What was I thinking?
While it was true, Lilla had been training me in the ways of sword fighting, I wasn’t good. Not yet at least.
Your skill in Self-Awareness has increased!
I ignored Screenie.
A wise woman once said “a bard needs no sword” or something like that. Sounds good, but I knew I’d gotten lucky, braining Varun the orc shaman with my lute. It wasn’t a weapon, and I was shocked Roxanne didn’t shatter into a million pieces. And as we rushed through the woods toward whatever danger lay ahead, her song shifted, and the familiar Battle Hymn slowly rose.
“I love that song!” Curr roared.
He was right; the tune was invigorating.
Fine…
Your Music has invigorated your Party!
+2 Bonus to Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution for your entire Party for Duration of Battle.
Happy now?
Despite the buff, I couldn’t stop worrying.
I could take it back!
I don’t think you can. Roxanne did that.
Screenie remained silent for once.
I was concerned because I didn’t even want there to be a battle. I’d gotten used to peaceful travel. The last real fight I’d been in was three months ago. Since then, it had all been sparing or the occasional adolescent korken. And I still had nothing but the bone sword I’d stolen from one of the undead orcs back in the ruins. It was effective in that it was sharp, but as Curr had continually told me, it was like bringing a letter opener to a sword fight.
Our plan was to reach Cantripoli, Pyruun’s capital city. We’d heard rumors that the missing piece of Roxanne might be found within the hoard of riches King Shirtaloon’s grandfather—or whatever—plundered when the elves were defeated. We figured that was the best place to start looking. And while we were there, we’d buy me a new sword. After all, with the reward money I’d earned from Fa’Lem, I had a good chunk of change to my name. More than I’d ever had back on Earth, that was for sure, though I didn’t really understand the exchange rate.
But since we were now waylaid, mere hours outside of civilization, I had no choice but to put Lilla’s lessons into action with a less-than-optimal blade.
In modern warfare, bombs, grenades, and machine gun-fire would be expected. But here in Aethonia, battle was somehow louder and more quiet at the same time. Though there were no explosions, but metal clanged, goats bleated, and of course, people screamed. That, I figured, was true in any fight.
As we neared what I could tell was the end of the tree line and the beginning of the village’s boundary, the fracas got louder. And so did Roxanne. Curr was like a kid in a candy shop. Surprisingly, Lilla looked prime to go too. It was kinda hot.
Keep it in your pants, big dawg.
The townsfolk leading us stopped, some of them so rattled, their knees were literally shaking.
“It’s just there,” Bobby said, pointing. His hand quivered. “Remember, it’s not just the troll.”
“Would ye shut up with that!” one of the townsfolk shouted. “The troll be what needs doin’.”
I pushed past them as they argued. Curr and Lilla joined me, while Garvis slinked behind us. However, to his credit, had his daggers out. I don’t know why I constantly doubted him. Sure, we hadn’t met on great terms, but ever since the imprisonment at the ruins, he’d been nothing but helpful. And dare I say, nice?
No homo?
You can’t say that.
Just did.
I brushed some leaves aside, and what I saw was unlike anything I’d ever witnessed in person. I’d watched movies that took place during medieval times when houses made of wood with thatch roofs were ablaze, but something about viewing it with my own eyes was devastating.
The sound of crackling wood—not campfire wood, but peoples’ homes, shops, and whatever else—made my stomach tie up. Thick black smoke rose all around like dark omens, obscuring our view of what was actually doing the attacking. And the smell was suffocating.
“I don’t understand,” Lilla said. “Why is there so much fire? There’s no way a Fire Troll made it this far north?”
There are Fire Trolls?
You do not want to meet a Fire Troll, let me tell you.
Bobby looked ashamed. “That was actually my fault,” he said quietly. “In an attempt to weaken the troll, I may have thrown a lit torch at him. He swatted it away like a bug, and it landed on Mistress Kobe’s home. From there it—”
Presumably Mistress Kobe rushed forward, smacking Bobby hard with each sharp word. “That was you! You damned fool! I knew we should have castrated your father at birth!”
That was when the smoke parted and I saw it.
The troll was taller than a basketball goal. Maybe twelve to fifteen feet. It was hard to tell from this distance.
Eighteen feet, four inches.
Eighteen feet tall.
… and four inches.
Who cares about four inches?
Lilla probably would.
You’re such an asshole.
The troll did, indeed, wear clothing that was surprising well-tailored to its form, considering it seemed little more than a mindless beast. A chain whipped from a metal ring around its neck, swinging behind it and causing even more destruction as it barreled down the dirt street. The beast towered over the buildings and was obviously scared.
Something was chasing it.
That was a sobering thought. I was charging into this fight, assuming the most dangerous thing present was a troll, but it was frightened?
Curr, on the other hand, had no fear at all. He took off at a sprint, a war cry undulating from his belly. His axe was held high, and I could tell there was no stopping him.
But that didn’t keep me from trying. “Curr!”
He gone.
While Curr ignored me, I glanced over at Lilla talking softly with one of the children. She found my eyes, gave me a nod, and we followed Curr into battle.
Garvis sighed, but I heard the little pitter-pattering halfling boots only a step behind us.
And you call Curr condescending. Geesh.
This was it. We were gonna fight a troll.
The field that separated us was about the length of a football field—
And no, I don’t need the exact distance.
Suit yourself.
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.
The ground was grassy, and little divots and holes made traversing it a challenge. The run there took forever.
Two hundred and fifty-five yards is no simple jaunt!
You just can’t help yourself.
All I could do was watch as home after home, shop after shop, was destroyed by a rampaging troll. With almost every movement it made, the fire spread, whether from the gusts of wind following him, or thrown cinder.
And the smell was so absolutely overwhelming I couldn’t—and didn’t want to—breathe. It was one part dead-body decaying in the woods and one part rotting onion. I gagged as I ran, my eyes filling with tears.
When we entered town—which was a really generous term for the place—it became apparent, we stood no real chance.
Duh. It’s a troll.
Even Curr needed a whole Party of braugs to take one down.
No sooner had Screenie’s words come across my vision than Curr was tossed aside like discarded corn husks—of which there were plenty around, considering this was a farming village. The big braug crashed through a building, sending splinters and embers everywhere. A second later, the roof crashed down on top of him.
“Curr!” I shouted.
He’s fiiiine.
Is he?
“Fuck this,” Garvis said behind me.
I didn’t turn to see if he’d actually left, but I certainly didn’t see him leading the next charge.
“What do we do?” I asked Lilla.
In response, she pulled out her bow and nocked an arrow. Barely taking the time to aim, she let it loose before immediately stringing a second and firing it as well. The first bounced off the troll’s thick skin, causing no harm whatsoever. The second got stuck in some of its vine-strewn clothes.
“Well, that didn’t work,” Lilla said.
What do we do?
Would you like to access your Catalog of Songs?
Is that a hint?
No, it’s a fucking question.
Would you like to access your Catalog of Songs?
Fine.
I looked through the list. There were a few more since the last time I’d perused the catalog. With each new Level, I gained at least a song or two. Now, at Level 7, I had a total of sixteen songs.
CATALOG OF SONGS:
Level 1 (Unlocked):
Halfling’s Gambit (7 inst. 5 sin.)
— Magical Effects: None, unless you consider pissing Garvis off magical.
Stones, Bones, and Crones (8 inst. 7 sin.)
— Magical Effects: None
Parapets of Pyruun (14 inst. 9 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
T’was Morn in the Eve (14 inst. 14 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
Tillith’s Last Call (20 inst. 15 sin.)
— Magical Effects: +5 to Dexterity and Constitution for 10 Minute Duration.
Level 2 (Unlocked):
Hymn for Fallen Souls (23 inst. 19 sin.)
— Magical Effects: Dispel Hostile Spirits
Into the Mist (25 inst. 0 sin.)
— Magical Effects: Teleport away from Danger (>300 Feet)
Level 3 (Unlocked):
Ranger’s Lament (27 inst. 16 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
She Who Fights with Monstrosities (25 inst. 33 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
Level 4 (Unlocked):
Promise of the Son (29 inst. 0 sin.)
— Magical Effects: +3 Speechcraft with Elves for 24 hour Duration.
Aran de Yav’nal (26 inst. 31 sin.)
— Magical Effects: Reinvigorate Party
Level 5 (Unlocked):
Markings of a Fool (19 inst. 13 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
A Dance with Thorns (32 inst. 0 sin.)
— Magical Effects: Creates a whirlwind of ghostly blades (Melee Damage: 15-99 each.)
Level 6 (Unlocked):
Theater Dream (39 inst. 23 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
R’ode tu Maz’tori (41 inst. 0 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
Level 7 (Unlocked):
Ascension’s Path (55 inst. 48 sin.)
— Magical Effects: ???
I didn’t have a ton of time. Curr was busy pushing his way out of the wreckage. Screenie was right. He was fine, but he looked peeved and a little dazed. And for our part, Lilla’s arrows had drawn the troll’s attention. It doubled over and roared. The air from its lungs nearly knocked us over. Spittle that smelled as awful as its breath covered me. Then, it grabbed hold of a goods wagon and tossed it aside as easily as I’d throw a pebble. It crashed into a wall, and I thought I heard a scream. However, I couldn’t be distracted, because… troll.
As it started toward us, we got a good glimpse of what the creature had been running from. The strange part was that Bobby was right: it was just a man. Dressed in rags, and looking like an absolute lunatic, he trailed the troll, shouting for it to stop, trying with all his efforts to grab hold of the chain that had once, somehow and assumably, bound the thing to his control.
“Do you trust me?” I asked Lilla.
She looked at me, then immediately back to the troll who was slowly approaching, as if confused by our arrival. Finally, turning back to me again, she nodded. “What are you going to do?”
I pulled Roxanne off my back and brought her to my chest. I whispered, “Roxy, I want to play “She Who Fights with Monstrosities.”
Excuse me. You tell me which song you’d like to play.
You just heard me.
Say it to me.
Screenie, we don’t have time for th—
SAY IT TO ME!
Geezusssss, I want to play She Who Fights with Monstrosities!
As you wish.
It was one of my older songs—one I’d had for a few Levels—but I’d never played it. I had no idea what it would do, but I had a hunch. Since Lilla was a “she” and the troll was clearly a “monstrosity,” I thought it was a good guess it might help in our current predicament.
Look at you, being all cunning.
I pressed my fingers to the fretboard, and let go of my inhibitions. Soon, the music played through me, as if Roxanne and I were one. The Instrument Playing requirement was well below my currently skill level, but the Singing was close. Even still, a melody tickled my lips, and I let it out.
> In a realm where shadows dance and darkness creeps,
>
> A tale unfolds of a maiden who never sleeps.
>
> She walks the path where moonlight weaves its grace,
>
> A warrior bold, with a determined face.
The troll stopped, tilting its head as I sang. I didn’t get the impression anything magical had forced him to halt. Just pure curiosity, like a dog who heard a weird sound upstairs.
I continued…
> Through enchanted woods and ancient trees,
>
> She treads the path of destinies.
>
> With armor gleaming in pale moonlight,
>
> She fights the monsters that dwell in the night.
>
>
>
> She who fights with monstrosities,
>
> A fearless heart, a soul at ease.
>
> Beneath the stars, where legends rise,
>
> She battles on 'neath the endless skies.
>
>
>
> Her sword, a whisper in the midnight air,
>
> A melody of courage, a tale so rare.
>
> Against the beasts that haunt the dreams of men,
>
> She stands undaunted as she defends.
>
>
>
> In the tapestry of time, her legend unfurls,
>
> A woman now stands where there was a girl
>
> She who fights with monstrosities,
>
> A timeless hero, there stands she.
That was pretty damn good, if I said so myself.
“What’s happening?” Lilla asked, arms raised and looking down at herself.
She’s positively glowing.
Literally.
Screenie was right. A soft, golden aura surrounded her. At this, the troll roared again. It shook me where I stood, but Lilla didn’t even twitch.
“I feel… amazing!” she shouted, strapping her bow to her back and pulling out her elven heun blade. The metal shinked as it slid free.
Female members of your Party have been imbued with the Strength, Dexterity, and Courage of The Shield Goddess.
Lilla has received +25 to Strength, Dexterity, and Courage for Duration of Battle.
Additionally, all Attacks have a 80% higher chance of landing Critically.
That sounded incredibly promising.
“Go get it, Lilla!” I shouted, encouraging her.
What a gentleman!
Shut up. You know I did my part. I’d break my arm trying to cut that thing down.
Probably more than your arm.
Then stop giving me shit.
Lilla listened, pushing off the dirt with such force, she left a small hole in the road. The next thing I knew, she was soaring toward one of the buildings. An actual streak of yellow followed her as she used the flimsy wall like a springboard, kicking off and changing directions midair to come in line with the troll’s back. Her blade dug in and she hung there while the monster roared in a pained cry. But she didn’t just hang on. With her other hand, she pulled a dagger free from her belt, then used the two blades to stab over and over again, climbing her way up until she reached the troll’s shoulders.
The troll flailed wildly, trying desperately to find the pest that was biting at it.
Lilla had her heun blade free from troll flesh and ready to drive down through the thing’s skull. Curr stood below, cheering her on like he was watching a soccer match.
Then, a voice rang out. “Stop! Stop now, or I kill the halfling!”
In the moment between breaths, Lilla paused to hear what the new voice had to say, and she was thrown from the troll’s shoulder. She fell as if in slow motion, the golden stream trailing behind her.
“Lilla!” I shouted, but she disappeared behind a plume of smoke. I could only pray she landed on a rooftop, or somewhere soft. Otherwise, a fall from that height would probably kill or paralyze her.
Curr and I just stared at the troll’s supposed “owner” as he stood in the middle of the village with stupid freaking Garvis in one hand, and a knife pressed against the halfling’s throat.