I was in the deepest of shits.

When shit gets real.

That kind of shit.

For some reason I could not wake up, I just could not feel my body, and to make it worse, I was being haunted by the Nightmare God.

“You can’t escape me,” He hissed all around me. “You are in my domain.”

It must have been true, since all my previous tricks to fend him off were proving to be completely ineffective. I had yet one to attempt, but had been failing so far. It was like Feras was pulling me to him whenever I moved too far.

But I knew there was no real “moving” inside my own mind. I’m not one of those ignorant novel protagonists.

Therefore I was doing the second best thing, walking through my memories. So far it had been the only thing to give me some respite. Better to show him random useless memories, and keep him entertained, rather than him handpicking what could be bad for me, and for mankind.

I really appreciated how the Demon Lord’s magic staff had impaled its own owner. Would be nice if it stayed that way.

Anyway, direct confrontation hadn’t worked well, and I was not eager to attempt again.

I wasn’t sure why the God of Nightmare wasn’t exerting a heavier hand, like Alher last time, but I planned to delay the confrontation for as long as possible.

I needed time to think. To focus.

Not an easy thing to do from inside a dream, while being pursued.

And my dream instinct of bravado and fearlessness was not helping. Every time my attention lapsed I reverted back to suicidal dumbassery. Old habits die hard.

I was at the office with Yuri. We were pulling an all-nighter, it was just the two of us.

“Are you shitting me?” He asked, breaking the silence. “John and Jane Smith?! That’s like-”

“Yes,” I replied, wondering if it had been a mistake to mention they had abandoned me in my teens. “Very hard to track down even if I wished to do so. At least they had the courtesy of sending Grandma my way.”

“Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re being serious or not.” He said with mixture of awe and doubt.

“I’m a mysterious man with a deep backstory.” I said sarcastically.

“Sorry, man.” He said apologetically.

“Don’t be, I’m better off without the assholes parents who abandoned me.”

I shook myself off the memory and stood up from the chair. Unfortunately, Feras was not the only one getting suckered into these flashbacks.

I took in my surroundings. The windows looked good. I jumped through it, as if it were air, just as Yuri’s head exploded into a gushing of blackness.

“How long can you flee, I wonder?” I heard Feras hissing behind me.

Boy, he sure was having fun at playing with his food.

Fleeing. I felt anger swelling up at the thought again. It had been a very, very long time since I last ran away from a bad dream instead of smashing it into a bloody pulp. No! Stay focused, Allen! I reminded myself.

Thinking was hard, but I had realized two things.

I was still alive, and wherever I was, it was a place where ExFeras could touch me directly. This was different from the previous dreams. I couldn’t cut him off now.

I could feel him, always close as I wasn’t really running anywhere.

I still didn’t know what game Feras was playing.

If only I could reach that place…

“Why aren’t you killing me?” I asked while walking behind a corner of the empty streets. The scenery there was like half rendered. I had to jump into another memory. Easier said than done.

“I’ll make you mine.”

“Sorry, I’m only into pretty girls,” I replied, while tracing a luminous circle on the floor with my finger. Become a fucking door, you stupid circle!

The circle resisted, but eventually materialized as a trap door. I jumped inside right as a broken-necked Yuri with black pits instead of facial features entered my vision. This God of Nightmare had no creativity nor vision when it came to nightmares.

Like a boomer with experience but no passion for his trade. Probably waiting for retirement.

I fell for many interminable seconds. I had no idea where I was going to end up to.

I landed inside my old house. It was night. I managed to keep myself detached from the memory. There it was, a younger inferior me.

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He was holding a coin.

“We have nothing,” He muttered. “We are nothing.”

Great. Cringe emo shit I didn’t have time for.

My younger self threw the coin which began spinning on the ground. Suddenly, I was aware of another entity beside the younger me, who had now literally lost his face.

Not-Amy. The comforting expressionless girl, the manifestation of my regrets. Sometimes it appeared as other people, but most of the time it was the childhood friend I couldn’t say goodbye to.

Just the one I was looking for!

“Not-Amy!” I said grabbing her arm. Perhaps my subconscious could lend a little hand into easing this situation. I wasn’t sure. My subconscious was stubbornly uncooperative at times.

“I’m not Amy,” she replied while glancing at the spinning coin.

“Exactly,” I replied. “Can you bring me into the void? Can you shake Feras off?!”

The empty place had eluded me the whole time, no matter how hard I sought it. It was my last chance to distance myself from Feras and take a breather. My instinct was telling me so, and recently I had resolved to trust my instinct more.

The girl fixed her gaze on mine and nodded, without a word. She guided me through a door that wasn’t there before, we left behind the faceless younger Allen who was still staring at the spinning coin.

And just like that we were in the void. Blissful black emptiness.

Immediately, I noticed the lack of that pursuing presence. A stark difference. Feras was not here. I still waited anxiously a few minutes before letting myself relax.

I had now idea why it was working, but it was working!

My subconscious was now cosplaying as little Allen, perhaps encouraged by the recent encounter.

“Empty but not empty. Dead but not dead. Living but not living.” He said in monotone.

Since I had no idea how to reply to cringe, I gave him a headpat before lying down on the blackness that was the ground, so I could think.

I mentally replayed my supbar performance leading to the Demon Lord. I could have done many things better, smarter.

I should have at least swallowed the magical rings before getting caught. I should have kept running despite that demon servant being there. I could have left the magical armor somewhere closer.

Why was the self-destruct mechanism sabotaged? The answer was simple now that I had time to think about it.

Who was meant to maneuver the armor? Klenn.

Who was the most insufferable enchanter who had pissed off the whole department? Klenn.

Someone had tried to get back at Klenn, to embarrass him during his performance.

I doubt whoever it was, had anticipated the self-destruction spell upgrade.

Still, very unprofessional. I hope he got fired. And set on fire, possibly. In no particular order. I smothered my anger. I would’ve gone back safely had it not happened.

Just when I had found a way to recharge the armor and keep fighting. The exhilarating feeling of power. The amazing maneuverability. I had truly felt invincible.

At least until I had to leave it and run on my legs. How stark a contrast, I even felt short on breath as a painful reminder that I hadn’t been training my physique enough.

I tried to wake up, and failed again. Then I tried to astral project, but could only confirm it wasn’t possible. The Demons were doing something to keep me inside my dreams and within my body.

The universe sure throws some unreasonable challenges my way.

But I hate losing.

Feras thinks he’s got me in his pocket? I’m gonna find a way to cure him from such delusions. I have wageslaved enough.

I took a moment to restore a proper mindset. I’m Allen Smith. God dumped me in this world without any cheat skills. But magic is real here! I can still make my own cheats and live my isekai dreams.

「Allen: Alright. Much better.」

I told myself. Mindset and confidence restored.

First things first. I had to let people know I was still alive.

There was only one option, contacting Ellin in dream.

First problem was that my dreams were being plagued by an intrusive God.

Second problem was sending something resembling a message through dreams. Without direct contact it was very, very unlikely to get anything across reliably.

But then again, I had no other option.

Perhaps I could deal with the first problem. I rolled my head toward my regret, now back to being Not-Amy, who was unusually pointing her uncanny stare in my direction. Usually she just stared motionless at the void.

「Allen: How about we go on a trip? Could you fend off unwanted presences?」

I asked the manifestation of my subconscious.

「Not-Amy: Yes.」

She replied, not expanding on that.

I assumed I had to lug her around for that to work, so I stood up and took her hand.

「Allen: Ok, what now?」

「Not-Amy: Go.」

She simply said.

「Allen: Do we just walk around while holding hands? How about you turn into a ring or something?」

The girl ignored me and started walking in a random direction to get me moving.

「Allen: Alright, hand-holding it is.」

We walked for a while until the scenery changed. We were now within the Academy walls, but the layout was all wrong. We passed through several doors, leading to different places. Ellin, I need Ellin. I told myself to convince my subconscious to manifest my friend.

We crossed several dreamscapes, managing to avoid Feras, until we arrived outdoors. A forest, at night. Ellin was just ahead, seated by a campfire, writing on her journal. I sat beside her. Amy walked near the fire but remained standing.

My subconscious is so dependable when forced to act. Could’ve helped a little sooner, though. It felt like I had been running from Feras for days. In dreams it was hard to tell.

「Allen: Ellin…」

I said, channeling my whole intent.

She looked at me and smiled.

「Allen: I killed the Demon Lord.」

I said to gauge her reaction. Technically, the Demon Lord had killed himself with his poorly engineered magical staff, I merely lent a hand.

「Ellin: Nothing can beat ravioli!」

She said merrily, completely ignoring what I had just said. I closed my eyes, taking in the failure. I was hoping I would succeed in the moment of need, but this was just another fabrication of my mind.

With a real spiritual contact I would have felt the presence of her own mind.

I knew it was possible to do without touching her spirit—Feras could—I just hadn’t found the trick yet.

「Allen: I’m being held captive at the Obsidian Citadel.」

I said anyway, wondering if any echoes of my thought would reach her. Was she even asleep at this time?

「Ellin: That’s funny!」

She remarked, before going back to writing on her journal. I grabbed her shoulder to get her attention.

No Ellin, it’s not fun at all!

「Allen: Tell Violet, when you get back to Valarest.」

She changed her expression into one of worry.

「Ellin: A thunder on a clear sky?」 She said randomly.

「Allen: Tell Violet. And stay away from dangers.」

She stared at me in confusion. It was useless.

I stood up and turned back to Amy.

「Allen: Alright Not-Amy, let’s go explore random ass dreamscapes until we can wake up.」

I wanted to try visiting the other guys too. Never hurts to try.

Whatever the Demons were doing to keep me from waking up, would stop soon because Feras had lost his handle on me.

But how?

And what was he waiting for to brainwash me or compel me? After the Bodystealer I did some reading on how demons would exploit a human... and man, if even half of what I read was true, I was royally fucked.

Although I was thankful for still being myself, I had the rising concern that I was missing important parts of the picture.

This is not what I would’ve done if I were a bad guy.

There had to be a reason.