***
“Drink this,” Daravoi says, curt.
“No, I’m fine,” I say. Drinking seems so much work.
“Kore, fucking drink. You used too much magic.” he says. So annoying. Can’t he let me sleep?
“I’ll rest a bit,” I say, even speaking is a feat. “I’ll drink tomorrow. I swear.”
“Oh fucking Abyss,” he says, “You’re dying, and I can’t let you do it, because I must kill you myself. So drink.”
A strong, callused hand grabs my jacket collar and pulls me up, not very gently, propping my back against something.
Where are we? I just want to sleep a bit. It’s nice and warm.
“I just…” I say, but Daravoi forces a cardboard cup against my mouth, and reclines it, pouring liquid. I risk choking, and end up drinking, cursing and spitting at once.
“Are you fucking mad?” I try to say, but it’s more like mpgjfhd, which might confuse the point.
“I’m mad, as in fucking angry,” he says, “and you’re mad, as in insane. Anyway, drink.”
It’s a sickeningly sweet energy drink, the kind that would give an aneurysm to my moms if it ever entered our house, and I made a point of drinking noisily in front of them as a teen.
Why is Dara force-feeding me an energy drink? Less sleepy, I drink it by myself, trying to focus. Fallen Home, my brain is mush.
Did I really just rob a jeweler using blatant magic? No, even I can’t be that stupid. It must have been a dream.
“Where are we?” I ask, still coughing. It’s night, there’s no light except the stars above, and the moon, with its mesmerizing rifts. They’re light blue and purple, today, like thin cracks radiating across the sky. It whispers…
“Old library,” Dara grumbles, “it’s an abandoned dome. Now shut up and eat, so I can get to the part where I yell at you.”
He hands me a paper package with fried grasshoppers and some salad. I take them, and realize my fingers are shaking with cold - I’m not warm at all, I’m freezing, how could I think it was warm?
“I’m cold,” I say. “Is it getting colder?”
“No, you’re getting less dead,” he answers. “Eat.”
I start shaking as my body becomes less numb. I’m also hungry, now, but I barely manage to bring the fried bugs to my mouth, my hands shake so much.
“C-can you make some fire?” I ask.
“Fucking no,” he answers, “the last thing we should do is use more magic. You won’t die, with some sugar in your blood. And if you do, you had it coming.”
My memory starts becoming less fuzzy. Yes, I did use magic to steal a necklace. I used a lot of magic and wasn’t subtle about it.
“You think I alerted the ThauCon?” I ask.
“Think? I heard a chopper coming five minutes after we got on the train!” Dara says, raising his voice, “and I had to carry you here, and then you fell asleep and wouldn’t move! Fuck!”
There’s a stridulous note in his voice.
“Aaaw, you were worried for me,” I say, “that’s cute.”
He glares at me - I can barely see his face in the shadows, and still, he looks furious. There’s a sudden movement, a slap, and my face hurts like the abyss. I cough the grasshopper I was munching, and look at Dara. I’m so surprised, I’m not even angry.
“You slapped me? What the fuck?” I ask.
It hurts. Like, really hurts. I thought slapping people was a symbolic thing, but the whole side of my face smarts.
“Shut up. Eat.” He says. Then he sits in front of me, his eyes closed, sinking a bit in the snow.
I consider yelling at him. You don’t just hit people, doesn’t he know? But I get the feeling he could slap me again, and also, I’m hungry.
“Sorry,” he says his voice low, as I finish my bag of grasshoppers. “I shouldn’t have done that. Even if by the Exiled, you had it coming.”
“Did the ThauCon really come?” I ask.
He nods. “What the fuck did you do? I felt your magic without even touching the Else, and I was two blocks away.”
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“I got a bit carried away in a job,” I say. “But I have something to show for it!”
With a flourish, I take the necklace from my pocket and show it to him. Yes, I did something stupid, but this is worth a ton of money. He will apologize to me, seeing it!
Even in the pale light of the moon, the gem is beautiful, it looks like a piece of the sky is trapped inside it. Dara doesn’t look happy, though. He looks at the stone, then at me, his mouth set into a straight line.
“See? It was worth it,” I say, sounding unconvinced.
“Is this some kind of game to you?” He asks, sounding honestly confused.
“I just thought… We could make a lot of money. Get us nice things,” I answer. It’s not even true - I just wanted the stone.
“This fucking stone must be worth tens of thousands of credits,” he says, exasperated, “and it’s just been stolen by a mage. No one will want to fence it - and we can’t risk it, because the reward for turning in a rogue mage is even more money.”
“Oh,” I say. “I didn’t think about that.”
“Of course you didn’t think!” He says, punching down in the snow, which is better than punching me, I guess. “Because you’re a fucking rich brat who thinks stealing is some sort of shitty hobby! But ThauCon won’t care, if they catch you, and they’ll care even less if they catch me! We’ll do years of re-education!”
Re-education - if you don’t turn yourself in, and sometimes even if you do, you’re supposed to go to a re-education camp where they scream at you and beat you all the time, at least if the movies are true. Then you get a silver tattoo - on your arms, if you’re lucky, or on your face, if you did enough crimes.
Sister told me, the longer I’d stay rogue, the harder it would be to avoid re-ed. And Dara wouldn’t have her connections to help.
“I’m sorry,” I say, “I… I didn’t think. I’m really sorry. And thank you for helping me, you didn’t have to.”
Dara doesn’t answer. He crosses his arms, clenching his fists, hard. After a minute of awkward silence and freezing cold, I feel the urge to say something, anything to get him to speak again.
“Want to slap me again?” I ask. “Honestly, I had it coming.”
He looks at me, suddenly at a loss.
“Wait, what?”
“You look like you want to punch something. Which I guess is me. And I mean… you’re right. I fucked up.”
He looks incredulous for a moment, then, to my relief, he bursts into laughter. A long, somewhat hysteric laugh. Finally, he balls some snow in his hands and throws it at me. I’m too slow to duck, and I end up spitting snow. Some of it gets into my collar, which I hate, but I don’t mind, if it means things are kinda-fine again.
“You’re impossible, Korentis,” he says. “And… I mean, I’m not your mom. Steal whatever you want. You’ll have to tell me how it went, actually, I bet people will be freaking out about the magical robber tomorrow.”
He pauses, and then he’s serious again. “But it’s hard to tell with you sometimes. Do you understand - really understand - this is dangerous? If ThauCon really wants to, they’ll catch us sooner or later. And if that happens… look, I don’t know how it would go exactly, but not good.”
I feel the urge to look away - I suddenly find the dilapidated courtyard around us very interesting. I look at the skeleton of the broken dome which once covered it, and the moon above, with its beautiful cracks.
Well, I fucked up, but at least I didn’t break any major celestial body.
I don’t feel like laughing, though. I’m ok with people being angry with me, that’s what they’re supposed to be. But Dara sounded disappointed. I hate that.
“I know I do… stupid stuff sometimes, and not in the good way” I say. “I don’t do it on purpose. But it’s like I forget the future exists, like I get so obsessed with doing something, I completely forget why I want to do it.”
I’m happy I can’t see Daravoi’s face, because I know what he’s thinking. Else-touched, Veil-mad.
Is that really happening to me?
I squash the thought.
“Anyway,” I say, “I can’t unmake my idiocy. I’ll try to do better. But well, you still helped me. So, have this.”
I offer him the aquamarine stone, in my open hand.
“What?” He takes a step back. “Do you understand how much this thing is worth?”
“About thirty-thousand credits,” I say. “Which is enough to eat for a couple years, even if you fence it at half the value,” I add.
I’m really proud of knowing that. I did the math on purpose, to sound like I have any clue about poor people’s money.
“It’s yours,” he says, “you were an idiot to take it, but I’m not saying it’s mine!”
“It’s mine,” I say, “and I’m giving it to you. As a thank-you note. Also, it’s insurance of a kind. If I get caught, or ThauCon gets your magical signature, you can sell it in a different city and lay low for a good while.”
There’s another reason. I did something stupid to get this gem, and it feels right that I don’t own it in the end, to make up for it. But that’s the kind of thing that other people never understand.
He takes the gem, slowly. I relax a little - there were a million ways he could get the message wrong. That I was trying to buy him off instead of apologizing, or the usual shit people make up to get even angrier.
“You… I’m sorry that I got that angry.” With slow, careful movements he pockets the gem. “And I’m not going to leave you to the Silvers, stupid or not. That’s not how it works.”
I’m not sure what doesn’t work in what way, but it sounded like he meant something nice, so I don’t ask.
He sweeps the snow away between us, revealing the bare concrete. He traces his fingers on it in a pattern, slow but sure, and the concrete glows red where he touches it.
He draws a circle, with three binding symbols, and when he’s done, red glass-like fire erupts in a fountain. My skin tingles with pleasure at the warmth.
“What about avoiding magic?”
He shrugs, a hint of a smile on his face.
“It was you, not me, using magic, and it was hours ago. Should be fine. Also, I’m freezing my ass.”
We stay there for a minute, hands towards the magical fire.
“That’s not how what works?” I ask.
Dara looks at me, confused, then he understands.
“Lost Stars, you’re weird,” he says. “I meant that’s not how friends work, you idiot. That’s why I was so angry. I can’t leave a pal to the Silvers. It’s better to end up in re-ed with them. But I’ll be really furious if we end up in the camps because of your shit.”
I never had many friends - a few kids tried, but then got exasperated. Daravoi will too, probably, if we don’t get arrested before.
But then again, I never tried to give people priceless stones before. Maybe that’s the secret. Maybe normal people have secret precious-stone-gifting parties I was never invited to, that’s how they make friends.