The plan and preparation of the bandit bait had been something that Atlas had thought about ever since he had noticed that guns were indeed shit in the wasteland.

First, he had made sure all the gun barrels were jammed with slime corpse residue and bits of unusable demon dog carrion. Then he had doctored the single cartridge that was loaded in each gun. Lastly he had put thick chains on the whole package. They’d be hard to get off. It wouldn’t be impossible to free the doctored guns, but it would take time.

The actors, dressed like adventurers paired with new recruits, would pull this utility wagon. A few of the new refugees that had been actual actresses on Earth had also insisted on coming. Atlas was unsure of this, but after receiving a 15 minute lecture on feminism, he relented.

‘It’s their call. The wasteland is harsher than they realize.‘

This caravan would be a risky gambit.

As the utility cart rolled along a secluded forest path, the actors and actresses looked as though they had been through hell. Their clothes were torn, fake blood smeared across their faces, and bandages wrapped around their limbs. They whispered nervously among themselves, glancing around the shadowy woods.

“I don’t know about this, Carl,” whispered one of the actresses, a young woman named Mino. She tightened her grip on the fake rifle slung over her shoulder. “What if the bandits don’t fall for it?”

“They’ll fall for it,” Carl, the oldest of the group, said with forced confidence. “And if they don’t, we’re out here for nothing, and I really want that bonus.”

“I just hope they don’t come back while we’re still out here,” another actor, Abed, muttered, rubbing his hands together nervously. “I didn’t sign up to get killed for some lousy coins.”

“Yeah, well, 100 coins each ain’t lousy,” Carl shot back. “Just keep it together, alright? Atlas promised it would work.”

They had been pulling the utility cart along all night, trundling towards the skeleton dungeon. The supposed reason was to create an armed outpost there. The area itself had reportedly seen bandit attacks. The minutes ticked by slowly, tension rising with each creak of the wagon wheels. The actors’ hearts pounded in their chests, the weight of their task pressing down on them. Every rustle of leaves, every snap of a twig, had them on edge.

They had been attacked by the undead during this ruse, but luckily the group of actors, actresses and new warrior trainees had only met small groups. The wounds from those attacks added verisimilitude to their disguise.

Then, just as the actors were starting to lose hope, a group of bandits jumped out from the trees, their eyes gleaming with greed.

"Hands up!" yelled the lead bandit, a tall, scruffy man named Jared, his weapon trained on the actors.

The actors didn’t hesitate, quickly raising their hands in surrender. They hadn’t been paid to fight, only to play their part. Fear etched across their faces, they hoped the ruse would be enough to fool the bandits.

The bandits moved in, disarming the actors and taking the handcart loaded with the jammed guns. With the group bound and forced to walk, the bandits led their prisoners and the supposed treasure back to their camp.

The bandits pushed the handcart along the route back to their cave hideout. Well, actually, the bandits didn’t push it. They made the bound-up captives do it. “Move faster!” they yelled.

Carl and Mino were at the front, struggling to push the cart. “Do you think this will work out?” Carl whispered to Mino.

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She was nervous as hell. “It better. I didn’t sign up to become a slave to a bunch of bandits.”

Mino had been dreaming of becoming an actress in Hollywood and was hoping her nerves would hold up. ‘This definitely isn’t in any kind of acting class,‘ she thought.

“No talking!” one of the bandits barked.

Jared, strutting beside them, was loving the fact that he was the big boss now. His cocky smile only grew as they continued.

Then came the sound—a chilling rattle of bones clattering against each other. Mino's heart skipped a beat as she glanced to the side, eyes widening.

“Shit,” Carl muttered, his grip tightening on the cart. "They're coming."

From the shadows, skeletal figures emerged, hollow eye sockets glowing faintly with eerie light. Their bony fingers outstretched in claws, the remnants of their former selves long gone. The bandits froze for a moment, their eyes wide with shock.

“Skeletons!” Jared roared, yanking his weapon from his belt. "Kill ‘em!"

The bandits rushed forward, swinging wildly at the approaching undead. Swords clashed against bones, splintering with each strike. One of the skeletons lunged at Hector, its jaw hanging open in a grotesque grin. Hector barely managed to sidestep, slashing at its legs and sending the creature crashing to the ground.

Mino's breath came in ragged gasps. This wasn’t part of the plan. Her hands shook as she stared at the chaos, the bandits fighting desperately to hold back the skeletons. The actors weren’t meant to fight; they were supposed to be prisoners.

But in the chaos, she saw something. A gap.

One of the bandits was locked in combat, his back turned, blocking the view of the trees. It was now or never. Mino's pulse raced. ‘I didn’t ask for this,’ she thought, heart pounding.

She darted into the trees, slipping away unnoticed as the clash of bones and steel filled the air behind her. Her feet hit the ground hard, twigs snapping underfoot as she fled deeper into the woods. No one seemed to notice her escape—not yet.

***

Back at the battle, Carl turned just in time to see her disappear into the shadows. For a split second, he considered following, but a skeleton swung at him, forcing him to stay and defend himself.

Mino ran, the sounds of the fight fading behind her, the shadows of the forest swallowing her whole.

‘I've gotta get out of here‘, Mino thought. The sounds of the skeletons fighting with the bandits were loud in her ears. ‘Okay, gotta get back to Fort Bone, I've got to let them know what's going on.‘ She ran as quickly as she could, but as an actress, she wasn’t as fit as the Portal Crushers or the warriors. This run was going to take her a while.

Back at the battle, the bandits finished off the last of the skeletons, wrapping up their wounds. “Fuck, one of those cunts ran off. That’s fucking great,” Jared snarled, kicking the skeleton’s remains aside.

“Shit,” Jared said, frustration clear in his voice. “We’ve gotta get back to camp as soon as possible. Get those hand carts moving!”

The bandits forced the captive actors to push the hand carts. “Move, slaves. Push faster!” Jared yelled, cracking a whip at Carl and the others. Carl grimaced, regretting not running off with Mino when he had the chance. Now, with the sting of the whip on his back, the weight of the hand cart pressing on his shoulders, he was stuck.

But soon, the sight of the hidden bandit camp greeted them. It was nestled in a grove deep in the forest, the entrance to the cave covered with moss and trailing ivy. Jared strutted in, feeling victorious. “Clark, we’ve got presents,” he called out.

Clark, who had been deep in conversation with Bjorn, looked up and saw Carl and the rest of the actors tied up, a hand cart full of guns behind them. His eyes narrowed as he approached.

“What’s this?” Clark asked, suspicion clear in his voice.

Jared grinned, puffing out his chest. “You remember those rumors we were hearing about how the Portal Crushers had gotten guns working? Well, looks like they weren’t just rumors. We found these guys transporting another bunch through the forest.”

Clark's brow furrowed. “Why would they be transporting guns they already owned through the forest?”

Jared shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe they were moving them to another settlement?”

“Why wouldn’t they just use the teleport points?” Clark asked, his suspicion growing.

“Fuck if I know,” Jared replied.

Clark looked at the guns, his eyes gleaming with interest. “Alright, let’s just get these guns out of these chains and test them.” He was suspicious, but guns would be a great help to his growing bandit group.

The bandits started unwrapping the heavy chains from the guns.

“It’s going to take a while,” said Bjorn as he worked through the chains.

“Well, we’ve got time,” responded Clark.

Jared hesitated. “Well, actually, it may not be a long time. One of the prisoners escaped on the way back.”

Bjorn looked up from the chains. “And did you plan to tell us this later, when they ambushed us?”

Jared looked embarrassed. He wasn’t the brightest of the group, but he knew letting a captive go wasn’t great.

“Shit, we’ve gotta get out of here,” said Clark. “I bet you bunch of cocksuckers left a big fat trail, too.”