I quickly tore off my gear and dropped it on the floor of my workshop, then tossed my ruined vest into the trash after clearing my pockets. With all of that out of the way, it was time to begin my experiments on my new favorite thing in the world. The very first aspect I wanted to figure out was just how big of an object could I fit in the things.

First experiment, I tried one of my rifles. To my infinite disappointment, that didn’t work.

Second up, I tried out my S&W 629 Stealth Hunter, my absolute favorite .44 Magnum. Fate decried it wasn’t to be. It didn’t work.

Third try, my S&W Shield Plus, Old Reliable. Two of the gems lit up, and the gun disappeared.

I had to contain my excitement, because this test needed a part two. You see, the gun had been unloaded.

I grabbed one of my fifteen round magazines, which I didn’t normally carry in the gun because of the awkward size, loaded it, inserted it, and tried to store the gun again.

Inventory:

Sleight of Hands: ϐµ°˘¿≥ ”¿¢ϐ x1

Two gems lit up again. Telling me that the gloves didn’t carry about increased weight, and they didn’t seem to care that there were actually 17 different items in play there, so long as they were all put together. I confirmed with a box of 9mm JHP ammo. Items in containers were only treated as a single item.

Right then and there I decided that this would be how I carried my CCW from now until the end of days. I practiced a few times “drawing” the firearm out of thin air, and squealed with joy when it worked each time. There was literally no reason not to carry this way. I could have my gun in my hand with just a thought. No struggling with holsters. No worrying about printing.

I was positively giddy.

The very next thing I tried was a 30 round AR mag, and again two gems lit up.

That meant I could have two mags in each glove, ready to go, that would be in my hand at the speed of thought. I damn near creamed my pants at the idea.

Four entire mags that would take up functionally no weight or space on my person either. You know what they say, “Ounces equals pounds. Pounds equal pain.” The gloves were as comfortable as any I had owned, and looked to be about as durable as my mechanix set. Sure, they were going to look pretty bizarre in public, same as with my boots, but I could give less of a shit what other people were going to think of them.

There was a flood of ideas in my brain about all the various things I could do with these gloves. The shenanigans I could accomplish. If I was a less morally upstanding man, I would have the ability to commit so much crime. Honestly though, that’d be a waste of my time at this point. Why would I rob a place of eight or so small items and risk years in prison when less than an hour of spelunking in the dungeon netted me thousands of dollars and cool magic items?

I pushed any remaining thoughts of grand larceny out of my head as I tried more ideas.

I found it helped more to think of the storage in terms of “slots”, where something the size of a shotgun shell or pistol magazine filled one slot, and something larger like a small handgun or AR mag took two slots. Size-wise, nothing that would’ve logically taken up three or four slots by itself would fit into the gloves. Small separated items took up a slot apiece, whether that be four gold nuggets or four 12ga shells, or even four rounds of 9mm. The moment I put those 9mm in a mag, I could have 60 rounds in one hand. I put the gold in a pouch, and I could have ten of them in two slots.

Also, because my curiosity got the better of me; no, I could not store one of my cats. I'm not sure if it was because of their size (they aren't fat, just big), or because they are living creatures.

Something else came to me. I sprinted to the kitchen, startling my cats with my sudden movement. I grabbed the stopwatch, and started the time. Then I stored it. I watched the time on my phone until two minutes had passed

Depending on what happened next, then I would either declare these gloves the best thing to ever exist, or just in the top ten of all time.

I retrieved the stopwatch.

The time read 1 second, and was counting up from there. One second was about the amount of time it had taken to store it. I needed additional tests to confirm, so I grabbed a box of matches from the random-junk drawer and lit it, then stored that too.

I knew from prior uses that these matches would only stay lit for about ten seconds, they were cheap as hell but helpful when I was camping. For this test, I again waited two minutes, then retrieved the match.

It was still aflame, and going strong.

Conclusion: Items put in storage were in a state of stasis for the duration.

I’d like to express my greatest gratitude to the dungeon for bestowing unto me this overpowered isekai cheat item. I promised to abuse it relentlessly with the utmost responsibility.

I stored my handgun in my right glove, and three mags in the left, then left my house.

I had things to buy.

My coworkers stared at me when I walked in, particularly at my boots and gloves, but they didn’t say anything so I just walked past and ignored them while I made my selections (besides asking them for a cart).

A new set of level IV plates. A case of one thousand rounds of 7.62x39 123gr Pointed Soft Point. CMMG Mk47 (for those unfamiliar with firearms, that’s an AR that takes AK47 mags but AR parts). Franklin Armory binary trigger. Twenty steel 30 round mags, four 20 round mags, and a foregrip. In lieu of a replacement tactical vest, I instead bought pouches that would attach to my existing plate carrier, to save weight and the amount of time it’d take to gear up.

I got enough to let me carry four spare mags, and my other bits and bobs.

After that, I strolled over to the Smith and Wesson handgun cases to have my coworker pull out a M&P 10mm handgun. I grabbed two additional mags for it (beyond the two it already came with), and four of the plus three extensions that we happened to have in stock. Then five hundred rounds of Hornady 175gr Critical Duty, and a Leupold Delta Point Pro red-dot.

My total ended up coming out to just shy of five grand, which I gladly spent, then stopped by my manager’s office to give him my two week notice. I didn’t wait for him to respond before moving all my stuff to the car and then driving home.

It took a considerable amount of time, since the instructions it came with were dogshit, to get the trigger installed. Thank god for youtube tutorials. This was another thing on the list of expensive items that I had wanted for years but could never afford.

For those who don’t understand what it is, I’ll explain: With a standard trigger, you squeeze it, the gun fires and the action cycles. Then you release the trigger, which resets it, and then you pull it again to fire again. So on until you either run out of ammo or decide to stop shooting. With a binary trigger, it fires once when you pull the trigger, and again when you release it.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Before you ask, yes, it is completely legal to own in every state that doesn’t engage in communism. I live in a state where the Second Amendment is thoroughly respected and cherished. No, that doesn’t make it a machine gun.

If I pulled the trigger, and decided I didn’t want the second bang, I could flip the selector switch to Safe or Semi, and then the trigger would act as normal.

God they were so fucking cool.

The thermal optic was easy enough to mount on and zero, I just went into my back yard and aimed at a tree with a bore laser. I didn’t fire it, but the zero would be good enough for inside the dungeon. The IR device got mounted, then my broom handle foregrip.

I tested to make sure that my AK mags could fit inside the gloves, and they did despite being larger than the AR ones. I wasn’t going to complain. My plate carrier was also simple enough to set up, if time consuming. My standard rig was going to carry four AK mags, spare batteries for my NVG and optic, portable charger (for the flashlight), multitool, tourniquet, paracord, duct tape, glowsticks, motion sensors, and a few flares.

In my backpack I’d keep a hundred and twenty extra rounds of ammo for the rifle, first aid kit, four additional loaded mags, food and water for two days, crowbar, more spare batteries, and another roll of tape. Oh, I almost forgot a hundred extra rounds for the 10mm. I added that too.

That all made me quite a bit heavier than the last time I had been fully kitted up, but it was all essential items that I wasn’t willing to go without.

In my right glove, I kept two twenty round mags full of the 110gr armor penetrating rounds, for emergency ogre use only. In my left glove, two normal 30 round mags, also just in case of high speed reload.

On my belt rode my new 10mm, mounted with the dot, and three spare mags. Then my knife sheathed on my left thigh. You might have noticed that I was refusing to run out of ammo again.

I decided to leave behind the firebolt staff for now, the extra weight was just pushing what I was willing to casually carry.

It was go time.

I strolled back into the dungeon again, and an estimate told me that it had been about ten days inside (four hours outside). The first thing I checked out was the rooms I had already explored. Somewhat disappointingly, the goblins had not reappeared. I noticed also that the Abyssalite that I had shot was still in pieces. Add that to the list of things I have to study, whether or not the dungeon regenerated over time or not.

I checked out the room where the first orc had ambushed me, and found it was completely empty, so I walked back to the entrance. This time, I took the south hallway. I turned two corners before encountering something I hadn’t seen yet. A staircase. The dungeon had so far been a flat plane, with only variation in the height of ceilings. I walked up slowly, rifle ready.

At the top was a doorway to the left. I slowly peeked around. Three goblins stood there, facing each other, rattling along in a language I couldn’t understand. It was odd to hear them speak, after only hearing them scream or snarl this whole time.

No matter, I was sure they’d die just the same despite their newfound discovery of words. All three were armed with stone daggers. The one on the right died in an instant when a 123gr soft point poked it in the chest. The other two yelped in surprise, but started moving to attack. I had more than enough time before they could get near me to fire three more times, and they dropped to the ground.

There was another door to the north, and I could hear goblins in the next room screaming with rage as they rallied to come face me. I didn’t give them the chance. I switched the selector to binary, and dumped half a mag through the door, hearing bodies hit the stone. I walked through, and found two had already died, while two more were crawling for a door to the west. One of them had taken a round in the leg, the other in the lower back. I had plenty of ammo this time, so I didn’t mind wasting two more rounds to finish them off. I tried pulling the trigger while aimed at one, and released as I aimed at the other. It was clumsy for a first try, but I got both with a quick one-two burst.

Gained 7 Soul Energy, 40/40

Level threshold has been met. Would you like to level up?

Hmm, let me think about that.

Yes, yes I do.

Class: Unassigned

Level: 5

Soul Energy: 0/60

5 points assignable

Class selection now available, please use a Class Endowment Gem.

Well, I had no idea where I’d be finding one of those, but hey, sounds cool enough. I also noticed that hitting level five had given me quite a lot more points than normal, which made a bit of sense to me. It seemed this was a milestone of sorts. I wasn’t going to complain, at the rate that the required SE was going up, I’d take all the points it wanted to give me.

Strength: - -> 2

Dexterity: - -> 3

Confirm?

I welcomed whole heartedly any addition to my speed and reaction time, especially since it made Minor Speed that much more effective. And being stronger was also a big boon. I was carrying a lot of stuff, and lemme tell you it did not feel good on the lower back. My body glowed with that familiar golden light, and when it dimmed I accessed myself.

Class: Unassigned (Class Selection available)

Level: 5

Soul Energy: 0/60

Aura: 100%

Stamina: 100/100

Mana: 0/0

Strength: 2

Endurance: 3

Intellect: -

Wisdom: -

Dexterity: 3

Curses: None

Boons: None

Debuffs:

Abilities: Minor Speed

I could tell the difference immediately. My body moved with noticeably more grace, my heavy footsteps touching the ground lighter, and all of the weight of my kit felt like I could carry so much more. It felt like Minor Speed was active, but it was my natural state now.

With such drastic changes, I wondered what would happen when I upgraded Intellect and Wisdom.

The next door led to another hallway that went up another staircase, at the top of which was another small room. There was another new sight. These were not orcs, I could tell that right away. They were much taller than goblins by a fair margin, and had dark hair along most of their visible skin. Long fangs jutted from their mouths.

I’d say these were supposed to be hobgoblins. The two of them wore proper leather armor, and were armed with spears and wooden shields, which they readied at the sight of me. I imagine that if I was some fledgling adventurer on his first dive into a dungeon, without a gun, I’d have been rightly intimidated. One of them fished something from a pocket and crushed it in their hand, and then the room went dark.

Well, it was supposed to I think. The lights didn’t work anymore. My NVG picked up nothing until I clicked on the IR illuminator. There they stood in the darkness, slowly and silently creeping toward where I stood. I don’t think they realized that I could see them.

Ninja hobgoblins with magical smoke bombs, what a sight.

I introduced the two of them to the traditional American martial art of “gun”. My special move, double tap to the chest!

Gained 4 Soul Energy, 4/60

Honestly, it kinda felt like I had cheated them. They had such a neat strategy, that would’ve been very effective against anybody else. They were ready for a proper fight in the dark, but this dungeon just wasn’t designed with someone like me in mind, was it?

As for loot, one of them dropped a small black orb. The other dropped nothing.

Gem of Obscurement

I guessed that was what they just used, and immediately pocketed it. Being able to knock out the lights like that, even in just a small room like this, had a lot of potential. I waited to see how long it lasted, and it dispersed after three minutes. Awesome.

Onward I went, through the door the hobgoblins had oh so valiantly tried to defend, into another hallway that led to a Y shaped junction. I went to the left first, and turned right back around when I saw that it ended in another tiny empty room. The right path led to a room that connected to another hallway. It seemed empty, so I strode through.

The stone behind me shifted, and I turned around just in time to see the walls close in to block the way I had just come.

“Ah shit.”

Down the hallway I had just been walked toward, I heard the screams of excited goblins.

“Alright then, I guess this is happening.”

I reloaded a fresh magazine and dropped my backpack in the corner. I unzipped the pocket that held my four spare mags, just in case I needed them.

For good measure, I shot the Abyssalite on the ceiling, then took aim at the door.

I'd say that compared to last time I had faced a horde, I was significantly better equipped and prepared, but having a better choke point and a larger room would've been nice.

Moments later, just as the last light from the gem had faded, the goblins began their assault.