Chapter 2: Waiting in good company!

Utter and complete darkness surrounded me. Let me tell you one thing though. All these stuff about seeing your life passing through your eyes, the moment you die are, complete bullshit!!!!

I don’t know if it is only me saying this, but I didn’t see anything! No happy moments, which besides the time spent with my parents there were none, no sad moments, which I had plenty of those, no…..NADA! Just darkness all around me.

It’s as if, my life’s movie, didn’t have any worthy scenes for me to watch. Well, in that black abyss that I was immersed into, all I could think of was, that this is it.

I’m dead and I will finally find my rest in peace, away from all those morons who took it upon themselves to bring me down.

My only remorse was that, during the brief time that I had been alive, aka during these twenty years, besides my parents there hasn’t been anyone else to see past my appearance and truly love me.

I had no friends, no academic achievements. Truly nothing to show for myself, besides of course being one hell of a fighter.

Yet, considering the reputation my outstanding fighting skills had managed to produce and judging by my recent death, could that be considered as something worth bragging for?

There were two things amidst this mess that made me feel better though,  enough to bring a smile on my face….one , I still died undefeated and two, it took a truck to bring me down!

As I was waiting in the darkness smiling to myself, suddenly a bright light surrounded me, dissolving the darkness.

As my surroundings began to become clear, I saw that I was in a white room filled with desks and chairs. It was like some sort of a company’s office.

The floor consisted of polished white marble, the walls were bare from any paintings or decorations. The only pieces of furniture in the room where the desks and chairs, with the chairs having strange markings on the back of them, as well as a few sofas in the front part of this huge room that seemed positioned there to be used by the people temporarily waiting for their turn.

Currently all the desks were occupied, on one side of the desk beings dressed in white were processing the data of the persons in front of them.

I called them beings because even though they looked exactly like humans there was some aura surrounding each and every one of them, an aura that would make one conclude that were not simple humans like me and you, but something completely different, something divine.

“Huh, these might be the ones that will judge us or whatever” is what I told myself.

It was quite easy to differentiate those beings from the rest of us dead here, as all of them wore white, had an aura of superiority and were the ones who were using that gizmo that looked like an old IBM PC. It makes one wonder what sort of software they were using…

They were looking pretty serious and hard working, so I thought not to wait, but just ask one of them, what the hell is going on in here.

As such, I approached the desk closer to me. A fat looking man was occupying that desk, clicking and clicking while the occupant of the chair in front of him, was just patiently waiting for his judgment, on whether he would go to heaven or hell, to be delivered.

I coughed a bit and said “Excuse me”. No reply though came from the fatty.  

I leaned in and snuck a peak on his monitor. What I saw left me speechless. The year I died was 2103 and the software they were using was something out of the story books I’ ve read in high school, the legendary “WINDOWS XP”.

Dumbfounded as I was, due to their technological inadvance, what irked me more was the fact that all those clickings that fatty was making, was for the solitaire he was playing.

I was truly impressed! He seemed to be playing it in hard mode, but that was not the case here, he was supposed to be working!

“Oy fatty! Drop the solitaire for a minute and explain what’s going on here!” I screamed.

Finally, the fatty acknowledged my presence and without even moving his eyes from the screen told me “Pick a number from the machine over there and wait for your turn. And thank you for you patience …sir!”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Fuming, I turned my gaze and for the first time I realized that there was indedd a machine with just one button . I stepped away from him and pressed the button on the so called machine of theirs. A small card came out and on it there was the number “666” .

“You’ ve got to be shitting me I yelled! I have to wait for 555 people, till it’s my turn?”. I said after also taking notice of the screen hanging from the ceiling displaying the number 111.

 For once, I didn’t even notice that even the system here was treating me like a demonic presence, by giving me the number 666 and just focused on the fact that I would have to wait. Patience obviously was not a virtue I possessed, yet I was not insane enough to create mayhem in here.

“Nothing else to do than suck it up and wait” I said to myself and went on to what seemed to be the waiting area and took a sit on the sofa, with several other people around me waiting for their turns.

Between those of us “outstanding individuals if I may say so” were a priest, a weird looking black guy with a bone ring passing trough his nostrils and a monofrail (damn and I thought I was ugly!) and a sexy looking redhead.

Oh, this woman was so fine! Tall around 1.85 (hmm a bit too tall for a woman but she could always be one of those models), long red hair, curvy in all the right places, with breasts around 32C and beautiful blue eyes.

She was wearing a red dress showing enough cleavage that even the priest next to me, couldn’t help but focus his holy gaze on them. I couldn’t help but roam my gaze on her body, from head to toe. I was appreciating her beautiful features, finally focusing my eyes on her beautiful neck and her….. adam’s apple. Wait what? I know in biology I wasn’t exactly good, but I’m pretty sure only guys had those….

“Oy, you redhead! Are you a guy?”

“Yes got a problem dude?” said the redhead with a deep voice like a truck driver who used to smoke 3 packs of Mal*oro per day.

“No problem with me Ma’am”

“It’s not Ma’am! It’s Miss! I am still single, you know! In case you are interested…”

“ Oh, I’m sorry, but I have a girlfriend” I said lying my ass off, only to continue,

“But I think the priest right there might be…that is interested in you” I said with a wink.

With that the attention of the redhead was away from me and onto the priest. “ May god have mercy on your soul, cause I didn’t!” I thought as I left my seat so that the redhead could sit next to him.

The last thing I heard from the pale face of the priest was a shriek “ Please, I have sworn to abstinence!”

Washing my hands clean of those two, my attention was onto the weird looking black guy with the bone ring passing trough his nostrils and the monofrail.

His torso was naked and his lower parts were covered with a grass skirt. “Hmm, I guess they deal with people from all around the world here”, I thought.

“So mate, what are you here for?” I asked him, being curious.

“Buga, nooga, mooga” he replied

“Yeap, thought so… we couldn’t understand each other”

Still I had plenty of time to kill till my number came up, so, I tried to communicate with him using hand motions.

After what seemed ages, I managed to finally understand, that this guy was a simple doll collector, living happily in the jungle, when some vicious white people tried to take away his doll collection. The nerve of those guys!

He was even kind enough to take out and show me one of his dolls’ head, which somehow he had tucked away under his skirt…..

I was not even going to touch that thing, but not to be disrespectful I took a look on the doll’s head, in order to show him my appreciation for his handmanship.

“Hmm, this doll’s head is very well made, it looks like skin……Wtf! This is not a doll it’s a freaking shrunken head!”.

With a pale face I stood up and went to the desk that had just called my number, “666”!