Chapter 276

The (Not So) Perfect Wedding (Part III)

(A Little Over Two Hours Ago)

It was go time.

Well, almost.

“Before we go, can you take me to the Kujo Caverns area?” Penelope asked.

“You mean the murder halls?” I quip back, seeing as that is the name everyone from the guild has given those very halls.

“Yes, there,” Penelope replies stoically, but then smiles afterwards.

Huff.

I just let out a long breath at the comment, as there is not much else I can really add to the comment. As if seeing that she won this verbal spat, she then proceeds.

“I mean it though, if you need an alternate for the King, Penelope, or even you, I’ve got you covered,” Penelope declared, apparently fully committing to the idea that things would go wrong.

“You can?” I ask, but it is really just me making sure I didn’t mishear her.

At that point, she pulls out an extra of every costume I had her made.

Well not costume, but that is the way my mind interprets her results, and the best way figure out how to fill in for her participation. It is at this point that I also realize why she wants to be taken to the highly advanced sanitary and self-cleaning dog birthing chamber, and totally not a murder altar.

“Wait, is that why you are asking to be in the Kujo Caverns? So I can go back and pull you in as needed?” I ask.

“Exactly, this way no one sees me get pulled in, I’ll also be next to your Simulacrum, and my pack, meaning I’ll be completely safe. Then you just come in, switch me out with whatever role is needed and boom, the show goes on.”

Smooch.

At that, I kiss her on the cheek. I can’t help myself, as she is amazing.

Though immediately afterwards, I can feel a slight surge of power and her reaching up to touch her cheek. For a moment, I wonder if I have ephemeral energy, or what others are falsely calling my pixie dust on my lips, which does seem to be the case. That said, she is fine, and there are no issues at hand.

Also, if there are lingering traces of magic, they do not seem to be Time based in their structure, which is all I care about at the moment.

Again, one day I might learn more tricks, but we likely have to get through the doom and gloom of Mallory about to have a panic attack every five minutes for me to experiment properly.

That is how, I create a Positional Teleport with my fourth Simulacrum, the one mainly monitoring the Kujos, now that her masterpiece of Mythical level Enchanting is complete.

So far, I’ve noticed that there is a distinct difference in level of achievements of my Simulacrums. So far, the winners are First Simulacrum, who helped me fool the Mage Guild representatives to think I was being unfairly treated, and fourth Simulacrum. Second Simulacrum keeps insisting that she is close to something with the Fae, and given the way their opinions of the real me change each time I interact with them, I can see that. Which basically leaves third Simulacrum without any real goals, though to be fair, I have given her the side task of both protecting the Prankenstein airship and procuring quite possibly one of the best and or worst items I have ever imagined plucking and placing elsewhere.

Unfortunately, I can’t work on any of these until I am done with this current task, which is why right now, I am helping Penelope get to her intended staging point, and then I am going to take part in my self-appointed roles for this production. And it is a production, the whole pageantry of a royal wedding is nothing more than pomp and circumstances for the average viewer.

In a way I consider this the ultimate magic trick, which might be why I am taking this so personally.

See I can get true magic.

I can see the creation of a spell, the way to push and spin mana particles at a distance to get a desired effect. That is almost second nature by now.

With this though, this is the ultimate form an Illusionary Magic.

By pulling this event off smoothly, I will be a David Copperfield, or maybe Chris Angel, ones who made you think they did magic, without actually doing magic. That is the goal of this entire process, to have this look so smooth and flawless to the average user that they can’t help but think it was magic.

Now, I’m going to use a boat load of magic during this event to give it that magical effect, but to me that is where the true brilliance of the act comes in. Because I hope the areas where people think magic will be used is not actually a thing.

Poof.

As Penelope goes through the portal, I also do a Positional Switch with my fourth Simulacrum, whose job it will be to get to the desired starting point. Her goal is to make it look like she is doing something crazy to the flower petals. But the thing is she can’t. That or it will be unnecessary.

The reason for this, is that my Simulacrum will also make it her job to go out and physically touch and adjust each and every row of pews, trying to dust them off one last time. Making it so the benches have a lustrous shine to them.

That is where the brilliant part of this comes in, while appearing to dust off, my Simulacrum will be dusting on ephemeral energy. Not much, a very small amount that will do two things. First, it will give the pews a lustrous shine that will add to the appeal of the moment, and second it will add misdirection.

To make it so the pews work, I also needed a way to get all the Deolarian cast members to also be paused. That is, how do you stop the Deolarian members who were in the wedding itself, and keep them from blowing the whole operation.

Well that too was thanks to Penelope, due to the fact that she, the first royal tailor, provided all of the uniforms to me. I was then able to add a bit extra to every uniform that wasn’t meant for Mallory, Gwen, Jhonny, or myself.

For this even royal guard members who were standing at the altar would also be in uniform and therefore subject to these restrictions.

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The plan was perfect, which was why I knew a loop would be thrown at me somewhere. Likely in the form of extra guards. But as I will be doing double duty, of flower girl and ring bearer, I should be able to get back and interact with the guards long enough to give them an action released Time Stasis effect.

Then just to add a layer to this, I would also imbue a bit of energy into the petals, but only enough to make it so people were less judgmental about the world around them. Better still the action released Time Stasis effect should last closer to six minutes, despite my only having a three-minute window of Confidentiality to work with.

That is the other act of this, the action released Time Stasis effect actually had two triggering conditions. The first would be my clapping to first start and stop the procedure. The second was a more, fast movement, with the intent to state “I object,” I personally didn’t know if such an act was possible but figured it couldn’t hurt to try.

Yes, every angle and sub-angle were noted and evaluated.

But despite all precautions and my ability to physically alter or change key elements, I still couldn’t help but feel that this would be way too big to pull off effectively.

Our first moments into the Kujo Caverns all but proved this concern, as there in the very center of the room was a very pregnant and stomach pulsing Ms. Kujo, who looked all but near to bursting.

Sniff.

In fact, yes, despite the self-cleaning nature of the chamber, there was still the lingering smell of water being broken.

A quick check showed that not only that, but that Ms. Kujo had dilated a bit, making it so any second the first of many pups would be coming.

For a moment, I thought about just cutting her open right there, pulling out all thirteen children and sealing her back up.

That of course, is when my quest updated itself.

Hidden Quest Updated: Saving the Litter of Godpuppies (Ongoing): You managed to save Ms. Kujo’s litter by preventing a pup from dying due to prenatal deficiencies. Now you must help the puppies be born naturally so that they will all earn a 10% bonus to their experience gains, attribute increases, and magical capabilities. Help these pups achieve a natural vaginal birth to help them achieve their full potential. Current number of pups needing to be born naturally (13 / 13). Rewards: Experience, Bloodline Evolution Perk (Fairy Godmother) activated, healthy birth bonus.

Seeing that message, I couldn’t help but feel that this was a trap.

Also, I understood what this implied. Not only was this a case for the Kujo clan members. But this would also impact Mallory’s granddaughter, well my technical granddaughter now as well. As this would likely apply to the granddaughter’s birth conditions.

Seeing the message, I can’t help but feel that I missed out on my parents not being around. For if my mother could have birthed me, could you imagine the bonuses I would have earned by having a lifetime 10% bonus to experience gain, Attribute increases, and magic capabilities?

Exhale.

Well, that is the first major wrinkle being thrown my way. Not something I wasn’t prepared for, but still, it does help you understand the unnaturally quick growth rate of monsters in the wild. Assuming all monsters in the wild get this 10% growth bonus, then those that go through a birthing process, like dragons and other creatures will be naturally more dominant in the future.

Speaking of dragons, I mentally focus on my arm, where Zero is still passed out.

Not going to lie, I’m kind of worried about the guy. I want to wake him, but I realize he is actually getting stronger. Only now that enough time has passed do I realize that his soul looked like Swiss cheese, with the numerous holes and whatnot. Now that time has passed the holes have begun to fill in, but it is still taking time.

I think he is actually evolving? Or at least that is the best guess I have at the moment, still his having a 10% growth rate means his survival is 10% more likely, right?

Taking one last second to focus on the little guy, I pause and then hold back on trying to wake him. I don’t need to, nor want to, also I have a feeling that waking him, particularly now would be damaging to his future growth. This is why, I note the concern, but then realize that there are even bigger issues.

Golden Qi Infusion.

I choose this moment to help the muscles and ligaments on Ms. Kujo both relax and get strengthened slightly, as her body is currently in the process of preparing itself to dump out thirteen children.

Of course, now is the time that I actually stop to realize that there is going to be a slight technical problem with feeding all thirteen pups.

See the dire wolf only has a grand total of twelve nipples for the pups to suckle from. Now even an out of practice mathematician like me can realize with these supply and demand issues looming, there is going to be a logistical nightmare here shortly.

Again though, glass half full, my current quest only deals with birthing these children. Nothing about their continued existence.

Tug, tug, poof.

Of course, before I can start thinking about ways to solve that now looming problem, I am pulled by my fourth Simulacrum through space and time to the wedding, thanks to Positional Switch.

Apparently, it is now go time.

I take a moment to gather myself and see where I am. I am in front of the whole procession, with my flower basket in hand. Seeing the basket I smile, as I begin to make sure people are redirected to focus on the floating petals as my means of delivering Time Stasis magic to everyone.

Swoosh.

Telekinetically maneuvered petals arc, rotate and give off a gleam of energy as they flow through the air in wide majestic arcs.

Awe.

As the display of magic and brilliance plays out, the crowd lets out a gasp of amazement as I am already taking a step forward to shower the next row with more petals.

By now manipulating so many tiny petals are rather easy, particularly as I mainly keep them in two main clumps that head out away from me, with individual petals flowing down to each person who gathered.

Now I am not saying I’m the best flower girl ever, but if not the best, I’m pretty darn close.

In all I can have three rows of the effects going on at once. I could do more, but I think that would seem like I was showing off, versus trying to set the tone for this wedding.

The tone of course, is a majestic brilliance with the hint of magical undertones, as every wedding should be.

I wasn’t able to help make Gwen’s original wedding special, as it was mainly a justice of the peace and a friend who moonlighted as a DJ coming over to throw an after party. Entirely uninspired, particularly with Gwen just asking for money to start their new lives together on a solid financial footing.

Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well in the long run. Well everything was fine until her husband died in a car accident, decapitated by being rearended and pushed into a truck hauling lumber. Terrible.

Fortunately, I was able to help out a bit with the grandchildren, but Gwen never wanted to remarry. Which is why I mainly feel that this is my last chance to give her a wedding she truly deserves.

I am up at the front of the pews, which is when I take a moment to quickly touch every person up here. The priest, the Deolarian royal guards, Vickard and Melkin, everyone who is not part of the core actors.

With that done, the last petal drops, meaning my distraction time is over, and I Teleport to the back of the church, to grab my keys. During this time, I once again pull my best feral cat impression, brushing by and through every guard in attendance as well, even the ones without royal attendance regalia and proceed to mark them with ephemeral energy.

This is important as I am pretty sure, my Simulacrums either can’t produce ephemeral energy, or don’t quite know how to use it the way I do. I think there might be a transitional learning curve for my Simulacrum to perform my actions, almost like the system has to teach itself how I use the energy, then mimic it. Logically, I know this might be bad, as in I am teaching the system to be better at using magic and other forms of energy against me. But glass half full, it also means that I’m not actually breaking the world, just pushing the AI consciousness to new heights.

Tug, tug, poof.

I just get the rings in my hand and am in my place in the line of people going out, when I am called for my next role. With this, I quickly give a slight toss to the pillow with the rings, making it so the pillow does not come with me on the Positional Switch.

Only now do I realize that this was what the Simulacrum did, when she switched with me earlier and left me with the basket of petals. At the last second she sort of raised released it, likely using magic so that the basket levitated until transferred, then fell into my curved fingers.

This is smart, and an exploit that I didn’t even think about until now. Not certain how this can be used in the future, but I do like it as a possibility.

Of course, all ideas of pulling off great heists by Positionally Switching without certain items following me is quickly cast aside, when I realize it is puppy birthing time.

Normally this process should take time, as the doctor would have to check and make sure the head was aligned properly, before birthing can begin.

Fortunately for me, I cheat.

I can already see the heads, positions and body layouts of the puppies. Additionally, my Telekinesis helps me easily direct the closest pup that is facing the correct direction towards the birth canal and poof.

A pup in a sac quickly appears.

By just placing the pup with a sac in front of the mother who manages to lick her newborn pup once before the magical runes of the room light up and begin their cleaning processes. Then two seconds later we have a perfectly clean pup, who I then Telekinetically lift into place on one of the suckling stations.

While the world tried to make this tougher, it is still fairly easy for a healing mage who is fully prepared for the task. Also, self-cleaning rooms, they are the best ever, despite how the world tries to categorize them.

I do make a point of at least touching each of the pups, but only after the mother has officially licked the child and claimed them.

With my touch, I mainly imbue a bit of golden and silver Qi into their tiny bodies to help facilitate muscle growth and brain development.

At first Ms. Kujo looked at me wearily, but then seeing what I was doing, she relaxed and went about her portion of the process, that of welcoming her children with open arms, or in this case a really wet tongue.

Swoosh.

Heal.

The process is going faster and faster, as this entire thing is relatively easy, particularly with me being able to heal any strained or damaged parts during the process. Also, my Telekinesis beats the heck out of any lamas class, as I make it a magical conveyer belt of speed birthing. Then to make sure everything is fine, I cast a few Healing spells, and we are right back in business.

Ms. Kujo barely has enough time to lick the one pup, before the next is already in front of her.

For his part, Mr. Kujo just sits there, his head on a swivel as he watches me move the kids from one end to the other, then back to the middle.

Poor Mr. Kujo, still not knowing what to do.

I am in the middle of transferring the tenth puppy, injecting him with golden and silver Qi energy, when I realize the first true wrinkle is coming.

Tug, tug, pup toss upwards, poof.

Yes, I manage to gently thrust the pup in the air a split second before I am once again Positional Switched to the wedding hall.

That’s when I see Gwen, posing as the Deolarian King standing legs trembling with a look of shock on her face. It took me a second, before I realize that everyone is now staring directly at Gwen, which was why my attention too was drawn to her. There is a brief pause, well a pause for me, before I realize it's time to act.

Clap, clap.

And like that, the next phase of this long-drawn-out process began.