“She’s smiling again! Hey look! She’s smiling again! What joy! It’s like the light has come back into my eyes!”

“Ever the drama queen?” I tell Crile. He makes a stupid face at me.

“Laira has been doing great the last few weeks.” Amana agrees. “Think it has anything to do with her training?”

“Could be.” I shrug. “I didn’t expect Mother to get involved, but I guess it's for the best.”

“I sure hope it works out.” Star says.

“Me too.”

“Me three.” I join in. “At any rate. We'll see how she's doing and maybe we can get back to our lives again.”

“Why the rush? I’m kinda enjoying it as is now.” Crile grins.

“I have my reasons.” I answer. They both give me a weird gaze.

“Of course, you do.” Crile agrees mockingly. Somehow that bothers me.

    Six months go by. Laira keeps at it with her Ravo training. So does Mother. Surprisingly.

“Well? How was it?” Star whispers to me, handing me a glass.

“You just couldn’t wait for him to leave to ask me that, could you?” I take the glass and lean back on Emerald. I silently hope this will make the question go away, but Star isn’t the kind to let up so easily. She knocks me in with her knee.

“Well?”

“Same as always.” I take a gulp. “Same as always...” I give Star a quick smile. Crile sits back down to us with snacks and says something to tick Amana off. I try to tune in on the conversation next to me, but my mind wonders off instead... “What are you! A monster!” Huh? I always thought of myself as a person. But the last five “dates” of mine have me questioning myself again. So I get a little bit excited doing it! Big deal! I pout to myself. I can’t be the only one like that! Can I? How the hell should I know!? It’s not like I can ask anyone... Or can I? The entrances will open soon...

“What would you two say if I told you I want to join the Army?”

“I'd ask why waste your time there? You have the best training available already? But...” Crile takes a moment. “Judging from the look in your eyes, I have to guess that there's more to it.”

“I want information. I want to know how people here live on a daily basis. The local Army doubles as helpers to the common folk. It would let me expand my understanding.”

“You can do that without the Army? Can’t you?” Amana asks somewhat carefully.

“I feel like "random" help wouldn’t be accepted as trusting as an official one...”

“Doubt that.” Crile announces. “You just wanna mingle with someone closer your age, as if the two of us are not enough. I’m insulted, I say!” He gets all dramatic. I roll my eyes at him. Not that he's wrong...

“I only have one question.” Star raises her hand. “Can I join too, seeing how I'm...”

“If you join with her.” Crile beats me to it. “Otherwise, I'm not sure...”

“Wouldn’t that beat the entire purpose?” Star asks again.

“What purpose?”

“I assumed you were gonna hide your identity...” She says dying down. Star's not wrong either. I would prefer it that way, but now that Crile said that...

“Well, no problem. I'll be fine. I can always find work in the city in the meantime.”

“No, you can't. The borders have been loosened, but not the city grounds. It's a Noxian only place still. If it weren't for your family's connection to the Royal Family even they wouldn't be allowed to work here.”

“How...”

“Who do you think I live with?” Crile keeps his gaze steady.

“I didn’t know that. Is it true?” I turn to Star. She turns away in return. There's still so much I don't know... “I see. Fine. I'll join as me then. Can't say it'll be any easier on you though...”

“It never is.” Crile agrees. Somehow that bothers me.

“Wait. You're joining too?”

“Am I not allowed to?”

“Um...”

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“To be completely clear - neither one of you needs to join. I’m going in for personal reasons.”

“So are we.” Crile's faster. “That reason being You. I'd say that counts as "personal.”

“As you wish.” I don’t bother. As much as those two love to argue between themselves, they can be quite the challenge to argue against when united.

“Since that's solved. Now all I have to do is convince Mother...”

“Ouch. That'll be difficult.”

“Why do you say that?” Star looks at Crile.

“The Queen has a habit of going easy on the Heir.” I hate it how he says the last word. But again. He's not wrong.

“Think the Army will be serious with you if they know who you are?” She turns to me again.

“Honestly, no. That’s why I wanted to go under cover. But I don’t feel right leaving you alone either. I made a promise, didn’t I?”

“You don’t have to worry about something that we said as kids.” Amana brushes me off.

“That so?” I look to my feet.

“I...”

“Time out. What promise?” Crile cuts in.

“To always protect me...” Star lets it slip.

“Well. There is always an option that I take over that promise and she goes in alone. But the thought of others gobbling her up pisses me off!!”

“Careful, you’re letting your true colors show there, boy.” I mock Crile. He winks at me.

Star shakes her head. “It’s fine. If they’ll allow it – I'll join too.”

“Then it’s settled.” Crile seals it.

“Thanks you too.”

“Don’t mention it.” Crile shrugs his shoulders. “One thing, though. What about Emerald?”

“That’s right, you can’t take her with you, can you?”

“She’ll stay behind. We already went through it.” Emerald whips her tail and I scratch her a little again.

“Good to know then.” Star seems relieved and worried at the same time. Whereas Crile is already getting into fights with imaginary rivals... Not that there are going to be any at this rate... I’m nothing, but a Monster to them, after all...

“Do you think I'm being too selfish?” I reach for Emerald.

“Does it matter what I think?” She growls back at me.

“I wouldn’t be asking if it didn’t. Now answer, dummy.” I pout.

“They chose to go with you. I see no selfishness in that.” Suddenly I hear bits and pieces how Star and Crile argue about who I belong to more between them. How did that happen? Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped the chat?

“But do you think they force themselves to? Like they think they don't have an option to refuse?”

“What makes you think that, Child?”

“Because I am me?”

“I never once saw them restrain themselves when talking to you. If you ask me, they seem to forget their place more than not.”

“They don't have a place. They are my friends. I expect them not to hold back on me. Least they are real with me...”

“If you say so...”

    I have been restless ever since Zarri made the decision to join the Army. I wanna go with her, but at the same time I don't want to cause her trouble... I'm a target, after all... Here I thought that my days of sitting alone in the dark are behind me... But the thought of having everyone’s gaze on me again gives me the chills. BUT! I want to be there for her! I can't allow all of my hard work to be wasted! I'll find a way to deal with it! For her sake.

    It's only been a few months since we joined in with the new recruits. It has been fairly easy, except for Amana. The looks we get ain’t exactly easy on her. She keeps telling us she's fine, but I don’t like it that she feels the need to lie to me... Crile has been extra on edge lately too. I can’t make it out if it’s cause of Star or me. Perhaps both? Ever since Laira broke down he seemed different to me. More protective, maybe? I figured it was related to Laira only, but... At any rate. My “grand master plan” to mingle in with the people my age is failing miserably. The women hate me and the men fear me... What do I need to do to be human here?

    Star and Crile are in one of their usual arguments about nothing.

“Oh yeah! I keep getting distracted so I keep forgetting.” Crile suddenly realizes something. Star and I share a room so it makes it easy for Crile to join us at night. He comes and goes through the shadows. As long as we don’t get caught...

“You changed your hair. You stopped hiding your horns. Why?” So that's what's been bugging me! “It's only been like a day now, right?” Damn you, Crile...

“Huh? What does that have to do with anything?” Star fiddles with a strand.

“Just wanna know what happened. You were so gung-ho on hiding them all this time, that you kept your hair short, so they'd hide them as much as possible. Especially ever since I made one comment about how bulky that one hair style looked on you...”

“Oh that. I remember that. Star was pissed.” She looked like she had bundles of rope attached to her head...

“Damn right I was!” She says in her Cornutese roughness. I like it when she slips up.

“For real though, Ammi. What happened? And sorry I didn’t realize it. “I tell her.

“I... He did.” Star points to Crile.

“What did you do?” I growl.

“Nothing! I swear! Least that I can remember...”

“You told me to be proud of who I am once before...” Star mumbles in a tiny voice.

“When did I do that?"

“Years ago...” She whispers...

“Ooooh. So? You didn’t do anything then. Why now?” Crile answers. I’m curious to know too...

Star shrugs her shoulders. We both sigh.

“In any case. I think the braid suits you. Brings out the warrior side of you.” Crile grins, as he slowly gestures to the middle of his head with a claw and gets a direct hit with a flying pillow straight in the nose.

“See what I mean.” He says, rubbing it.

“Dumbass.” Star hisses.