I rummage through my bursting pack, searching for a certain metallic object, my hands battering various items around, as I reach for this!

I grab a thorny handle made of iron nails, and pull it out to reveal my menacing spoon!

Its handle is made of dozens of iron nails quickly fused together in a hurry, topped off with a bumpy iron bowl made from just throwing iron dust at the frame. It looks like a madmans ladle, crafted specifically for scooping out eyeballs.

But as I hold the bowl of the spoon in my palms I smile, because frankly out of all my magical items, this is the only one that looks cool.

Well I presume it’s magic, I can literally use it to eat emotion, something that should be impossible. But I did so without it, so who knows, I’ll still use it just because it looks rad.

Either way, rythmically tapping the bowl against my hands, I need to get on to good eating.

I’ve noticed that my stores of red magic, is far larger than all my other stores. And since I can use the red magics, of anger, hatred, and war for longer.

I can spend more time developing my abilities through practice, and experimentation meaning that the techniques get stronger.

Which means I use red magic more often.

This leads to an exponential increasing loop of ability and power. Using spells of colors you have high stores of is just way better than spreading yourself thin.

But I suspect that the reason I have such high stores is due to those red motes colliding with me, and being absorbed into me.

Although a frown spreading across my face. That reminds me, what the hell is the baseline magic of language. I should have massive stores of it from eating the first cloud. And if it’s useful I can leverage it greatly.

I conjure times of deep concentration, brought into pleasant memories of reading enchanting books, then I put my tongue out and drag my finger down it. I do this 3 more times before just pulling my tongue and dragging my finger.

And like the engine of a primitive car starting, I start invoking language without the need to hold the ideas in my mind.

I’ve found that if you do things that are too convenient they don’t work to invoke the emotion. Most likely not using enough effor to pull the emotion into you. And additionally, it can’t be random things, it has to have something to do with the emotion.

I sigh if those two rules weren’t in place, I could do some ridiculous things like make tongue clicking the invocation gesture. Something I could do quietly and quickly, so that essentially at any moment I can pull magic out my ass.

But oh well what will be, will be.

Shaking my head I try to pay attention to the feeling of the glass, the construct I’ve made to feel. But as I check up on the sensation my eyes start to twitch in confusion. Although frankly the sensation isn’t bad.

Because frankly I can barely fucking feel it. I don’t even think I can get catatonic using this!

Realizing the importance of this discovery. I pull out the notebook with urgency, reading the top in seconds, my eyes immediately understanding anything they touch. Then writing down my observations, my pencil blurring as if the pencil was running at top speed on the page.

I frown, snapping the book shut realizing that the ability is speed writing and reading. God how lame is that speed reading as my grand power. My arms fall to my sides as the notebook floats beside me.

“It does make sense, language is the power of communication, so if most of its spells are various ways of enhancing communication. It would make perfect sense. But for me that goddamn sucks, the only thing I’ve talked to my entire time in the Astral has been an ant!” My arms burst forth, cloth slapping itself as my arms shoot up in frustration. The movement sending me spinning ever so slowly to the right.

I sigh, pulling myself back with a minor invocation of wanderlust. Either way, if I can devour a cloud that’s actually useful, then I can essentially choose what spells I’m talented at.

And if I choose right I can create a loop of growth with spells that are incredibly useful for me.

So I hold my fingers like a mask around my eyes invoking unique. And as I do so lights burts behind a cloud in the distance. I sigh take my hands off my head, and then start pushing to get to my new destination

—

I float before a medium sized cloud one around the size of a 4 story building. The color is a soft baby blue, a perfect mix between a piercing sky blue, and dark navy. The clouds also curiously almost looks like an eye. With its rim of inwardly curving clouds gathering towards a darker spot selling the look.

Based on my earlier notes, it should be a cloud of wonder, one of the oddballs of the blue category. They come in various shapes and sizes but they have the curious trait of never dying.

Any bloom of wonder larger than a seed only gets smaller and dimmer, never blinking out.

As I start to reach for the eyeball formed of wonder, I stop facepalming.

Didn’t I just tell myself I would check out the clouds magic before eating it. Wonder has a leg up on the others for both pinging an orange highlight, and for being a more conceptual cloud.

But that doesn’t mean I should just eat it immediately. Any absorption of a cloud seems to change you.

Ever since I saw that cloud of language I’ve noticed a lot more vague clouds. Clouds that don’t really fit the bill for an emotion. But rather things like humanity, smell, and justice.

Things don’t really make sense as a cloud of emotion. Or well doesn't make sense to me, I have no idea.

All I have is a ragged patchwork of guesses and jury-rigged magic guiding me. I stare at my hands in despair, the hands that ran away from their home, that orchestrated its doom. I shake my head, I have to move on.

Plus this cloud right in front of me will give me the opportunity to grow beyond my earlier failure. And maybe even fix it? Eugh, I chuckle, it's quite silly for me to think like that.

My abandoned station has most likely already been peppered with enough corpses to make it a ruin by now. A fase smile pinned to my face, before I let it go. There’s no need to be overly optimistic or pessimistic, just realistic.

I breathe in and out, drawing my hands to my sides, before suddenly letting all the air out of my lungs. My hands at my sides slowly gracefully drawing themselves into an arc above my head.

I think of disasters diverted, aunties placated, and enemies dealt with. Bringing to mind the fact that I can solve problems. Quite well in fact, I would say a smile appearing on my face as I open my eyes.

My arms slinking back into a more relaxed pose I draw upon memories of the fantastical sights I’ve seen in this desolate grave, and times of profound beauty found in ordinary moments.

I hold those precious moments in my mind as I were holding glass shards in my hands refusing to let go. Unwillingly squeezed out tears falling down my face.

As I dream of beautiful times, my mind expands beyond what I could have imagined.

And I realize that nothing around me matters, and all that matters is people. I smile enraptured by a revelation I already knew. Before I realize that I don’t have any people, to make this life bearable.

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As I realize that the state of mind fades, and my thoughts return to normal. I look to the side in disgust, that cloud was worthless, It’s not like I gained any new thoughts, I just relearned something I always knew. And brought up my own tragedies.

I’ve always valued people, but others just seem to not value me. Abandoning me for petty purposes, everyone a simple face that I cannot see past. I know that other human beings joined in the same experience of life with you is what makes this whole thing worthwhile. Yet I’ve been so utterly alone.

I’ve taken care of my family, and worked so hard, because I love them, but also because they’re family. They sort of have to love me.

They are forced to appreciate me, and my efforts. But in the end, it’s all the same. Do I really know if any of them care about me?

What’s the point of knowing the truth if you can’t do anything about it?

I raise my head, my eyes empty of tears from both wonder, and sadness. And as my neck arcs upward I see the cloud drifting far away, and getting farther.

Well, fuck me the cloud ran away.

—

I, with Joy pulsing in my mind, dust off the imaginary dust off the skirt I’m wearing. A beautiful puffy lacy piece that is usually too impractical to be worn due to the limitations of gravity, a design I was only free to create due to the Astral. I giggle before pushing the noise back in, and turning the fauctet off. A grim look falling onto my face, right now there is work to be done.

I’ve arrived at the next unique cloud. This one is quite the strange one, it being rather than one cloud it’s around 12 identical joined together with ribbons of other colors. They are a mix of orange-yellow, with a bold yet quiet red.

I’ve never seen the like of this cloud before, and the colors aren’t really any hint either. Red, yellow, and orange while they are colors that mix well in reality the emotions inherent in each aren’t really compatible. I shrug guess I’ll just unpeel it.

I squint my eyes, and unpeel the cloud to reveal something very familiar.

Family, community, the sheer power of humanitys greatest strength, its compassion, and the world born from it. My eyes push past visions of families coming together and communities refusing to fall into chaos to see this.

—

I see a pair of broken glasses clutched in my hands, although just barely. My eyes are too blurry to read any of the useful information on the street signs, and graffiti. Worrying me greatly.

But that isn’t important right now. I need to find food for Meera, and Sanghi.

I continue to trudge along the shattered ground thinking of Sanghi. He was born only a few weeks before the earthquake, and he needs food right now.

Meera can’t breastfeed, and we’ve run out of formula. But without it he’ll grow up sickly. I know the stories of boys born of wet rags.

But I can stop that, I just need to find some food. I might not be able to see much, but you don’t need glasses to see a market.

So I slowly walk through the cracked open streets, warily looking at the dark corners. And as I do something I hear something, a shout.

A ragged looking woman steps out from behind a stall with something cupped in her hands. She tells me that she can give me her emergency glasses repair kit, since hers are fine.

I try to hand it back seing that her glasses are barely held together by ducttape. But she refuses, I then take the case quickly afraid of some sort of trick.

But none comes, she tells me of an encampment nearby that she’s been staying at, she was out scavenging for food to bring back.

If there’s a camp I need to go there, if there’s people, there’s mothers, and I might be able to trade for some formula or bottled milk from them.

I grit my teeth, and start running towards the building we’ve been staying in, a building that was sturdy enough to not collapse in the earthquake.

I burst into the room, Sanghi immediately bursting into tears, Meera is worried but when I tell her of the encampment, a gleam of determination takes over her eyes.

We head over together as a family, although we are missing a lot of people, thankfully back in my hometown away from this mess.

Navigating the streets that buckled and broke, Meera guides me while I rock Sanghi in my arms.

Eventually we reach the place, an old plaza, we push past a rudimentary cloth covering, and are hit by a wave of sound.

A cacophony of laughter, conversation, work, whispers, and worries. Everyone working together to make the best of what they can mere days after all their lives were upendended.

And with my eyes weak but still able to see due to human kindness. I cry together with my son for when humanity should be at its lowest they are instead at their highest.

And in the end, humans are people, and people do their best to help, even when they might not have enough to afford to give.

—

As my eyes shift from his to mine, I look at these blooms. This network of interconnected similar yet different blooms that nonetheless work together, and I can’t bring myself to even touch them.

It would be like desecrating a grave while cannibalizing my family at the same time.

I grab at my stomach as I feel violently sick at the thought of doing such a thing, spewing out my stomach acid and leaving a burning trail in my throat.

I cough at the pain, my lungs splattering leftover bits of stomach acid into my hand.

As I wave away the dropets of acid I stop my hands on my knees. I know that it’s not a living being, but the idea of consuming something so near and dear to my heart, I just, I just can’t do it.

Plus shivering in place, the clouds magic probably wouldn’t be that useful.

Most likely being something that raises morale or helps others work together in times of crisis. That’s not something I need all by myself

I might be losing out on power by not devouring that cloud. But it’s going to be alright, and in the end, I don't know anything that would be worth the cost of desecrating something so sacred.

I believe in no gods but if anything is holy in this world it is this monument to humanity's good.

—

After that, I drift for a bit giving myself a break before I attempt to do this crazy idea again.

Drawing the beautiful sights around me, I sigh the scratch of pen on paper soothing me.

My hands move at blinding speed due to my ongoing language invocation. I decided that if the stores never run out, I’ll just keep it on permanently.

The technique might not be the most useful thing but I still smile because it allows me to do this.

I raise the book above my head, my hands flipping through the infinite pages of my notebook to reveal a little animation, a series of eyes opening and closing with a calm slowness.

But as I see past my pages I notice something quite strange, a grey cloud that continually moves and bends in on itself. Like a spinning puzzle cube mized in with a tesseract.

I drift closer, intrigued by the strange bloom of emotion. And I scrunch my eyes together as I unpeel the cloud only to receive nothing.

No response for the first time ever. I frown it makes some type of sense that it could happen, but how?

Is the cloud blocking me?

Why?

Literally every other cloud just sort of gave me it’s whole deal as soon as I peeled back the layer that covers it.

Oh well it’s not like it matters that much. I shrug, guess I will have to guesstimate what emotion it is.

Since its color is a dark grey, and somewhat simplisticly darker emotion means darker colours. It’s most likely a painful emotion or concept.

And it’s most likely a concept because most clouds are well, a colour, not boring grey. But conceptual clouds just completely ignore this, usually being any color they damn well please.

But due to their freedom they are the only clouds who can be black, white, grey, or brown.

So it’s the manifestation of some dark concept from dark concept back on the other side. I don’t have any certainty but well guesses that we test the vast majority of experiments.

Plus I’ll get a better idea of the concept if I eat it. I felt my brain expanding when I ate the cloud of language, and bursts of anger assaulted me after I absorbed those motes of anger.

I pull out my grand spoon of good eating, it’s funky appearance bringing a smile to my face. Swimming toward the cloud, I stop with a flashfreeze of sadness a scant 5ft away from the mysterious cloud.

I reach out the battered deranged artifact scooping out a bit of the dark grey cloud. Closing my eyes I bring it to my full lips.

Only for nothing to happen. I open my eyes only to see that the bit that I seperated from the main mass has disappeared, returned to the cloud.

I groan in frustration, and go for another scoop only to see that as soon as it gets 3 ft away from the cloud it promptly fucking goes back!

Is there a tether on it’s mass or something?

Ugh, well if it disapears whn it gets too far away, I will just get closer.

I slowly scoot myself to the 3 foot mark ,and attempt to scoop out a bit.

Only as my face goes closer, I notice the chunk of cloud disappearing so I lunge in!

And fall into the cloud. I quickly windwave my way out but I still rub my head feeling like my very being was sucked out by a mosquito. The pain stinging as I deal with the fact that something, got sucked out of me!

Aeugh! Alright you scuggly little fucker if that’s how you wanna play take this!

I know that good old fashioned metal can at least temporarily affect the cloud. So why don’t I just fucking chuck a hunk of steel at it! That should do something!

Ugh, I shake my head in an attempt to calm down, but I fail. I know that it’s just a weird ass object but just as you might take revenge on the table corner, I will receive my due for this transgression!

So I pull out the binder and with practiced motions quickly pull out enough nails to make a nailgun proud, swing my hair braces out and quickly melt it into a solid enough block.

While pure metal dust is best for making quality items, when you want quantity it’s best to just throw hot metal at your problems.

So pushing the still hot crude metal block with my deranged spoon, I get it in the perfect spot before swimming back and slamming it with a gathered wind wave.

“FORE!” echoing out into the astral.

The metal block rockets through the astral and smashes into and through the cloud taking with it a chunk, the piece remaining on the block, but soon enough it teleports and rejoins the main mass.

I scream in anger, my face contorting into a rictus of frustration. This fucking dumbass cloud refuses to let me devour it entirely. A completely unreasonable stance.

I paw along on the floor almost imitating a bull about to charge. I can’t get out of here empty handed. It took something from me.

Although I do not know what it took I refuse to get out of here empty handed!

Alright the cloud is definitely affected by metal but it disappears too fast, however the chunks I grabbed with the metal box traveled farther, most likely because it was faster.

So if I can make a big metal scoop, and hurl it at the cloud and wait on the other side I could maybe absorb it before it gets taken away!

Brilliant!

I quickly forge a scoop, shove it towards the cloud and quickly flap my way to the other side as quickly as possible. But as I do so, I notice something strange, another grey cloud behind this one

I attempt to unpeel it but when I do I am shocked to learn that I didn’t unpeel a cloud, I unpeeled a building!