33 - A memory of ruin

"Most people never personally encounter magic.

At most, they’ll spot a council mage in the distance, or meet some unfortunate teen who just discovered their powers.

If they’re truly unlucky, they meet a rogue mage, or a Syndicate agent, and they’re rightly scared of their madness and violence.

But our most terrible enemies are the best hidden ones. It’s far too easy, even for ThauCons, to forget about the Hidden Schools, burrowed in their pocket dimensions, and the Order of the Broken Moon, untouchable in Selenopolis.

We can’t afford to forget they exist, and they command world-shaking power."

Colonel Hayes, at the ThauCon Oath-renewal celebration

Iketek forces me to drink some apple juice along the way, and while I’m so tired I have to lean on her to work, I don’t collapse in exhaustion like I did after the jewelry fuckup. Even if I think I used even more magic, today.

“Why is magic so exhausting?” I say, as I force myself to put one foot in front of another. I feel like I’ve been walking for weeks.

I meant it as a rhetorical question, like complaining about the cold in Rakavdon, but Iketek answers seriously.

“Your body resists the Else,” she says. “Crossing the Veil is physically stressful. In time, you’ll begin to permanently disincarnate, and exhaustion will become less and less of an issue. But that’s not always a good thing. You won’t physically tire, but you’ll still damage your mind using too much power.”

“If I live long enough to go mad, I’ll call it a win,” I say, stopping halfway through the stairs to catch my breath. “Are you sure we should go home? What if the ThauCons are waiting for us?”

“We’ll take the risk, because I can’t mind-call Daravoi due to the wards I set, and the Abyss-cursed idiot isn’t answering the phone,” she says. “Anyway, it’s been sixteen minutes since you used magic. Even if they found out about this place, ThauCons can’t get here that fast except by chopper, and we’d hear that. So, hurry up. We get Dara, burn our electronics, and go.”

“Ugh, I liked having a working ID chip,” I complain. “But I also like not being hanged. Let’s go.”

My voice trembles at the word hanged. That’s what will happen if they catch me, and today I escaped that by the skin of my teeth. I can’t really wrap my mind around that.

Iketek half-carries me up one flight of stairs, then she puts her hand on the door lock, her eyes flash gold, and it clicks open.

“Couldn’t you just dial the code?” I ask.

“This way, I also checked the ward on it,” she answers, “the door hasn’t been opened since we left. We should be fine. Daravoi? Are you here?”

Daravoi emerges from our room, eyes groggy with sleep. I feel a pang of sadness at the idea that this won’t be our home anymore.

“Are you back already? Did you…” he stops, frowning. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah. Had a run-in with ThauCon,” Iketek says, curt, “we got away, but it’s time to relocate, quickly. Get dressed and destroy all your electronics. I have some burner phones. We leave in two minutes.”

He shakes his head. “ThauCon? How did that…”

“I fucked up,” I say. I’m not even sure it’s true, but we don’t have time to discuss. “We must go, really.”

“Moonbreaker’s tits,” he says. “Are you ok? You look like shit, Kore.”

“I’m tired, but really, we must go. Get dressed.”

Daravoi clenches his jaw. “Wasn’t today's job supposed to be safe?” He asks, looking at Iketek with a trace of anger in his voice. “I’d have come with you, if I knew it was a risk.”

“I’m not sure what went wrong,” Iketek says, obviously annoyed, “but now it’s no time to debate, I’m leaving this house in two exact minutes from now. If you’re not ready, you’re not my problem.”

“Fine,” he says, “but we’ll need to talk about…”

“Shut up!” Iketek says, her tone suddenly urgent. “And come here, now!”

What is happening? Dara looks behind himself, then has the sense to run toward us.

I peek into the Else, even if it makes my stomach twist, like trying to eat when I’m already bursting. The world tinges with blue, except for Iketek’s golden wards along the walls and the sparks in her eyes.

I open my mouth to ask what’s happening, but then I see it - one of the wards she made, like a golden net around the whole flat, is being shredded. Something like a blade of white-blue lightning is slashing through it in the Else, from every direction at once.

“Kore.” she commands, urgent. “Hide us with a Lie. From the Material and the Else. Now.”

“I’m not sure I can…” I begin.

“I’m not good enough,” she says, “you’re our best shot. Do it.”

I want to protest that I’m just learning to make Lies involving the Else, that I’m tired and I feel sick at the thought of using magic, that I need a real adult to help me.

But in a moment of dizzying clarity, I realize that I’m really by myself. Big sis, Joli, my mothers aren’t here to help - I turned my back on them all. Iketek acts tough, but she’s barely older than us, and I’m getting better than her in certain Paths.

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So I take a deep breath and Channel power from the Else - my hands burn, my stomach heaves so much I bend double, forcing down vomit. But I can do it, I don’t need that much power. Just enough for the easiest of Lies. We aren’t here.

I don’t need to reach far, I only need a world where we caught the previous train from the University station, we got here two minutes earlier, and Daravoi didn’t waste any time.

Pulling the Lie into the world isn’t enough this time, though. I have to drag it back into the Else, in a way that makes my mind bleed if I think too much about it. It’s like turning a pocket inside out, and then hiding it inside itself. It makes no sense, but I can drag a possible world from the Else, and then make the Else believe that world is real.

The Else is a deeper truth than the Material. But even deep truths can be changed.

I’ve barely finished weaving the Lie - I draw a quick circle around us to act as anchor - that Iketek’s ward breaks in a shower of golden sparks, some of them briefly visible in the Here.

“Sight-path,” Iketek whispers. “Council mages, I guess. Stay still.”

Nothing obvious happens, but in the Else, there’s a flash of white lightning, and something tears. Looking at it, for the first time I understand something Iketek said - that you can go deeper in the Else, even if you don’t move in space. Ringed by writhing white-blue lighting, there’s a hole, a mouth leading deep into the Else. And someone is peering through it.

As I try to make sense of the Else, I notice what’s happening Here: the mirror in our hallway doesn’t reflect the wall anymore. It’s like a window now, and a face is looking from behind it. Dark skin, glowing white eyes, hair dyed blue. I met him - professor Adavert’s grad student.

He looks around, with one hand pressed against the mirror. His fingers look like glass filled with lighting.

For a moment, I think he’s looking straight at me, but no, he’s looking through me. His power pushes against my Lie, but it’s like a strong wind, not directed at me specifically. But it doesn’t matter. We’re not here. We left already.

Except I’m so fucking tired, and every second I have to hide us, my limbs feel heavier.

Finally, he frowns, and the ring of lightning in the Else disappears, together with the pressure on my Lie. The mirror turns back to a regular mirror.

It lasted less than ten seconds, but I’m done for. I stagger, my knees feel like jelly, and I slump on the floor. Time to sleep.

“Kore!” Daravoi calls, and grabs my shoulders, trying to pull me up.

“Don’t worry,” I say, resting my face on the cool floor. I can rest, just a minute. “He hasn’t seen us.”

“He?” Iketek asks, dragging me to my feet. Even if I’d really prefer to sleep for a while.

“You haven’t seen him?” I ask.

“What… look, talk later,” she commands. “Dara, get dressed now, and destroy all our electronics with magic. I’ll take Korentis down. If someone is looking for us here, we’re out of time.”

***

I’m in no shape to go far, every step I take makes my head spin. Luckily, while I was fucking around at the university, Daravoi actually did something useful, and studied the neighborhood for hiding places. He has a knack for this crime stuff, he could make a career of it.

He takes us to an abandoned, ice-crusted boathouse leaning on the river. An old boat, rusted and freeze-cracked, lies sadly inside it, together with some decaying mechanical thingie that probably goes into engines.

“I don’t get it,” Iketek says, “property values along the river are extremely high. How can a place like this stay unused?”

“You’re a criminal, Iketek, but you’re a fancy pants criminal,” Daravoi answers. “You have no idea how many abandoned places there are in Rakavdon, even in the city center. Some centenarian dies, no one is sure who inherits the house, or the whole family is gone, or the heir doesn’t want to pay for maintenance, but they’re rich enough that they don’t care about selling. Squatting in Vorok would be super easy, except you’d freeze solid without heating.”

“Falling population,” Iketek considers, “even in such a wealthy country. But good news for us. We’ll need to lie low. Squatting for a while could be a good option. I should have thought of it.”

She looks strangely worried - the whole planet has been depopulating for decades, it’s not exactly breaking news.

“Shut up and let me sleep,” I groan, my voice sluggish. Daravoi grunts and lays down a thermal sleeping bag he grabbed from our flat. Our old flat, I guess.

“But it’s cold,” I say, as I slide into it. “Can you make some fire?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Iketek warns, “ThauCon is looking for us, and we’re three minutes from the flat. The bag will do.”

“You’re no fun,” I whine. How could I sleep in this freezing cold? But my eyelids are heavy, and admittedly, I’m starting to warm inside the bag.

“How are you?” Daravoi asks, sitting on his haunches, next to me. “I still don’t know what the fuck happened at the university, you know. You look like shit.”

“I’m stil cooold,” I say. “Want to warm me up with your body, Dara?” I ask. I can’t think straight, but I have a confusing notion that this will fuck with him. And that maybe I’d like it, if Daravoi actually crawled in the bag with me.

His cheeks flush red. “I, uh,” he says, flustered, “I’m not sure…”

“There’s obviously no room for both of you,” Iketek says, exasperated, “and Korentis is obviously not in xir right mind, insofar as xe has a right mind. So keep your hormones to yourself.”

“I…yeah, you’re right,” Daravoi says. Pity.

“Moving to meaningful matters,” Iketek says, “we’ll have to wait here as long as possible. I don’t think ThauCons will start searching random buildings - that’s not how they act, there’s too few of them. And hopefully, they don’t realize how exhausted Korentis is, so they’ll assume we ran away. But their drones might be patrolling, and they can probably access the local cameras.”

Daravoi frowns. “Can the Council mages scry us? Or follow our trail with their past-summoning trick?”

“Not as long as you stick close to me,” Iketek says. “I wear a pendant with a bound anti-scry ward, made by the Vermillion Fortress - a gift from the Prop Master. Also, you need some connection or personal knowledge to scry specific people. Places are far easier. As for following our trail, only a truly exceptional Seer could follow us by summoning the past, it gets very difficult on a crowded street.”

“Lovely. I’ll nap then,” I say. “Wake me up next year.”

She turns to me. “One last issue and I’ll let you sleep, Kore. Did you see the Seer? Do you know who he is?”

“The grad student,” I say, “blue hair asshole.”

Iketek nods. “It seems likely he’s a Council agent, then. He’s definitely powerful, but from the feeling I got when he broke through the wards, he’s not much good with the Path of Sight.”

“What if they find us here, though?” Daravoi asks, nervous. “It’s good for a while, but we can’t stay here too long. Except we can’t go far, with Kore wasted.”

“I’m not waaaaasted,” I say, looking up. There’s an ugly concrete ceiling, but the moon shines through it, the crack is blue and beautiful. “Just a little tired. Tell ThauCon I need to sleep a little more and then I can trick them again.”

I laugh, without glancing away from the moon. I’m lying exhausted in dirty snow, the men in silver are looking for me, I had to burn my ID chip again, and we didn’t get the relic we were supposed to steal.

But it doesn’t matter. Good friends watch over me. I can Lie my way past ThauCon and council mages. They can’t touch me, they can’t touch us. The moon is bright and beautiful. Why do they call it broken? It’s not a crack.

It’s like the light seeping from a closed door. Beyond it, something loves us.