Chapter Thirty-Eight

I and the other students, Fauve, the security guards, we were ejected from the meeting for a time after that, only professor Sxlith remained, and he had only one question for me when he came out. Voices were being raised after his briefing to the Captain about how to behave on Earth.

He asked me, with many a nervous licking of his eyeballs as he emerged, “Are you sure you can succeed with your test if you use this crew? Captain Bonny has told us some of the sorts of things she’s been up to over the years and…by your race’s standards, she might be literally insane.”

“I don’t really have a choice, Professor. They’re here. If I refuse, the University will say I’m tainting my experiment, they’ll override you, saying I’m trying to insert bias. I think it will work better than the others, but even if it doesn’t?” I just looked at him after I answered, letting him put the pieces together for himself.

He made a tentative bow. “I’m sorry, you’re right. Get the supplies you need as quickly as you can.”

“It will be fine.” Byron reassured us, “If they’re at all like her, my people will get along well with her and hers. Soldiers are outliers in their societies, like I get on with Boatswain here,” Byron jerked a thumb toward his companion, “I don’t know much about science, but if you want to know how well our species can work together-”

“You couldn’t ask for a better group to test it on.” Boatswain remarked, completing Byron’s sentence for him.

Fauve was watching quietly and typing away on her mobile device, I assume on her Chaos app to tell her friends what it was like, humans have a thorough love of their electronic devices, and she was no exception to this rule.

I? I had my mind elsewhere, Professor Sxlith did not use the term ‘insane’ lightly. If he thought the crew was insane by my species standards? Well then they probably were. I couldn’t help but be anxious despite Boatswain and Byron’s reassurances. What if what made them outliers was that they would not get on with humans?

What if they didn’t want to participate? I might be able to make it up with the other crew but… it wouldn’t look good? ‘What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!’

I had no idea, I could only really expect to go forward, but even doing that required decisions and even when there was no choice but one, it might still be the wrong one. Had I entered into a no win scenario?

I just didn’t want to leave.

‘Is that so wrong? Is that so bad?’ I asked myself, my tail was stiff and though I kept the worst of my anxiety at bay, I could help but fear the worst.

‘You’re such a stupid coward…’ I admit, I cursed myself for a fool and a coward all over again. I just didn’t have the courage to admit I might be failing here.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I barely noticed anything else around me until Bonny Red emerged looking and smelling smug with her tail wagging around behind her, minus her sword, which sat in the hands of the human ambassador.

“Alright, matey, you, the Bailey one, can you be ready by tomorrow?” Bonny asked and leveled her hand at me.

“To help with the alcohol?” I asked.

“Course, I hear tell about that game, sounds mite intrest’n, but maybe la-t-er?” She slowed and then stopped her talking. Her dubious enthusiasm dulled into a trance like state. Fauve must have drawn the ball out of her pocket at some point and had started bouncing it against the wall out of sheer boredom, and now its little ‘thock’ noise and constant motion drew Bonny’s attention.

Her head moved back and forth back and forth back and forth as the ball blurred past, back and forth into Fauve’s hands.

Fauve noticed after a few throws and caught the ball in one hand, she held it up. “Do you want it?”

Bonny said only, “I don’t know why, but I do, I really, really do.”

“Then you have to help Bailey when he says.” Fauve replied.

Bonny turned her face toward me, but one eye lingered on the ball as Fauve tossed it up and down in one hand, her head bobbing up and down while she asked me, “So about the game tomorrow? Are ye ready?”

“I can have all the supplies I need today, but-” I looked over toward Byron.

“I can get a dozen men easy, big ones. It’s a weekend and most of them have nothing to do. Besides, they had fun last time, they won’t pass the chance up to do it again.” Byron’s answer was a significant relief, but I knew better than to hope for the best.

We made our excuses after that, I had just enough time to find out that Bonny would have a link from her ship to the embassy comm system, and then we left.

Fauve however, kept tossing the ball straight up and down in the air, I’m sure that if she’d thrown it straight ahead, Bonny would have chased it down.

But I had no time to consider that, I needed a backup plan, so before we even boarded the bus… admittedly I might have been rude in not bidding my professor or the other students farewell, but I had my mind elsewhere. So before I even boarded the bus, I was reaching out to the University of Louisville, specifically to Lisa and Coach Wills. As tomorrow was a Saturday rather than a Sunday, there was no game going on, but I needed to make sure everything was in place.

My hearts raced and I felt Fauve’s hand squeezing around mine, she could feel I was nervous, anxious, and frankly terrified of failure, more so than I ever had been in all my life.

I’d need every ounce of mental strength to hold myself together, my tail alternated between wagging like mad with the promise of success, and stiff to the point of shaking with the fear of failure.

“So, what if it doesn’t go well?” Fauve asked on the ride home.

“Then I report it.” I said. There was no other option for me, so the answer seemed obvious.

“Even if it costs you your stay?” She asked.

I was quiet for a long time, at least five minutes, but it felt like a lot longer.

“Yes.” I finally answered. “I’m a dlamisa of science, I have to report the facts, not my wishes. Of course, failure in science can be success. All studies begin with the idea that you’re wrong, that’s why you attack your ideas, not just defend them. Even if the study doesn’t show what I hope it will, knowing one way that we as different species don’t effectively bond is bringing us closer to the truth of how we can.”

She inhaled sharply through her nose and squeezed my hand again, she felt so warm to the touch, even through my fur.

“You’re a lot braver than you think you are, Bailey.” She said quietly, she offered no explanation, and I had no idea what she meant.