Chapter Twelve

“That’s fantastic. Are you nervous?” Fauve asked when she crunched down on a piece of bacon.

“A little.” I admitted.

“How are you getting there?” She asked, and I scratched the back of my head.

“Oh, right. Uh, how do I get there?” I looked to William for advice. He swallowed the coffee in his mouth, smacked his lips and informed me…

“I bought you a hoverbus pass last night after you went to bed, and sent the address to your datapad along with the route map. Just take the bus routes on the list at the times specified, you’ll be fine.” He said and reached for a steaming golden biscuit and a little clear container of honey. “Oh and don’t bother with the thanks, it’s all covered under your program, it’s not costing me a thing. Plus,” he grinned a little bit, “we got our reimbursement for all the legal costs involved in the recent fiasco. Lawyers fees, service fees, court costs, and ‘his’ lawyers gave us a direct deposit of their own. A little up front for a hover bus is no big deal.”

I think it is worth noting that while hover technology was widespread among humans, because of their propensity for distraction and intoxication, actual driving with their control over the vehicles was rare, and no privately owned vehicles were equipped with hovertech.

Instead only their mass transport vehicles had it, and they operated under strict rules with predesignated routes and remotely managed guidance that could be shut down manually or from their headquarters. The reasoning behind this was simple. Many humans are unfortunately stupid and lazy, like most species, and if a privately owned vehicle with hovertech installed were to fail in flight because the owner replaced prevention with wishful thinking, accidents would be disastrous. By the same token, an intoxicated human would do a lot more damage crashing their hovertech vehicles into buildings without any pathing or lane controls.

Mass transport however, could be easily controlled, and by keeping the skies almost completely clear, hoverbuses could move people great distances very quickly with easy layovers wherever they were needed. It was so efficient that traffic began to disappear as more people took these much faster, safer options.

William though, went on.

“I sent the location to your datapad last night, by the way,” William added, “And I made sure to let them know you’re coming, so there will be someone to greet you at the entrance.” He paused and stabbed his fork into a sausage, took a bite and savored it for a few seconds before he swallowed. “Just one more thing,” he said and raised his fork in my direction, “you might have some dirty work ahead, so you may have to take more showers, the last thing anybody wants is a smelly employee.”

I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, but I suppose I should elaborate more on this point.

For most species, self care routines are either intensive where they need to care for very little but focus heavily on it, or extensive where they have to take care of their whole bodies, but need to do very little to any one place. Humans however are unique in that they are both. The human male and female will both groom the hair on their head, most males will shave their faces or they will trim to keep a particular appearance they deem attractive to either attract a mate or maintain the attraction of the mate they have. Meanwhile most females will strive to keep their longer hair on their head clean and shiny with extensive chemical modification. Similarly, they will often remove hair that grows elsewhere, for example, the legs and where their arms and torsos meet.

This hair removal is not universal, numbers of human cultures outside of my host family ignore it completely, but in the area I lived, it was very common for a human female to place strips of burning hot wax over her flesh, lay a small strip of paper overtop of it, and when the melted wax dries, rip the paper free to rip all the hairs out by their roots.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

The human tolerance for pain is a wonder to behold, and that they endure it merely for vanity is no less remarkable. They also bathe themselves in water, slathering themselves with thick bars of strong smelling substances called soap which kill bacterial growth which takes place all over their bodies.

Apparently humans are hosts to some of the largest bacterial colonies existing both parasitically and symbiotically with their hosts, anywhere in the known galaxy. Killing harmful bacterial growth on their bodies is a daily requirement, and the failure to do so leads them to quickly develop a foul and disgusting odor. The failed human we dealt with previously, was one such human.

If I could have puckered my lips, I would have, the memory of his foul tasting meat was still thick on my tongue at the mere mention of it. While there are many species in the galaxy that will consume their enemies, I think it is highly likely that any attempt to do so when it comes to humans will inevitably lead to accusations of biological warfare.

Even in death, a human is a dangerous thing.

Regardless, focusing on the moment, I noticed that Fauve was watching me more closely than before. I watched the way her eyes searched over my face, her brow slightly furrowed as if she was studying a new specimen and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

I hadn’t ever tried to deceive anyone, not really. It isn’t that dlamisa can’t lie, it’s just that we’re just not as good at it as the more social species, but I did have my alien face going for me so I doubted she caught on that I was hiding something.

Besides, is it really a lie if you just ‘don’t’ say anything? Or so I thought at the time.

Several seconds passed where that intense look went on without wavering before she finally perked up and said, “Don’t worry, you’ll do great.” She flashed an encouraging smile at me and then closed her eyes in imitation of the way her favorite ‘anime waifus’ often closed theirs.

The artistic styles of humans are far too many and varied for me to elaborate upon in a single book, but in brief I will touch upon one which had considerable success in spreading around the world. While it is popularly considered to be from the region known as ‘Japan’, in fact it originates in early twentieth century America. This style centered around very large eyes and faces, which were easier to animate and create impactful expressions. Features that enhanced expression were exaggerated, while those that could not were largely minimized or even concealed. As this was the earliest place where animation was spread to the wider world, it influenced other nations considerably.

Over time the point of origin shifted stylistically, but the region of Japan kept it, modified it to their liking, and eventually spread the style all over again, giving it renewed popularity in the late twentieth and twenty-first century industrial world. It endures in its modern form today, with several classics having multiple reboots and expanded universes. Fauve, as it turns out, was one such fan and occasionally imitated some of her favorite characters.

I doubt she realized I knew what that ‘innocent and encouraging blind smile’ expression was used for. I had studied their favorite media, from the classic animated versions of ‘Evolution of a Nobody’ to the largest fantasy universe by a single author in the last few centuries, ‘Who Endures’ along with a number of their comedies. That ‘blind smile’ was used in storytelling when a character was encouraging someone… who was lying.

I cursed my bad acting. She knew something was off with me, and she was playing the innocent. As much as I hated to admit it, I would have to tell her sooner rather than later. Not even one minute before, I was so sure, and now I wasn’t. I’d have to explain, and I’d have to do it soon.

But not yet. My hearts quailed at the very thought. ‘Coward.’ I judged myself internally before I distracted my head from the accusation by looking down at my datapad and pulling up both the bus pass and the route. “I’d better get going, it’s going to be a very busy day for me, so… you all have a good one.”

“I’d best be going too then.” Boatswain said and rose to his feet. Before I could ask he said, “Until everyone responsible for threatening you is dead, imprisoned, or broken, you’re getting a security escort to any uninspected area. Embassy orders.”

I tried not to show my lack of enthusiasm, and instead nodded. “Just don’t interfere too much.” I asked, and like a true dlamisa, he didn’t even bother to answer me, though he did say a few farewell words while I headed for the door. The truth is, I barely paid attention to him, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on what lay ahead.