“You. Are. Bullshit!”

“What?! What did I do? Dave was the one with the Tsundere, witch offering us a spot in the war.”

“What’s a Tsundere?”

“I’ll explain later, Dave.”

“Sure, Shaggy. But you still went to a pocket dimension run by one of the area’s biggest villains, and you met her.”

Shaggy sighed. “I’m sure most players who go to her realm get to interact with her.”

“Kind of. I mean, I met her when we released her from her little prison. But she wasn’t talking straight at me,” Levy said.

“Whose side are you on?! Also, she didn’t talk to me exclusively. She mostly had it out with the ancient God that can apparently hijack my damn body at anytime.”

“I’m sorry. What?” Ren said, looking up for what he was working with Slink.

Shaggy rubbed his eyes and Levy shuffled in her seat happily. “Yeah. Apparently, the Blood God took over his body for a little while during the meeting. Fuck! I wish I thought about recording it! It was soooo epic.”

“It almost fucking killed me!”

“Meh! You’re still alive, love, and now we have our raid against Cog.”

“Did she mention anything about the logistics? How is this all going to work on the player side?” Slink asked as he kept his handwriting on the sheet of paper he had.

Shaggy, Dave and Levy all shrugged. Slink rolled his eyes and dropped his head back to the paper. Ren covered a chuckle as Vlad groaned audibly.

The trip back to the Den had been quick. If a little disorienting. Going through two portals back to back had given Shaggy a headache. Or maybe it was Levy and Dave excitedly dancing about like children at a theme park. Shaggy seemed to be the only one concerned with their Legion’s tiny number of actual players. He had tried to explain this concern to the others once they got back. But Vlad seemed more fixated on his bullshit luck. Although Shaggy wouldn’t exactly call himself lucky.

“So if I understand everything,” Ren started. We have ‘a few days’ to prepare for a massive raid against Cog. You’ve already told the forums about it. And we don’t know where Korrigan is going to be assembling her army. Is all that correct?”

Levy waved the big rhino-man off. “Sure, but the hive mind of the forums is on it. They’ve narrowed down to a few places northwest of Austin. A few Speedsters are off looking. We should have the location soon. Everyone is really excited. Although there are a few Guilds that are getting overly protective about stuff.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Vlad grumbled. “All it takes is a few assholes with more people than sense for them to think they can control the raid.”

Slink blinked owlishly as he looked up. “Isn’t a clear and concise command structure helpful?”

Shaggy chuckled. “Sure, if you have a group of well-disciplined and serious gamers. Trouble is, those types often clash with the more free-wheeling people. Some people are just looking for a brawl to throw themselves into.”

“Like my dear husband.” Levy interrupted.

Shaggy didn’t disagree. “So if this Raid is as big as it looks like it will be. We are going to have a lot of type-A asshole guildies bumping up against the independents.”

“So what do we do?” Slink asked, finally putting down his pen.

“Nothing.” Ren said. “This type of thing always happens. Especially on big raids. You just gotta let things work themselves out. Normally the two groups will separate amicably and the raid will take place on two fronts essentially.”

“So, which one are we, then?”

“Guild.” “Independent.” Shaggy and Vlad said at the same time.

The pair glared at each other before Shaggy growled.

“Dude, we don’t have enough people to consider ourselves an actual guild. We are, at best, a loose association of villains with an army of Lackeys.”

“Yes. Which is why we are a guild. Just because we can’t field actual players doesn’t mean we can’t throw our Lackeys at Cog.”

“No. The fact that if we lose our Lackeys, we lose our territory means that we can’t throw them at Cog.” Shaggy said heatedly.

“We can make more Lackeys.”

“Okay, but our businesses and our loyalty scores will take massive hits. It’s not worth it.” Slink inserted.

Vlad hissed, but shut up and gulped his glass of blood. Shaggy gave him his best stink eye, but quickly brought up the next issue.

“We also promised to inform the Professor’s group.”

“Yes, we sent a runner to the Brute Clan. They’ll get the word out.”

Shaggy nodded. “I know. But that raises another issue I think we will have. This is a Raid with Heroes and Villains taking part. We are going to have to be on the lookout for a double-cross.”

“Like, is that likely? I mean, we are all going to be kicking Cog-dude’s ass, right? So the heroes will leave us alone… right?”

Levy cackled. “Maybe during the raid. But who knows what’s going to happen after?”

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“Cog’s realm is going to collapse and we are all going to have to get out of there, fast. But I bet some fuckers are going to use the time to gank one another.”

“Wait.” Slink said, scratching his head. “Aren’t Raids supposed to be repeatable? That’s what one of the game books I read said.”

“Some can be,” Ren explained. “But this one seems more like a story or event-based Raid. Something that will reshape the landscape of the underworld. I mean, Cog and the Mad Witch are about to slug it out in a magical dimension. Whatever happens at the end, it’s going to change things.”

“Not to mention our little bullshit-magnet gets the last blow.” Vlad grumbled.

“Hey, if I don’t, there is going to be a furious Blood God.” Shaggy shrugged.

“How is that going to work? I mean, do we just ask the other player to hold off the last blow for Shaggy?” Slink asked.

Shaggy and the others at the table shared looks before bursting out into laughter. Vlad and Shaggy pounded the War Table. Careful not to damage anything. Levy and Ren patted the annoyed-looking Slink on the shoulder as Dave glanced around. He was laughing, but looked confused as to why. Once everyone had control of themselves, Ren explained.

“Getting players to do anything is a stupid endeavor. We could ask them to hold off on the last blow. But I doubt anyone will listen.”

“So what do we do then?”

“Well, it really depends on the Raid. But if the worst happens, we are going to have to run Shaggy to Cog as fast as possible.”

“Yeah, but I doubt we’ll have to do that.” Vlad snarked again. “Mister protagonist is probably going to have an epic battle with Cog while we all sit out and watch.”

“You know you had the opportunity to go with us to Korrigan’s realm, right? But you wanted to handle shit here.”

Vlad threw up his hands. “I know! Even so, dude, shit just happens around you. I mean, we had our own shit going on here while you were topside. But nothing like what you see.”

Shaggy could only shrug. He did have a habit of attracting attention. But he put that down to him going out and looking for it. Vlad and the others were doing great work with the bar and everything. But that really didn’t lend itself to epic stories. If you want the big quests in games, you got to go out and grab them yourself.

Soon, the table dissolved into all of them planning for the upcoming raid. Unlike Shaggy, the others were going to need new weapons and armor. Meanwhile, Levy convinced Slink to create a magical library for her in the Legions HQ. Shaggy was grateful that his wife's books magically flew onto the shelves once the room was finished. Levy was highly particular about where her damn books went.

Dave and Ren went to sort out their own people in the Legion. So Shaggy went in search of his pack. Slink was still monitoring the Legion’s dealings through the War table. But it looked like the boy was getting ready to hand things off. Shaggy was happy that the kid was coming with them on the Raid. Hopefully, they could pull the kid away from managing the Legion more often.

He found Sybil and Vick on the second floor of the bar. Sybil was chatting up a waitress as Vick cleaned a shiny new rifle. Shaggy did not know where the man got it. But it always made him happy when his minions outfitted themselves.

“Hey, boss! How’s tricks?” Sybil crowed as the waitress used the chance to scurry away. “Naw, wait, honey!”

“I told you.” Vick chuckled. “You come on too strong.”

“I don’t need dating advice from a monk.”

“Hey, I do just fine. I just don’t talk about it as much as you.”

Sybil flipped Vick the bird and looked up at Shaggy expectantly. Shaggy could feel their boredom through his pack link. But unfortunately, he had nothing for them.

“Sorry. It’s just a check-in. Leadership has some big shit going down here soon. So I’m going to need everyone here on alert.”

Sybil scowled, but Vick nodded. “That’s fine, boss. Ephemara has us on Quinica patrol.”

“Which is stupid because the damn pale bastards are gone.” Sybil groaned.

“For now. But we don’t know what they’ve got planned. Besides, we’ve found a few pockets of them, haven’t we?”

Sybil grunted and gave an irate nod. Shaggy scratched the back of his head as he thought about the Quinica. But that was a future problem. He wanted to check in on the others before he did anything else.

“Good luck with that, boss.” Sybil chuckled as she sipped at her beer. “Rita has been playing Den Mother while Cekrass and the kid are off wrestling with their new friends.”

“What about Tom?”

Vick stuck a thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the rooms on the backside of the building. “He’s enjoying his new room. Passed out as soon as he hit the bed.”

“What the hell has he been up to?”

Sybil and Vick shared a look before shrugging. “No clue, boss. He says he is out doing recon. But always comes back smelling like smoke and liquor. Then again, you could pick up that smell anywhere in Under-Town.”

“We talked to Ephemara about it. But she said to leave him alone. He’s on a secret detail.”

Shaggy nodded. “If that’s what Ephe said, then just leave it. I trust her.”

“We know you do, boss. Which is why we didn’t bring it to you.”

Shaggy talked to them for a little while longer before he returned to the base beneath the bar. The work topside was finished quickly. But below the ground, Lackeys were still shifting and hauling dirt like a colony of ants. Even with Levy’s new Magical Library, they still had plenty of room to build things out. Shaggy passed the Library, then Roald’s shop, which was surprisingly busy. Shaggy saw the chubby little technopath barking orders at various robots. He ignored the scene and pushed on toward the two workout rooms they had dug out.

Sounds of fighting and cheering echoed down the hall as Shaggy got closer. He had to swerve around a few overzealous Lackeys. But Shaggy could feel his blood pumping as he entered the first workout room. Men and woman, Aliens and Mutants all crowded into the space. Some using the workout equipment they had stolen from topside. While others were crowded around the small sparring mat. Shaggy couldn’t help but grin as he saw Cekrass and Stanley taking on all comers.

The lanky Were-Quinica was looking more confident as he tossed around Perinadons and other aliens. Meanwhile, Cekrass was fighting like a lizard possessed. Dashing in and out of his opponent’s range. The big lizard alien apparently learned how to dodge while Shaggy wasn’t looking. Shaggy felt their pride at his thoughts through the link and was about to move on when a Lackey decided to get stupid.

“Hey! What about the little guy? I haven’t seen him in her before!”

Shaggy turned around to see who had spoken. The room fell silent as the Shaggy scanned them. A few clearly knew who he was, but he saw a few confused faces. A couple of Lackeys started whispering loudly. But Shaggy growled, silencing them all. He ambled toward the sparring mats. People shuffling hurriedly out of his way. For a few seconds, Shaggy revealed in the feeling. After getting magically owned in Korrigan’s realm. It was nice to be feared once again, to feel like a predator. Then Big Mouth opened his gob again.

“Seriously? What the fuck has everyone’s panties in a twist? I just want to see the little guy fight.”

Shaggy spun toward the voice and found the speaker. It was a dark-blue alien with black hair and three antennae. Shaggy cracked his knuckles and pointed a finger at the loudmouth. The Lackey’s could use more stories to spread about him. Unfortunately, before he even got to that point, Cekrass decked the alien. The silence in the room somehow became tangible as Cekrass looked at Shaggy.

The lizard was panting hard and had a wild look in his eye. Shaggy rushed over, annoyance gone as he thought his pack mate was in trouble. But Cekrass shook his head. Beady eyes dilating. Shaggy plucked at their bond. Finding his bond with the lizard engorged and thrumming with energy. Shaggy grinned and raced toward Cekrass. He gripped the large lizard by the head and drug him down to meet his eyes. Staring into the lizard’s eyes, Shaggy was even more sure.

“You’re about to shift.” Shaggy practically cackled.