Everything was dark. It’s like I was standing in a place where light didn’t exist. A darkness that never ended. That’s what I thought, anyway.

In front of me, the figure of a girl became clear. Her body had a slightly glow to it, which made the features visible. Long snow-white hair and blue eyes. Very familiar.

Oddly familiar.

That was when it sank in. This girl, she looked exactly like me, down to the smallest details. Except, there one difference, she had no expression. Her eyes were cold, looking straight at me.

What in the world was going on?

“Who...are you?” I asked, “...And where am I?”

As the girl answered, her voice sent shivers down my spine. Her voice was the same as mine. She was like a clone of me.

“We’re in your mind. Right now, I’m in control of your body on the outside.” she paused, looked up in thought, “Hm. And as for who I am, that’s a good question. I’m you. Or rather, the version of you that you’ve long forgotten. The version that has no restraints.”

What in the world was this supposed to mean? I’m a little dumb, so I didn’t quite understand.

“Huh??” I gasped in confusion.

The other me close her eyes and sighed.

“It’s natural you wouldn’t understand. Simplified, I’m your other persona. I am not held back by ideals, beliefs or emotions. I think with logic and nothing but that. That is who I am. I am Maya.”

I crossed my arms, thinking about everything that happened before before blacking out. The last thing that came to mind was my encounter with the demon. He had his arm charged back, ready to deal the killing blow to me. After that was when my vision faded.

What happened after that?

“So... did I survive?”

“Hmmm. Maybe. I’ll let you see for yourself.” said Maya, “Here. You may have control over your body again.”

____________

It was like a blinked, then I came back to the outside world. My hair was drenched from the rain, and so were my clothes.

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I guess I did survive.

I felt myself freeze up at the sight in front of me. Blood was spilled everywhere.

“...Did I do this?”

The demon was a corpse at this point. His own horn had been stabbed through his face. And the cultists, their lifeless bodies were scattered across the mud. All of them had visible slits to their throats.

Did I really do something like this?

They were going to kill me, so I had no other option, right? This is totally justified.... But...Why do I feel uneasy? I killed monster’s before, but this was the first time I’ve taken human lives. Something about it, it felt strange. My brain was in denial.

There’s no way.....This wasn’t me.

The state I left their corpses in was brutal... Still, I couldn’t deny the fact I was happy to be alive. My hand was still clenched around a blood-stained dagger. I assume this was the one I ended their lives with.

Not going to lie, I was a little sacred of myself.

To have left killed off every single one of them, I had to be a monster myself.

No. This wasn't me. It was her.

Right. She was the one in control of my body. Maya was the real monster.

As I was thinking all of this, I could hear her voice reply to me.

“The only thing I did was assure our safety. It was kill or be killed. You and me are one in the same, yet, we’re so different. Would you have rather died?”

“well...no”

“See? Then there is no issue.”

It’s true. This was a far better outcome than death. Plus, those cultists were trying to kill me anyway. What did I feel bad for?

I guess I was just in shock from it all. Blood reminds me of the fact that a life has been taken. Maybe it just brough back those memories from the tunnel system. Though I didn’t know Ham or Sally all that well, it was still the first time I’ve seen death. I still wished I could’ve done more.

Maya’s voice came to cheer me up.

“Amaya. You’re a sensitive girl. I see that much. But that’s okay, you’re still getting used to this world.”

I don’t know why, but I dropped down to sit against a tree. Holding my knees, tears started to fall from my eyes.

Why am I crying?

“....”

“For a girl you, to suddenly come to a cruel world. This much is natural. You were just normal girl who never seen death before, it’s normal to have such emotions.”

I played it off the best I could, but deep down, seeing death actual left me a little traumatized. I didn’t mention it out of fear it would make me seem soft.

Maya continued.

“We may be different. But I do understand you. You’re just a little conflicted. I promise you. You’ll get used to it all.”

But if I got used to thing like this, wouldn’t that make me a bad person?

Upon hearing my thoughts, she answered me.

“It doesn't. It just makes you battle-hardened. Consider it a sign of growing stronger.”

“...”

“Don’t worry. I will teach you how to be more like me. That way, you’ll never feel emotions like these. Emotions like this are what will hold you back from being great.”

I was aware that this would mean throwing away a part of my humanity. Not sure if it was out of desperation to get rid of these feelings, but I smiled through my tears and replied.

“Yes. Show me...show me how to be stronger...”