We were on the road again. Well. A Water-Road, that is. I had mixed feelings about our little victory at Snake Port. If I can even call it that. Even if I know that everyone traveling with me are able fighters. Even Starlight. Which is quite the surprise for me, these days. Especially since she asked Crile, of all people, to spar with her. I was disappointed she didn’t ask me, but maybe she feels safer, knowing Crile can’t sprout claws at a moment’s notice...

Which, naturally, left me and Emerald to team up on the side. The crew has been getting a good spectacle out of it too. Whatever helps lighten the mood, I guess. But.

I can’t help but feel responsible for always, always being the one to put all of them in danger. I left Astri because I thought that if I’d go somewhere where people didn’t know me – we’d be safe and free. And yet. I didn’t think this through, did I? Am I too greedy? Should I have left Emerald behind? But. She’s been confined there just like I was, for as long as I have... Father never fulfilled his dream of traveling, so I... I at least want Emerald to see something more too... And all she’s been getting is to stare at a wooden box for months...

The world is so wide and vast. Just like the boundless sea... There's simply too many possibilities. I wonder if it is even possible to see it all in one lifetime? Should I have left home years ago by myself? If I have, would I have managed to go anywhere far alone?

“I’m an idiot.” I let out a sigh.

“Ok, I’ll bite. Why this time?” A voice gently teases me. I smile and turn around. Crile.

“Think Emerald hates me?”

“Where’s this coming from?” He sets the crates down and walks over to me, clearly concerned. “Is this because of our mode of transportation?”

I look away and he guides my gaze back to him with his soft touch of the knuckle, by the chin.

“If she did – I'm pretty sure she’d have eaten you by now.”

“Ha, ha.” I roll my eyes.

“Oh come, are you ever going to stop pouting? Look, if you regret it that much, we can go back. It’ll be a pain, since we’re halfway there, but. Ah. Right. I forget. If we go back, you’ll end up a prisoner, again.” He says with a warm smile of the eyes.

“Listen. Can't say I speak for all of us, but this – what we’ve been through and whatever else we’ll go through - is worth it. All of it.”

“Crile, please, how can you say that.”

“Because I love you.” He leans in. “So does Emerald. So does Amana.” He looks at me, intense. “We all love you. That’s why seeing you happy is worth it. That’s why the least you can do for us in return is quit your sulking and smile. You may not realize it, so I’ll do you a favor and tell you, but your doom and gloom is an insult to all three of us. Especially Starlight. She’s clearly blaming herself for her lack of survival skills, so she’s desperate to do anything she can to not be a burden and seeing you all mopey like that is just adding salt on her wounds. Knock it off. Please, my love.” He finishes that sigh with a soft kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and ask for more. Never have I wished to be alone with him as I do right now.

“Ugh! Get a room!” A snarl and a thud. We break off, smiling.

“Need a hand?” Crile offers.

“I’m good.” Star says. “You look different. Something happen?”

I shake my head with a smile. “Nope.” I look at her again. Only now I notice what Crile meant. She’s beat. Her hands are full with cuts and scrapes, she’s lost some weight, her face has lost half of its color... I’m a terrible friend. I smile as best I can and go over to hug Star.

“We should probably, oh, well, hello, what’s this all about?” She studders a bit.

“Just felt like it.” I tighten lightly and feel her answer me.

“Can I join in too?” A careful question.

“No!” Starlight barks back, as expected. I giggle lightly. “No. No. Don’t you give me that look.”

A whine and a woof follow. I smile.

“Oh how I hate it when he does that. Oh, alright, fine.” Star pushes off me and extends a hand. “Come here.”

“Yay!” Crile jumps us both, grabs us and leans back, just enough to get our feet off the floor.

“Knock it off!” Star struggles and Crile chuckles. He puts us back.

“Having fun?”

“Emerald!” I let them go and return above deck. “There you are.” I find her enjoying the sunlight by the entrance. I hug her too. “Thank you.”

“What’s this?”

“Just wanted to let you know much I appreciate you tagging along with my selfish requests.”

“Of course, Child. It’s what I am here for.”

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“No. Not just that. I meant it as a friend too. Thank you.” I snuggle her a moment longer.

“As you wish, Child.” I feel her curl up towards me just a little. That’s enough for me.

    I’ve asked Crile to spar with me. Against my own better judgment. I loathe the idea of his touch. But. My pride as a hunter has been struck. It’s been weeks since our encounter with the Pathetians. Yet the foul taste in my mouth from my own lack of effectiveness – remains. As a Cornutese, I cannot possibly forget the utter humiliation of my capture. I never considered myself much of a hunter, except for that one time and now. But clearly something inside my blood has been struck. Never, do I wish to be the prey again.

That is why I shall take whatever I can from that overgrown, self-satisfied brute and use it to my advantage. I am ashamed to admit that with my vast knowledge, intelligence and abilities, I am useless in a fight. Until someone gets hurt. And that someone, usually is Zarri.

“Eyes on me!” A kick. Damn it. I lost focus for a moment.

“You’re holding back on me.” I slur a bit, checking my ribs.

“Well, duh. I’m not gonna be responsible for breaking you. Breeze will break my neck.”

“Useless.” I straighten out.

“Huh?” Crile heard me loud and clear. “Listen, Star-dear, I admire your newly found dedication to the Martial Arts, but.”

“But, BULL nothing. How am I supposed to learn anything with you like this! What good it will do me in the next fight! You’re feeding false input! I’ll end up thinking that fighting is easy and end up dead because you’re too soft!”

“Oh, I can show you how hard I can be.”

“SAVE IT!” I literally put my foot down. “If you won’t teach me properly, then you are of no use to me.” I turn around and manage to take a single step when something freezes me in place and tightens around my neck with a sharp and cold sensation ending it all right at my beating pulse, under the jaw. I hold my breath.

“Don’t. Ever. Talk to me like that again.” Crile speaks cold and sharp. The words cut in deep. “Allow me to remind you, Star-dear, that Breeze and I have decades of training. Whereas you’ve only mastered the bare minimum as Healers are required to. And that only happened because you joined the Army with us back in Astri.” He whispers it calm and steady. Somehow that scares me like never before. I’m afraid so much as blink. Let alone exhale.

“I can kill you in your sleep in more ways than you can heal. I’m holding back because you are too weak to handle a frontal attack. Your body lacks the basic body mass, strength and stamina to withstand a fight to begin with. I hit you head on and you’ll be coughing blood to Kingdom come.” He loosens the headlock, but keeps the knife in place still.

“You wanna learn how to fight? Fine. I won’t stop you. But. If I may suggest – you need to build up your muscles before you can even suggest you can take a real hit and remain standing after. The only reason why I’m not telling you to drop and give me 200 is because I know you can’t do it. I’m teaching you the basic combat on the gentle level, because that way your body will learn to react to certain movements from your enemies. Which may, or may not, buy you time to actually fight back or run.” He lets me go and I take a step to the side.

“There’s not a lot you can do while being stuck here.” He sheathes his blade. “I would suggest running laps around the deck, climbing the sail nets, push-ups, sit-ups, squats for you to start with, maybe some jumping over the crates too, or something, but seeing how we are guests here – I didn’t want to disrespect our hosts. Not to mention the fact that you are severely malnourished. Don’t even try to hide it. Breeze and I have different tolerances for lack of food. When you grow up getting your face used for a punching bag – you learn to eat less, whether you like it or not, which is not something I can say about you.”

“That said – don't ever undermine me again. This ain’t your area of expertise. Have the mind to respect that much.” Crile throws me one last glare and walks away. He’s right. On all accounts. My inherent stubbornness has taken the better of me, again. I didn’t think he’d be paying that much attention to me still... Damned brute. I unclench my hands. I thought it would be a good way to went my frustration with Crile too, but once again he proves me wrong. Why are we so different? Why is that he gets her more than I? Why does he get me more than I, myself?

    “Something’s not right here.”

“Which part?”

“That.” I point up. Crile puts his hand to his eyes and squints.

“What in the? Is that...? What IS SHE DOING! STAAAAAAAR!!! GET DOWN HEEEEERREEEEE!!!!!!”

“Sorry, lad, the lady insisted to be left alone.” A cabin boy tells him the same, he told me three minutes ago.

“But. Ah, damn it. It’s my fault.” Crile covers his face and his head sinks.

“Explain.”

“I told her she need to train her body, before I can properly teach her and...” He points up.

“She falls – I'll kill you.” I tell my love flat.

“Don’t worry. If she falls – I'll jump overboard myself.”

“I don’t know what is her deal, but tell the stupid girl to get down before she’s fish bait. The wind’s picking up.” The Primerian captain walks by us. “Even if I can admire her guts – that does not mean I want her dead on my head. Remember – you four–”

“Are not even here. I’ll get her.” I answer and spread my wings. Woah. He wasn’t kidding. A current whips me as I climb up. Anything stronger than this would flatten Amana. I catch up with her and shift back.

“The Cap, says you need to get down now, Starlight. The wind’s too strong to continue.”

“Just a bit more. I’m almost...” She reaches a few more ropes and slips. I grab her arm.

“It’s enough for today. You can’t do better tomorrow if you’re dead.” I smile.

“I was so close.” She pouts. I notice she has a rope around her waist. That’s why she slipped. The rope ended. Starlight wraps herself around my neck.

“Next time – I'll be your rope. You’ll do better once nothing’s tugging at you.” I tell her and shift again. I take us both back down, to where Crile is prepared to take his capital punishment. I roll my eyes. Ever the dramatic flare.

    We spent our days taking turns to train Starlight. I instruct her on her posture and adjust her, if need be, as well as act as her lifeline, while Crile acts as a punching bag. As much as she tries – she still hates his touch outside of combat. If you can call it that. I understand that my coddling of Ammi all this time caused her to rely on me more, but that’s why I liked it. I was needed. If she learns to fight – she might not... Star falls flat on her ass once more. She struggles with the throw overs.

“Worried?”

“Just a little.” I answer Emerald.

“For her, or for you?” She asks, ever on point, as always.

“Both.” I watch the usual bickering of my two best friends. Where would I be without them?