“Fucking tiny bastards!” Shaggy yowled as he yanked his foot out of a three foot deep spike trap.

The metal spike came loose with his foot and he had to sit and yank the damn thing out of his shoe. Shaggy ignored the silent chuckles from his wife and pack as he examined the hole in his shoe. It was another bit of clothing that was gonna have to be replaced after this little trip. His pants were cut to shit, his shirt was in tatters, and now his right shoe had a thin slice through it. He grumbled incoherently as he got up and threw the piece of metal to the floor. Tom rushed forward and collected the slim, sharp piece of metal and Shaggy sighed.

“We warned you.” Levy said, not trying to hide her mirth.

Shaggy just waved his hands and turned to continue down the tunnel. The traps weren’t deadly. Not to him, at least. Several didn’t even pierce his skin. But the near-constant barrage of pit-falls and spring-traps made walking down the tunnel annoying. Plus, he was going to meet the master of this little dungeon naked at this rate.

Levy’s spell did light up the more dangerous traps, though. Several fireball traps and pits of magical acid were easily avoided or circumvented. Tom had even collected some acid for his growing collection of weapons. The slim man clinked as he walked now. All sense of secrecy was now gone, with Tom carrying his various bits of metal and glass. Shaggy wanted to know what the man was going to do with all those knives, but his search for more traps prevented it. Rita and Vick seemed content to let Tom have his little collection.

Levy was more concerned with continually spotting the magical traps ahead of them. While the kobold ones were a minor nuisance. A fireball would be trickier, even with Shaggy’s prodigious regeneration. Not to mention the acid. But as they traveled, the magical traps grew less and less frequent. Which was the exact opposite of the kobold traps. Whoever was creating the magical traps obviously hadn’t trapped the tunnel beyond the first three hundred feet or so. Now all he had to contend with were the few spring traps, pit traps, and random snares.

Thankfully, the kobolds didn’t seem to realize that someone bigger than them would wander into these tunnels. Most of the traps were for someone of their three to four feet height. So even Shaggy’s short form could pass through them, mostly unharmed. Well, save for his clothes, of course.

“We need to get you some enchanted clothing.” His wife said.

Shaggy merely grunted as he spotted some disturbed earth on the right-hand wall. Figuring it was another trap designed to whip a knife at him, he crouched low. The others all hung back as Shaggy crouch-walked toward the wall and ran a long claw through the dirt. A tickle in the back of his mind made him check the scents in the air and that’s when he noticed that the green-blue smell of the kobolds was everywhere. His eyes widened in shock.

“AMBUSH!” Shaggy shouted as he dove forward.

The others behind him all scrambled as the sound of shifting and collapsing dirt filled his ears. Shaggy wanted to check on his wife and pack, but a sharp spear-point coming from the dark stopped him. He tilted his head away and followed the spear shaft back to its owner, coming face-to-face with the leathery lizard snout of a kobold.

The creature snapped at him viciously. But Shaggy ignored it and swiped upward with his claws. He felt them tug on the creature’s cone-shaped mouth and then push through. The small creature reeled back in agony as Shaggy spun and brought his left claw across its body. Silencing it forever. Sparks of purple filled the tunnel as his wife fired off small bits of purple flame. Shaggy could also feel his pack calmly dealing with the other kobolds in the tunnel. Shaggy found another target nearby and leapt.

The poor kobold was still digging itself out of the collapsed wall. Its fellows had been hiding behind the tunnel’s walls and jumped out, ready to fight. Shaggy dove forward, claws outstretched. They easily pierced the dirt and flimsy leather armor the kobold was wearing. Shaggy dug his arms upward and felt the tug of flesh as the kobolds’ hide tried to fight his claws. The creature slumped into and out of the half-collapsed wall as Shaggy turned to find another target. But a harsh blow slammed into his hip and he stumbled.

Righting himself, Shaggy glanced around. He found a stocky kobold wielding a massive black hammer. The creature growled at him as it lifted the four-foot hammer and charged. Shaggy followed suit and rushed forward in the cramped tunnel. It had the height advantage in the tunnel, but Shaggy was tougher. The kobold swung it’s hammer horizontally in the tunnel so Shaggy went low and dove for the thing’s legs. The creature's leather skirt didn't do much, and Shaggy easily cut through its knee.

Shaggy grinned as he heard the stocky creature scream. Spinning, he quickly went in for the kill. Pouncing on the downed figure, he clawed the things front and back until it stopped moving. Shaggy stood with a huff and glanced around. The sounds of spells and fighting had stopped and his vision was getting better as his wife’s spells weren’t causing havoc with his vision.

“Sound off!” Shaggy shouted, trying to sound professional.

“Here, dear.” Levy responded.

“Alive.”

“Clear.”

“Where’s that damn hammer?!”

Shaggy shook his head as Tom whizzed by him and scooped up the stocky kobold weapon. The man was still jingling from the collection of trap knives and glass jars he was carrying about his person. But Shaggy was also happy to see the tinge of blood on Tom’s Quinica claws. The guy could hoard as many weapons as he wanted. So long as he still killed their enemies.

Tom searched in the dirt for a short amount of time before he came away with the massive two-handed warhammer. As Shaggy got a good look at it, he realized that the head was also made of the black-metal all the other kobold weapons were made of. Shaggy raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask questions. They could figure what the weapons were made of later. Instead, he looked the others over.

Rita, in her silver armor, was fine. Only a few odd scratches on her armor. Vick was a little sweaty and his rifle had a few nicks in it, but he seemed fine. Levy’s black pants and dark shirt were also cut in a few areas. But she seemed fine and Shaggy didn’t smell any blood from any of them. When Levy caught him eyeing her from top to bottom, she quirked an eyebrow.

“Inspecting the troops?”

“Gotta make sure you’re all in good condition to continue,” Shaggy explained.

“Mm-hmm.” She hummed skeptically.

Shaggy waved her off and pointed a long claw forward. “The scent is still getting stronger. I think we are getting closer to whatever counts as a communal spot for these damn critters.”

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“What’s the play, boss? We slaughtering all the damn things?” Rita asked, sounding excited.

Shaggy shrugged as Levy asked. “Are we really going to commit genocide on all these poor creatures? It isn’t their fault they were summoned here. Plus, once their link with whoever summoned them is gone, they’ll get pulled back to their home plane.”

“Free to be someone else’s problem.” Vick grumbled.

Rita looked a little nonplussed, but Shaggy nodded at his wife. “So we aim for the big-bad while not letting any of these fuckers get away with anything? Clear?”

“Yes, Boss!” His pack mates responded as one.

Shaggy grinned as he took the lead position again and rushed forward. Only to step into another pit trap. He felt the slim knife slip into his shoe and foot and gave a grunt of annoyance. As he stepped out of the hole, Tom was there waiting. Shaggy shot the slim man with a withering look, but it bounced off the man.

Once they were well on their way again, Shaggy double-checked any scents in the air. But while the smell of kobold was getting stronger, there were no more ambushes ahead. But he didn’t just blindly trust his nose. Years of gaming had made him extra cautious in dungeon environments. Even with maxed skills, you could still be killed if you weren’t prepared. With each new pit trap or knife-throwing spring trap, Shaggy felt his senses heighten slightly as he prepared for the next threat.

It was at the point that he was twitching at the settling of dirt that Levy placed a hand on his shoulder. Shaggy jumped at her touch and spun rapidly, feeling his heart leap in his chest and bringing up the claws of his right hand.

Levy glared at him and bopped him on the nose. “Calm down, love. You’re winding yourself up. We need you calm and ready for what’s ahead. Whoever placed all these traps wants us paranoid and mentally exhausted by the time we get to the end. So take a few and relax.”

Shaggy nodded as he realized she was right. He was getting more and more worn down by each trap. Not physically, but mentally, which could be just as deadly. He glanced at Rita and the rest of his pack and they also seemed slightly on edge. Their pack link was probably resounding with his amped emotions and created another feedback loop. He shook himself and leaned against a cave wall, indicating for his pack to do the same.

Now that they were all taking a break, Shaggy remembered Tom’s little horde and asked.

“Tom, I have to know. What the hell is up with your hoarding?”

“I’m not hoarding!” Tom exclaimed. “I’m just collecting the loot. We don’t know how much this stuff will go for back in Under-Town. Not to mention, we could sell some of these weapons to the new recruits.”

Shaggy stared at the slim man for a few seconds before he wiped a hand down his face, incredulously.

“What?!” Tom asked, sounding offended.

“We have weapons at the bar!” Shaggy shouted back. “Plus, most of them are actual guns or at least better quality melee weapons.”

“Pfft. These are Fae Metal weapons, boss. Who knows what kind of magical properties they could contain?”

Shaggy felt Rita and Vick’s skepticism through the pack link and looked to his wife for confirmation. But Levy only gave a half shrug.

“Magical metals have been known to cross over the planes. But they usually fade along with their wielders. If nothing else, I know a few sorcerers who would like to study the metal. But that can wait till later.”

Tom gave a fist pump and looked back at Shaggy with a smug grin. Shaggy just shook his head and let the man have the win. For all he knew, Tom was sitting on a gold mine of mystic weapons. Although it was more likely that he was collecting a stack of trash. Shaggy pushed off the cave wall and motioned for the others to follow. His feelings of paranoia had been blown away by Tom’s ridiculousness. He felt Tom give a mental huff over the link and smiled as he noticed a spot of light from ahead.

He raised a hand pointed. He hadn’t realized they were so close to an exit. In fact, the smells in the air were stronger, and the muted sounds of something echoed through the tunnel. Shaggy shot an inquisitive look back at his wife. Levy clenched a fist of purple magic.

“Shielding spell. Probably kept the sound and light from reaching us.”

“But not the smells.” Shaggy grinned as he moved forward boldly.

It looked like there was only one exit. So whatever was waiting for them through the tunnel exit was probably well aware of their presence. At least that was Shaggy’s excuse to burst from the dark tunnel into the brighter and more spacious room. Shaggy blinked as color came back to him. The snapping and snarling of kobolds filled his ears before the crack of someone loudly snapping their fingers resounded through the room.

Shaggy’s vision came back just as a male voice filled the air. Judging by how clearly it sounded in his ears, Shaggy guessed it was a magically amplified voice.

“So you filthy heroes have finally found my Lair? It is no matter. My army of elite kobolds stands ready to annihilate all who trespass upon my hallowed grounds.”

Shaggy grimaced at the young-sounding voice and the almost nasally quality it carried with it. Rubbing his eyes, he got his first glimpse of the large, arena-like room they had stepped in. It was a jaggedly shaped oblong that had obviously been carved out by hand. But it seemed secure, and the room was pretty big. Shaggy guessed it was about three hundred feet across with a domed ceiling that went up almost a hundred feet. He was impressed and almost gave a whistle of appreciation, but his wife’s voice stopped him.

“We aren’t heroes, little summoner. But we also don’t take kindly to a pack of wild animals in our backyard. Remove yourself or be removed!”

Levy pointed a finger across the open dirt floor at the magic-user who had summoned the kobolds. A grey alien stood on a short, flimsy looking wall of wood. Misshapen sticks and logs made up the wall with sizeable gaps between the fortifications. A few spiked wooden stakes were also placed on the ground ahead of the short wall, but that was it. Shaggy noted that the wall the Summoner was standing on wasn’t even complete. It was just the one wall. But the young man in dark robes was also surrounded by his Kobold army.

Shaggy tried to do a quick count, but with the ones on the ground and on the wall with their master, it was tricky. He guessed there were less than one hundred of the little buggers. His confidence swelled as he spotted their primitive weapons. But the smile was wiped from his face as the summoner spoke again, voice dripping with bravado.

“Ooooh. A drow! Why don’t you come here, my sweet and I’ll show you some magic.”

Shaggy’s vision went red, and he felt the wolf try to shove itself free. He got a hold of it in time to watch his wife fire a foot-wide eldritch beam that careened across the battlefield and slammed into the summoner’s wooden wall. The wood caught fire, and the summoner gave a surprised shout. Kobolds scattered about, screaming as Levy cackled madly.

“Oh, I’ll show you magic fuckwad!” Turning to Shaggy and his pack, Levy growled. “Leave that little shit to me. Can y’all deal with the small fry?”

Shaggy felt himself and his pack nod as one. Levy returned their nod and rushed forward as Shaggy grinned at her back. Vick’s rifle barked as he marched forward, firing at the mass of kobolds. Rita drew her sword as Tom moved along the outer wall of the cavern, pulling jars of acid from his pack. Shaggy got ready to let the wolf out as Rita’s voice echoed in his ears.

“I love your wife, boss.”

Shaggy cackled louder as his bones snapped and he fell to his hands and knees.