I drift, curled into a fetal position, passing through the mesmerizing sights of the Astral for god knows how long. But guessing by the fact that I have floated far beyond my landing point I assume it’s been a while. But does it really matter, what’s the point anyway no matter what I’ll still die far from home, so what's the point in doing well anything?

But I’m doing something right now even if it's just breathing is it really so hard to do something productive? But What can I even try to do here, what’s productive anyway in a place like this, what enemies do I have, what rules to break I’m just floating in a void.

It doesn't matter as long as you do something it'll get better my goals were always self-made, there's never any need to do anything, we live post scarcity. Any goals before or now were created, let's create some more.

Plus, to die in the Astral is not the only possibility, 5 other humans have been recorded as not coming out the other side of a portal, who knows they might still be alive, I could try to find them, and get some company in this hellhole.

All right I uncurl from my fetal position my bones protesting and my muscles stretching to their limits just to force myself upright.

And I come upon my first question, what are my goals, there is the obvious get home, but how do I get home I can’t exactly walk back. Maybe a portal but where do I get the materials for the portal. I’m floating through a void right now!

Okay, no need to run down dead ends let's just start at the beginning what the hell is going on in this strange world?

I won’t be able to do pretty much anything here without understanding the new world I am in.

But let’s see what we have to succeed I have the clothes on my back, wait STEVENS is he okay, can AI even get hurt? I frantically tap on the A.S.S.A.I’s strip but no matter what I do just a weak puff of hardened photons.

Okay Okay, Tara, you can do this don’t panic Stevens might not be available, but he’s a program he can be brought back plus he was housed in a very powerful computer you can still use him. I breathe in and out slowing my ragged breaths filled with panic until they are slow and deep, although still filled with fraught emotions and I begin again.

So I tap around the primitive hardware but oh God is it frustrating to use a screen that is so goddamn tiny!

But resisting the urge to smash the idiotic watch I continue to look through its function.

Hmm looks like while Stevens can’t help me I do get access to his stores of music(the music will at least help me not go insane), a powerful calculator, voice recording software, and his stores of information even if those are held in such archaic ways as writing.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

Alright looks like that watch is gonna be pretty useful but let’s move on I also have my suitcase, wait where’s my suitcase.

MY GODDAMN SUITCASE, I had so many things in there and now it’s just floating in the FUCKING ASTRAL. I scream my tenuous calm broken and angrily swing at the air or the blackness I have been floating through.

Wait I hear something, I hear an ECHO, I can find my suitcase with all its Items I just have to be patient. After the exertion, I slowly return to calm and begin to think through how to reach my Suitcase filled with goodies.

I’m breathing in something so I must not be in a vacuum so I can presumably swim over there, but hang on if I’m not in a vacuum why don’t I have air resistance, Ugh this is confusing. Either way, If I can breathe in something that means I’m in a fluid so even if it’s hard I can eventually swim over to my backpack.

So with a plan in mind, I spread out my arms and extend my jacket and I sweep my arms and legs backward and I MOVED. YES! HAHAHA I CAN DO THIS, it might not have moved me far but with no wind resistance apparently, I can just keep building speed.

And so I start to furiously swim to where I heard the echo come back from. Looking to the world around me like the most pissed-off human frog in all of time. At first, I’m slow but as I continue to do my stroke I start to build more and more speed until I speed through the black, blasting past and through clouds and blooms.

And quite soon I see the suitcase in the distance silhouetted by a large cloud of sky blue the size of a house, YES I’M DOING IT.

Yet wait with no air resistance how will I slow down here, SHIT! How am I going to get that suitcase with no brakes? I guess I’ll have to ram it, if I try to grab it from the side at the speed I’m going at it’ll slip through my hands. I scream into the astral and I frantically adjust course by waving to the side until I’m on a collision course with my suitcase. AGH I ram into and grip that battered plastic handle with all my strength.

A bit later.

After that fiasco, I ended up with a bruised chest, and quite a sore throat and body. BUT! I now have my suitcase!

I had to slowly kick my way to a stop considering that I couldn’t use my hands on account of the suitcase. I’m never letting go of this thing now after this disaster.

I open up the case and take stock of what’s in there I’ve got a sturdy binder holding some cooking recipes from Grandmama, a horde of if I say so myself extremely fashionable clothes, 2 glass bottles of water, trail mix, my 80 page journal along with a couple of pens and pencils, a baggie of weed, and Grandmama’s laptop. Hmm I bet I could jury rig it for a bigger screen on my A.S.S.A.I, I grab the laptop and raise it into the air.

“Stevens how do I replace your screen with that of this laptop,” I say to no one.

And all that is heard is a heavy silence.

It’s so jarring that Stevens isn’t here, and I don’t have a clue as to why. He’s helped me out for my entire life constantly from advice to just the safety of always having someone to talk to, and now I’m just waving around the corpse of my most steadfast companion for benefits.I It’s like having your Sun be turned off.

Well, I can use my notebook to write down any observations I have I’ll need it to deal with this confusion, plus who knows what I could do with water and sugar here in the Astral plane where it’s so rare.

I look at the food and try to pull together the strength to eat it but instead, I just stare at it, I have no appetite at all. Is this from starving myself for a while, or is it magic BS? It sort of makes sense for living beings in a spiritual plane to not need to eat, but if my energy isn’t coming from food where the hell is it coming from? I shake my head to rid myself of such unproductive thoughts

I hurriedly stuff the items back into the suitcase except for the laptop. The laptop that should’ve eased Grandmama and I’s pain is now a bunch of scraps to be torn apart instead of used.

If this symbol of joy is to be turned into space trash and parts I might as well give it one last hurrah. I open the laptop and stare at the black screen at the reflection only shown in calm, at the symbol of my family, and say

“I promise that I won’t languish in here, that I will get back to you, all of you. I will not fall apart for I refuse to break. And I refuse to fail so no matter how long I will see you again my family.”

I kiss the screen and stare for just a bit at that dead screen, but after that, I close the screen and pack it back up because I’ve got some work to do. I have to learn to escape this wretched place and get back to my family.