16 - A Business Proposal

All minds touch the Else, knowingly or not. That’s why even some Mundanes develop a degree of sensitivity to mental presence - like the awareness of being watched, or the wordless communication close friends and siblings sometimes enjoy.

Mages, on the other hand, can see the true form of minds. Most mages, looking in the Else, can at the very least ascertain the presence of thinking minds. Many can glimpse their emotional state and thoughts.

A few see the minds of others with extreme clarity, and theirs is one of the most delicate and terrible Paths, the Path of Mind.

* The Art of the Veil, chapter 2, the Paths to the Else

“So, we go meet the creepy mind-mage girl?” Daravoi asks.

“I’ll go. Maybe you should stay,” I say, “If she’s legit, there’s no need for both of us. And if it’s a trap, at least you won’t get caught.

“All true,” he says, “then again, if it’s not a trap, you’ll fuck up because you’re a stupid rich kid, and probably insane. So, I’m coming too.”

I shrug, but internally, I sigh with relief. I would obviously fuck everything up by myself.

“About fucking up,” I say, “Don’t they check IDs at night clubs? Do we need a way to sneak inside?”

Not that I ever went to any night club. Noisy, crammed with people, everyone hits on everyone - disgusting. But my classmates were pitifully excited when they became old enough to go.

Daravoi gives me a flat stare.

“ID checks? At fancy clubs, maybe. But the Moonbreaker? Half the people there are illegals, half wanted criminals, half drug traffickers.”

“That’s a lot of halves,” I point out.

“No, it’s right,” he says, “a lot of people are all of those things.”

“So… Criminals? Is it dangerous?” The idea of going to a sketchy night club makes me more nervous than meeting a mind-walking thief.

Daravoi takes a deep breath and pinches his nose. “You’re scared of criminals? Kore, we are criminals.”

“Yeah, but those would be real criminals”, I correct him. It seems a very reasonable objection.

Daravoi stares at me. “You can tell people to pretty please give you their money and they’ll do it, and they’ll smile too,” he says, deadpan. “That’s creepy shit. I’d prefer an honest robbery at gunpoint.”

He told me that already, and I made it Rule Five: don’t be a mind-controlling villain. It’s still hard to take him seriously, though. I’ve been called many things in my life, but never scary. I’ve never felt scary.

Except when we met the bounty hunters in the skyport. It was really easy to make a Lie where I’m terrifying. And the easiest lies are those closest to reality.

I don’t like this train of thought, so, time to change topic and never consider it again!

“Do you think she told me the truth? That she wants to hire us for a job?” I ask. “I mean, it’s really convenient, given we’ll be out of money in less than a week.”

We’ve already downgraded our lodging to what must be the shittiest bunk dorm in the city, and we’re eating pressed algae. It turns out I hate being poor.

Daravoi shrugs. “Well, we have ThauCon’s attention already. Whoever she is and whatever she wants, she can’t be worse than them.”

“What if she is a Council Mage?” I remember the girl in the green dress. She looked very different from the one in the vision, but wouldn’t a mind-mage look however she wished? Then again, the Council shouldn’t have mind-mages at all. That Path, like the Path of Lies, is forbidden even to them.

“The Council? They’re useless, it’s a fancy prison for mages.” Daravoi snorts. “And trying to arrest us in a crowded nightclub would be a shit idea for ThauCon. I’m a little worried that she’s with the Syndicates. But if she is, we can just tell her to fuck herself and leave, she wouldn’t want a public fight.”

I nod thoughtfully, like someone who really knows what the Syndicates do. By now, I’m too embarrassed to ask.

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“We’ll go, then,” I say. “Even if cycling all the way there will be torture. What’s the point of being a powerful mage, if I must sweat like any mundane?”

I never used the word mundane before. It feels strange in my mouth, but I like it. Mundane. Something I am not.

“Come on, it’s one hour, tops," Dara sounds uncharacteristically upbeat. "There’s a hostel near the Moonbreaker, we can get a room there, so we can rest and shower before meeting the mage. But before we go, we must hit the thrift shops.”

“Thrift shops? Why?” I ask, honestly confused.

“To go shopping, duh” he answers. “You wouldn't be going for a night out dressed like that, right?”

***

I don’t like loud noises. I hate dancing. I like flirting, but only as a game, and I loathe physical contact. Why couldn’t we meet with the mysterious mind mage in some nice and quiet place, like a graveyard?

In the hostel’s bathroom, I look at myself in the cracked mirror.

My hair is bleached white - which is cool, I should do that more often.

Where a shirt would usually go, I’m wearing… basically a bunch of neon green strips, connected haphazardly. Daravoi swears is very fashionable and punk.

He also got me to wear a knee-length skirt made of black tassels. They almost cover my underwear from a few angles, as long as I don’t move. Dara says that’s the point, and made me buy matching black panties.

Overall, I look like my clothes came out of a paper shredder. I’m showing more pale skin than I ever did outside of a hot pool.Daravoi insists that’s how you’re supposed to dress for the Moonbreaker, but I think he was also having fun with my discomfort. He even took the time to paint tattoos on my chest with invisible paint, so they’ll glow in the UV light. They basically say I’m into drugs, I’m single, and I want to have fun. By the way he sniggered, I suspect the last one is code for sex-worker.

Despite his efforts in turning me into a convincing raver, I mostly look like someone who is going to die of awkwardness very soon.

But I don’t need to be. I could reach through the veil and…

I stop myself. I can’t risk using magic, that’s the whole reason we’re playing dress-up. Also, reaching for the Else is becoming way too natural.

I feel the need for a Lie, though. Dressing up might make me look like someone who enjoys a wild party, but it won’t change me.

If I want to be someone who’d be remotely comfortable half-naked in a night club, I need to change my mind.

I’m suddenly hit by a realization - if I want a Lie to affect only my own mind, I don’t need magic at all. I don’t need the Else, to know I could have been someone else.

After all, this could be me. If I didn’t hate loud noises so much. If I had grown up with more friends. If I weren’t so ill at ease with my own body. If I cared more about sex and music.

I’ve nothing against parties, after all. They’re just… not for me. But they could be.

I close my eyes, and when I open them, in the mirror I see myself. Who else?

I blow a kiss at my reflected image, then stick my tongue out. Why did I worry about a night out? I’m cool, I look amazing, and if we deal with the creepy mage girl quick enough, we’ll have time to have some fun.

No longer horrified by my clothes, or lack thereof, I notice I’m showing the thin scars from my top surgery. Hiding them with a Lie would be so easy, I don’t think it would be a real risk. Usually, I hate seeing them. But surprisingly, now I’m fine with them. Woah, it looks like creeping Else-madness is the perfect treatment for body image issues!

A young person enters the room, and looks at me. “You, uh, look great,” xe says.

Xe sounds shy and tentative, and xe’s blushing already. I smile back, give xem a good square. Xe’s tall, with curly red hair, and freckles. Definitely rates cute or better.

“I’m going to the Moonbreaker with a friend,” I say. “care to join us?”

“I, uh… sorry, we already booked at Trevellis,” xe says, looking honestly upset about it.

I shrug. “You were worth a try. Anyway, I’ll be here tomorrow, too. I have a bunk in room seven.”

Xe goes red in the face, but smiles and seems pretty happy about it, as I leave.

I never had casual sex before. I barely had sex at all, and found it way overrated. But I find myself wishing that the red-haired stranger will come knocking, later.

I finish applying some eyeliner, check that I’m still hot, and leave, looking for Daravoi.

What was I even worried about? I could have so much more fun in my life, if I relaxed a little and…

I freeze in the middle of the corridor, reality snapping in like a bucket of cold water.

Lost Stars, what was I thinking? I just invited some random kid to come with us at the Moonbreaker – what the Abyss would I have done, if xe had agreed? Look, we can flirt later, just give me a minute to find a mage I met in my dreams.

I could have made up some bullshit, of course. Or just lose them on the dance floor. I can even pretend it was a calculated move – going with a third person might help fool ThauCon.

But there was no plan, I acted on impulse, forgot what I’m actually doing this night. That was stupid, even for me. Pointless. And not even my usual brand of stupid.

Am I behaving like the stupid rich kid who leaves xir family for the first time and immediately passes out drunk at a party?

Or am I going Else-mad?

It’s supposed to be something that happens slowly, and only to some people. But how would I know?

I shove away the thought. With some luck, the Art of the Veil will have a section called How Not To Go Insane. Or I might ask Iketek, the mind mage. She looked sane in my dream. Well, sane-ish.

Anyway, I’ll worry about Else-madness once I have a way to hide from ThauCon. Right now, I might as well enjoy the night out.

***