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2.4 My Unfortunate Students

Alright, now I just have to wait. The fabrics flutter past my face as they dance with the imperceptible motions I make. The paper hanging on the non-existent air is rearranged with every sweep and gesture, making it so that my plans are never static. My eye catches on one of the papers that is swept up and up and up and up until it falls into the gravitational pull of the frozen meat plannet and is lost, making it so that all plans not lucky enough to stay afloat will die before they kill me with their bad luck. I start to wonder if any good plans were ever lost to this before my eye catches on a doodle I made, and an ugly weld, and everything else within sight.

UGH, when the fuck are they going to arrive!

Wait, I never specified any specific time, and neither did they. Fuck now, I both can’t do anything productive for fear of being interrupted, and I can’t distract myself with my 50th trashy face slapping novel without being stressed out.

You know what, I can just wait. With all the weird, timey-wimey nonsense they could arrive right this minute. I sit on my throne of silk ribbons and wait, hmm, is that plate cracked? That shouldn’t be possible if I’ve properly been powering the recharging. I should really check that out.

No, no, I’ve got to wait. Hmm, I wonder since my reserves of language are so deep, I bet I could make a pretty powerful magical item by just dumping all of it onto one wand instead of thinking of trying to make intricate and useful enchantments.

Although those certainly are useful, I probably wouldn’t have made the sticky iron plates if I just blindly strapped 40 different attack spells to one wand and blasted it. Plus, I don’t know what could happen; perhaps the material could be overwhelmed and explode or simply hurt me due to the proximity.

Wait, I shou- No FUCK THIS, I’m doing something more interesting!

I stand in the slightly singed experimentation room, most of the more damaged sections patched over with new panels after my latest experiment. It was quite surprising and fascinating to see that if you blast one of the regenerating panels to pieces, if you do so hard enough, they waste all their energy trying to piece it together mid-explosion and fail.

Either way, I am currently investigating if I could make a lava-based attack; there’s no rune for it in the book, presumably because those who made it never saw lava or magma before. However, lava's highly damaging and heavy physical nature makes it ideal for a weapon, so I’m going to make this work anyway.

My current hypothesis on how to weaponize lava is to stuff some summoned true rocks into a metal tube plastered with heat spells pointed at the interior of the tube, and then throw it like a makeshift lava grenade.

Invoking a small amount of Freedom, I stop grabbing the handles on the wall and fly over to the center of the room to place the tube in the middle, before floating back over to the heavily enchanted wall and taking out the 11-foot pole I’ve prepared to press its button from afar.

My eyes glimmer as I wiggle the thin metal rod towards the makeshift lava grenade's trigger, but I can only stop and wince when I am suddenly interrupted by the sound of a cacophony of babble, drivel, and small talk coming from my throne room.

I stare longingly at the tube, wondering if I should just give it a push, despite my guests. But more rational thoughts prevail as I sigh and ruin its trigger rune so that it might not float around and accidentally go off while I'm not looking.

Thoroughly peeved at the interruption but willing to deal with it, I grab the handles I use to navigate my gravityless base and pull my way to my impromptu throne room/planning room. Remembering to grab the spellbook and a couple samples on the way.

I walk or, more accurately, pull my way into my own throne room to see a horde or perhaps a gaggle of children. Although there's not only children, there’s a couple middle-aged people, some elderly. Bluntly, it's the usual community college spread of younglings who are only technically adults and people with fully formed lives getting some knowledge or a degree.

I wonder why there’s so few of the elderly, though. Back home, it was fairly common for centennials to come back for unfinished degrees and a fresh perspective since it's so easy and free. I wince as I realize that the reason there are so few centennials here is because my home has the resources and power to keep its people healthy well into their 150s; they might not even be able to get their people to the 110s.

Before I can further delve into that kernel of despair, I catch a quite strange conversation ahead of me. One of them excitedly remarks about the strange and exotic fabric swirling around them, even when it is nothing but random dyed fabric.

Although before I can ascertain more about their strange opinions on fabric, everyone quickly looks at me, before with the same speed, looking away with a wince, as if they had accidentally glimpsed the sun.

I am momentarily confused before I remember that in the perspective swap, Patient Bridge saw me as a figure of blinding light. It is easy to assume that they see me similarly. But why? The people who saw me as that presumably never even talked to the people who saw me as a figure of light, so why would they have the same perspective on my appearance? Is it showing my true form or some other wishy-washy bullshit?

Realizing that it is a bit irrelevant, I forge ahead and say with a steady voice, “I am glad to see you students of the Dual Tribe, I am Tara, and I shall be your teacher today. We are going to start by introducing you to the basic utilizations of runes and then expand your repertoire of runes.”

Nervous but holding firm, I get into a criss-cross apple sauce position while floating above my unfortunate students, using a touch of sadness to freeze into place.

Taking a deep breath in, I say, “The simplest enchantment of all is to simply place one or more property runes on an object, for example, healing on a steel plate.”

Pulling out a simple healing plate, one exactly like the ones that make up my walls, I show it to the class, displaying its rune.

I begin to speak when one of the younger boys begins to try to heckle me, saying, “Tayari tunajua hilo, endelea!”

Although they don’t get to speak long when one of the elders swats him and says, "First, reapply your translation spell, and second, shut up; we’re not here to listen to you.”

Mollified, the boy takes what I think is a painted rock and crushes it before rubbing the dust onto his neck.

Trying to make it seem like I didn’t know that they attempted to fuck with me, I ask in my most innocent voice, “Well, now that I understand you, what did you mean to say, student?”

I barely contain a small amused chuckle when they just stumble through some umms before clamming shut.

Feeling a bit more confident, I continue with my lecture. “They are immensely useful due to their simplicity and effectiveness. Most things don’t need more investment than one or two property runes when they are already useful and powerful. What’s the point in making it complicated when it's fine by itself?"

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“But they are inefficient due to the fact that they are always influencing the object. This plate is currently being healed, despite the fact that it isn’t being damaged. It doesn’t conserve its strength, and it doesn’t increase in power; it just is."

“The simplest way to solve this is a button rune, a condition-based rune that allows you to choose when the rest of the enchantments are active. This allows you to conserve energy based on the situation, greatly increasing the enchantment's life span.”

Taking a deep breath I smile, glad to see that the only interruptions and naysayers seem to be younglings too big for their britches. I start getting into some basic examples of my usage of runes with full confidence.

“Which leads me into the easiest-to-make complex enchantment, wands; they are just a button and an attack rune, with some type of shaping or aiming rune. Incredibly simple, but effective. To start with, we will-”

I make a little cough as I reach the end of my prepared material. Thankfully enough after the young fool was silenced by his elders, the lesson went smoothly. With a sweeping gesture, I say, “And that is the end of today's lesson. Return, and I shall have more to teach. But now, at this moment, I require my payment. Who shall teach me your body forging spells?”

As I ask this, the crowd shuffles around, and I see an older, angrogynous-looking fellow calmly walk out of the crowd. They make a sushing gesture to the chattering crowd before saying, “I am the one who guides the younglings through their first forgings; thus, I was chosen to assist you.”

Making an elegant bow, they say in a respectful tone, “It would be my honor to guide you, great spirit; my name is Kailin.”

Looking at them with more fervor, I see that they have a strange arrangement of what seems to be cultivated muscles, less like a thing of nature and work, and more like someone coldly arranging their own body for the sake of efficiency. They look similar to those who have had extensive body modifications back home, both for beauty and power.

Well, it does make sense that those who are best at modifying their own bodies would teach others how to modify theirs. Anyway, with a dismissive wave, I say, "Well, toddle off students, thats all I have for today. Come back with refreshed minds and a mind fit for learning.”

“As for you there, come with me, and we will get started on what you have to teach me.”

As I look into the crowd, most of them give a quick bow before they shimmer out of existence, no longer maintaining their presence on the Astral Plane, which I now unwillingly call home. The teacher, however, stays, patting invisible dust off their knees before coming up to me.

Wordlessly, I walk to the experimentation wing, since damn near all the other wings would reveal too much. Thankfully, that wing is pretty much just clean steel rooms and some improvised barricades for the more explosive experiments.

Pulling my way through the base, I head into one of the more empty and clean rooms before sitting criss-cross applesauce on the air. Looking back, I see them awkwardly duck through one of the very few door frames in my base. Their tall form, devilishly mixed with the strange invisible ground they all seem to walk on, worked together to put them in an uncomfortable position, their head incredibly close to one of my rare ceilings.

Although, luckily for them, it put them close to my height in the air. Kailin glances at the overly close ceiling before they similarly get into a crisscross applesauce in front of me, although despite the grace and elegance in the action, it looks like they haven’t done it before.

Once we sit eye to eye, they say in an informal manner, "Alright, give me your hands.”.

I look at them quizzically, but they simply give me an exasperated look and gesticulate wildly at me before saying, “Come on, just give em up, I need to get a good look at you.”

Puzzled and a bit hesitant, I nonetheless offer up my hands, and Kailin grasps them in theirs. It’s quite a strange feeling holding their hands since their muscles aren’t placed like most human muscles; it feels more like holding an alien or rubber-covered robots hands.

My puzzled and a bit amused mood is broken, when I hear a horrific wrenching crack, like someone tearing off the leg of a chicken, and as I hear that, a flash of light spins underneath my teachers eyelids.

I stare at them mildly horrified, but all they do is sigh and say, “Oh well, guess I’ll have to change my lesson path.”

In response, still a bit horrified, I say, “You don’t need to change your lesson plans; you need to go to a hospital. Do you have a hospital? Wait, of course not!”

Forcing myself to go through thoughts of healing, of slow reconstruction, and of finding joy, I begin to emit an aura of healing similar to the time I helped out that strange ginormous ant.

But when it approaches them, they wave it away, dispersing the gathered energy, saying, “I don’t need no help, youngling. As you will soon learn, forging your body will allow you to have some creative triggers, although it depends on what you are looking for.”

I stare at them confused because, for one, they just waved away a magical aura, and for two, they explicitly stated the spells wouldn’t work for a great spirit. Why would they offer me instruction on how to upgrade my own body when, to them, it is impossible? Wait, but what if they know it is possible, perhaps due to a spell? With their quite dramatic casting, they probably figured some stuff out. Well, let’s keep this charade up a bit longer, them treating me as a god instead of a peer is useful in negotiations and maintaining distance.

Putting up a front, I say, “I thought that your people did not know of any spells that could alter a great spirit.”

Looking at me with an extraordinarily deadpan expression, Kailin says with a sigh “I’ve been guiding younglings through their first forging for decades, and I know what a human body feels like. So are you going to tell me your goals, or should I just let you flounder with a list of spells like I was planning to earlier?”

Fuck, what am I supposed to do now? Hells, what can I even do now, I’m not exactly going to silence a random old person to keep a secret. All I can do is hope for their mercy. I begin to say something to the effect of, please keep this quiet when they interrupt me.

“I don’t give two shits if you’re human underneath your shiny exterior; I ain't no -person who reveals secrets for meager rewards-, you wouldn’t believe how many weird modifications and bloodlines folks give their kids, you aren’t even my weirdest case of a disguise. Now get on with it”

Well, what do I want anyway, or well need? There’s plenty of loot to find in the astral, but it won’t be without danger. So an obvious choice would be an increase in durability or regeneration, although enhancing my speed would both help mid combat and with work, and I of course would want to kick my brain up a few notches in processing since its the only reason I've gotten this far.

Unsure of what to do or choose, I simply say, “I don’t know what I want, hells I don’t even know what I can do with your magics.”

Nodding, they reply in an understanding and kind voice “That makes sense. Most of my students plan their first forging for ages and know what is possible. Simply think of what gives you the greatest joy about your body, and we can work together to make that happen. As long as you have a clear purpose, I can pull off the regimen required.”

Curious, I ask them, “What is the purpose of your body teacher?”

Their face curls into an amused smile when they say, "Well, my use is more obtuse than most; I never felt comfortable in the skin of a woman, so I created my own perfection spells to alter my body to a more suitable shape, not that of a man, since I am not that either. But something in between.”

Chuckling a bit, they look up and make a reminiscent smile as they say, "Oh, how they screamed about my lost potential, about how I should have instead given myself skin of iron, and hips suitable for child, instead of making myself comfortable in the only thing anyone can ever truly own.”

“But look at me now; my expertise in creating and altering Perfection spells makes it so that every one of the brats of the people who cried false tears over my potential comes to me for my expert instruction.” they say with an exuberant aura of pride and victory.

Calming down, Kailin ends it off by saying, “Either way, my experience isn’t exactly a great example for your first forging, unless you similarly are in the wrong skin.”

Scoffing a bit, Tara says, "No, and if I was, that could have been solved long ago.”

Kailen looks at me in a curious fashion at that comment, but quickly dismisses the thought.

Falling into the recesses I begin to think of what would be the best option. My greatest asset here in the Astral Plane is my mind, and from what I saw in their myths an enhanced mind is something they can readily do, I'll have to be a bit careful since most mind enhancements from my world require at least a couple years in front of a therapist before they allow you to stick a chip into your mind junk and start automating remembering the names of all your acquaintances. I doubt messing with my mind with magic wouldn't have some sort of effect.

Hmm, while my mind is a good target, the most obvious thing to upgrade does have a lot of merit. Flat out, making me harder to kill with harder skin and some backup organs gives me a much bigger leeway on how risky a move I can make, while also making it so that I won't die in a freak accident. It is a tad bit boring as the main focus, but survival trumps boredom and well everything else.

Although speed, the last thing I thought of would handily increase my survival capabilities while also not being as dull as a bag of rocks. Plus it would still be useful on the home base for projects.I almost salivate thinking of how much work I could do with something similar to the speed mods you could get back home. I remember my brother could set up a table in seconds with some replacement tendons and an increased ratio of quick twitch muscles.

Although frankly he needed a chip stuck in his brain to handle the speed, so how would this work, perhaps … wait, I have someone who knows way more than me right here I should just ask them.

Casually I ask Kailin “What would racketing up my brains power require, and what would I get?”

Musing Kailin says “For requirements on the mind there aren’t many since you can’t exactly stuff iron in your brain and expect it to work better, but your mind is already greedy for food increasing its potential requires some minor alterations to the digestive system before you could do anything major”

I make a minor wince as I realize that they have no proper precautions for messing with a mind so even as they speak of what an enhanced mind can do, such as being able to personally choose where memories are sent, simulate the flight paths of projectiles and get a natural instinct for learning. I promptly and swiftly throw my plans for an enhanced mind out the window, we put regulations on mind altering modifications for a reason, you can’t just jam an entirely new way of perceiving the world without preparation.

Hmm if that’s the case then out of what I want only durability and speed is available, and frankly I appreciate being able to do something more than I appreciate the ability to resist something. As Kailin finishes up their speech I decide right then and there what my first forging will be.

“Alright Kailin load me up with some spells, quickly for I’m going for some real speed!”