Cog and Shaggy hit a pink fleshy island and rolled. Shaggy was surprised they weren’t atomized as they slammed into the soft pink flesh of the island. The scent of blood was everywhere, and it was stiflingly hot. Shaggy rolled away from Cog and hurriedly stood. He tried again to summon his claws, but nothing happened. But unlike with the Land Between, where it felt like his powers were gone, here it felt like they were being suppressed. He was about to shout a question when Cog beat him to it.
“Xang! I offer a bargain. Your precious crown and the life of this mutt for clemency!”
Shaggy coughed in surprise at the offer. It was a bold and stupid move. The shaking of Xang’s realm seemed to echo Shaggy’s feelings. From the rivers of boiling blood, a voice echoed. Deep and ominous. It made Shaggy’s teeth vibrate as Xang laughed at the old technopath.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! You seek to return what you have stolen and kill my champion?! You think this will make me grant you mercy?”
Cog tried to wipe the drying blood from his pants. But it was a useless endeavor. Shaggy watched Cog with interest as the man seemed to be annoyingly calm about everything. Giving up on cleaning himself, Cog looked out past their little island of flesh and grinned.
“The Accords, Xang. All Gods must hear any bargain made in good faith within their lands.”
“THE ACCORDS ARE FORFEIT WHEN DEALING WITH A THIEF!”
Shaggy fell to his knees as Xang’s wrath shook the entire world. He felt like his brain was slamming into his skull as he stood back up. Thankfully, he noticed that Cog had fared no better. Shaggy thought he could see a bead of sweat sliding down the side of the bald man’s head. Either from nervousness or the stifling heat, Shaggy couldn’t say.
“So you will not be sticking to the Accords then?” Cog smirked.
As soon as the words left his mouth, all hell broke loose. Shaggy couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening, though. As the ground shook, the colors inverted, a high-pitched whine echoed in his ears, and he swore he could taste sound. Shaggy almost wanted to log out and check if his Immersion Pod was damaged. But the feeling quickly lessened and Shaggy realized they had a lot of eyes on them. Not physical eyes, but Shaggy could almost sense that they were being watched from all angles. It was like his very soul was on display for all to see.
“What the fuck did you just do?”
“Sacrifices will be quiet when in the presence of their betters.” Cog spat.
Shaggy growled and launched himself at Cog. The old man hadn’t been expecting it as he didn’t put up a defense. Shaggy tackled Cog at the waist and body-slammed the slim man into the fleshy ground. With Cog dazed, Shaggy got into a mounted position and started raining punches down into Cog’s faces. Cog tried to defend himself with his cybernetic arm, but Shaggy responded by grabbing the arm and rolling into an armbar. With Cog’s arm between his legs and the back of his left knee on the man’s throat, Shaggy pulled the metal arm backward with all his strength.
Cog didn’t shout in pain, but he did sputter in alarm. His metal arm creaked dangerously as Shaggy did his best to wrench the damn thing off. Cog sputtered angrily as Shaggy kept up the pressure. He still wasn’t sure if he could kill Cog here, but he was certainly going to try. Even as the two wrestled on the flesh-colored ground, Shaggy could feel the eyes of others still on them. But he ignored them. They apparently would be doing nothing.
Cog punched Shaggy’s legs as the metal arm sparked and whirred dangerously. Shaggy put Cog’s wrist in his armpit and gripped his hands under Cog’s metal elbow. With an almighty tug and hissing hydraulics, Shaggy finally yanked the metal arm free of its sockets. Cog gave a gurgling cry of alarm. But Shaggy grabbed his prize and quickly stood, arm raised high in triumph.
“One-nothing, fuckwad! Let’s see if I can get one of the other three!”
“I invoke the Accords!” Cog shouted after hacking and coughing his airway clear. “I issue a bargain to Xang, I return his crown and add the soul of his champion for clemency and my swift return to the mortal plane.”
“His bargain is void!” Xang cried, his blood oceans roiling high now. “This puny mortal stole my crown and now seeks to use its return for his own ends.”
The high-pitched screeching came back with a vengeance, and Shaggy vision blanked for a few seconds. Xang’s realm rumbled and Shaggy could almost hear the voices in the distance having an argument. Everyone now and again a shiver would go down his spine as one of the in-game Gods would look at him. It was not a comfortable situation. His only solace was that Cog seemed just as uncomfortable with the Gods arguing about their fate.
“This isn't going to work, dumbshit.”
“Your reliance on puerile pejoratives is a testament to your lack of intellect. Thankfully, I will not have to inhabit your body now. Once this has worked, I shall be free to return and you shall be locked in this realm forevermore.”
“How is this going to work?” Shaggy cackled. “Even if these accords you’ve invoked worked. You still have to beat me, one-arm. Without powers, you’re a fucking joke.”
Cog’s response was a smile that froze Shaggy’s blood. He quickly tried to guess at what the old man was playing, but he didn’t know enough about the Gods or how the Accords worked. He made a mental note to ask Levy about it when this shit was all over. A surge of wind almost knocked Cog and Shaggy over as Xang’s echoing cry of annoyance filled the world. Shaggy groaned as the unseen eyes returned to him and Cog.
“The Accords have been invoked and they shall be followed. However, as you have struck at the Gods, Coggins, your punishment should you fail shall be threefold.” An unfamiliar voice echoed into Xang’s realm.
Shaggy could feel Xang seething at the edge of his perception. The god was clearly not happy with the decision. But Shaggy merely shrugged his shoulders and tossed Cog’s arm to the ground. He put his arms up and squared off with the thin man, But Cog turned to the sky and spoke again.
“That is fair, o wise Gods. However, as you can see, I am outmatched. The one I face is a Champion of considerable skill, if failing intelligence. The contest must be made fair in accordance with the rules, correct?”
The unseen Gods pulled back again and Shaggy could hear the low whine of their hidden conversation. But a thought hit him.
“Hey! We are already pretty fair here, right? I mean, I have no powers, he has no powers. Ya can’t get fairer than that… uhh, right?”
Shaggy’s vision swam as all the Gods’ attention switched to him again. A sudden headache hit him and he had vertigo for a few seconds. But then the feeling was gone, the low whine of talking Gods was back. Cog was shooting him the stink-eye, but Shaggy ignored it as he tried to collect himself again. The old man kept quiet, but Shaggy delighted in possibly throwing a wrench into the Technopath’s plans.
The short extra-planar conference came to a swift end and Shaggy felt Xang taught nerves tighten further. With a shudder, Xang’s realm dissolved into a black void, leaving him and Cog floating in the abyss. Cog looked alarmed and Shaggy couldn’t blame him as a fight in zero-gravity was a pain in the ass. But with a small pop, they both appeared back on top of Cog’s pyramid. At least it looked like Cog’s pyramid.
Shaggy noted the distinct lack of his friends or the army of players and robots. The Gods had apparently dropped them in a facsimile of Cog’s realm. Shuddering, Shaggy felt more eyes turn on him and he was suddenly lifted into the air. He saw the same thing happening to Cog as he feebly struggled against the power holding him. But it was useless.
With an icy feeling washing over him, Shaggy felt his body’s aches and pains disappear. He was given new clothes and wiped free of the grim from the Raid. With a spin and a blast of wind, Shaggy was dropped back to the obsidian roof of the pyramid and turned to look at Cog. The surly old man was still in his young prime, but now his cybernetics were gone. His arm and legs were both human, and he was dressed in a similar style to Shaggy.
Shaggy didn’t even try to hide his mirth as he laughed. “Ha! Looks like we will have to face each other as PURE Humans, eh Cog? How do you like your odds now?”
The bald man’s scowl depend and he looked like he wanted to rage at the Gods. But a sudden oppressive voice pushed down on them both.
“In agreeance with the ancient Accords of the Universe, the Gods have seen fit to oversee this bargain. Carl Coggins has agreed to return the Crown of Bone to Xang The Blood God and offers the soul of Xang’s own Champion in exchange for clemency. The Champion has not refuted the bargain…”
“Wait! I could do that?”
“Therefore, Carl Coggins shall return the Crown and attempt to seize the soul of Shaggy the Champion. If Coggins cannot extract the soul or if his own soul is extracted, the bargain is forfeit and Xang is free to punish Coggins for any transgressions. What prize does the Blood God’s Champion request?”
Shaggy scratched his head as he glared up at nothing. “Yeah, first off. Can I refute the bargain now?”
“No! The time for such things was when the bargain was struck. You remained silent, therefore your tacit approval of the bargain was accepted. Name your prize!”
Shaggy grumbled, but said nothing as he tried to think of something. He was already dead, so he was going to respawn after all this, anyway. But once he popped back up, what would happen? What was going on with the Legion and Levy? Were the players still fighting in Cog’s realm? A thought hit Shaggy.
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“Oh! Can I get Cog’s realm as my own?”
There was a brief pause as the Gods conferred. Meanwhile, Cog glared at the side of Shaggy’s face. Soon the Gods came back.
“No! The prize is not commensurate with the Bargain. You have one more chance or your prize is forfeit.”
Shaggy growled, but quickly cut it off as a shiver went up his spine. “Not commensurate to the bargain?”
Shaggy thought about Cog’s bargain. The old man was bargaining for his own soul and clemency. So Cog would be pardoned for his transgressions against the Gods and returned to life. Shaggy couldn’t stop the grin from spreading from his face as he thought of something.
“I wish for the same prize as Cog. Return me to life and grant me clemency for any transgressions against the Gods!”
There was a long pause as Shaggy waited on bated breath. Eventually, an almost confused sounding voice stated. “You have not transgressed against the Gods to our knowledge.”
Shaggy smiled. “Not yet, but the way I’m going, I just might. So I want one get-out-of-jail-free card with the Gods. Same as Cog.”
An unknown voice spoke up quickly. It crackled in Shaggy’s ear and seemed to flicker in tone as it said. “The Primal Gods cannot speak for the Gods of Light or Dark! We cannot accept a prize of all Gods.”
“No.” said another voice, firm as rock and twice as deep. “But you know the spirit with which the boy made the choice. The Primals can agree amongst ourselves.”
“It is a cheeky choice.” whispered another voice through Shaggy’s ears. “I like it.”
“Do we have an accord?” Said the first voice finally, rocking the very pyramid Cog and Shaggy stood on.
A general murmur of agreement went up from the Gods and Shaggy blew out a breath. Cog was still glaring at Shaggy, so he threw the old man a middle finger and winked. Cog’s face went red with rage as his hands clenched. A sudden snap at Shaggy’s right hand drew his attention downward. He found he was holding a black dagger suddenly. A glance up showed a similar dagger in Cog’s hands. Both glowed with an eerie green light.
“The ceremonial blades shall ensure that the losers’ soul is preserved for Xang. Only a killing blow with the dagger shall be counted as a win. Carl Coggins and Shaggy, you may begin when ready.”
Shaggy gave a feral grin as he squared up to Cog. The man was taller, so he had a longer reach. But Shaggy was sure that Cog wasn’t one for knife fighting. Shaggy wasn’t a fan either in the real world. But at least he had some training with his claws. Choking up on the long handle of the knife, Shaggy dove in and tried to harrier Cog toward the roof’s edge. But to his shock, Cog seemed to be perfectly cognizant of his reach advantage.
Dancing backwards, the tall man swung his own dagger over Shaggy’s thrust and at his head. Shaggy had to duck down further and sidestep to get away for Cog’s clumsy swipes. Cog rushed forward, dagger swinging. Its ominous green glow leaving a trail in its wake. Shaggy pivoted around Cog and dashed in for a swipe at the man’s legs. Cog moved his legs but kept his body bent forward, presenting a nice target as Shaggy changed the direction of his dagger. Cog tried to pull his arm back and get his dagger up to block Shaggy. But he misjudged the distance and Shaggy’s blade bit into Cog’s arm.
“ARGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!”
Cog tumbled backwards as he shrieked in pain. The blade’s green glow was mirrored in the wound in made on Cog’s arm. The light shone briefly as Cog quickly backed away. Shaggy stared as the flash of green light caught him off guard. Especially with what it was apparently doing to Cog. A flash of memory reminded Shaggy of his own green, glowing claws. His claw’s blight was supposedly there to wear off the target’s soul. If that same thing was on their daggers, Shaggy really didn’t want to find out how badly that hurt.
“Ssssssss, you damn mutt!” Cog hissed and shouted before he rushed forward.
Shaggy quickly sidestepped a rough stab from Cog and ducked in again. Cog quickly kicked out at Shaggy, catching him in the jaw. Shaggy grunted and stumbled backwards. A ruffle of clothes made him look up and notice Cog rushing him again. Flat-footed, Shaggy stumbled to get his guard up, but Cog thrust his dagger forward and into Shaggy’s shoulder.
Shaggy felt the blade pierce his skin and Shaggy screamed as he felt something within him break. He wasn’t sure what a soul being cut felt like, but he was pretty sure the game devs had nailed it. He felt the blade leave his shoulder, and the searing burning pain lessened to a degree. But Cog was pulling back for another stab.
Shaggy dropped to his knees, a simple thing given the pain he was in, and swiped his own knife across Cog’s middle. Cog roared in pain and Shaggy rolled away, his shoulder screaming at him. Slowly getting to his feet, Shaggy kept an ear out for Cog, but the man was still wailing in pain. Shaggy tucked his injured arm in and tried not to move it as he spotted the flash of green light from his dagger. Cog’s wound was taking longer to come back from, probably because of its size. So Shaggy took the opportunity and rushed in again.
Shaggy aimed an overhand stab at Cog’s chest as he ran back in. but Cog saw him coming and backpedaled as he pulled an arm up to block the dagger. Shaggy’s dagger bit into Cog’s other arm, as Cog’s dagger swiped upward and caught Shaggy in the chin. The tip of Cog’s dagger sailed past Shaggy’s nose as he was wracked with the painful throbs of his soul being worn away. Cog himself recoiled and shivered as he cradled his injured arm. Shaggy chuckled as he felt adrenaline fill his veins.
“How ya liking the pure human, Carl? Is it everything you wanted it to be?”
Cog gave an empty laugh. “Ha! The pure human is a fallacy, boy. I learned that years ago. Human kind was tainted far before those disgusting aliens showed up at our doorstep. Only within machines will we find salvation. Only in the pure absolutely precision of the clockwork will we find peace. But people like you are still too blind to see the truth. More concerned with petty squabbles of flesh and money. You are all just dogs rolling in the mud!”
Shaggy shook his head at the pontificating ass and gave the only answer he could.
“Woof.”
Cog glared at him, but Shaggy ignored it and threw himself forward. His face felt like it was burning from his chin wound and jostling his arm, made him want to scream. Cog rushed to meet him and the two stabbed at each other at the same time. Shaggy batted Cog’s knife hand away as Cog tried to suck in his stomach. Shaggy stepped closer and shoved his shoulder into Cog, swiping his dagger across Cog’s upper chest. The man screamed again and shivered, but brought his own knife back to stab at Shaggy again. Shaggy dodged the unwieldy swipe and slashed at Cog’s knee as he stepped past. Cog gave another harsh scream and fell down to one knee.
Shaggy spun on his heel and gripped Cog beneath his chin. Pulling Cog’s head back, Shaggy got ready to swipe his dagger across Cog’s throat. But Cog’s knife hand came up and stabbed Shaggy in the stomach. Pain flared in his whole body, but Shaggy held onto Cog’s chin. His arms shook and his vision blurred, but he did his best to rake his knife across Cog’s throat. Cog twisted his own knife in Shaggy’s stomach and Shaggy howled in pain.
They both fell to the pyramid roof and Shaggy shook as he tried to roll away. He wasn’t sure how much of Cog’s neck he had cut. So he wanted to be ready. But as his body was wracked with pain, he heard a wheezing, sputtering cough from behind him. It took some effort, but he managed to spin around. On the ground, lying in a pool of his own blood, was Cog.
The bald man was pale and sickly looking. His body spasming in pain as he bled out. Shaggy gripped his stomach as the bald man’s eyes drilled into him. The hatred of the universe was contained in those eyes. Shaggy felt an ice cold finger ripple down his spine. Then he blinked, and Cog’s eyes misted over. His gurgling stopped and, with a final death rattle, Cog died.
Almost immediately after Cog’s body had breathed its last, Shaggy was transported back to Xang’s realm of blood. The heat and the scents assailed him as his wounds were healed and his dagger was taken. Shaggy idly noticed that the other Gods were gone, and it was just Xang and him, alone. The unseen eyes of the Blood God regarded Shaggy for a few quick seconds, before his deep voice shook Shaggy’s brain.
“You have done… well.”
Shaggy nodded. “Yeah, uh… sorry, it took so long. Had business to take care of, y’know?”
“I do not.”
“That’s fair.”
“Do you wish to remain my champion?”
Shaggy blinked. “Was that an option?”
Xang seemed to hesitate for a few beats. “I have never granted the privilege to someone before. This time it was done out of mere convenience. You had witnessed what Cog had done, so you seemed the optimal choice. Though I doubted you quite a bit.”
“Yeah, I’m a fail-till-I-make-it kind of guy.”
“I’ve noticed.”
An awkward silence filled the air as Shaggy tried to think of something to say. Xang’s realm was oppressive at the best of times. But with the added awkwardness, Shaggy could hardly breathe.
“So what’s going to happen to Cog? Did you get your crown back?”
“My crown is with Cog’s actual body. It shall be mine again shortly. As for the thing once known as Carl Coggins? His suffering has yet to begin.”
Shaggy nodded idly, figuring it was better not knowing what the Blood God had planned. He clapped his hands together and nodded.
“Well then, I should probably mosey along then.”
“You never answered my question.” Xang said.
Shaggy scoffed. “Please, you know the answer. I already get covered in a lot of blood, anyway. Might as well dedicate some of it to you.”
Xang’s silence was palpable before a tired sounding God asked. “You have no idea what is expected of you as a Champion, do you?”
Shaggy waved at the air. “Meh! I’ll figure it out. Express elevator up, please.”
Shaggy swore he could hear the Blood God roll his eyes as Shaggy’s body was lifted into the air. His eyes filled with visions of blood and bone. Followed by a kaleidoscope of orange and red colors. With a soft whump, Shaggy felt like he landed back on his feet, right where he had been standing before. Cog’s lifeless body was at his feet, but his friends were quiet. In fact, Cog’s entire realm was silent. Shaggy spun around and found himself face to face with Korrigan’s small army. Her mages had created a dome of protection around the pyramid’s top. Her demons had his friends encircled and the Mad Witch herself was glaring down at him.
“Where’s my crown?” Korrigan said. Voice like ice.
Shaggy sighed loudly and groaned as he wiped a hand down his face.
“Oh, fuck off!”