In which we are forced to watch Potatoes do things.

The Potato Schedule was meant to last 20 years, and from the beginning, its focus was primarily physical (with only the elementary emotional and recreational therapy sprinkled in between to keep their sanity).

Rise and shine to stretches and cardio, guys. Get familiar with your new natural flexibility and endurance, and while you are at it, know that we are not going to force you to do anything. Boredoom will do it for us.

Always make sure to eat a hearty breakfast, fulfilling lunch and satisfying diner. As your caretakers, we are dedicated to provide you with enough xeno food to keep those handcrafted bodies filled with nutrients and free of harmful toxins.

Keep in mind that you are going to work those muscles from Monday to Saturday, alternating between your top and bottom, working your core and spine, and using all the available machinery we had setup for you in the test room. Culminating your week with a physical checkup to see how far you have grown.

But, don’t think we are funless, guys, we also offer plenty of non-exercise activities. Come Sunday, you will be given the chance to speak with our psychologists to release all your pent-up frustrations and find peace of mind again, and once that’s done, get ready for movie afternoon, where our team of MST3K enthusiasts will send you a random film for your entertainment free of charge!

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

But, wait! Think you still got too much free time in between exercise? Have the Good Ol’ Ball and experience the oldest physical human game in recorded history: pass-the-ball. Perfect for playing with friends. But if you are alone, you can always just change it to hit-the-wall.

It’s all you gotta do, Potato Crew. And the good news are, you have already done it for 14 years!

Hurray!

No need for scientists to tell what needs done anymore, the Potatoes know it by heart already. So, who cares if all humans suddenly disappear? They can still work the machines on their own. Hurray!

And, who cares if dozens of scary-looking alien predators suddenly replace the humans? The Potatoes are jacked after so much training and will protect themselves despite being afraid of all those pointy teeth and claws and weapons and fighting squads. Hurray!

And, who cares if the food suddenly stops coming in? They can-Wait, what?

The food is gone?

And what’s that? The movies are gone too!?

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.

WHERE’S THE SUPPLY CHAIN?

WHO’S TAKING RESPONSIBI-Oh? The alien predators are bringing in food?

Oh…

I guess they are not so bad after all.

Hurray?

Wait. Where are the movies?

UNACCEPTABLE.