I mean, I don't mind being able to remember I ate a nice thick, juicy, burger. Mm, a burger. Ah, sorry, was I off track? Maybe. Anyways, I don't mind being able to remember stuff, but my past life that ended mere minutes ago, is not what I consider stuff. I just kinda wanna tried the whole reincarnation thing the normal way, but I suppose there is no normal for that kind of topic.

Problem two: I can't feel my new body. At all. Well, I can feel it, but only through a vague sense. I think my body is… kinda liquid-y? I think? Hmm. Let's try moving I guess. I try to reach an arm(?) for ward, but after a few inches (Yes, the author is a filthy capitalist pig who uses inches and feet, Wait, wait! NOOO! [Banished to Gulag.]) it lost strength and fell to the floor.

* Plop *

My, my, was that me? * Blushes furiously * Hahaha, let's do something else, OOH, shiny!

And indeed shiny it was, a notification from an unknown entity, let's just say it's the system, yeah, that works.

~ Status updated ~

~ Tutorial available ~

Tutorial? Okay, let's see. With a thought from me, the message popped up.

~ Tutorial ~

You have been reborn as a monster. You will receive system notifications about your status when changes occur or you can will the status screen open. Various attr-.

~ Tutorial closed ~

SCREEEEEEEEEW THAT! NO, NO TUTORIALS! I GOT THIS! FUCK OFF! Dear lord I hate long tutorials! I got this. Status.

~ Status ~

Name:

Level: 1

Race: Base slime

Titles:

Skills: ,

Perks: , , ,

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

~ Attributes ~ ~ Statistics ~

I dare say that I am not scatter-brained or temperamental. Okay, okay, I'm a little easy to anger, geez. I don't lose interest fast enough to be called scatter-brained… what was I talking about? Just joshing ya! But how am I a 'magical creature'? If I can dig deeper into my status to see this screen, then maybe I can check out what's on the screen? I think, Perk: .

~ Perks ~

: One has this perk if they are a monster made out of residual or concentrated mana.

Effects: Can utilize mana and magic more efficiently and quickly.

Okay then, what about my titles?

~ Titles ~

: One who was publicly shamed.

Effects: Willpower increased by 10 points. Gives skill.

Oh that is so bullshit. When was I publicly shamed!? Wait, oh… (He got a title out of his death, he should consider himself lucky! [How you get out of Gulag!? Go back filthy traitor! Learn to work for spread of glorious soviet communism like common man!] I'll be baaaaaaaaack!!!) I guess when I died huh. I guess I'll check out my attributes and stats.

~ Attributes ~

Strength: 1

Agility: 1

Endurance: 1

Fortitude: 15

Intelligence: 5 (it's actually a nega-… I gotta… go…)

Willpower: 11

Luck: 1

~ Statistics ~

Health: 5/5

Mana: 10/10

Stamina: 5/5

Uhh, okay. I guess my stats and attributes are low? I guess? I don't really have a reference. Lemme check out my race too I guess.

~ Race/Evolution ~

Current race: Base slime : A small slime of no element that moves by wiggling it's body. It has no organs, except if you count the core that holds the slime's goo together and provides it's senses. One of the most hunted monsters on the world of Ayerll. It is highly resistant to physical attacks.

Evolution options: Not high enough level.

So… I'm… a small fry. Well FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. I hope is at least worth it. Might as well check out too.

~ Skills ~

: Blend in with your surroundings while stationary for mana. Decreases mana cost, cast time, and how much you blend in per level. Level 1 cost: 5 mana cast cost, 1 mana/sec. for upkeep after 5 seconds.

: Shift shape for a small cost in stamina or mana. If your race has the ability to, there is no cost. Increases the degree to which you can shape-shift per level.

Good info, but I probably wanna try using my slimey sense [It is tingling comrade!].

* Giggles like a little girl *

Haa, that was fun, anyway, let's see what I can see.

^^^ [Non-snarky narrator POV]

A slime's core is not actually an organ, it is closer to a magic stone, that works as the slimes brain, and several other organs including a MPRG. A MPRG is a Magic Pulse Radar Gland. Most people call it a MRRG instead of a MPRG, simply because if they had one, the influx of information that they had not been able to detect before would cause them to make the sound * MRRG * in pain. It sends out a pulse of mana in all directions like a radar, and every thing can be felt within the range of the MPRG's range.

Prepare for pain

^^^

MRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT-BALLS!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

(This scene of inane and quite obscene profanity has been cut for the reader's bette- OH, COME ON!)[BACK TO GULAG! NOW!]