“This is getting weird,” Amanda was saying two weeks later to Crystal.

“Well, what did you expect? They’re boys,” Crystal selected a bag of chips to go with her overpriced, unappetizing school lunch.

Amanda crinkled up the misspelled love note she was holding and shoved it into her pocket. “Well, I suppose… I just wish I could get a love letter from someone I actually like. But its not like I get them all the time, mind you, just from this one guy.”

“He’s the geek in third period, right?”

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t have Geometry then,” Amanda avoided the chips display, and fetched bottled water from the miniature refrigerator.

“Glasses, messy blonde hair….” Crystal pulled out chocolate milk.

“That’s the one,” Amanda slammed the refrigerator door shut. “I’ve got him in World History and English.”

“Lucky you,” Crystal said, as the pair made their way to a lunch table where the boys were sitting.

“Are you sure that’s fat-free?” Troy asked Daniel just loud enough for Crystal and Amanda to hear the mocking in his voice. “I’m worried about my figure.”

“Check this out,” Amanda pulled the note out for Troy to see, ignoring the chauvinist stereotype.

“Ha, ha… Now you know how it feels,” Troy said, reading it over.

“Troy gets notes form lovesick fourth graders,” Amanda said to Crystal.

“Lovesick eighth graders, and at least they don’t sit next to me in English,” Troy passed the note back.

“Where are Sam and Austin?” Crystal asked.

“They’re stuck in Public Speaking, doing that ‘five nice things about each other’ game,” Troy said.

“What did they do to deserve that?” Amanda asked. To Crystal she said, “Check this out,” and using her newfound control over water and pressure, she popped the top off of her bottle water without even touching it.

“Cool,” Crystal said.

“Oh, Austin grabbed Sam and made him into a human chalkboard eraser, then Sam got mad and called Austin fat, then Austin….” Troy answered Amanda’s question.

“I get the idea,” Amanda cut him off, even as the two boys rounded the corner, arguing.

“It wouldn’t have been as bad if you hadn’t decided to clap me against JP!”

“He was standing right there, and how could you not mention I’m sexy! That would’ve knocked off at least two of the sissy compliments you gave me,” Austin slapped his hand against Sam’s back, sending up a cloud of chalk dust. Austin walked along to the lunch line and promptly began displacing lower classmen as he cut his way to the front of the line. But because he was older, stronger, and bigger, no one seemed to mind being moved by him.

“God, I hate it when he does that,” Sam growled, sitting in a seat next to Amanda, flopping his lunch bag onto the tabletop. The scent of chalk suddenly filled their nostrils.

“It’s not like you don’t act like you’ve got a stick up your ass once in a while,” Troy pointed out, habitually reaching for Sam’s lunch bag.

“It comes from that computer stuff,” Amanda said, patting Sam on the head, even as Sam slammed his fist onto Troy’s hand, protecting his lunch.

“Huh?” Daniel asked.

“Too advanced for you, dear. Go back to sleep,” Crystal soothed. She turned to Amanda, “So how about this Friday?”

“I guess it’s fine by me,” Amanda popped the opening of Troy’s water bottle. She was really having fun with that.

“Don’t you have to ask your mom and dad?” Crystal asked.

“No, not really,” Amanda said. “I kind of tell them where I’ll be and leave my cell phone on. They trust me pretty well. Not at all like your family, huh, Troy?” Amanda smiled at the tall boy. Troy shrugged, peeling back the pink saran wrap from his bagel sandwich. Troy was too good for regular bread.

“They’re letting me go with you, so I guess they trust one of us,” Troy said.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, struggling with his Gatorade top.

“Sleep over,” Amanda took the Gatorade from Sam and popped the top off, not realizing that this threatened the sacred characteristic of Man: pride.

“Slumber party!” Daniel yelled.

“No, dear,” Crystal said.

Sam recovered his ego by making some snide comment about lesbians. Crystal didn’t catch the words, but Amanda retaliated by making the Gatorade spout out of the top of the bottle and into Sam’s lap.

“Here, now. None of that,” Kaine said, walking up to the table with Austin, “No powers in school.”

“Then how do you justify tipping Mrs. Vickers’s coffee over in History this morning?” Amanda asked.

“Act of God, not my fault,” Kaine replied, nonchalantly.

“What kind of priest is he, anyway?” Troy asked. “Damn it, Mom, I hate jelly.” He abandoned his bagel sandwich, in favor of Sam’s venison and mustard on rye.

“Why don’t you make your own damn lunch?” Amanda asked, in defense of home making women everywhere.

“Then what the hell is my mother for? I mean, if I have to buy her a gift on Mothers’ Day, then she had better earn it, God damn it,” Troy said, pounding his fist on the table.

“Here, here,” said Daniel.

“I hope I never have a kid like you,” Crystal muttered.

“You’d have a hell of a time squeezing him out,” Amanda giggled to Crystal.

“So are you going on Friday?” Kaine asked Amanda, scooting Daniel down a seat so he could sit by Crystal.

“My God, are you guys forming some kind of sorority?” Austin asked, muscling Troy aside so he could sit wherever he wanted. Sam crushed Troy’s knuckles again, defending his sandwich.

“No, but it would be helpful if you guys came along,” Kaine said, pouring ketchup liberally all over his corn dogs.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Amanda muttered. She hated corn dogs.

“Ketchup drowns out the grease and dishwater taste,” Kaine told her.

“What are we doing?” Sam asked, not taking his eyes off of the determined, hungry Troy.

“We aren’t doing anything,” Crystal said, “We just need Troy, Austin, and Daniel for this.”

Sam made a face at being left out, but excluded everyone at the table to say to Troy; “You know, Troy, there will be a certain someone who will be very disappointed if you don’t come over this weekend…”

“Oh, Samantha…” Troy murmured aloud. Clearly he was thinking of changing his plans to suit Sam’s attractive twin sister.

“Troy,” Amanda said in a warning voice.

“I’m easily willed by a gorgeous woman,” Troy said, easily draining the tension in Amanda’s voice with his smile. And the fact that he tried to steal Sam’s Doritos and failed miserably put Amanda off of the defensive mode.

“Oh this isn’t gorgeous enough for you?” Crystal indicated her enormously large bust. D size cup is quite an accomplishment for a fifteen-year-old.

“Well….” Troy said, pretending to consider for the sake of Crystal’s pride. He rubbed the spot on his leg where Sam had kicked him under the table for tying to go after Sam’s Gatorade.

“This isn’t about dates and sex,” Kaine said, harshly, “This is life and death.”

“There’s a difference?” asked Troy.

“Whatever,” said Sam, turning his attention back to actually eating his lunch.

“He’s not kidding,” Austin said, looking at Sam with a hardened expression. Rarely did he concentrate on anything but food during lunchtime, but it was very important to Austin that Sam understood just what Austin was giving up in favor of adventure. As much as Austin wanted to play super hero, he still had his anxieties and he damn well didn’t want people like Sam to brush it off as bullshit when Austin’s life was on the line.

“Why don’t you come with us,” Amanda suggested, hopefully. “What are you doing Friday?”

“Working,” Sam said with a harsh simplicity. HE didn’t notice that Amanda’s face fell about fifty feet.

“Fine, be a pansy,” Troy said, “I’ll bet Samantha wants to go.”

“I’ll bet not,” Sam said in defense, forgetting all about his lunch at the mention of his sister as a negotiation tactic.

“I’ll let her be the judge of that,” Troy said, seizing the other boy’s momentary lapse of concentration to snatch up Sam’s snack cake in the blink of an eye. He swallowed it whole.

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“It was really great of you to invite me, Troy,” Samantha said politely, closing the door to Troy’s Tahoe.

Troy smiled at her, casually glancing to where Sam was spying on them from the window in his room. Troy made an inviting gesture, but Sam slammed the blinds shut. He hated to be proved wrong. On top of that, since he said he was working, that’s exactly what he was going to do. Oh, well…let the little prick sulk.

Sam’s father tapped on the glass to Troy’s window.

“Yes, sir?” Troy said, rolling the window down.

“When are you coming back?” The tall, balding man asked nonchalantly.

“About ten-ish, sir,” Troy replied, trying to kiss up. Sam’s dad didn’t buy it.

“All right, the missus and I will be back about midnight,” Mr. Thompson said. “Have fun.”

“Yes, sir,” Troy laid the courtesy on extra-thick.

“And, Troy?” Sam’s father said, with and edge in his self-assured Texan voice.

“Yes, sir?”

“If anything happens to my daughter…” Sam’s dad made the motion of firing a shotgun.

“Daddy!”

“I mean it,” said the middle-aged man with a casual flash of his sharp, white teeth.

“Don’t worry,” Troy said, anxious to get away from the overprotective parent. “The movie theater is right up the street.”

“Bye,” Sam’s dad jumped in the expensive Beamer and drove off to some technology convention or another. What a weird family.

“So, who all is going to be there?” Samantha asked, smoothing her tight black stretch pants over her thighs.

“Just a bunch of people you don’t know,” Troy replied casually, maneuvering out of the driveway and thinking about how much he wanted to be smoothing over her thighs.

Samantha quickly let the conversation drop from there. She wasn’t much of a talker, but that seemed to run in the family. Troy couldn’t stop grinning. He had a real crush on the girl and was pleased that she responded so well to all of the attention that he gave her. How many crushes had he had already? How many girlfriends? It didn’t matter; Troy’s vow was to find the right one, no matter how painful it may be. Unfortunately, it gave him a reputation for being a player.

Troy pulled into the parking lot of the Perplex Theater and wasn’t surprised to see Austin and Amanda jumping out of the four-runner, engaged in another marital argument.

“You should’ve taken the belt way!”

“Do you drive? I don’t think so,” Austin shouted back. Amanda’s one pit fall that Austin could harp on was the fact that she was a year younger than nearly everybody in her grade; hence driving was still out of the question by law. Summer baby.

“We were almost late,” Amanda said.

“Almost,” Austin pointed out.

“Actually, you’re right on time,” Troy said, getting out of the car, “Guys, this is Samantha. Samantha, Amanda and Austin.”

“Hi,” Amanda and Austin said, simultaneously. They turned to head toward the theater, still arguing.

“Are they a couple?” Samantha asked.

“No,” Troy said. How many times had he answered that question?

Yet another romancing couple seemed to be having problems: “Daniel, just because you and I are going to sit in the same movie theater doesn’t count as a date!” Crystal was saying to the skinny boy at the box office line. Kaine in sagging Jincos, a faded gray shirt, and a massive hemp choker accompanied them. “And that does not give you physical privileges!”

“But Crystal…” Daniel whined.

“But nothing,” Crystal snapped. “I may as well take Kaine,” she said, hooking an arm through Kaine’s elbow. “At least he isn’t always thinking of me in a sexual context!”

Troy saw Kaine’s face turn scarlet in a flash, but quickly fade to normal as Daniel said, “Oh my God, you’re cheating on me!”

“Daniel, don’t make a scene!” Crystal hissed as many people in the ticket line began to glance at the wailing boy.

“You’ve left me for a priest!”

The crowd gasped.

“You…” Crystal groped for retaliation.

“Oh, my God, oh my God,” Amanda slapped her hands to her face.

“Oh my God…” Troy muttered. Samantha looked quizzically at Troy.

“Crystal,” Amanda said in a dramatic voice, “You’ve cheated on me with a man!”

The crowd gasped again.

“And an ugly man at that!”

Daniel gasped, “You…slut!” he said to Amanda

“Whore!” Amanda shot back.

“Concubine!”

Amanda gasped in shock, “Home wrecker!” Amanda slapped Daniel.

“Wait!” Crystal wailed, “Don’t fight. I love you both! Let us run away to Tahiti, together!”

There was a long pause. A cricket chirped in the distance.

Finally, Austin began to clap, Troy joined in reluctantly, and soon the whole ticket line realized that it was just some dumb act. Troy felt his cheeks turn scarlet. Fine time for Amanda and her friends to pull the geek role-playing acts that they loved to do. Samantha wasn’t used to that kind of stuff. And Kaine had to be mocking him, wearing an outfit like that. It would be exactly what Troy would have worn, if he weren’t trying to impress a lady.

After everybody had forgotten about the crazy teenagers and bought their tickets, Troy pulled Amanda aside to say, “Would you watch what you do? You could get me in trouble.”

Amanda rounded on him, “Look, this isn’t a date for me, this is a compromise. If you can’t handle juggling a conservative girls with your normal friends, then why don’t you take your Eddie Bauer and Banana Republic pseudo-class someplace else.”

Troy took offense at that, “You know, I’ve got better things to do.”

“Then go do them. Quit wasting both our time,” Amanda replied.

Austin chose that moment to ask them what they wanted for snacks. Austin sensed the bad mood between them and decided to deflect it by playing “who can out charm Troy’s date.”

“And what can I get for you?” Austin turned his dark brown eyes to Samantha; using his suave “you’re the only girl on Earth” look.

Samantha blushed and murmured an inaudible reply. Austin leaned closer to her so she could repeat herself, raising an inviting brow as he did so. Troy chose that moment to elbow the extra large soda off the counter and onto Austin’s hip.

Austin yelped and jumped away. He brushed the drink off and glared at Troy, furiously.

Troy laughed, “Did you wet yourself, Austin?” Troy offered his arm to Samantha, still chuckling.

“Men,” Crystal said to Amanda, causing the taller girl to smile.

The movie they had picked was not chosen for quality. Some flick about lost lovers on a submarine with a bomb in the missile compartment and a ghost child running around. It looked like it had been dubbed in another language, and the cast sucked.

Troy had more immediate things on his mind, besides the movie, however. Now…How to engage physical contact with Samantha innocently?

So far, every trick had been tried. There was the yawn, the pick lint off the opposite shoulder, and the “I’m scared!” hold. Troy didn’t think any of those would work on Samantha. She held both hands clasped in her lap, like a perfect lady. Let’s see…He could offer her candy…Or was it too soon into the movie? Troy could pretend he dropped something and reach down to pick it up, “accidentally” brushing up against her leg. No, she would probably say something to Sam, and Sam would tell their dad, and then Troy wouldn’t be able to engage in any physical contact for a long time. He could pretend to be admiring her nails…but no. Samantha seemed to be thoroughly engrossed by the movie. Maybe it would be better to just pretend to watch the movie, too.

Troy glanced at where Amanda was sitting, on the other side of Samantha. Amanda was obviously not enjoying the movie, either, and probably still pissed off at him. Maybe he’d better apologize before Amanda’s fragile little grip on reality exaggerated her temper. Nah…He and Amanda had too much pride, and Amanda knew it; she could go ahead and stay mad if it suited her.

Besides, where did she get off saying he was an Eddie Bauer and Banana Republic poster child because he decided to dress up just that once? Didn’t she understand that Sam’s dad would never have let Troy lay eyes on his baby girl without wearing a total cost of clothing that equaled three times Troy’s age? Oh, all right, if Samantha weren’t there he probably would have been wearing something similar to Kaine, plus his favorite hat and minus the hemp choker. Troy was a lot of things, but never very big on jewelry that doubled as a carcinogenic. And if Troy were Kaine, he probably would have used hair gel instead of wax. It was so much easier to wash out.

Hey, where was Kaine? The blonde boy had been sitting on the end of the aisle, but now he was gone. Crystal and Daniel were engaging in a form of wrestling that had Crystal’s chastity at stake.

Troy lost interest in his companions and continued to let his mind wander. Such was the luxury of ADD.

Why the hell did they pick this movie, anyway? It was so terrible that anybody other than them in the audience had left by now. Troy caught Amanda’s eye and made a motion suggesting that this movie sucked major...Troy didn’t follow through with the sign language, because Samantha chose that moment to look at him.

Troy smiled and mouthed “sorry.” Samantha gave a polite smile, but the irritated furrow of her brow marred it. Troy would’ve dubbed any other girl with that look as a bitch, but Samantha was too sweet to be a bitch, to nice, too...too sheltered. Any other girl would’ve displayed interest in him by now or blew him off, but Samantha was as unresponsive to his attentions as a rock…well, sandstone maybe. She just had never played the dating game.

Another thing that ran in the family.

Samantha bent down to recover her soda, and Amanda took the moment to complete the hand gesture that Troy had abandoned. Troy smiled and nodded. And in that simple perverted gesture, two friends had made up.

Troy’s mind wandered again.

Kaine came back and maybe Troy was imagining it, but Kaine looked slightly rattled. His fake hair seemed paler and Troy could swear he saw a purple sheen on the boy’s forehead right where that twisty looking, built-in flashlight should be. The priest in disguise murmured in Crystal’s ear. Crystal seemed alarmed, and began nudging Daniel to talk to Amanda. Troy watched Amanda’s cheery, baby-faced features harden and become intense with concentration. Crystal said something else and leaned back. Suddenly, Samantha’s drink toppled over on the floor.

“Nuts,” Samantha hissed and leaned down to mop up the mess.

Amanda leaned over and said, in an urgent, clipped tone, “We got trouble, get ready to haul ass for your car. Get Samantha home and come back here.”

Samantha sat back up, and Amanda didn’t have time to say anything more on the subject.

“Nuts,” Samantha said again, plaintively, “I’ve got soda all over my pants…I need to go to the bathroom.” Samantha got up, crossed in front of Troy, and trotted down the aisle.

“Where is she going?” Amanda said, slightly intense.

“To the bathroom,” Troy said, not really grasping the severity of the situation.

“Shit,” Amanda hissed. She and Samantha differed on expression of frustration.

“Pipe down,” Troy said warningly. They were in a theater after all.

“Oh, nobody is watching this crap,” Amanda declared loud enough for the prime minister of England to hear, “Come on, Crystal, we’ve got to make a stop at the little girls’ room.”

“Can I come?” Daniel shouted after them. They didn’t even dignify the question with a glare.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Troy said. Wouldn’t he love to see Samantha with a lack of clothing…or the firing end of Sam’s dad’s rifle?

“Prepare yourselves,” Kaine said, “There’s evil all around this place.”

“Seriously?” Troy said, not really believing him. “It’s called ticket prices.”

Just then, the shaken voice of an usher going through puberty came over the speaker system; “Would everyone please proceed to the fire exits. This is not a drill. Everyone please vacate the theater. Your tickets will be refunded at a later time. For now, please…OH MY GOD! RUN!”

The speaker went dead and all the lights came on in the theater.

Kaine, Troy, Austin, and Daniel all stood. A couple in the back of the theater was making out, oblivious to the announcement.

“That’s what we should’ve been doing,” Troy heard Austin mutter.

“With who?” Troy wanted to know. It seemed he was the only one with enough sense to bring a date.

“Oh, hell, I didn’t think it would occur this quickly,” Kaine said, running a hand over his fake hair in a nervous gesture. Where his hand passed, the yellow locks turned white. The symbol on his brow burned indigo, further destroying the effectiveness of the masquerade.

“What’s going on?” Austin asked.

“For starters, there’s a demon in the bathroom, right where your lady friend is going, I believe,” Kaine said with a look at Troy. “And I believe there may be another one outside, waiting for the crowd. I didn’t want to get others involved, but at least nobody in this place goes to Duriarb.”

“Aren’t we lucky,” Austin said. “I still don’t get what we’re doing.”

“Well, obviously you’re not here to see good cinema, so let’s go,” Kaine made his way for the fire exit, baggy pants swirling into the billowing of black and white robes.

Troy was uneasy. Something made him believe Kaine. Whenever bad things happened, Troy had to pee like nobody’s business, and right now his bladder was on fire. He was seriously contemplating going to the bathroom to get Samantha and relieve himself when a roaring noise jolted the ground underneath their feet. Dust fell from the rafters and the screen cracked down the middle. The couple in the back continued to lip wrestle.

“Ah, I was right,” Kaine said, quickening his pace and stretching out his hand. His staff melted into it like mercury. “Follow me.”