I entered the chaotic hall of the Adventurer’s Guild where my friends were still waiting for me.
「Grastel: Allen! So what was it all about?」
I sat down among them and replied.
「Allen: Ah, well… it’s like this…」
I made a short summary omitting the part where Violet had exposed my secrets. There were too many ears around, not counting the alcoholic dwarves.
「Grastel: … All that gold every month without risking your life?」
Grastel said dumbfounded while probably reconsidering his career path.
「Grastel: But you’ve barely learned any magic yet… Ellin, isn’t he just a beginner?」
Grastel asked, turning to Ellin for confirmation.
「Ellin: Well, you saw what he can do. Besides, Allen never slacks off, does he?」
She smiled at me and I nodded. I never slack off when interesting stuff is involved.
「Ellin: And they don’t hire just anyone, you know? You must have really impressed Violet and Khalkear.」
Namrick shook his head sadly letting out a heavy sigh.
「Namrick: Looks like we won’t be able to bring you along in our quests for some time.」
「Allen: We’ll see about that. In any case, I still have one week of freedom, we could do one little adventure…」
I pressed my lips and continued.
「Allen: As long as it doesn’t involve elves, sacred grounds or gods.」
「Yusdrolir: Gahaha! Who needs those prideful creatures ’nyway?」
I stared at Yusdrolir and wondered out loud.
「Allen: Hmm, who knows. We could trade our dwarf for a pretty female elf spellweaver. It’s not good for diversity to have so many males in the group, right guys?」
I grinned around at the team. I was actually serious though, I was hoping for more women joining our group. Possibly sexy and mature. And starting a harem, with me as the male alpha. Delusional thoughts filled my mind.
「Yusdrolir: O-Oi! Ye wouldn’t! How can ye even compare a sturdy dwarven warrior to a scrawny feeble spell-flinger.」
Yusdrolir shot panicked glances at me and the others.
「Yusdrolir: Ye wouldn’t, would ye?!」
We grinned at each other while the dwarf grumbled under his beard.
「Grastel: Speaking of adventures…」
He stood up dramatically with a grin plastered over his face.
「Grastel: We are five people now! We can register an official party name!」
「Ellin: Yes! We waited for everyone to be present before picking a name!」
「Namrick: How should we call it?」
「Grastel: Blinding Dagger?」
「Allen: Too daggerous.」
My pun was lost in translation.
「Namrick: Blazing Sword!」
Grastel rolled his eyes muttering something about ‘swords’.
「Ellin: Unyielding Spirit?」
「Yusdrolir: Hammering… Booze?」
The dwarf’s proposal was met with flat stares.
I had no idea so I just threw in the first thing that came to my mind.
「Allen: The Wage Slaves?」
I said as a joke.
「Grastel: The Weije Sleiss? It sounds kinda cool.」
「Allen: No wai–」
I tried to stop them.
「Namrick: … Exotic and mysterious.」
Said Namrick scratching his chin.
「Allen: I was jus–」
「Ellin: I like it! It sounds like old Karelan.」
Ellin exclaimed with a smile while the dwarf simply shrugged.
「Allen: Just a sec–」
「Weije Sleiss!」
They yelled and nodded together.
「Weije Sleiss!」
I stared speechlessly. It was too late to repair the damage.
And so we became the Weije Sleiss.
They never even asked me what it meant.
----------------------------------------
Ellin left my room after I gave her a quick refresh and answered her questions about lucid dreaming. She was eager, but these things took time and she had just begun.
Finally, I was alone.
I sat down at my desk and put my silver box and adamantium ring before me.
It was time to work.
I first took the silver cube and used the available magic potential to create 【Magic Generators】 to help me recreate the processor parts, then I started assembling them inside the ring. It took me approximately four hours to get it done against the month it would have taken originally.
I copied all the data over and started working on the 【Magic Constructs】 that would serve as the core AI for the game-like interface I had been developing for so long.
Another hour later it was done. The constructs ended up eating a third of the magic potential, it was a lot but that was exactly why I had bought this ring.
I launched the automated tests and made adjustments until everything was in working order.
It was ready.
I took a deep breath, caressing in my hand the culmination of countless hours of work.
This is it. I felt a tingle of excitement as I slid the ring on my finger and activated it.
> SYSTEM BOOTING
> Memory…OK
> Routines…OK
> AI_Interface…OK
> Peripherals…OK
> STARTING RPG_GUI.EXE
Yes. I rejoiced, a smile spreading on my lips.
> Quest completed (Build a game-like interface) +100 EXP
Yes! The sweet reward of pointless numbers spurred my endorphins.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
【SHOW STATUS】
> Warning: Learning mode, reduced functionality.
> Warning: Not enough data to display absolute stats values.
>
>
>
> Allen Smith
> Age: 30
> LV: 5
> Class: Yes-man Informagic Developer
> HP: 100%
> MP: 10%
> SP: 70%
>
> Skills
>
>
> Titles
> Skullcrusher
YES!
Wait a second… ‘Yes-man’? I scowled at the ring. I did it all just to build you… you ingrate!
【FUCK YOU】
> Syntax Error
As I feared the magical constructs had inherited my bad sense of humor. They were, after all, reflections of myself. I could do nothing about that, such was the price of smarter Constructs.
But I grinned again, I couldn’t contain my euphoria.
It works!
I shook a fist at the air.
IT WORKS!
「Allen: Mwhahahahahahah!」
I laughed maniacally uncaring for who would hear me.
* BAM BAM *
Someone bumped the wall a couple of times in retort. Right, it was night time.
【MIMETIC MODE ON】
The ring seemed to disappear, but it was just a weak illusion doing its job. It was good enough to pass unnoticed, but anyone paying attention would notice it. However, I had done something wrong with the spell because it had a medium amount of mana consumption, I’d have to check it out later.
【MIMETIC MODE OFF】
The dark green metal with opalescent colors reappeared on my finger. I planned to keep it on at all times.
I looked back at the silver cube. I was going to turn it into a manufacturing device, doubling back as a backup.
I needed to buy another ring. There were many things I wanted to try.
I tucked myself into bed.
【RUN LUCID_DREAMER.EXE】
> Background process started. Monitoring sleep pattern…
Now that I can, I’ll upgrade Ellin’s ring with my lucid dream inducer so she can catch up faster.
I closed my eyes and slept.
I was standing atop a mountain, surrounded by a snowstorm. I could barely see anything.
There was something I was trying to get away from but it seemed I was walking in circles.
The snowstorm intensified.
I walked blindly until I found refuge in a crevice on a rocky cliff.
It took me a few moments to realize I wasn’t alone, an old man wrapped in ragged clothing had found this nook before me.
He glanced at me and spoke.
「Old man: There is no escape from what you’re running from.」
『You are dreaming.』
The mental voice I had recorded reminded me I was dreaming. Yes, I am dreaming. I grinned at the old man.
「Allen: We’ll see about that, old man.」
I said to the dream character, then I calmed my mind and… 【Astral Projection】!
Suddenly, the eerie world of mana came to sight, I waited a few seconds to get my bearings. Going to a full 360 degrees vision was always a little disorienting.
I floated across the wall and stopped in the middle of the trio’s room, where I started meditating. I wondered if by some stroke of fate Ellin would suddenly manage to project out.
No stroke of fate, I waited for what felt like an endless time. I was bored.
Let’s have a stroll around the city. I floated in the sprawling crossroads of Valarest. Unlike my friends and the elves in the Danaanlar, the people here had a much less dim spirit on average.
It made sense, commoners didn’t train their spirit much. I could actually make most of their features. Few wore enchanted clothing. Most of them looked… naked.
It was pointless to go around and peep, though. Everyone looked bald, what a turnoff, besides I couldn’t feel any sex drive while astral projecting.
Many questions filled my mind. If a mana being could only see mana, how did the eyeless sand elemental see the water I was throwing at it? There had to be a trick to watch and listen across the material plane.
What I could perceive was of little use for espionage. I couldn’t read writings because, unless some kind of mana infused ink was used, it would simply be invisible to my spirit eyes. I couldn’t hear sounds because only faint muffled echoes reverberated, covered by the constant whooshing of mana wind. Touching was a no go, obviously, since I was merrily floating across walls.
Moving around I saw tendrils coming down from the sky in the distance, no doubt some temple and God. No need to say, I steered clear of that place.
I was curious about pure mana beings, I couldn’t see any inside the city. Were they scared by human activity? Or maybe the wards kept them away…
Feeling a spur of courage I decided to try to enter the Academy, wondering what would happen.
I floated above the faint ghostly rooftops. Maybe some mold was making them more visible, plants were alive too and emitted their own mana.
It didn’t take much for me to reach the Arcane Academy. Unlike most buildings, its walls looked solid even here. Brimming with mana.
I remained still a few minutes, contemplating the glowing architecture before me.
Then I launched myself against its walls and…
* ZAP *
I was back into the dream, still in the crevice. But now the old man was gone.
Well, I had to imagine the Academy was protected against spirit intrusions. I reasoned while walking out toward the now calmer snowstorm. Was there someone there in the distance? A small silhouette stood unwavering against the snowy barrage. Obviously a trap.
I took flight in the opposite direction, uncaring for the dream snow. I wonder if there’s something outside this snowstorm. I thought, looking around while flying forward. I kept going for a couple of minutes, taking in the white scenery before me. It seemed to lose detail the further I went.
Until the snow stopped.
Before me I could see a huge wall of ice, extending in all directions. And a small gray door down in the ground.
I floated down before it.
Should I open it? I wondered while closing my hand around the door handle.
I opened it.
“I’m doing it,” I said, squeezing the empty coffee cup in my hand. “It’s happening.”
“Good luck then…” Eric said looking at his watch. “I gotta go to another meeting, let me know how it goes!”
“I’ve waited six months for this day, I scheduled the appointment in advance...”
“Yes, yes… you’ve already told me four times. And the stars…”
“… Are aligned! I won’t be denied, not after all the shit I had to deal with.”
“Yep… later!” He hurried off from the break room.
I violently tossed the empty cup against the helpless trash bin.
Five years and not one time I remained true my job description. Why does it have to be me to fix our client’s random tech issues?
I’m a fucking developer and yet I always end up having to fix absurd unrelated problems, reconfiguring servers instances repairing computers from scrap parts or managing firewalls and proxies because the technicians were at home sick when the shit hit the fan.
Why did I always have to gloat about how efficiently I automate my tasks? I should have kept my mouth shut and enjoyed the leisure time, pretending to work. But no… I had to gloat and brag about my skills.
And the last episode? I had to manually fix half a hundred ancient routers because a serious vulnerability had been found. They kept getting hacked and people had to restart them every fifteen minutes to keep the network from coming to standstill. The budget to refit them had not been approved thanks to bureaucracy.
To my dread, management here at Generic Corp Ltd decided to ask me, a software developer, to fix them. Because “Well, you’re a developer, this should be a cakewalk for you. We heard you’re our tech genius! You don’t want to assist accounting with manual data entry, do you?”
I didn't want to do either.
I had complained about it to my boss over the phone, but all I got was a “Generic Corp Ltd is our main client, do your best or they might replace our people with Indian consultants, they’ve been saying we cost too much! Good luck. *click*”. I almost squeezed my phone to death.
Thankfully someone on a obscure Russian forum had pinpointed where the issue was. The problem was that the fixed firmware download button only returned a broken link and there was nowhere else to get it. Of course, the author of the fix did not reply to my PMs.
I had to read the whole mistranslated thread for clues, study the flavor of assembler code for that blasted router’s processor and fix it myself. But I did it. I fucking did it.
Maybe I’m just a masochist. I thought as I ended the twenty minutes drive to my company offices and walked to the elevator pressing the button.
Nothing. I pressed again and again. Still nothing.
“Elevators are out of order, they’ll be fixed in a couple of hours.” Said a maintenance guy. “You’ll have to take the stairs.”
“FUCK!” I said out loud as I stomped toward the stairs.
My company’s offices were on the last floor, the 50th. Having anticipated traffic and bad luck I had still enough margin to make it. I ran up the stairs with all my might.
When I reached the top floor I was drenched in sweat and panting. I felt like I was dying.
“Allen Smith… appointment,” I said to the boss’s secretary, who shot me a weird glance but didn’t stop me. I sat down on the closest office chair, panting hard to recover my breath. I still had a couple of minutes, I steeled my resolve. I won’t let myself be dismissed this time. I thought as I closed my fists. Hold your ground, Allen.
“Hey, you! Wait!” The secretary shouted to a man with a hard face, walking onward uncaring. He went past me and into the door.
“Hey, it’s my turn!” I complained. He didn’t give a shit as he slammed the door behind him.
That was the last straw. I lost my shit.
“God.” I stood up, gritting my teeth. “Fucking!” I grabbed the chair from the cylinder. “DAMN!” I barged into my boss’s fucking office, brandishing the motherfucking chair.
The man who was sabotaging my appointment was before me, giving me his back. He noticed me too late.
“GET,” I slammed the chair hard on his head and shoulders. “ON THE FUCKING,” I slammed down again. “LINE!” Another slam. He slumped down on the fitted carpet, unconscious.
I stared horrified.
Oh God, what the fuck did I just do? The boss is gonna fire me.
My heart was pumping like a fucking jackhammer and my hands were trembling with adrenaline. I raised my head to my boss, he looked at me with his strong chin and graying hair and an expression of surprise painted on his face.
Whatever.
“I want a raise,” I said letting the chair fall.
I don’t even give a shit about this job.
To my surprise, he broke into a grin. “Done!” He said.
The fuck?!
I stared in disbelief. Did he just agree to give me a raise? All these months trying to fix an appointment against postponements, sudden commitments and denials… and all I had to do was to chair someone to unconsciousness?
I looked back to the man I had beaten down and froze.
Is that… is that a fucking gun?! He had a gun! I almost risked getting shot! Holy shit! I felt a wave of nausea hit me.
“You really saved me there!” My boss said kicking the gun away before calling security.
Are you fucking real?
“What was your name again, son?” My boss asked me for the umpteenth time since I had been hired.
“Allen Smith, sir.”
“Allen, free yourself this Friday, I’m inviting you to a party to celebrate!” He said slapping a hand on my left shoulder and squeezing. "Let's talk about your raise..."
Nothing makes sense. It’s like a fucking game.