It was to be done both out of his sight and out of his mind. That was the decision that Nimroad I had come to when he had decided to execute the man who had come before him. After all, what good would come of wasting time watching an infidel burn when the Gate that his god had promised him was not just completely unearthed but also ready to take not just him, but also the surviving higher-ups of the New Sultanate and those elites who had been ordered to come with. None of them could be bothered to witness such a worthless sack of waste be burned alive, and the final climactic showdown with the evil and demonic Abominable King was right at their fingertips.
They could very likely end the whole of the Greater Darksol Empire then and there with a single surgical strike, so why would they even bother wasting time on other such trivialities? They all knew exactly how poorly the war was going, but they figured that they had a very decent chance of immediately turning everything around if they could just claim the head of the enemy nation’s leader. And, with that line of logic in their dumb little brains, they spoke the words needed to open the Gate.
“Hei luuk aht mii ai yah’m a fuu-keng moeh-rahn! Ai yam sues-saidel ahnde wahn’t tuuh d’ai b’ai Kaynes hans!”
With those words having been spoken, the object, which anyone with a decent knowledge of pop culture would tell you looked an awful lot like a cheap knockoff 1-1 scale model of a Stargate from the show with the same name, began to cause several runes on its main ring to light up. Yes, the sigils on the ring lit up, and the ring didn’t move at all. Like was previously stated, this was an obviously cheap knockoff that was hopefully just different enough to keep the lawyers at bay.
Eventually, the sigils were all glowing and a distorted image appeared inside the ring and showed some kind of dark and foreboding interior space on the other side of the Gate. Perhaps because he did not wish to seem like a coward, Nimroad I strolled through first, ignoring the calls from the others who were to journey with him that he should let someone else be the ‘guinea pig’.
As he passed through the portal, Nimroad I felt the world around him and within him shift. It nearly caused him to stumble as he crossed the threshold, but he kept his footing at nearly the last moment. He looked around ad felt quite uneasy. The entire place he was in seemed to be the stuff born of nightmares as its décor was something a modern Earth fantasy enthusiast would view as the obvious lair of an obviously evil Big Bad Evil Guy.
This place had the whole nine yards; lots of dark black things, thorny metal brambles holding the trapped living corpses of the one who fell in the fortress, light being provided by balefire that somehow produced enough light to see everything clearly despite not looking like it could and more. If you could list a feature that instantly came to mind when thinking about an Evil-Alignment character from most fantasy media, this place seemed to have it in spades. It was very disconcerting for everyone who came through the Gate and saw it, which made some second guess whether trying to get to their target was even a good idea in the first place.
Of course, while you all know that even bothering to go to the Flying Fortress was a bad idea, they managed to convince themselves that this was all nothing to be overly worried about. With this new courage that they had built up filling themselves with renewed vigor, the seventy or so men moved forward and went deeper into the deathtrap. In a way, their decision to ignore all warnings and danger could be seen as what it was, despite them not realizing it; a joint application for the Darwin Award.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
And boy, would they earn one.
…
The seventy or so men finally managed to reach the throne room and looked up to see the Abominable King seated high above them. They wanted to get closer and take his head, but the more they moved closer the more painful it became to continue, and eventually they decided to try and goad the seemingly oblivious entity into coming down and facing them.
“Die, monster! You don’t belong in this world!” shouted Nimroad I.
A slight yet nigh imperceptible smile crossed Kain’s face for a moment.
“It is not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. You were called here by a trash can who wished to give me victims.” Kain said, uttering more vocal words than he had done at any given moment after his reawakening.
“Victims?!” screamed Nimroad I. “We aren’t those who you rule, so we are not victims! Besides, you steal men’s souls and make them your slaves! What kind of monster does that, anyway?!”
Kain let out a small, singular chuckle before retorting.
“A half-truth, but perhaps the same could be said of all religions…” said Kain, who was on one hell of a roll.
“Your words are as empty as your soul!” countered Nimroad I in retaliation. “This world ill needs a savior such as you!”
“What is a 'word' but a miserable pile of secrets?” Said Kain, who was actually quite shocked that his body was able to speak as much as it had been doing up till now. “But enough talk. I have but one word for you all.”
Nimroad I and his people took their typical fighting positions that they had never had to use before and would make even a poorly trained disciple of cold arms extremely disappointed in them. As they finished forming themselves up, Nimroad I asked the big question.
“And, might I ask, what foul singular word might you have to say before we end you in the name of the One God?”
Kain now had a massive smile on his face and uttered a single word. It was a word that none here save for himself were familiar with, but that didn’t matter much anyway.
“Yeet.”
The Sultanate idiots looked confused. Was that word an insult or something? They were about to simply cast the thought out of their minds when the ground beneath their feet began to shift and a tendril of matter with a clawed hand at the end arose from the floor, grabbed one of the Arbianans, and tossed him towards the nearest wall. The wall actually opened up as though with were an organic valve and the thrown person flew through the opening and through many others, eventually falling out of the fortress and plummeting towards the cursed and defiled land that was still beneath the flying fortress-city.
As the man fell, you could almost hear a yell coming from him that sounded like something from an audio stock. It wasn’t the Wilhelm Scream, but it was something near to it. The eyes of the Arbianans shifted from the sight of their companion being thrown out of the battle back to Kain, whose grin was as big as he could make it.
The pressure that was keeping the Arbianans from reaching the Abominable King was still as strong as ever, and the doors behind them closed shut, preventing any escape. Kain narrowed his eyes and said one last thing before more ‘handy’ tendrils emerged from the ground and reenacted a scene from The Emperor’s New Groove en masse.
“Yeet.”