemed to smile as he layed on his stretcher, like if his body knew he was safe now. And the Beans let out a sigh of relief, forgetting the urgency of the matter for a moment.
“
Cheers of joy resonated from within Starbinder.
“[Understood, R.A.F.T. B.]” Said the female comm-officer. “[We have updated your map with the shortest route back to the ambulance.]” A new update was installed on their visors. “[Evacuate the station immediately. Engineering has confirmed the imminent failure of the gravity generators.]”
There was a brief exchange of looks. And the Bean Squad remembered they were still inside the chaos abomination known as #DX192.
“
The convoy took to the hallways in a single hasty line, each Bean followed by their parallel Potato in their floating stretcher. The prospect of losing the artificial gravity wasn’t a hazard in itself, it was the implicit idea of staying longer floating inside the dreadful smol station what got them to hurry. Although, there was no denying that transporting unconscious people in microgravity wasn’t safe.
Then, as it’s always the case in most rescues, they encountered yet another obstacle when they tried to turn a familiar bottleneck corner and realized the stretchers couldn’t pass, as the clearance was just not enough to allow turning the stretchers at any angle without forcing the occupants to scrape against the walls and ceiling.
“[GODS PUNISH WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS DAMN STATION.]” Said ARCHER, the one in control of the stretchers, trying to turn Cecil’s stretcher without hurting him to no avail.
“
Then, after a moment, LANCER stopped.
“[R.A.F.T. B.]” Said COREMASTER on their comm-beads. “[Do not idle in place. You still have to return to the ship.]”
“
“[Nicely done…]” MACER grinned at the destructive work of his snake buddy upon passing through, the stretchers now turning the (defeated) corner with ease.
ARCHER just let out a bewildered whistle as he passed, appreciating the beautiful cathartic results (and wishing they could do it to the rest of the station).
Things were picking up speed again as they traveled the remaining stretch of their journey. But, alas, fate is always in the mood for trolling.
“
“[OK]” ARCHER did as told, as he and MACER got hold of their parallel Potatoes to protect them from the suddenly unruly devices. The stretchers lost their blue light and returned to be subservient, floating in peace, though they could no longer move on their own now.
LANCER was undeterred, but he frowned nonetheless. “
“[Oof!]” MACER crashed against a wall yet again, awkwardly positioning herself to prevent Alistair from hitting something.
“[Guh!]” ARCHER didn’t have it any better, being constantly crushed by Paul’s stretcher whenever he needed to turn.
“
And their suffering would continue if mission control didn’t step in. “[R.A.F.T. B, turn on “drone” mode on your stretchers.]” Said the female comm-officer a bit embarrassed on their behalf. “[They are not malfunctioning.]”
The Beans stopped to exchange looks, and then ARCHER fiddled with the app and found the mode she was talking about. The stretchers turned a purple light, and through sensors in their edges they automatically positioned themselves at the center of the hallway. Oh, they collectively chuckled in embarrassment, having forgotten such a basic detail due to lack of field experience and stress.
Now they could carry on with less worry. (Although, their embarrassment was hard to swallow.)
Then, finally, the three reached the station’s port, where the soothing hum of their ambulance awaiting their return, called for them through the stillness of the air. The tired officers thanked any and all deities, as they felt as though they had spent a century inside the crammed station, even though it had been about half an hour since their breach.
Without wasting any more time, they got onboard their ambulance ship, swiftly strapping the three stretchers carrying the Potatoes to specific hook devices, leaving their equipment back on its containers for safety, and closing the backdoor to catch their breath now that they were out of the influence of #DX192.
“
“[Roger.]” The Karkanian smiled briefly, floating to the cockpit to strap himself to its seat while his squadmates took their own seats, and began to work the controls.
With their mission effectively close to completion, they too had now entered “drone mode”, acting just enough to get through the last step. “[PAS disengaged.]” Said ARCHER, releasing the hexagonal bell bridge that connected the ambulance with the station, and allowing the remaining air pressure in the station to escape in a single punch.
AAAH! Screamed the Beans as #DX192 “roared” at their ambulance, pushing it away spinning vertically.
It took the automatic pilot a moment to regain some control and stabilize the ship, at which point they stopped screaming.
“[R.A.F.T. B, are you alright?]” Said a female comm-officer.
The Bean Squad didn’t answer. They just sat there, hearts racing, questioning their life choices and wondering what sort of angry spirit lived inside #DX192 that hated them so much.
“[R.A.F.T. B, do you copy?]”
There was yet another pause.
Then, the Beans broke in nervous laughter once they felt safe enough and their need to return to Starbinder grew stronger.
“[R.A.F.T. B, are you there?]”
“ Another wave of cheers and relief resonated within Starbinder. “[Understood, R.A.F.T. B. Medical personnel will be waiting for your arrival at the hangar. Good job out there.]” “ And the Beans sat back in silence, finally satisfied with their effort and letting their minds and bodies relax a little as they returned to Starbinder, leaving any future consequence for later. No doubt, everyone would have questions about it and they would be punished for their actions, but, they had succeeded in their rescue of the Potato Crew, and that meant the preservation of a valuable source of entertainment (besides their lives, of course), and that was good. And good feels nice.