Chapter 67

A Guru In The Making

“Don’t worry about your young healer, I am sure she is doing just fine, probably taking an early lunch. Speaking of which, I find myself desperate for a thick juicy sausa...” Trista says, her eyes fluttering wildly like she is crossed between having a seizure and something caught in her eye.

“Bleh!” I nearly vomit at her third? Fourth attempt to seduce me. It is clear she is a slow learner of new skills and even slower on the uptake.

Finally, she pauses, and that is when I go into my lecturing mode. At least with this I have a chance of guiding the conversation. Sorry future guild masters who will get audited by Trista, but this is for my own sanity here.

“Baby, please stop.” I say, channeling my inner Rahul, this time using Glenn’s overwhelming voice.

“Ohhh.” Both girls cry out at once. Finally with them stopped I can go and think for a moment.

“Again, the words, the innuendo that is all secondary. You need to be subtle, you need to let your words accentuate the atmosphere.” I say, I am rubbing it on thick but these girls are finally quiet. Seeing this moment for what it was, I take full advantage and direct their attention towards each other. “Now, why don’t you two try out what you have learned on each other.”

“You want us to…?” Trista asks, pointing her finger first at herself, then at her partner.

Hoping that this will get them to shut up for a moment so I can fix my Guild Hall, I nod as I mentally send out a Telepathic tendril to Zero.

“Zero, you there?”

“Yeah, boss.”

“I’ve never tried it with a girl before.” Trista says, giggling slightly, shaking my head I try to filter out that though and focus on why I contacted Zero in the first place.

“Everything okay over there?”

“Yeah, peachy. Anyways, I need you to stop what you are doing and go out and look for Simulacrum Cass.” I say, hoping that isn’t too hard to grasp.

“Right. Anything I should do when I find her?”

At that I pause, “help her with whatever she is doing, and then come back.”

“Why are you just staring at me all creepily?” The second auditor asks.

“I don’t know, its what he did.” Trista replied pointing back towards me.

“Well stop, its creepy when you do it.”

“I know, should I just take off my clothes to seduce you?”

“That just makes you look desperate.”

“You sure you don’t need me over there?” Zero asks, no doubt hearing the two auditors talk within my office.

“No, I am fine. Just go find Cass and protect her as needed.”

“Do you know where she might have gone?”

I was about to respond with a no, but I stop as I realize I might actually know where she went. I remember the way her mind lit up with the idea of blinding toxin spores. The reason why was my own mind lit up with that same revelation made by Trista. “I think Cass might have gone to investigate the old mine, in particular I think she is investigating possible fungal infection there.”

“Fungi?” Zero asks, a note of excitement filling his voice.

“Yes, be careful, as it seems there might be more than just the fungus as well.” I respond back over our connection.

“Baby, please stop.” Trista says, in a way that sounds like she is trying to get a dog to say it, while simultaneously stepping on its tail.

“Oh, yeah, you definitely need to stop.” The second auditor says, “you are ruining Herby’s lines.”

Herby? Who the heck is Herby, oh wait, that’s me. Good thing I didn’t ask that out loud as that would have been embarrassing.

“Herby, can you teach us?” The second auditor asks, turning away from Trista and turning towards me.

“You want me to teach you two about love?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll go?”

A slight pause as I can all but see Trista’s lip beginning to pout. She is either really bad at connecting to people, something that shouldn’t be too hard to guess given her career path and profession. I mean she was born with a high Tier magical talent in Bureaucratic magic, if that doesn’t say dull personality, then I don’t know what does.

“But I don’t want to.”

“How about this, you officially close out this case, and I will give you one final lesson.”

At that, they both pause. Then all eyes turn to Trista, “oh right, I forgot.”

With that, Trista waves her hands in the air, and I can see the power of Bureaucracy coming to live with her magical influences.

Case File Number: 105873

Location: Crossroads Mage Guild Hall

Suspicion: Improper Quests Used for Exploitation of All Female Staff Members

Conclusion: Falsely accused. The guild master Herbert T. Quencher is above board and one of the few functional parts of the guild hall…

Seeing that, along with the forty or so pages that come after that, she casts one spell to make the forms permanent, then triples her original copy. Then signs her form and casts the equivalent of a Bureaucratic fax spell where all pages are then scanned and sent on. Looking at the process, that seems exhausting, and should be able to be fixed easily. First, there was no reason to change the spell from free floating, to paper, only to then convert it back to magic that would then be sent to the main guild hall. Secondly, why create four permanent copies, if there was a record at the main guild hall?

I shake my head, it is not my job to fix bureaucracy, but I am glad to see that it is just as painful here, even with magic as it is in real life, at least that much hasn’t changed.

The minute the file is sent. There is a slight pause, and a return spell comes back with the following.

Confirm Receipt for one case study.

Case File Number: 105873

Location: Crossroads Mage Guild Hall

Suspicion: Improper Quests Used for Exploitation of All Female Staff Members.

Conclusion Innocent.

Pages: 87

An eighty-seven-page report filled out and filed within seconds and it was still painful to watch.

“There, now that it is filed…” Trista begins, but her voice is interrupted as I receive a notification.

Hidden Quest Completed: Surviving An Audit (SAA): As the self-appointed leader of your Guild Hall, you managed to hide your operations, increase daily quests, divert attention away from you and your Simulacrum, and seduce your auditors. Rewards: Experience, New Guild Rank (for your Doppelganger), Skill Increase, New Badge, New Title.

Experience Gained: 500/500.

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

Ding.

Level up.

Your level in Simulacrum Master has reached level 4.

Your level in Simulacrum Master has reached level 5.

Class Evolution Point: New Class Spell or Perk Available.

I was really happy about the Class Evolution Point for my second unique class, and instantly knew that I would go with the Perk option again. Spells were fine, but I felt I could create them on my own, whereas Perks, that was where the bread and butter were made.

Increased Guild Rank of Master Guild Leader: Role: Herbert T. Quencher

I was at first upset by this, but then I realized this meant that I could level, for lack of a better term my doppelganger bodies, which was pretty cool if you think about it, as it meant that I could complete multiple quests like this, each offering different rewards and best of all ways to grind my skills. I could all but feel the skills I used during this being increased rapidly, though again, I did not want to check for fear of jinxing my skill growth. Instead, I just went ahead and looked at what else I gained.

New Feat Recorded: Survive an Audit Through Seduction (500). You are the first person to successfully navigate your way through an audit through deception and seduction alone.

The badge made sense, especially as this was proof of a tall tale. A level 500 badge being the most one could obtain, so the fact that I now had collected multiple 500 level badges meant that I could work my way into any society, or secret facility, just for the right to tell that story. This was huge, and not even the best one, as I gained my fourth Title.

New Title Gained: Bard In Training: You are a lover not a fighter. If you can talk to it, you might be able to seduce your way out of a fight. +5% Luck, +10% Bonus to Avoiding Conflict, +15% Chance to Seduction based skills and attempts.

While I didn’t so much care for the heavy emphasis on Seduction, I did find the bonuses to Luck and Avoiding Conflict particularly beneficial.

Also, thinking about it, I do think that my emphasis on Seduction, might help me out later on, particularly if I go for a Jane Bond type build or role. Wait, I need to stop, I know most of this is due solely to my recently awakened royal bloodline that makes me especially attractive to sensitives and magic users.

“…Oh come on, you promised us.” Trista says, her lips pouting.

I can tell she is trying, but it is still a bit too much. Shaking my head, I realize I might as well use this to further grind my skills. In my normal avatar such practices are just plain repugnant, but while I’m in other forms, the idea might be a little better than expected.

“Ladies please rise.” I say, gently and controllingly, letting my mimicked voice of Glenn the orc warrior echo out in the room. They rise and instantly come to me. I too am standing, since this is my final act, and they gave me two levels in my class, I might as well give them everything they asked for and more. “Now hold your hands out over my own, do not touch mine.”

They do just as instructed, their hands floating over my own. “Now I want you two to stare into each other’s eyes.”

“What?”

“Stop, don’t fight it, go with your instincts. This is the training that you asked for. This way you can also practice on each other.” I say.

“Maybe you like to watch as well?” The second auditor says.

Playing the part, I just raise an eyebrow and give her a knowing smile before replying, “of course, why wouldn’t I want to watch you two angels learn to take flight.”

You, know, oddly enough, I read and reread that passage to the book club, but finally I think I nailed it. This was when Rahul got the members of his party, not a harem, despite what the censors might say, to get along with each other. Not quite the same, but I figured it would probably work here.

“Now looking into each other’s eyes, I want you to tell me the moment you feel the connection between you. But don’t tell me with words, tell me, no, tell her, with your eyes, and your eyes alone.” Again, it sounds cheesy, but I am finally learning how to say them correctly. There is very little room here, one missed consonant, one misplaced emphasis and the entire spell will be lost, and this is a spell of that I am certain. While there isn’t a true magical force here, I can feel the power radiating between all of us, and it is growing.

New Skill Gained: Aura Guidance has reached level 1. Skill Aura Guidance is a Strength, Personality, Sociability, Attractiveness, Perception, Intelligence, and Willpower based skill.

Seeing the skill chime in my head, I almost lose focus, but shaking my head I quickly regain composure and realize that I am onto something here, something deep and meaningful. Something that I am just scratching the surface of, and it does feel beautiful in a way.

Focusing on this feeling, I focus on merging the dormant energy at the edge of these two females’ auras. Then with a gentle prodding of my own aura, I can almost feel my own aura pushing the two together. Then as if to seal the connection, I generate two tendrils of mana that form from my hand and go up into the two girl’s auras. First I crochet the two auras together, quickly weaving both strands of mana through the different auras. Then in a crossing pattern, I sent the thread that started at my right, through Trista who is now standing to my left. Similarly, I sent the left thread of mana to the right through the second Auditor’s arm. I really should ask her name eventually, anyways I focus. I am just making this up as I go along, but it does seem kind of fun.

Focusing on the two girl’s and their different bodies, I begin to circulate my mana throughout their bodies. I quickly move to the hands, where their nodes are present, but not very active. Well at least Trista’s aren’t. The second auditor has very well-developed hand nodes indicating she is likely very active.

“The First thing you must do is first realize that you both are unique and both are exceptional.” I say, keeping up the role, wondering just how far I can grind that new skill. It seems to be amazing, I mean seven Attributes, not many do that. I channel my spell through both girls at the same time. The line going through Trista pauses and is a lot stronger at her core, meaning she is by far the more powerful of the two mages, at least where mana wells are concerned. I quickly circle around their bodies show that both have a few minor nodes open, but not much else.

“Ohh, I felt something.”

“Me too.”

“Good, that is a sign that your bodies are awakening to the new experiences to the world around you. You are opening up your souls to each other,” I say, then instantly continue with Rahul’s lines, even though they had seemed so cheesy at the time. But now I wonder if they were meant to teach something deeper. In the books this was a way that Rahul awoke the true power out of his followers by carving permanent enchantments onto their naked flesh. At the time I thought it was just an odd way to get the girls naked, but judging by the way these two are interacting, there might be something more to this. “Don’t worry, let the moment take you. Right now you two are strong pillars, nothing the other says or does will tear you down. You are also both two beautiful souls, souls far too pure to be worried about being judged as anything other than being beautiful. Look into each other’s eyes, then tell each other the moment you see their soul come alive for you.”

This of course, is when I circulate the thread of mana through the bodies, into the brain node, then down to the smaller eye nodes and out to each other. Once again causing the threads to pass each other as they go down into the opposite bodies that they started form, and go through the brain node and down instantly to the cores.

“Ohh.”

“Huhh!”

They both flinch up like they had a bucket of ice cold water poured over their backs. I am sweating, as this was a new and complex spell that was apparently very taxing.

Panting.

I am not the only one who is panting, as Trista and her fellow auditor are also panting.

“I see it, I see you, Trista.” The second auditor states through ragged breaths.

“I see, you too, Amelia.” Trista manages through panting breaths.

Amelia, that was her name. Had I heard it before? No, probably not.

“There my final lesson for the day is complete.” I say, I try to appear more put together than I am. Mentally I am spent, as I can all but feel the way my stamina and mana reserves are nearly depleted from such a strenuous exercise.

“Ohh, poo.” Trista says, as she looks very disappointed. “That can’t, be it? I refuse for this to be it.”

“Yeah, you can’t just start this and end it all on a dime like that.” Amelia states.

“My dears, part of this process is for you first to find out who you are, who you want to be, and most importantly who you wish to become. Only then will you realize that a scoundrel like me is no good for the likes of one, let alone both of you.” I say.

Again, am I live acting the role of Rahul now? Or is it just so easy for me to pull these lines out of my mind having read through the entire series twice now.

Also, I am left with the ultimate question of whether this is art imitating life, or life imitating the art that is part of it, regardless there does seem to be something here, and something that I do want to work on.

“Well, if he won’t join in. We might as well show him what he is missing.” Amelia says.

“Wait, what?” Trista asks, suddenly cut off by the rapid change in demeanor of Amelia. But before she can do anything, Amelia lunges forward pulling Trista tightly into a warm embrace and holds her tightly for a moment.

“I never knew you were so open to new ideas and changes.” Amelia offers.

At first Trista looks like she is about to protest, but then she too comes up with a confession of her own. “I never knew you were so powerful, both physically and emotionally.”

With that the two get a dreamy look in their eyes, as they separate just enough to look deeply into each other’s eyes. Seeing this as my cue to leave my office, I decide to leave before I get called on to join this little escapade. I am not against females being with other females, heck I might even want to join in, but not with this old man suit that is suddenly becoming a lot bulkier in places.

“And that is my cue to leave.” I say.

The two don’t seem to notice me as I make my way out as they are now in the middle of tugging on each other’s clothes. Yeah, sometimes I wish I couldn’t see everything, even with my back turned.

The minute I step outside and close the door I am met with a new system message.

Hidden Quest Complete: The Love Guru: You have learned the art of finding ways to bind two like souls in a union of bliss. Rewards: Experience, Title Increase, New Spell (already learned), skill increase.

Experience Gained: 250/250.

Title Increase: Bard In Training has increased to Love Guru: Truly one worth emulating, when it comes to the art of love and its best practices. +5 Attractiveness, +10 Personality, +10 Sociability, +7% Luck, +20% Bonus to Avoiding Conflict, +25% chance to help others find a soul mate, +30% Chance to Seduction based skills and attempts.

My title had increased to improve my Attributes? That is rare, but extremely valuable. I wish I had a Mage Title now, but then again, I don’t think I’ve done anything nearly as hard as this, as the spell I just cast was exhausting. Actually, speaking of which, what was the spell I cast anyways?

New Spell Created: Spiritual Awakening Tier [Tier IX] (C): This spell created by Cassiopeia Spiritlight can temporarily awaken the senses of the targeted individual, leading to an increased growth in Skills, Spells, and other means of Learning. Current rate 10% increase for 24 hours.

*Spell Restriction: This spell must be cast on two people simultaneously, who are both willing participants.

**Warning: May cause unusual emotional side effects.

Pausing, I think about the spell for a moment, then realize first why it was so tough to cast, the darn thing was a Tier IX, secondly it was freaking amazing, increasing the learning rate of an individual for a period of 24 hours? I am not quite certain how that happened. I guess it was the way I cycled my mana through the two of them.

I am about to leave and look for my Simulacrum, and my familiar, when I realize that the two male auditors are still stuck within Hilda’s office.

Shaking my head, I go over to the door to find it magically locked. Fortunately, the pattern is really simple to deduce, and a simple channeling of my mana along the correct lines opens the door.

Click.

“Hilda dear, I was wondering if you by chance worked out that new summoning ritual I sent you?” I say, barging the door open as if it was unlocked the entire time. I don’t need to look, as I’ve seen the entire scene before even entering. The two men have their torsos bared, and gouge marks on their robes and leggings. Hilda on the other hand, is clinging to the overly broad back of the big male and riding him like he was a prized racehorse.

There is a complete moment of silence as everyone stops what they are doing and stare towards me.

“Oh sorry, my mistake, I didn’t realize you were otherwise preoccupied.” I say, as I make to close the door.

“WAIT!” The burly male shouts, as he desperately tries to get Hilda off his back, but she is surprisingly strong for her short size.

“Oh thank the gods.” The skinnier of the two male auditors shouts out, he apparently had been playing opossum as he suddenly sprung to life and sprinted out the door, leaving his friend to his own fate.

“Wait for me.” The second one states, as he reaches out one hand towards the door.

I of course am already leaving the area, my old schtick as the awkward old man who stumbles in on a risky situation already done, and fulfilled to full comedic effect. As if to punctuate my own inner finding, the system awards me with a new skill.

New Skill Gained: Comedic Timing has increased to level 1. Skill Comedic Timing is a Sociability, Personality, Attractiveness, Perception, Intelligence, and Willpower based skill.

Yep, I am definitely using these Doppelgangers to their best, also I find it interesting that I can create a whole persona for each different body. I feel like I have a newfound respect for this Trait, one that I didn’t think was possible before now. But now that I have the ability to operate two bodies simultaneously, I feel that my Simulacrum Mastery class will be even better than I originally anticipated, particularly with the way it synergizes with my base class Void Healer.

I am about to call it all a win, when I realize, now both Zero and my Simulacrum are missing. Focusing my mind, I try to focus on my newly acquired skill Twin Consciousness, with a quick breath, I breath in, then when I exhale I relax my mind and try to imagine what my Simulacrum is doing and thinking.

Surprisingly I synchronize my thoughts almost immediately to my Simulacrum. Then with a shock, I realize why it is suddenly so easy to synchronize my thoughts with those of my Simulacrum. Seeing both my Simulacrum’s thoughts, and recognition that Zero is not only there, but seemingly approving of these actions that my Simulacrum is taking, if their mirrored response is any indication, I just shake my head in defeat, and find myself muttering.

“What have you gotten yourself into now, momma Cass?”