The conversation about pink armor and the relentless jokes about Atlas’s gear dragged on for what felt like an eternity. Every time Atlas thought it would die down, someone would bring it up again, adding a fresh new layer to his humiliation. ‘Seriously, are they never going to let this go?‘ he thought, gritting his teeth while forcing a grin.
Wang Bo leaned in with a smirk. "Maybe next time we can get you a matching helmet with a feather on top. Really make you stand out as the hero you are, Atlas."
Laughter echoed through the group. Atlas could only shake his head, though inside, he couldn't deny the truth.
‘To be honest, I'd be ribbing anyone else with pink armor too,‘ he admitted to himself. ‘If it weren’t so damn expensive to replace, I wouldn’t be caught dead in it.‘ He patted his sword hilt, trying to ignore the continued teasing.
Just as he was about to throw in a half-hearted retort, a massive commotion erupted from the edge of the forest. The sound was unmistakable—clinking armor, heavy boots crashing through the underbrush—a rhythm that could only come from an organized force. His body tensed immediately, instincts firing into action. Atlas’s hand shot to his swords, fingers tightening around the hilts.
“What the hell is that?” Stu muttered, his playful demeanor evaporating in an instant.
"Incoming," Wang Bo whispered, his voice suddenly serious.
The noise grew louder, like a tidal wave of metal and flesh sweeping toward them. ‘This isn’t just a group. It’s a damn army,‘ Atlas thought, eyes scanning the treeline. ‘A hundred? Two hundred? More?‘
Atlas swallowed the knot in his throat and turned to the noobies they had rescued just days before. They were scared, with their eyes wide with fear. “Run!” he shouted, his voice cutting through the din. “We’ll cover your backs!”
Several of them hesitated, frozen like deer in headlights. One of the warriors in training—barely out of her teens, still clutching a used bandit spear—stepped forward, trembling but determined. “No, Atlas,” she said, her voice cracking. “Come with us!”
“There’s no time,” Atlas barked, more forcefully than he intended. The fear in their eyes hit him like a punch to the gut. He softened his tone, speaking quickly. “Just go. We’ll hold them off.”
But instead of retreating, Stu and Wang Bo moved to his side, their faces set in stoic determination. Wang Bo twirled his staff in one hand, setting himself in a defensive stance.
“Guys, no. You two have to run too,” Atlas insisted, his heart pounding. The army was getting closer. There wasn’t much time. ‘We’re outnumbered. There’s no way we’re surviving this. Not all of us.‘
Stu snorted, slamming a fist into his palm. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m no goddamn deserter. We fight together as a team.”
“If you fight, you’ll die!” Atlas snapped. “If I fight, I might just survive and buy you five minutes.”
“You’re going to fight what sounds like a hundred people? Alone?” Wang Bo asked, his eyes narrowing, calculating the odds.
Atlas smirked, trying to project a confidence he didn’t feel. “Yeah, that’s just how good I am,” he said with a wink, though his thoughts were far grimmer. ‘I’m screwed. There’s no way I’m getting out of this. Maybe the armor will hold up long enough for me to escape.‘
For a moment, the air was thick with tension. The noobies exchanged looks, torn between their fear of leaving Atlas and the undeniable instinct to run. Then, slowly, they began to move. It started with one or two, then the rest followed, fleeing in all directions like pheasants flushed from the brush. Their footsteps receded into the forest, swallowed by the noise of the approaching force.
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Wang Bo lingered a moment longer, his eyes locking with Atlas’s. Atlas nodded toward the trees, his jaw clenched. “Go.”
Reluctantly, Wang Bo turned and sprinted after the others, Stu on his heels.
Atlas stood alone, the forest now eerily silent in comparison to the chaos in his mind. He gripped his swords, trying to steady his breathing. ‘Alright, old man,‘ he thought, ‘time to see just how long you can keep this up.‘
But then, from the shadows of the trees, figures began to emerge—not bandits, not enemies—but the unmistakable shapes of Portal Crushers, clad in familiar bone armor. The leader at the front stepped into the light, her face clear now, and Atlas felt his heart skip a beat.
“Mino?” he whispered in disbelief. It was Mino, the actress who had escaped the bandits earlier, leading an entire force of Portal Crushers behind her, at least a hundred strong.
“Atlas!” Isabella’s voice rang out from behind her, filled with relief. She broke into a run, sprinting toward him. “Oh my God, we found you guys!”
Atlas let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, laughing at the absurdity of it all. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered under his breath, wiping a hand across his brow. “Of all the times…”
Isabella skidded to a halt in front of him, panting. “We’ve been looking for you. I thought we were too late.”
“No, but you just about scared the hell out of us,” Atlas said with a wry grin. “Quick! We’ve got to chase after the rest of the group. I scattered them thinking you were bandits.”
“Oh shit,” Isabella said, eyes widening as she looked over her shoulder. “How are we going to get their attention?”
“Wang Bo and Stu left last; they shouldn’t be far,” Atlas said.
It was true. Just a few minutes away, they found Wang Bo and Stu. Both were quietly but furiously arguing about whether to go back and help Atlas fight.
“Isabella?” Wang Bo was as shocked as Atlas had been a few minutes ago.
“Glad we found you,” Atlas said. “Now we have to collect everyone else.”
Wang Bo grinned. “I have an idea. Me and Stu have been working on a new song during our march back. Why don’t we use it to attract attention? It’s actually an old song with some changes, but everyone should be familiar with it.”
Wang Bo started singing, and Stu’s voice joined him, booming through the forest. Soon, the rewritten anthem filled the air. The others looked at each other, bewildered for a moment, but then, one by one, they began to sing the new version of an old favourite.
---
[Verse]
In the still of the night, under Fort Bones stars,
We dream of home, though it feels so far,
Brought here by force, the miles we've roamed,
Wearing pink armor , Atlas will bring us home.
[Verse 2]
In shadows we whisper, 'bout how the colour is wrong,
Fuchsia armor, bright like a thong,
Bright steel blinding , our eyes do roam,
Wearing hot pink armor, Atlas will bring us home.
[Chorus]
Atlas looks so pretty, his pink armor is neat,
glitery sparkles upon it, the colours do meet,
From every corner, with a bedazzled phone
Hot pink Atlas will bring us home, where we belong.
[Verse 3]
In the face of the dawn, we stand unbowed,
With the hope of return, it's our solemn vow,
Doesn't matter our past, or lands untold,
Glittery footsteps traced, Atlas will bring us home.
[Chorus]
Atlas looks so pretty, his pink armor is neat,
glitery sparkles upon it, the colours do meet,
From every corner, with a bedazzled phone
Hot pink Atlas will bring us home, where we belong.
[Bridge]
Oh the journey is long, the nights are cold,
But in each other's arms, our stories unfold,
We've seen every colour , black, silver, chrome,
With Atlas in hot pink armor, we’ll always find home.
https://suno.com/song/dcc8bb81-4f59-460f-95e8-8e1c7484362d
---
Slowly, one by one, the scattered noobies stopped in their tracks, turning toward the sound. Hesitantly, they began to reappear from the shadows, drawn by the familiar melody. Their fear dissolved as they realized they were not alone.
“Isn’t that a messed-up version of ‘Atlas Will Bring Us Home?’” one of the confused noobies said.
Atlas watched as the group reformed with the Portal Crusher army, a strange sense of pride swelling in his chest. For now, at least, they were all safe.
That pride collided with the feeling of annoyed amusement brought on by the new “Hot Pink Atlas Will Bring Us Home” song.
The Portal Crushers marched back to Fort Bone, their steps lighter than they had been in days. Atlas walked at the head of the group, his twin swords crossed over his back, his mind buzzing with the day’s events. Behind him, the hundred or so Portal Crushers carried sacks filled with the spoils of their raid—tools, weapons, and supplies. And odd sex dolls.
‘Should we really be bringing these back?‘ Isabella thought, ‘Maybe there might be some resale value for them?‘
What she didn’t know was that Alexander had already mentally tagged the sex dolls and their accompanying story as great decorations for the Wasted Tavern.
“Please stop singing the song before we reach the gates!” Atlas pleaded. The new version had lightened the mood of the group, but it was still kind of embarrassing for him.