“So a big rhinoceros guy just kept swinging away at all of you. Even though he was slow and clearly not able to hit anything?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I don’t think he was the smartest of the Wild Bunch, really. He was a big dumb animal that was more muscle than brains.”

“Meanwhile, my group sets fire to a drug lab and runs into a shitty little hyena bastard with lightning powers!?”

“Apparently, Sybil. Look, I don’t control how the Bunch distributes their bag of animals, okay? This is not my fault. Dave’s team got away scot-free and you're not yelling at them.”

Sybil pursed her lips and scowled. Shaggy sighed and placed another credit chit into the Hideout’s main terminal. Nearby Cekrass was merging the chips with the credit reader as fast as he could. It was great having so much money, but getting it placed into the Hideout was taking way too long. There was an option in the Hideout menus for a vault, but Shaggy didn’t want to build the thing when they could just insert the money directly into the console. Anyone who broke in could still steal the money if they accessed the console, but it was safer.

“Naw, dude. I had to deal with those dalmatian things, y’know. They were freaky.”

“Dalmatians?” Shaggy frowned and looked at Dave.

His fellow player was sitting cross-legged in the dirt near the console. His ever-present smile was plastered on his face. Dave’s group had been the first one to make it back. Ulf, Stanley, and Dee came next, with Bartle still unconscious on Stan’s shoulder. Shaggy and the rest of his pack followed shortly after. But then Sybil’s group came next. All of whom were injured or unconscious. Branka and Seth had to carry Heru between them as they walked down the tunnels. Sybil and Otto looked bruised up as well. Apparently, their run in with the lightning hyena was a rough one.

“Yeah. Dude, they were these twin dog things with these wicked purple spots all over their bodies. I mean, I’m not a cat person, but those two ugly bastards are making me rethink that position.”

Shaggy grimaced as he pictured the odd creature. Cekrass passed him another credit chit, and he installed it as he looked back at Sybil.

“So was your guy the one that called Lenny?”

“Lenny?”

“Our Rhino-guy.”

“I don’t know. He was zipping all over the place. If Otto didn’t have an earth power, we wouldn’t have locked the jerk down so fast. Even then, I had to scorch my favorite blouse to get to him.”

“Well, we have enough to get you a new blouse, Sybil. Not to mention a bunch more things. But for now, why don’t you go relax and get something to eat? I hear Rita went out and grabbed a bunch of food.”

Sybil grumbled a bit as she looked between Shaggy, Cekrass, and Dave. Sighing, the petite woman shook her head and marched off. Shaggy gave his own sigh as he yanked out the depleted credit chit. Cekrass passed him a new one, shifting on his improvised seat. The seat groaned and Cekrass batted it on its green-haired head. Dave cocked an eyebrow at the exchange.

“Isn’t that technically torture? I thought the game had safeguards in place to prevent that.”

Shaggy shrugged. “It’s kind of a gray area. First off, I’m not doing it. So there’s a loophole there. Second, this is mild bullying at best. Which the system seems fine with. In fact, most of the stuff you would do to a younger sibling is fair game. Wet-willies, noogies, you could even give him a wedgie and the system admin wouldn’t do anything. But if we step into the realm of torture, we’ll get slapped by an admin faster than we could blink. So since none have turned up, I think we are in the clear.”

“What about the time limit?” Dave asked.

“Yeah, that one is a hard rule. We can only hold another player for two hours in-game time. Only way around that one is if you’re part of the police or something. Even then it’s not you holding them, it’s the game.”

“So, are we almost out of time?”

Shaggy checked his in-game clock. They still had thirty minutes to squeeze more info out of Bartle before they had to release him. But the annoying wannabe Australian remained silent. Which had prompted his new occupation as Cekrass’ seat. The seven-foot lizard looked no more comfortable than the player. But Cekrass was still happy to help.

“Nope, we still got plenty of time. Anything you wanna say to commute your sentence, Bartle?”

“You’re an asshole, Shaggy.”

Cekrass smacked Bartle’s head again as Shaggy chuckled. “Hehehe. Oooo, I love it when you talk dirty. But seriously, anything you could give us would be useful. We still need to find the Bunch’s main headquarters, not to mention any other targets of opportunity.”

“I ain’t saying shit. Those are my employers.”

“Not for long. Once we take out their leadership, we’ll be the new gang in town.”

Bartle snorted. “Please. You lot may have defeated Lenny and Clyde. But those were the two weakest of the Lieutenants. Botch and Daws are way more powerful. The experiments didn’t fuck with their minds.”

Shaggy smiled as he checked the terminal tally. They were just north of fifty-four thousand credits. “So there are four lieutenants and we just smashed two of them. Good to know. Any idea where Botch and Daws would be? What about George?”

“I… I didn’t… But… ASSHOLE!” Bartle sputtered.

“Hey, that was all information that you freely gave. I did nothing. But please keep talking. How many of the Wild Bunch are going to crush us? We know they know where we are, but how likely are they to attack? Anything you got?”

Bartle stewed in annoyed silence. Shaggy went back to inserting money into the terminal as Dave kicked up to his feet and looked over Shaggy’s shoulder. Dave whistled at the amount before they started planning what they wanted to do with it. They ignored the surly Bartle as Shaggy explained how he saw the whole cave coming together.

Levy had wanted the cave’s theme to be a giant forest. So he was going to leave that as it was, along with the large pool she had made behind their house. What Shaggy was going to focus on were the defenses. Both in the cave and the tunnels that connected them to the surface. Unfortunately, their reach only included the old kobold tunnels. Not the maintenance tunnels or the Deli above. So he was going to have to set traps and shore up the tunnels. He also wanted to disguise the entrance and maybe set up some kind of security system.

“That sounds great and all, but don’t we need to supply the materials for all that? I mean, I know we can purchase a lot through the terminal. But isn’t it, like, cheaper to not… do that?” Dave asked once Shaggy had stopped.

“Yes. But one thing we have in abundance is dirt, so I was wondering what we could do with that. Not to mention, Levy’s trees also count as a renewable resource.”

“You’re going to cut down your wife’s trees? Dude, I think she’s going to be pissed when she comes back.”

Shaggy laughed again. “No, dude. Check it out.”

Shaggy closed the banking portion of the terminal and switched to the Hideout menu. “You see up here, where it says Mana Points and Regeneration?”

“Yeah? So?”

Shaggy pointed upward. “That big ass crystal above us makes this entire area a magical zone of some kind. It increases the growth rate of the surrounding trees for magical power. So we use the wood and then crank up the growth rate. We’ll lose some light in here, and it’ll still take the trees a bit of time to regrow. But we’ll have a renewable source of wood that we can trade with Under-Town and use for our own defenses.”

Dave smiled as he seemed to understand, but then his eyes scrunched up. He looked like he was concentrating on something. “Wait… What if we run the jewel-thingy out of power altogether?”

“I would guess that would be bad. So we should avoid doing that at all costs. I really don’t want Levy mad at me.”

“Really don’t want Levy mad at me. Blah blah!” Bartle snarked nasally. “You lot will not be down here much longer, anyway. Once the Bunch finds you all, you are all going to die, anyway.”

Shaggy sighed. “You’re not a cheery person, are you, Bartle? But hey, maybe you like being a chair. I’m not one to judge. Also, hey! Now I know that the Bunch don’t exactly know we’re down here. So thanks again for the information. You really are a font of information, Bartle.”

“Oh, just fucking kill me already. I can probably respawn and be back at the casino before I have to get up for work.”

“Yeah… About the gambling hall…” Shaggy trailed off as he scratched the back of his head.

“What did y’all do?”

“Well, it was a source of money for our enemies, and there was no way for us to get upstairs. So…”

Bartle struggled beneath Cekrass. But the big lizard was firmly on the smaller man’s back. He didn’t even budge as he held out another credit chit to Shaggy. Shaggy accepted it gracefully and went back to the banking menu. Slowly. He really wanted to slam the point home for Bartle. That his job was probably up in smoke by now. Even if the people on the third floor got it put out, the second and first floors were going to need some serious remodeling.

“Just say it, you asshole!” Bartle shouted.

Shaggy downloaded the credits into the terminal and then turned to smile down at the man. “Well, we set the place on fire. While also wrecking as much of it as we could.”

“Wha…” Bartle stopped struggling as Shaggy’s words registered.

Shaggy could see the green-haired player’s face go from annoyed to enraged. Cekrass slammed his hands down on to Bartle’s arms as the man struggled in earnest.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“You scum-sucking bastards! That was such a cushy job, man. I could just sit back and let the Evo points roll in as I showed off my knife tricks for trophy wives. It was the easiest gig ever, and such an ego-boost. Those casino guests loved me.”

“Dude, it sounds like you were a show-pony. I mean, if that’s what made you happy, rock on. But you could also be out there exploring this game, man.” Dave chided gently.

“Oh, stuff your cool surfer-boy shit, ya jackwagon! That place was the chillest spot. I rarely got any other players fucking with me. The bunch were some fun guys, and if you did well enough. They’d sign you up for the experiments. That’s when you’d get the big bucks.”

Shaggy felt his eyes widen, and he tensed his muscles. But he said nothing for fear of making Bartle stop talking. Dave, however, didn’t have the same compunction.

“Whoa, dude! The what? Like, I’m all for a little experimentation. But are some of those people like animals? I mean, like, I guess if that’s your kink then…”

“NO! You dumb hippy bastard! The experiments! The ones George was doing for some other group. They want to know if some of their animal characteristics can be removed or transferred to others. So George does these tests, right? Combining both magic and science to see what can be given and taken away! If you get signed up, then that’s your ticket to the big leagues man! They send ya to this other place. Where all you have to do is stay in a room and let them experiment on you a few times.”

Shaggy couldn’t help himself as a chortle left his lips. “So your goal, in this Super-Hero game, is to be a lab rat? To sit in a room and let some dude poke and prod you for answers to game-related questions?”

Bartle snapped his head around, trying to glare at Shaggy. “Oh, ha ha! Asswipe. Say what you want, but once you get experimented on, you see a tremendous boost in your in-game abilities. You become virtually unstoppable!”

“You mean like Lenny and Clyde?”

“Those were MISTAKES! It will be different for me because I’m a player. I’m sure I’ll get something awesome and then I’ll be the most unstoppable badass in this game world. And all I have to do for that power? Sit on my ass and wait. Which I can’t do anymore! CAUSE YOU FUCKERS BURNED DOWN MY JOB!”

Shaggy and Dave stared at each other before returning their glances back down to Bartle. The player was absolutely fuming about losing his in-game job. Shaggy was more gobsmacked that someone could believe they would get rewarded for sitting on their ass all day. But lazy people were everywhere and Bartle appeared to be a champion-level lazy person. He shook his head and went back to inserting credits into the terminal. Bartle struggled a bit more until Cekrass cracked him in the head a few times.

“Y’know, dude, I’m usually not one to tell someone they’re having fun wrong… But…” Dave started.

Shaggy raised a hand. “Just don’t, dude. He’s going to play the way he wants. As ridiculous as that sounds. Besides, we get to kill him here in a few minutes.”

“Just do it already. What are you waiting for?” Bartle moaned.

“Waiting for the last possible second, actually. The longer you stay in Deathville, the easier it will be to take a run at George and his Wild Bunch. Don’t need you running off and sharing any intel with them. If we time it right, you’ll be out of the game for a day at least. I don’t know what we can do with that time. But we’ll…”

Shaggy trailed off as a blue window popped into his face. He read through it and snorted at its contents.

Notice

It has come to an admins attention that you are holding a player against their will. You are approaching the two-hour mark to release the player. Please note the AGE Entertainment does not want to hinder anyone’s fun. But such actions can be detrimental for both the company and the player you are holding. You may deal with the player as you see fit, however, you must let them go before the two-hour deadline. Otherwise AGE Entertainment will have to punish your in-game avatar. You have been warned.

Enjoy the rest of your play session and thank you for playing.

00:05:34

“Five minutes to go,” Shaggy said as he closed the window. “Anyway, you want to die?”

Bartle gave the best shrug he could from his position. “Just get it over with.”

Shaggy looked at Dave, but the other player merely waved Shaggy on. Shaggy grew his claws and had Cekrass shift slightly as he approached. He was surprised the dude didn’t try anything as his claws jammed down into the other player’s face. Cekrass stood as the body of Bartle shuddered and then disappeared into motes of light. Bartle was gone with barely a sound, and Dave and Shaggy watched as the motes of light disintegrated into nothingness.

“Boss?” Cekrass asked, holding out another credit chit.

Shaggy took it gratefully as Dave stared curiously at the big lizard. The leather of Dave’s jacket creaked as he crossed his arms and looked up at Cekrass. Shaggy turned to finish depositing as Dave asked.

“What do you think about what just happened?”

It took a moment for Cekrass to realize that Dave was talking to him. But when he did the big lizard gave a confused.

“Hmm?”

“What just happened here?” Dave asked again. Shaggy rolled his eyes.

“Boss killed a prisoner.” Cekrass stated simply.

“But where’s the body?”

“Uh… right there?”

Shaggy shook his head as Dave hummed in fascination. He turned to grab another credit chit and saw Cekrass looking concernedly at Dave’s expression. The big lizard was still pointing at the empty ground and Dave was grinning like crazy as he looked at Shaggy, then Cekrass, and then back down to the empty dirt floor.

“Leave it alone, Dave. I don’t need you trying to break the system.”

Dave scoffed. “Not trying to break the system, dude. But isn’t it fascinating? I mean to you and me, the body is gone. But to them, it’s like you killed a guy. I mean, it’s like we are two distinct beings existing on the same plane, but observing two distinct realities, man. Isn’t that, like, bitchin?”

Shaggy snagged another chit from Cekrass as he quirked an eyebrow at Dave. “Yeah… Bitchin. Y’know, you’re a surprisingly deep guy, Dave.”

Dave laughed. “HAHAHA! Sh’yeah right! I contain multitudes, dude.”

“You sure do, Dave. You sure do.”

Shaggy spent the next thirty minutes slowly loading more and more money into the terminal. It was tedious work and his pack and Dave kept him company as he went about his business. When Dave asked the others what Shaggy was doing, they all responded that he was balancing the books for the gang. Dave spent the next ten minutes trying to imagine what that looked like to the NPCs.

Shaggy spent some of the time shoring up the Kobold tunnels, too. When he had a few moments to spare, he would switch tabs and try out his idea. It seemed to work. Some trees on the periphery of the grove would appear chopped down and then Shaggy would have wood to brace the walls of the tunnels. He even made them slightly bigger and more even, all the way to the top. They were still going to need lights, but at least now it would be an easier walk.

It looked like the crystal above could handle the regeneration of the trees pretty well, too. They weren’t growing before their very eyes, but the terminal gave a nice countdown until the resources ‘reset.’ Shaggy rubbed his hands together maniacally as he thought about finishing his cabin and maybe creating some spike traps in his tunnels. He had a little dungeon-esque thing going on and he was all for it. Of course, that meant he would need people to test his traps on. But if Bartle was right, the Bunch were going to be marching on them soon.

He was finishing up the tunnel reformation when Dragan and Luis came speeding down the main path. Neither stopped to comment on the cut down trees and Shaggy had to grab a hold of Dave to stop the guy from asking anything. Both boys looked worried and were holding their K-Tech brand rifles out in front of them. Shaggy knew that both boys had been on guard duty upstairs. Not in the deli, but inside the maintenance tunnels.

Both of them sucked in lungfuls of air as they shouted over each other. Shaggy stared at Rita, who had taken over credit consolidation from Cekrass. The older woman shrugged as the two boys yammered on and on. Shaggy thought he heard the words animals, horde, and wrecked. But he couldn’t understand any damn thing as both boys were trying to shout over one another. He was about to shout when Rita slapped her hands together harshly.

“HEY HEY HEY! Quit that! Take a breathe and then report in. ONE AT A TIME! Luis, you first.”

“Bu…” Dragan started.

Rita glared the young man down as Luis sucked in another lungful of air. Once the leader of the teens was ready, he explained.

“There’s a bunch of thugs out there!”

Shaggy raised an eyebrow. “In the deli?”

“No! In the streets! We heard a loud rumble coming from above and we went to check it out. When we got into the deli, we saw a mass of Wild Bunch Hybrids marching through the streets.”

“They didn’t attack?”

“NO!” Luis shouted, sounding annoyed.

“They ain’t attacking us. They’re hitting the entire neighborhood. There were a couple of big guys standing watch outside the deli. But they never entered.” Dragan explained.

Shaggy rubbed his chin. Intrigued. “Huh. I really didn’t expect them to hit at us this soon. But hell, they may be just as impatient as we are.”

“They’re setting everything on FIRE, boss! We have to do something.”

Shaggy weighed the pros and cons in his head. His people were tired. They’d been fighting all night. Vick and Sybil were both passed out in their bunks, the same for most of the teens. Shaggy rubbed his face as he glanced at Luis and Dragan. It sucked for the neighborhood. But they didn’t have the manpower to repel such an attack. Not on the scale the two boys described. But they also just couldn’t let the attack go. That was a boatload of Evo points and credits waltzing around above their heads.

Rita sighed as she read Shaggy mind and put the credit chits down. But Shaggy stopped her.

“Nope. You and everyone else will stay down here. Dave and I will handle this.”

“Shaggy?” Rita said warningly. But Shaggy was resolute.

“No. Rita. I will not risk it. The kids and the pack need their rest. Dave and I are just going to do some hit-and-run tactics and try to get as many as we can. I need you down here defending. If I was in charge of the bunch, I’d have someone waiting for our group to leave. Then they’d march on down here and go to town. So I need you to muster a defense with whoever is already up. Get Tom to help. He’s had a pretty peaceful night.”

Rita still looked like she wanted to argue. But Shaggy held her gaze until she gave a reluctant nod. It wasn’t the best plan, but he and Dave were really the most expendable. If they died, they’d come back with skill reductions and busted equipment. Luckily for Shaggy, he didn’t really wear any. Although he made a mental note to grab as many snacks as he could. It was going to be a long night.

Dave was grinning like a madman as he shifted from foot to foot. Shaggy quirked an eyebrow at the easygoing player’s behavior. Dave merely cackled as they started walking toward the newly made tunnel exit. Dave shadowboxing the whole way.

“Excited, are we?”

“DUDE! The two of us versus an army of peons? That is sooo fucking epic. It’s like those old martial arts movies. One man versus an army of bad guys, and he just beats the shit out of all of them.”

“Don’t play with the fodder too much. We’re looking for the big guys leading this whole mess. I’m willing to bet if it isn’t George himself, it’ll be one of the remaining lieutenants.”

“Itchy and Paws?” Dave asked as he stopped his frantic moving.

Shaggy nearly lost his footing. “No. They were Botch and Daws.”

“Bitchy Claws?”

“You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Hop-Scotch Logs?”

“Yeah. You’re going to be on your own for this battle.”

“Oh, that’s a neat idea. Let’s see how many each of us can kill before we either die or retreat?”

“What does the winner get?”

“Bragging rights for a week?”

“I think I’d prefer credits. Besides, we are trying to take out their command structure, not annihilate them.”

“Sounds like a sore loser readying his excuse right there.”

Shaggy rolled his eyes as he stopped at a small fridge by the exit. The pack had placed it there for road snacks. After filling his pockets, Shaggy nodded at Dave.

“Fine. You're on. Most kills get bragging rights. But the leaders are worth ten points. Agreed?”

Dave rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Fuck yeah. Dude. The rest of the guys will not believe this. Mind if I record this?”

Shaggy shrugged. “Go ahead.”

Dave set-up the in-game recorder as they both disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel. Shaggy readied himself as best he could mentally for what they were about to walk into. He could’ve probably thrown a bunch of his NPCs at the problem and been fine. But that just didn’t seem right to him. Besides, Dave was right. This was going to be epic.