Atlas was frustrated with his inability to find the slime dungeon, and Amber was also frustrated. But her frustration was more with the fact that she could see all the coins slipping out of Fort Bone for the slime bodies, with no use for the bodies themselves. The bounties were getting expensive, considering there was no output. There were only so many pillows Fort Bone could sell.
They were discussing this problem when they walked by the training yard. The baby trolls were still hard at work—or as hard as baby trolls could work, because they often took breaks to play with the swarming mini fairies. The recruits watched them with amusement as they worked through drills created to help train them with different weapons.
The sergeant called a break, "Take thirty, you lazy slugs!" The recruits, gasping with exhaustion and sweat dripping off them, sat down and started shucking off their armor. Even though it was only a thirty-minute break, they were eager to get that armor off. Underneath their armor, their gambesons were sweat-drenched stink pads. Some recruits even took those off in relief, hoping to get some air on their sweaty skin.
Atlas, seeing the scene, said to Amber, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Amber responded, "Atlas, I didn't think you liked guys."
"What?! No. And there are also female recruits," Atlas said, looking at some of the female recruits in their sports bras.
"Okay, then you weren't thinking what I was thinking," Amber replied.
Amber and Atlas had an open relationship, and both were quite happy with the situation.
Atlas asked, "Where did they get those gambesons?"
Amber said, "They just buy them in bulk from the Forgenator."
"Let's head over there."
They headed to the Forgenator, and in the vending machine options, there was a choice: ‘Standard Gambeson (1 coin). There was another chain on the screen Custom Gambeson (5 coins).‘
"There it is," Atlas said.
"What?" Amber asked.
“Our solution for the slime bodies."
"Oh," Amber said. "Let's try it out!”
Atlas took off his hot pink armor and his own sweaty, stinky gambesons, then hit the custom gambesons option. The Forgenator screen lit up with "Select ingredients." There was a list of materials they could use to create the custom gambesons—everything from linen and cotton to a synthetic spandex mix.
Atlas chose "Custom material."
“Amber, give me one of those slime bodies."
Amber, who had been carrying a couple of slime bodies in a backpack and hadn’t dropped them off yet, handed one to Atlas. He hit the custom materials option and chucked a slime body into the Forgenator. The screen lit up with ‘Slime carcass. Analyzing...‘
After 30 seconds of waiting, the screen displayed ‘Material analyzed. Slime body properties: lightweight, high impact resistance, medium flame resistance. Warning: Excessive salt causes deterioration. Confirm choice?‘
Atlas said, "Yes." Five coins disappeared from his account, and a new custom gambeson shot out of the hopper.
BADUMP.
Atlas examined the custom gambeson, holding it up to the light. It had a slick, almost iridescent sheen to it, reflecting the same slimy green hue of the creature it was made from.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Amber smirked, “So, what now? You start a trend, and everyone’s decked out in slime-wear?”
Atlas slipped it on, and to his surprise, it felt cool against his skin, almost weightless. “Feels pretty good,” he said, adjusting it. “And if it’s impact resistant and flame resistant, we might just have a new market. Better armor without the bulk.”
The gambeson fit Atlas perfectly since he had previously entered his measurements into the Forgenator.
Amber nodded slowly, “Yeah, and we’re going to use up a lot of slime bodies to keep this going. The demand for gear will rise fast if people catch on! Oooh look, excessive salt also deteriorates them, that’s built in obsolescence. People will have to keep buying them as their sweat breaks it down.”
Atlas grinned, “The best part? If people know there’s a good use for the slimes, they’ll start hunting them even harder.”
Amber was excited. “If this works, we might be able to finally stop wasting coins. Or at least get something out of them.”
Taking advantage of the fact that they had figured out a solution to excessive slime bodies, Atlas tasked the mini faeries with passing the word to all the Portal Crushers in town. He was going to give one hundred custom gambesons to the first one hundred Portal Crushers they found. The mini faeries, holding the tokens for the custom gambesons, rushed around town looking for the Portal Crushers .
This technically wasn’t part of the three laws Atlas had set, but he had learned that the mini faeries, if bribed with treats like rock candy and glazed ant worms, would do small tasks. The mini faeries flew around town looking for customers, eager for the promised treat once their task was complete.
The mini faeries flew around Fort Bone like tiny red blurs, shouting their message to any Portal Crusher they spotted.
Portal Crushers all around Fort Bone were surprised to get this special delivery.
Wang Bo was lounging against a wall when one zipped up to him.
“Ooh, what’s this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“New armor, new armor, new armor!” the mini faery chanted, flitting around him like an overexcited bird.
“Free armor? Seriously?” Wang Bo couldn’t believe his luck. He pushed off the wall, grinning. “Alright, I’ll bite!” He hurried off to the Forgenator, arriving to find a long line of Portal Crushers already waiting there.
The Forgenator was working overtime, spitting out slime body gambesons like it was a slime-filled sewing machine.
BADUMP.
BADUMP.
Atlas stood nearby, watching with a satisfied smile as the old gambesons hit the floor.
“All right, when you all get your new gambesons on, don’t put your armor back on. Just, throw it on the wagon,” Atlas said.
After an hour, the hundred Portal Crushers were finally finished dressing up. They were now proudly sporting their new slime gambesons. Atlas had Amber bring two of the new crafters to pull the armor wagon, and together they headed to the Wasted Tavern to celebrate.
As they walked through town, people stared at the uniformly dressed Portal Crushers In their iridescent slime gambesons.
“Ooh, what’s that?” someone said.
“Is it a parade? Why are they all wearing shiny green gambesons?”
“I don’t know, but it’s pretty exciting. I wonder what they’re doing at the Wasted Tavern.”
“Probably drinking again,” the other replied.
Atlas, noticing the commotion, felt a sense of satisfaction. By parading a group of one hundred well-dressed Portal Crushers through town, he knew he’d spark a fashion craze that would quickly increase the hunt for slime bodies.
‘If this was a badly written show,‘ Atlas thought, ‘This is when assassins and bandits would attack the Portal Crushers who aren’t fully armored.‘
Even with the ominous foreshadowing no bandits or assassins appeared.
The Portal Crushers made it to the Wasted Tavern safely, where they enjoyed beers on Atlas, then put their armor back on.
The Wasted Tavern was alive with its usual hum of rowdy conversations, clinking glasses, and occasional shouting matches. In the midst of it all, Atlas and John sat at a corner table, each with a beer in hand.
“Hey, John,” Atlas said, leaning back in his chair with a casual grin.
John took a swig of his drink, wiping the foam from his beard. “Yeah?”
“With this whole fashion show we’ve got going on—and the fact that we don’t have a crisis in coins anymore—I picked up a little present for you.”
John raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “A present? Alright, color me curious.”
Atlas motioned toward the back of the tavern. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”
The two made their way to the back room of the Wasted Tavern, a small, dimly lit space away from the noise.
John asked with impatience. “So what’s the present?”
Atlas grinned. “You know how you keep losing your arm?”
John groaned, clearly not amused. “Yes, yes, I’m very aware, thanks.”
“And you got that new achievement, right?”
John sighed, clearly proud of the achievement but less fond of how he earned it. “Yeah, but I’d rather not talk about it. Took losing the arm three times to get there.”
“Didn’t you get an Achievement for that?”
“Yeah, it’s called one armed bandit. Basically I get a higher chance of being lucky and doing more damage, if I use a single weapon.
“Perfect,” said Atlas, “Then you’ll really like your present.”