Crystal stormed into the hot, enclosed classroom, slamming her books loudly on the nearest table.

“Great,” she seethed, “Just great. My first detention in my whole life!”

“Well, we all have to quit the goody-goody stuff someday,” Amanda said, following close behind, “May I just say that I am proud to be the one who stole your innocence.”

“Shut up,” Crystal hissed, “This is your fault.”

“Actually, it was more of Austin’s fault,” said Troy, popping out of nowhere.

“Actually, it was your fault,” Austin said, popping Troy on the head.

“No one asked you,” Amanda and Crystal said in unison, taking opposite sides of the table to glare at each other.

Actually, Crystal thought, it was everyone’s fault. It was Amanda’s fault for trying to do all the work; Crystal’s fault for trying forcefully to not let her. Kaine was to blame for unnerving Crystal to the point where she dropped the vial of acid. Troy, Sam, and Austin’s fault for being dumb enough to think that dropping the acid was part of the experiment, and Daniel was just there because he was dumb enough to laugh at them after Ms. Hoffmann chewed them all out.

Crystal could still picture the exact shade of red on Ms. Hoffmann’s face when she’d screamed that they’d all be staying for detention on Friday evening. As in, after four o’clock. How that was legal, Crystal couldn’t begin to fathom. Still, there they were, on a Friday evening, being guarded by the ancient librarian, Ms. Itemiser. The woman was unfortunate not only to be old and ugly, but convinced that whenever she spoke, everyone gave a damn.

“You know Crystal, if you just would’ve let me tell Ms. Hoffmann how sexy I was, we could’ve gotten out of this,” Daniel muttered.

“What do you mean? I’m the sexiest person in this room,” Austin said, affronted. At 6’2” with reddish-brown hair and bulky arm muscles, Austin often made comments attesting to his attractiveness. But Crystal noticed that when girls were in sight and paying attention to him, he had a way of spacing out. If someone were to ask Crystal she’d tell them both that they were more ugly than the daily excretions of a very sick penguin.

“I don’t think getting slapped eighty-nine times by the class blondes counts as a very high rating on the sexy-meter,” Amanda said.

“It was worth it, “ Daniel wailed.

“Should have gone for ninety,” Troy said, picking at his fingernails. By far the most feminine of the boys, except for Daniel, Troy kept his appearance immaculate. At least as immaculate as a white boy emulating the common style of hip-hop could be.

“Sam, don’t you think I’m sexy?” Austin asked the taller boy.

“…I don’t know….” Sam rarely spoke, but questions of homosexuality and politics had a way of drawing syllables out of him.

“Is that all he says?” Crystal asked, scathingly.

“Hey, only I can dis Sam,” Amanda said, grabbing one of his gangly arms and crushing it to her chest. This obviously made Sam uncomfortable.

“So? Only I can dis Daniel,” Crystal replied, seizing Daniel and crushing his entire body to her chest. This obviously made Daniel very comfortable.

“Well, all right then,” Amanda said, dropping Sam’s arm.

“Fine, then,” Crystal replied, releasing Daniel.

“Sure,” Amanda said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Okay,” Crystal sniffed, turning away.

“Whatever,” Amanda followed suit.

“Good,” Crystal said.

“What are we talking about?” Kaine asked, cheerfully inserting himself between the seething teens.

“You,” Crystal shouted, rounding on him, “This is all your fault!”

“Haven’t we been here before?” Amanda asked.

Before anyone could answer, Ms. Itemiser shuffled into the room. Her beady eyes seemed to take too much interest in her charges. Fortunately, the musty brown toupee atop her pasty face prevented any immediate concern, as it discouraged eye contact.

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“Now…if you will just sit down,” she began in her thin, watery voice, “I have something interesting I’d like to read to you.”

As it was, everyone had had enough trouble, and so they remained silent as Ms. Itemiser began to read an article on the hermaphroditic traits dominate in a certain North American trout. Crystal didn’t hear a word; she was too busy glaring at Kaine. Between them, Crystal could sense something meaningful, but she couldn’t place what.

Kaine’s green eyes bored into her. Crystal remembered them being a deep indigo. She also remembered white hair, a huge staff, and various other symbolic objects. At least the whole ensemble was enough to convince her that he was a priest, but here he was, imitating a teenager, sagging his uniform khakis and wearing a faded polo and a massive ball-bearing necklace. And her irritation in him being a blonde was enough to make her want to smack him. The guardian priest to some ancient dynasty, or whatever, has a punk rock, valley-girl complex-bullshit.

Still, she couldn’t quit staring at him. At least he was less intimidating in a slacker’s guise…. And more attractive, but that wasn’t why she was staring at him…. Something important was here. The longer she stared, the darker the eyes became. The more she concentrated on him, the more her ears roared.

Suddenly, Crystal got the impression that something was very wrong. She felt--well, she felt too peaceful. As if she was being lulled to sleep, or put under a spell. Kaine’s eyes became very intense and they repeated flicked to Ms. Itemiser. Something on Kaine’s forehead burned purple. Crystal formed a question on her lips, but it never was spoken, because as she listened to Ms. Itemiser read, she knew exactly what was wrong.

“…Fall beneath my spell…sleep; you’re so tired…rest, you must…rest…and be DEVOURED!”

Why did Ms. Itemiser have fangs? Why-oh-!

“SHIT!” Crystal screamed as the ugly old lady’s elbows and knees reversed their joints with a sickening crack, and long, dripping mandibles super imposed themselves on one another to for one big gaping maw of death. As Ms. Itemiser vaulted the teacher’s desk, landing on all fours, Crystal leaped up and back. Just as well, because Ms. Itemiser’s now red eyes focused on her. With a shriek matching that of an animal that has cornered it’s prey, the…thing lunged at Crystal.

It didn’t get even halfway to her. With a thud, Amanda brought down her chair on the creature’s neck, sending flat on its belly. It was fast, though, and as soon as it did hit the ground, a multi-jointed arm lashed out, seized Amanda’s ankle and threw her into the wall. The low-budget papier-mâché collapsed, filling the room with a white, plaster-induced cloud.

Through the dust, Crystal saw Austin punch the monster in the mouth and Troy just waking up from his nap. It was a good thing that no one had paid attention. God, ADD could pay off. But…

“Where’s Daniel?” Crystal cried in alarm.

The Ms. Itemiser-monster refocused her blood-red eyes on Crystal. It screamed again and lunged, batting Austin out of the way like a paper doll. Austin sprawled at Troy’s ankles, tripping him; the extra baggy pants weren’t helping him, either. Crystal made a futile effort to throw something at it, but there was nothing to throw! A retreat became impossible as Crystal smashed into the brick wall that composed the school’s outer wall. The creature closed the gap between Crystal and the others, picking up speed as it went.

Just then Kaine appeared out of nowhere. Not the blonde, but the white haired guy claiming to be a priest. He whirled his staff and brought it squarely on the creature’s head. As before, it fell, and as before it tried to snag an unsuspecting leg, but Kaine jumped upwards. He swung the staff high, in anticipation of the creature standing up, but he didn’t anticipate the creature’s tail, which flicked out like a frog’s tongue wrecking Kaine’s grace. He landed in an odd pile of robes and elbows.

So much for the priest thing…

Crystal used the distraction to run parallel to the wall, but she got no more than ten feet before encountering another wall. The creature now scanned the room for her, and Crystal had to think fast. She grabbed the fire extinguisher off of the wall, and, praying that the thing was kept in better shape than the school, she sprayed a wall of mist between her and the monster. Crystal then dropped to all fours in an attempt to crawl out of the room, but she bumped into something heavy and moving.

Troy groaned and tried to roll over.

“Quiet,” Crystal whispered, “That thing is over there, maybe it can’t see us,”

“What the fu-”

“Let’s get out of here,” Crystal said, urgently.

“Where the he-”

“Come on,”

“All right, all right, woman! Stop dogging me!” Troy’s shout attracted the creature’s attention and it began to stalk in their general direction.

“Shit,” Crystal hissed.

Through the fog, on the other side of the room, Amanda had managed to extract herself from the wall. She looked quite pissed. Crystal heard a faint hum resounding through the room, accompanied but what sounded like flowing water. A bright ball of white light, tinged purple at the edges appeared between Amanda’s hands.

“SUCK ON THIS!” Amanda shouted, flinging one hand out at Ms. Itemiser. The light shot into the monster. Amanda withdrew her hand and then dived beneath one of the remaining tables. Crystal soon figured out why. After a second, the monster began to inflate, it red eyes puffing out and it’s limbs and body swelling. It popped like a water balloon, flinging moisture and bits of Ms. Itemiser in all directions. Crystal’s uniform was splattered in the mix.

There was a very long silence. The door to the room swung slowly open.

“I leave you people alone, for five minutes while I’m gonna take a piss and WHAT did you do?” Sam half shouted entering through the door.

Amanda came out form beneath the table, looking pale but otherwise relaxed. She dusted her hands off brusquely. “We had a problem and we solved it,” she said to Sam.

“We?” asked Crystal.